Step children and family rules

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That crazy, they've known one of these girls since she was 2! She doesn't remember her life before them! How heartless. Regardless, you should let the girls take the trip and take them somewhere else, like the beach. Maybe something older girls will enjoy more, like New York. I'm sorry.

And you got knocked up by a guy who had a one and 3 year old. Gross

They were probably an affair.

^ Yup. Explains OPs attempts to have a fairy tale family. Trying to minimize the guilt.

I was a little puzzled by the grandparents but this is a good explanation for the timeline and the grandparents' behavior. OP is trying to make a "perfect family" to assuage some of the guilt of being the AP, while the grandparents are trying to be sure their bio grandkids feel "special" and get treated well given that they lost their intact family early.

Lol you people really don’t have enough going on that you have to spin fantastical stories about this family to fit your preferred position that the grandparents are in the right? OP has a good relationship with her stepkids’ mom (unlikely if she was an AP), which I know is not as fun as imagining OP was an AP and her parents are just trying to right that wrong, but come on.

What other scenario gets you a kid 2 years younger than their half-sibling. I mean, it's possible that OP's older child is the result of a ONS with a newly-divorced guy but Occam's Razor and all....

Read the thread. There was no affair. OP has already answered this scenario you concocted.

DP. I 100% do not believe OP’s little fairytale about being old friends who were set up on a blind date “after” his divorce. Suuuuuuuuuure.

+1. And then to bring another baby into the picture almost immediately? Yeah…Given the shady timeline, I wonder if OP is overdoing it with the steps because they are getting closer to the age when they will do math and ask questions. She’s trying to assure their buy-in to her and her DH’s choices through material means. “It started off shady, but didn’t we give you THE.BEST.LIFE.EVER??!!??” She accuses her parents of trying to set her daughters up with a lavish lifestyle, but in the next breath she’s telling us how she and DH are saving to provide everything to the stepdaughters. Nice diversion, OP. But we see you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That crazy, they've known one of these girls since she was 2! She doesn't remember her life before them! How heartless. Regardless, you should let the girls take the trip and take them somewhere else, like the beach. Maybe something older girls will enjoy more, like New York. I'm sorry.

And you got knocked up by a guy who had a one and 3 year old. Gross

They were probably an affair.

^ Yup. Explains OPs attempts to have a fairy tale family. Trying to minimize the guilt.

I was a little puzzled by the grandparents but this is a good explanation for the timeline and the grandparents' behavior. OP is trying to make a "perfect family" to assuage some of the guilt of being the AP, while the grandparents are trying to be sure their bio grandkids feel "special" and get treated well given that they lost their intact family early.

Lol you people really don’t have enough going on that you have to spin fantastical stories about this family to fit your preferred position that the grandparents are in the right? OP has a good relationship with her stepkids’ mom (unlikely if she was an AP), which I know is not as fun as imagining OP was an AP and her parents are just trying to right that wrong, but come on.

What other scenario gets you a kid 2 years younger than their half-sibling. I mean, it's possible that OP's older child is the result of a ONS with a newly-divorced guy but Occam's Razor and all....

Read the thread. There was no affair. OP has already answered this scenario you concocted.

DP. I 100% do not believe OP’s little fairytale about being old friends who were set up on a blind date “after” his divorce. Suuuuuuuuuure.

+1. And then to bring another baby into the picture almost immediately? Yeah…Given the shady timeline, I wonder if OP is overdoing it with the steps because they are getting closer to the age when they will do math and ask questions. She’s trying to assure their buy-in to her and her DH’s choices through material means. “It started off shady, but didn’t we give you THE.BEST.LIFE.EVER??!!??” She accuses her parents of trying to set her daughters up with a lavish lifestyle, but in the next breath she’s telling us how she and DH are saving to provide everything to the stepdaughters. Nice diversion, OP. But we see you.

PP,

Stop reading too many fan fictions. So dramatic and ugly. I am sure that’s how it played in your family but OP life sounds typical family drama. The grandparents are wealthy and they are setting their Bio grandchildren for a lavish lifestyle because they can. OP is trying to save close enough for step kids because their mom and her family has limited income. It’s nice for change to read about the nice stepmom!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That crazy, they've known one of these girls since she was 2! She doesn't remember her life before them! How heartless. Regardless, you should let the girls take the trip and take them somewhere else, like the beach. Maybe something older girls will enjoy more, like New York. I'm sorry.

And you got knocked up by a guy who had a one and 3 year old. Gross

They were probably an affair.

^ Yup. Explains OPs attempts to have a fairy tale family. Trying to minimize the guilt.

I was a little puzzled by the grandparents but this is a good explanation for the timeline and the grandparents' behavior. OP is trying to make a "perfect family" to assuage some of the guilt of being the AP, while the grandparents are trying to be sure their bio grandkids feel "special" and get treated well given that they lost their intact family early.

Lol you people really don’t have enough going on that you have to spin fantastical stories about this family to fit your preferred position that the grandparents are in the right? OP has a good relationship with her stepkids’ mom (unlikely if she was an AP), which I know is not as fun as imagining OP was an AP and her parents are just trying to right that wrong, but come on.

What other scenario gets you a kid 2 years younger than their half-sibling. I mean, it's possible that OP's older child is the result of a ONS with a newly-divorced guy but Occam's Razor and all....

Read the thread. There was no affair. OP has already answered this scenario you concocted.

DP. I 100% do not believe OP’s little fairytale about being old friends who were set up on a blind date “after” his divorce. Suuuuuuuuuure.

+1. And then to bring another baby into the picture almost immediately? Yeah…Given the shady timeline, I wonder if OP is overdoing it with the steps because they are getting closer to the age when they will do math and ask questions. She’s trying to assure their buy-in to her and her DH’s choices through material means. “It started off shady, but didn’t we give you THE.BEST.LIFE.EVER??!!??” She accuses her parents of trying to set her daughters up with a lavish lifestyle, but in the next breath she’s telling us how she and DH are saving to provide everything to the stepdaughters. Nice diversion, OP. But we see you.

PP,

Stop reading too many fan fictions. So dramatic and ugly. I am sure that’s how it played in your family but OP life sounds typical family drama. The grandparents are wealthy and they are setting their Bio grandchildren for a lavish lifestyle because they can. OP is trying to save close enough for step kids because their mom and her family has limited income. It’s nice for change to read about the nice stepmom!

It’s okay, OP. We get it. You are nothing short of heroic in all of this. You would never think to misrepresent your situation because whoever would do that on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The solution is for you to stop being a crappy parent to your younger children and let them go with their grandparents.

There is a big difference between taking 2 children on an international trip and 4. You are being ridiculous. Do you really think your stepchildren don’t go on special trips with their mom’s side of the family? You are the problem here and you’re hurting ALL the kids with your version of “treating the kids equally” which is anything but.

+1

The step kids aren't related to you parents! If your kids don't go to Paris with your parents, maybe I can go instead. Holy crap - I would be thrilled!

[Anonymous]

OP here,
A lot of you are very judgemental and incorrect. I offer to pay for myself and step kids and join my parents on the trip to Paris. My parents said NO. They just want my kids with them. All the time it's the same answer and I stop asking except this year. Because of COVID, we have not travel oversea as a family in two years. My oldest stepkid is 16 and we wanted to take her on a nice vacation. All four kids are well travel since five years old and up.We have travel all over by saving our money, definitely not my parents money.

I am not money hungry, I didn't not break anyone marriage, dh and I were childhood friends and we met up after his divorce. We got married right away, had kids back to back. We grow up in the same area, went to school and had friends in the same group. I didn't need two to five years to know him before we got married.

I know for a fact that my stepkids don't travel anywhere with mom or her family. Because their mom and I get along and plan the girls activities every two months. Our family is healthy, open, and not rotten like some people here are talking about.

I am only child to my parents and I have given them access to my kids 100%
My parents are generous with helping my kids and I am ok with it. I am not ok when they completely ignore my stepkids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The solution is for you to stop being a crappy parent to your younger children and let them go with their grandparents.

There is a big difference between taking 2 children on an international trip and 4. You are being ridiculous. Do you really think your stepchildren don’t go on special trips with their mom’s side of the family? You are the problem here and you’re hurting ALL the kids with your version of “treating the kids equally” which is anything but.

+1

The step kids aren't related to you parents! If your kids don't go to Paris with your parents, maybe I can go instead. Holy crap - I would be thrilled!

OP is really into treating all the kids equally on someone else’s dime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here,
A lot of you are very judgemental and incorrect. I offer to pay for myself and step kids and join my parents on the trip to Paris. My parents said NO. They just want my kids with them. All the time it's the same answer and I stop asking except this year. Because of COVID, we have not travel oversea as a family in two years. My oldest stepkid is 16 and we wanted to take her on a nice vacation. All four kids are well travel since five years old and up.We have travel all over by saving our money, definitely not my parents money.

I am not money hungry, I didn't not break anyone marriage, dh and I were childhood friends and we met up after his divorce. We got married right away, had kids back to back. We grow up in the same area, went to school and had friends in the same group. I didn't need two to five years to know him before we got married.

I know for a fact that my stepkids don't travel anywhere with mom or her family. Because their mom and I get along and plan the girls activities every two months. Our family is healthy, open, and not rotten like some people here are talking about.

I am only child to my parents and I have given them access to my kids 100%
My parents are generous with helping my kids and I am ok with it. I am not ok when they completely ignore my stepkids.

Was the youngest step daughter not born when your DH and his first wife separated? The fastest divorce I know took 13 months and that was because they could forego the full year separation because of infidelity. Otherwise, it takes longer. This is why it is hard to figure out. Did you date before his divorce was final and marry immediately after it was granted? Were you already pregnant when you married? Are the 12 and 14 year olds really closer to three years apart?

I just cannot figure out a timeline that works well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here,
A lot of you are very judgemental and incorrect. I offer to pay for myself and step kids and join my parents on the trip to Paris. My parents said NO. They just want my kids with them. All the time it's the same answer and I stop asking except this year. Because of COVID, we have not travel oversea as a family in two years. My oldest stepkid is 16 and we wanted to take her on a nice vacation. All four kids are well travel since five years old and up.We have travel all over by saving our money, definitely not my parents money.

I am not money hungry, I didn't not break anyone marriage, dh and I were childhood friends and we met up after his divorce. We got married right away, had kids back to back. We grow up in the same area, went to school and had friends in the same group. I didn't need two to five years to know him before we got married.

I know for a fact that my stepkids don't travel anywhere with mom or her family. Because their mom and I get along and plan the girls activities every two months. Our family is healthy, open, and not rotten like some people here are talking about.

I am only child to my parents and I have given them access to my kids 100%
My parents are generous with helping my kids and I am ok with it. I am not ok when they completely ignore my stepkids.

Was the youngest step daughter not born when your DH and his first wife separated? The fastest divorce I know took 13 months and that was because they could forego the full year separation because of infidelity. Otherwise, it takes longer. This is why it is hard to figure out. Did you date before his divorce was final and marry immediately after it was granted? Were you already pregnant when you married? Are the 12 and 14 year olds really closer to three years apart?

I just cannot figure out a timeline that works well.

OP here,
Dh and ex-wife were separated when she was six weeks pregnant with second kid. Dh and are didn't date while he was separated, we dated for six months and got married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here,
A lot of you are very judgemental and incorrect. I offer to pay for myself and step kids and join my parents on the trip to Paris. My parents said NO. They just want my kids with them. All the time it's the same answer and I stop asking except this year. Because of COVID, we have not travel oversea as a family in two years. My oldest stepkid is 16 and we wanted to take her on a nice vacation. All four kids are well travel since five years old and up.We have travel all over by saving our money, definitely not my parents money.

I am not money hungry, I didn't not break anyone marriage, dh and I were childhood friends and we met up after his divorce. We got married right away, had kids back to back. We grow up in the same area, went to school and had friends in the same group. I didn't need two to five years to know him before we got married.

I know for a fact that my stepkids don't travel anywhere with mom or her family. Because their mom and I get along and plan the girls activities every two months. Our family is healthy, open, and not rotten like some people here are talking about.

I am only child to my parents and I have given them access to my kids 100%
My parents are generous with helping my kids and I am ok with it. I am not ok when they completely ignore my stepkids.

Was the youngest step daughter not born when your DH and his first wife separated? The fastest divorce I know took 13 months and that was because they could forego the full year separation because of infidelity. Otherwise, it takes longer. This is why it is hard to figure out. Did you date before his divorce was final and marry immediately after it was granted? Were you already pregnant when you married? Are the 12 and 14 year olds really closer to three years apart?

I just cannot figure out a timeline that works well.

OP here,
Dh and ex-wife were separated when she was six weeks pregnant with second kid. Dh and are didn't date while he was separated, we dated for six months and got married.

Still gross. Good men don’t leave a 1 year old and a pregnant wife to immediately date a girlfriend and get her pregnant too.

[Anonymous]

I just cannot figure out a timeline that works well.

OP here,
Dh and ex-wife were separated when she was six weeks pregnant with second kid. Dh and are didn't date while he was separated, we dated for six months and got married.

Still gross. Good men don’t leave a 1 year old and a pregnant wife to immediately date a girlfriend and get her pregnant too.

The timeline is surely sketch, but I can see the husband running to close the deal on this marriage and have his life set. He doesn’t have to save any money for his two daughters, she has so much money that they don’t have to work ever. Who wouldn’t want to be married to that kind of wealth. Don’t kid yourself OP,your DH and your step kids mom “get along” with you because everyone can tell that by your parents taking care of your daughters, it allows for you to find their daughters lifestyle too.

Gross

[Anonymous]

Why is everyone on this thread a 5th grader tossing out the word gross to describe everything?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone on this thread a 5th grader tossing out the word gross to describe everything?

My grandmother would say it’s vulgar. Is that better?

[Anonymous]

OP why did you English get worse with each follow up post? Is English not your first language?

[Anonymous]

Since they have been in your parent’s lives since they were so young, it’s horrible of them to exclude them from the trip. I could understand if you had only been married to their dad for a short time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone on this thread a 5th grader tossing out the word gross to describe everything?

I hate seeing adults use that word.