Told brother to keep his girlfriend aka mistress at home for the holidays.

[Anonymous]

I applaud you. Too many people just smile and nod and don't have the courage to stand up to bad behavior. Your brother and Side Piece made their bed and can lie in it.

But,

Are you prepared to lose your brother over this? While I understand and agree with your disapproval, is it better to be diplomatic? Heck if the Queen learned to tolerate Wallis Simpson maybe you can eat turkey with Side Piece?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:She is just his GF, official nor not. She's not his wife nor fiancee. She could be gone tomorrow.

He made his choice, and now he has to face the consequences from his family (she's not invited to family event).

You made your choice of not inviting her. Prepare to face your consequence from him.

You're not wrong, OP. Stand your ground.

She is wrong. She stated in her original post:

We always took the stance the mistress was not welcome at family functions until after his divorce was final. His divorce has been final since early summer but we still don't want the mistress around and have refused to meet her.

OP moved the line she had drawn. Probably hoped the AP would go away, but didn’t.
For the divorce to be final, well over a year has passed since he left his wife. OP needs to get over it. It wasn’t her marriage.

She can change her mind if she isn't ready. Let me guess, you're the other woman and feel there is nothing wrong with your behavior?

Love how anyone that supports the brother is automatically categorized as the OW.
I have a brother that has messed up plenty in his life, including an affair. I disagree with his actions, but at the end of the day he is and always will be my brother. I can’t imagine purposely not inviting his GF as a way to punish him for his affair. Childish and petty.

If brother's kids don't support the relationship, as an aunt, I would have their back first and foremost. Kids come first in this situation. Everyone else has to deal with the repercussions. Including brother and his girlfriend.

But the kids are not going to be there. Their relationship with their dad between them. Not for aunts and uncles to take sides and inject themselves into it. That only creates more drama and tension.

If you are bringing your side piece to my home, then it is my concern. I'm not 'injecting' myself into anything. The brother is the drama queen here.

The AP is now GF. It’s been over a year. How long does the grudge go on?

As long as it takes. Do you tell people experiencing grief to get over it, they've grieved enough? A year is not a long time.

For those actually impacted, yes, it can take time. But for those offended on behalf of others, it’s past time to move on.

An extended family is not impacted? You have some strange views on this. I wonder why.

I wonder why your so invested with the exwife. Do you fear your husband may leave you?
My parents divorced when I was a teenager. I didn’t speak to my dad for a year. Eventually I got over it. Ultimately, my sister looked up to AP as role model. I never did, but she was a good woman that stuck with my dad until he died.
You know what didn’t help? Aunts and uncles taking sides. It wasn’t their home that was destroyed. They had no idea what actually happened, but they felt a need to take sides.

I would resent my brother dictating who he can bring to my house. I currently like his wife more than him so the choice would be easy for me.

I would resent family not accepting my choices. They don’t have to like my choices, but they need to accept them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is just his GF, official nor not. She's not his wife nor fiancee. She could be gone tomorrow.

He made his choice, and now he has to face the consequences from his family (she's not invited to family event).

You made your choice of not inviting her. Prepare to face your consequence from him.

You're not wrong, OP. Stand your ground.

She is wrong. She stated in her original post:

We always took the stance the mistress was not welcome at family functions until after his divorce was final. His divorce has been final since early summer but we still don't want the mistress around and have refused to meet her.

OP moved the line she had drawn. Probably hoped the AP would go away, but didn’t.
For the divorce to be final, well over a year has passed since he left his wife. OP needs to get over it. It wasn’t her marriage.

She can change her mind if she isn't ready. Let me guess, you're the other woman and feel there is nothing wrong with your behavior?

Love how anyone that supports the brother is automatically categorized as the OW.
I have a brother that has messed up plenty in his life, including an affair. I disagree with his actions, but at the end of the day he is and always will be my brother. I can’t imagine purposely not inviting his GF as a way to punish him for his affair. Childish and petty.

If brother's kids don't support the relationship, as an aunt, I would have their back first and foremost. Kids come first in this situation. Everyone else has to deal with the repercussions. Including brother and his girlfriend.

But the kids are not going to be there. Their relationship with their dad between them. Not for aunts and uncles to take sides and inject themselves into it. That only creates more drama and tension.

If you are bringing your side piece to my home, then it is my concern. I'm not 'injecting' myself into anything. The brother is the drama queen here.

The AP is now GF. It’s been over a year. How long does the grudge go on?

As long as it takes. Do you tell people experiencing grief to get over it, they've grieved enough? A year is not a long time.

For those actually impacted, yes, it can take time. But for those offended on behalf of others, it’s past time to move on.

An extended family is not impacted? You have some strange views on this. I wonder why.

I wonder why your so invested with the exwife. Do you fear your husband may leave you?
My parents divorced when I was a teenager. I didn’t speak to my dad for a year. Eventually I got over it. Ultimately, my sister looked up to AP as role model. I never did, but she was a good woman that stuck with my dad until he died.
You know what didn’t help? Aunts and uncles taking sides. It wasn’t their home that was destroyed. They had no idea what actually happened, but they felt a need to take sides.

I would resent my brother dictating who he can bring to my house. I currently like his wife more than him so the choice would be easy for me.

I would resent family not accepting my choices. They don’t have to like my choices, but they need to accept them.

You sound self centered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you treating the GF that way, but not your brother? They were equal partners in the end of your brother's marriage. It seems misogynistic to hold the whole thing against the female in the relationship.

THIS! You owe her an apology and invites to Thanksgiving and Christmas. It takes two. Either blame them both or accept them both. You sound horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you treating the GF that way, but not your brother? They were equal partners in the end of your brother's marriage. It seems misogynistic to hold the whole thing against the female in the relationship.

THIS! You owe her an apology and invites to Thanksgiving and Christmas. It takes two. Either blame them both or accept them both. You sound horrible.

This seems a bit excessive and unearned. Rather, I think OP should treat them equally and disinvite the brother.

[Anonymous]

It's interesting that OP has not yet indicated whether they are willing to lose their relationship with their brother...

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Wow, I can't believe how many people are supporting you on this. Whatever you think of how they got there, this is your brother's romantic partner. It is what it is, and you need to start moving towards the new normal. You will lose your relationship with him if you hold this line.

I will add that no one except your brother and the ex really knows what went down in their relationship.

OP is responding, but not stating she is OP.

I am not OP and have responded a few times in favor of OP. It's obvious there are some side pieces in here appalled that they might get judged for their roles in the breakup of a family and flabbergasted that they might not be greeted with open arms into their two-timing boyfriend's family. That guy is no prize and not worth half this drama.

Again, you don’t have to be a “side piece” to see OP is wrong.
My dad had multiple affairs, and I am AGAINST the OP.
It wasn’t her marriage. She shouldn’t be taking sides.

It's her house - she can invite who she wants. OP is not wrong.

Except she said she would once the divorce was finalized. But she really didn’t mean that. She’s going to keep changing the goalpost.
My advice - OP needs to tell brother HE isn’t invited. It really isn’t about the AP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's interesting that OP has not yet indicated whether they are willing to lose their relationship with their brother...

Yeah. I think she doesn’t like him anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is just his GF, official nor not. She's not his wife nor fiancee. She could be gone tomorrow.

He made his choice, and now he has to face the consequences from his family (she's not invited to family event).

You made your choice of not inviting her. Prepare to face your consequence from him.

You're not wrong, OP. Stand your ground.

She is wrong. She stated in her original post:

We always took the stance the mistress was not welcome at family functions until after his divorce was final. His divorce has been final since early summer but we still don't want the mistress around and have refused to meet her.

OP moved the line she had drawn. Probably hoped the AP would go away, but didn’t.
For the divorce to be final, well over a year has passed since he left his wife. OP needs to get over it. It wasn’t her marriage.

She can change her mind if she isn't ready. Let me guess, you're the other woman and feel there is nothing wrong with your behavior?

Love how anyone that supports the brother is automatically categorized as the OW.
I have a brother that has messed up plenty in his life, including an affair. I disagree with his actions, but at the end of the day he is and always will be my brother. I can’t imagine purposely not inviting his GF as a way to punish him for his affair. Childish and petty.

If brother's kids don't support the relationship, as an aunt, I would have their back first and foremost. Kids come first in this situation. Everyone else has to deal with the repercussions. Including brother and his girlfriend.

But the kids are not going to be there. Their relationship with their dad between them. Not for aunts and uncles to take sides and inject themselves into it. That only creates more drama and tension.

If you are bringing your side piece to my home, then it is my concern. I'm not 'injecting' myself into anything. The brother is the drama queen here.

The AP is now GF. It’s been over a year. How long does the grudge go on?

As long as it takes. Do you tell people experiencing grief to get over it, they've grieved enough? A year is not a long time.

For those actually impacted, yes, it can take time. But for those offended on behalf of others, it’s past time to move on.

An extended family is not impacted? You have some strange views on this. I wonder why.

I wonder why your so invested with the exwife. Do you fear your husband may leave you?
My parents divorced when I was a teenager. I didn’t speak to my dad for a year. Eventually I got over it. Ultimately, my sister looked up to AP as role model. I never did, but she was a good woman that stuck with my dad until he died.
You know what didn’t help? Aunts and uncles taking sides. It wasn’t their home that was destroyed. They had no idea what actually happened, but they felt a need to take sides.

I would resent my brother dictating who he can bring to my house. I currently like his wife more than him so the choice would be easy for me.

I would resent family not accepting my choices. They don’t have to like my choices, but they need to accept them.

They don't though. Just stay home and eat turkey with the GF/BF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is just his GF, official nor not. She's not his wife nor fiancee. She could be gone tomorrow.

He made his choice, and now he has to face the consequences from his family (she's not invited to family event).

You made your choice of not inviting her. Prepare to face your consequence from him.

You're not wrong, OP. Stand your ground.

She is wrong. She stated in her original post:

We always took the stance the mistress was not welcome at family functions until after his divorce was final. His divorce has been final since early summer but we still don't want the mistress around and have refused to meet her.

OP moved the line she had drawn. Probably hoped the AP would go away, but didn’t.
For the divorce to be final, well over a year has passed since he left his wife. OP needs to get over it. It wasn’t her marriage.

She can change her mind if she isn't ready. Let me guess, you're the other woman and feel there is nothing wrong with your behavior?

Love how anyone that supports the brother is automatically categorized as the OW.
I have a brother that has messed up plenty in his life, including an affair. I disagree with his actions, but at the end of the day he is and always will be my brother. I can’t imagine purposely not inviting his GF as a way to punish him for his affair. Childish and petty.

If brother's kids don't support the relationship, as an aunt, I would have their back first and foremost. Kids come first in this situation. Everyone else has to deal with the repercussions. Including brother and his girlfriend.

But the kids are not going to be there. Their relationship with their dad between them. Not for aunts and uncles to take sides and inject themselves into it. That only creates more drama and tension.

If you are bringing your side piece to my home, then it is my concern. I'm not 'injecting' myself into anything. The brother is the drama queen here.

The AP is now GF. It’s been over a year. How long does the grudge go on?

As long as it takes. Do you tell people experiencing grief to get over it, they've grieved enough? A year is not a long time.

For those actually impacted, yes, it can take time. But for those offended on behalf of others, it’s past time to move on.

An extended family is not impacted? You have some strange views on this. I wonder why.

I wonder why your so invested with the exwife. Do you fear your husband may leave you?
My parents divorced when I was a teenager. I didn’t speak to my dad for a year. Eventually I got over it. Ultimately, my sister looked up to AP as role model. I never did, but she was a good woman that stuck with my dad until he died.
You know what didn’t help? Aunts and uncles taking sides. It wasn’t their home that was destroyed. They had no idea what actually happened, but they felt a need to take sides.

I would resent my brother dictating who he can bring to my house. I currently like his wife more than him so the choice would be easy for me.

I would resent family not accepting my choices. They don’t have to like my choices, but they need to accept them.

You sound self centered.

You sound self centered. Brothers life has to be lived according to OPs wishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is just his GF, official nor not. She's not his wife nor fiancee. She could be gone tomorrow.

He made his choice, and now he has to face the consequences from his family (she's not invited to family event).

You made your choice of not inviting her. Prepare to face your consequence from him.

You're not wrong, OP. Stand your ground.

She is wrong. She stated in her original post:

We always took the stance the mistress was not welcome at family functions until after his divorce was final. His divorce has been final since early summer but we still don't want the mistress around and have refused to meet her.

OP moved the line she had drawn. Probably hoped the AP would go away, but didn’t.
For the divorce to be final, well over a year has passed since he left his wife. OP needs to get over it. It wasn’t her marriage.

She can change her mind if she isn't ready. Let me guess, you're the other woman and feel there is nothing wrong with your behavior?

Love how anyone that supports the brother is automatically categorized as the OW.
I have a brother that has messed up plenty in his life, including an affair. I disagree with his actions, but at the end of the day he is and always will be my brother. I can’t imagine purposely not inviting his GF as a way to punish him for his affair. Childish and petty.

If brother's kids don't support the relationship, as an aunt, I would have their back first and foremost. Kids come first in this situation. Everyone else has to deal with the repercussions. Including brother and his girlfriend.

But the kids are not going to be there. Their relationship with their dad between them. Not for aunts and uncles to take sides and inject themselves into it. That only creates more drama and tension.

If you are bringing your side piece to my home, then it is my concern. I'm not 'injecting' myself into anything. The brother is the drama queen here.

The AP is now GF. It’s been over a year. How long does the grudge go on?

As long as it takes. Do you tell people experiencing grief to get over it, they've grieved enough? A year is not a long time.

For those actually impacted, yes, it can take time. But for those offended on behalf of others, it’s past time to move on.

An extended family is not impacted? You have some strange views on this. I wonder why.

I wonder why your so invested with the exwife. Do you fear your husband may leave you?
My parents divorced when I was a teenager. I didn’t speak to my dad for a year. Eventually I got over it. Ultimately, my sister looked up to AP as role model. I never did, but she was a good woman that stuck with my dad until he died.
You know what didn’t help? Aunts and uncles taking sides. It wasn’t their home that was destroyed. They had no idea what actually happened, but they felt a need to take sides.

I would resent my brother dictating who he can bring to my house. I currently like his wife more than him so the choice would be easy for me.

I would resent family not accepting my choices. They don’t have to like my choices, but they need to accept them.

You sound self centered.

You sound self centered. Brothers life has to be lived according to OPs wishes.

OH right, brother is entitled to go to holiday dinner at OP's and his mom's house with his former mistress/now girlfriend because they need to accept his choices. LOL.

[Anonymous]

Too much drama.

OP needs to stop contributing to the drama. She has plenty of opportunities to act intelligently to support her nieces and nephews, but this is not one of them. She’s making everything worse.

[Anonymous]

Another sister in her brother's business and up his arse. Leave him be. Don't even invite him if you can't be civil to his girlfriend. (Sorry, babe; she's not a "mistress" or a "side piece" anymore. He is divorced and he has a girlfriend.)

Get a life, honestly. What is with you women who sniff around your brother's business all the time? And yes, I have a brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another sister in her brother's business and up his arse. Leave him be. Don't even invite him if you can't be civil to his girlfriend. (Sorry, babe; she's not a "mistress" or a "side piece" anymore. He is divorced and he has a girlfriend.)

Get a life, honestly. What is with you women who sniff around your brother's business all the time? And yes, I have a brother.

Agree. I can’t imagine being this over involved with my brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is just his GF, official nor not. She's not his wife nor fiancee. She could be gone tomorrow.

He made his choice, and now he has to face the consequences from his family (she's not invited to family event).

You made your choice of not inviting her. Prepare to face your consequence from him.

You're not wrong, OP. Stand your ground.

She is wrong. She stated in her original post:

We always took the stance the mistress was not welcome at family functions until after his divorce was final. His divorce has been final since early summer but we still don't want the mistress around and have refused to meet her.

OP moved the line she had drawn. Probably hoped the AP would go away, but didn’t.
For the divorce to be final, well over a year has passed since he left his wife. OP needs to get over it. It wasn’t her marriage.

She can change her mind if she isn't ready. Let me guess, you're the other woman and feel there is nothing wrong with your behavior?

Love how anyone that supports the brother is automatically categorized as the OW.
I have a brother that has messed up plenty in his life, including an affair. I disagree with his actions, but at the end of the day he is and always will be my brother. I can’t imagine purposely not inviting his GF as a way to punish him for his affair. Childish and petty.

If brother's kids don't support the relationship, as an aunt, I would have their back first and foremost. Kids come first in this situation. Everyone else has to deal with the repercussions. Including brother and his girlfriend.

But the kids are not going to be there. Their relationship with their dad between them. Not for aunts and uncles to take sides and inject themselves into it. That only creates more drama and tension.

If you are bringing your side piece to my home, then it is my concern. I'm not 'injecting' myself into anything. The brother is the drama queen here.

The AP is now GF. It’s been over a year. How long does the grudge go on?

As long as it takes. Do you tell people experiencing grief to get over it, they've grieved enough? A year is not a long time.

For those actually impacted, yes, it can take time. But for those offended on behalf of others, it’s past time to move on.

An extended family is not impacted? You have some strange views on this. I wonder why.

I wonder why your so invested with the exwife. Do you fear your husband may leave you?
My parents divorced when I was a teenager. I didn’t speak to my dad for a year. Eventually I got over it. Ultimately, my sister looked up to AP as role model. I never did, but she was a good woman that stuck with my dad until he died.
You know what didn’t help? Aunts and uncles taking sides. It wasn’t their home that was destroyed. They had no idea what actually happened, but they felt a need to take sides.

I would resent my brother dictating who he can bring to my house. I currently like his wife more than him so the choice would be easy for me.

I would resent family not accepting my choices. They don’t have to like my choices, but they need to accept them.

You sound self centered.

You sound self centered. Brothers life has to be lived according to OPs wishes.

OH right, brother is entitled to go to holiday dinner at OP's and his mom's house with his former mistress/now girlfriend because they need to accept his choices. LOL.

But he's in loooooveeee! Why can't anyone see that!?