Told brother to keep his girlfriend aka mistress at home for the holidays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my family, we would let her come and be faultlessly civil to her-particularly in front of the brother-but in that frosty way that lets her know that we are just being polite for the sake of keeping up appearances, and then would ruthlessly talk about her behind her back and never warm up to her.

So it’s not OK to deliberately and knowingly hurt someone by cheating on them, or by having an affair with someone you know is married, but it IS OK to hurt someone by allowing them into your house or spending time with them, but then being frosty and gossiping?

If you are a Christian or follow a religious tradition, how do you reconcile that with the teachings of your faith, or the example of Christ or the founder of your faith?

Good Christians also don't believe in divorce. Not sure why people keep bringing this up. How does the brother reconciles his broken vows? It's funny that people think the brother has done no wrong and should get full support without his messy past getting in the way. Yet the sister is being chided for not being Christian and pious enough when we know nothing of her religious beliefs. Where is your concern for brother following the example of Christ? Or his girlfriend? What kind of people do you think they are? And I think breaking up your family is worse than not feeling up to setting an extra place at your table for a home wrecker. Has she no family of her own?

[Anonymous]

Just have the scarlet letter ready to pin on her dress. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my family, we would let her come and be faultlessly civil to her-particularly in front of the brother-but in that frosty way that lets her know that we are just being polite for the sake of keeping up appearances, and then would ruthlessly talk about her behind her back and never warm up to her.

So it’s not OK to deliberately and knowingly hurt someone by cheating on them, or by having an affair with someone you know is married, but it IS OK to hurt someone by allowing them into your house or spending time with them, but then being frosty and gossiping?

If you are a Christian or follow a religious tradition, how do you reconcile that with the teachings of your faith, or the example of Christ or the founder of your faith?

Good Christians also don't believe in divorce. Not sure why people keep bringing this up. How does the brother reconciles his broken vows? It's funny that people think the brother has done no wrong and should get full support without his messy past getting in the way. Yet the sister is being chided for not being Christian and pious enough when we know nothing of her religious beliefs. Where is your concern for brother following the example of Christ? Or his girlfriend? What kind of people do you think they are? And I think breaking up your family is worse than not feeling up to setting an extra place at your table for a home wrecker. Has she no family of her own?

Well, there's "judge not" and "the log in your brother's eye", both of which I remember from my Christian upbringing. Seems to me that judging others and punishing is just not on the list. But when they leave you could say "go and sin no more", I suppose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my family, we would let her come and be faultlessly civil to her-particularly in front of the brother-but in that frosty way that lets her know that we are just being polite for the sake of keeping up appearances, and then would ruthlessly talk about her behind her back and never warm up to her.

So it’s not OK to deliberately and knowingly hurt someone by cheating on them, or by having an affair with someone you know is married, but it IS OK to hurt someone by allowing them into your house or spending time with them, but then being frosty and gossiping?

If you are a Christian or follow a religious tradition, how do you reconcile that with the teachings of your faith, or the example of Christ or the founder of your faith?

Good Christians also don't believe in divorce. Not sure why people keep bringing this up. How does the brother reconciles his broken vows? It's funny that people think the brother has done no wrong and should get full support without his messy past getting in the way. Yet the sister is being chided for not being Christian and pious enough when we know nothing of her religious beliefs. Where is your concern for brother following the example of Christ? Or his girlfriend? What kind of people do you think they are? And I think breaking up your family is worse than not feeling up to setting an extra place at your table for a home wrecker. Has she no family of her own?

OP is not married to her brother, yes? So one’s views on divorce have nothing to do with HOW YOU SHOULD TREAT OTHERS. That’s all OP can control: HOW SHE TREATS OTHERS.

If you cannot be civil to someone, you don’t invite them to your home—you don’t invite them and deliberately treat them coldly and gossip about them as the PP suggested. I’m not saying OP is obligated to invite either her brother or his girlfriend to her home. What I am saying is, if she does, she does not get a pass to deliberately treat the girlfriend unkindly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my family, we would let her come and be faultlessly civil to her-particularly in front of the brother-but in that frosty way that lets her know that we are just being polite for the sake of keeping up appearances, and then would ruthlessly talk about her behind her back and never warm up to her.

So it’s not OK to deliberately and knowingly hurt someone by cheating on them, or by having an affair with someone you know is married, but it IS OK to hurt someone by allowing them into your house or spending time with them, but then being frosty and gossiping?

If you are a Christian or follow a religious tradition, how do you reconcile that with the teachings of your faith, or the example of Christ or the founder of your faith?

Good Christians also don't believe in divorce. Not sure why people keep bringing this up. How does the brother reconciles his broken vows? It's funny that people think the brother has done no wrong and should get full support without his messy past getting in the way. Yet the sister is being chided for not being Christian and pious enough when we know nothing of her religious beliefs. Where is your concern for brother following the example of Christ? Or his girlfriend? What kind of people do you think they are? And I think breaking up your family is worse than not feeling up to setting an extra place at your table for a home wrecker. Has she no family of her own?

Well, there's "judge not" and "the log in your brother's eye", both of which I remember from my Christian upbringing. Seems to me that judging others and punishing is just not on the list. But when they leave you could say "go and sin no more", I suppose.

Why do you assume she is Christian or practicing? This is so bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my family, we would let her come and be faultlessly civil to her-particularly in front of the brother-but in that frosty way that lets her know that we are just being polite for the sake of keeping up appearances, and then would ruthlessly talk about her behind her back and never warm up to her.

So it’s not OK to deliberately and knowingly hurt someone by cheating on them, or by having an affair with someone you know is married, but it IS OK to hurt someone by allowing them into your house or spending time with them, but then being frosty and gossiping?

If you are a Christian or follow a religious tradition, how do you reconcile that with the teachings of your faith, or the example of Christ or the founder of your faith?

Good Christians also don't believe in divorce. Not sure why people keep bringing this up. How does the brother reconciles his broken vows? It's funny that people think the brother has done no wrong and should get full support without his messy past getting in the way. Yet the sister is being chided for not being Christian and pious enough when we know nothing of her religious beliefs. Where is your concern for brother following the example of Christ? Or his girlfriend? What kind of people do you think they are? And I think breaking up your family is worse than not feeling up to setting an extra place at your table for a home wrecker. Has she no family of her own?

OP is not married to her brother, yes? So one’s views on divorce have nothing to do with HOW YOU SHOULD TREAT OTHERS. That’s all OP can control: HOW SHE TREATS OTHERS.

If you cannot be civil to someone, you don’t invite them to your home—you don’t invite them and deliberately treat them coldly and gossip about them as the PP suggested. I’m not saying OP is obligated to invite either her brother or his girlfriend to her home. What I am saying is, if she does, she does not get a pass to deliberately treat the girlfriend unkindly.

OP never said she was going to do that. Where does she say that anywhere? OP simply said she wasn't invited to her brother.

[Anonymous]

Op, my dad cheated and married the mistress.
My ex cheated and we divorced.

My advice, as an ex Christian, is to ask yourself, what would Jesus do? He'd invite the sinners to dinner and be kind to them.

I hope you can get to a place where you can forgive your brother. Hate the sin, not the sinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, my dad cheated and married the mistress.
My ex cheated and we divorced.

My advice, as an ex Christian, is to ask yourself, what would Jesus do? He'd invite the sinners to dinner and be kind to them.

I hope you can get to a place where you can forgive your brother. Hate the sin, not the sinner.

What's with the holy rollers out in force today?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my family, we would let her come and be faultlessly civil to her-particularly in front of the brother-but in that frosty way that lets her know that we are just being polite for the sake of keeping up appearances, and then would ruthlessly talk about her behind her back and never warm up to her.

So it’s not OK to deliberately and knowingly hurt someone by cheating on them, or by having an affair with someone you know is married, but it IS OK to hurt someone by allowing them into your house or spending time with them, but then being frosty and gossiping?

If you are a Christian or follow a religious tradition, how do you reconcile that with the teachings of your faith, or the example of Christ or the founder of your faith?

Good Christians also don't believe in divorce. Not sure why people keep bringing this up. How does the brother reconciles his broken vows? It's funny that people think the brother has done no wrong and should get full support without his messy past getting in the way. Yet the sister is being chided for not being Christian and pious enough when we know nothing of her religious beliefs. Where is your concern for brother following the example of Christ? Or his girlfriend? What kind of people do you think they are? And I think breaking up your family is worse than not feeling up to setting an extra place at your table for a home wrecker. Has she no family of her own?

OP is not married to her brother, yes? So one’s views on divorce have nothing to do with HOW YOU SHOULD TREAT OTHERS. That’s all OP can control: HOW SHE TREATS OTHERS.

If you cannot be civil to someone, you don’t invite them to your home—you don’t invite them and deliberately treat them coldly and gossip about them as the PP suggested. I’m not saying OP is obligated to invite either her brother or his girlfriend to her home. What I am saying is, if she does, she does not get a pass to deliberately treat the girlfriend unkindly.

OP never said she was going to do that. Where does she say that anywhere? OP simply said she wasn't invited to her brother.

I WASN’T RESPONDING TO THE OP. Try to follow along. I responded to a poster who literally said (seriously, just scroll up on THIS ACTUAL PORTION OF THE THREAD):

“In my family, we would let her come and be faultlessly civil to her-particularly in front of the brother-but in that frosty way that lets her know that we are just being polite for the sake of keeping up appearances, and then would ruthlessly talk about her behind her back and never warm up to her.”

That is who I responded to. Did I go slow enough for you? You good?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my family, we would let her come and be faultlessly civil to her-particularly in front of the brother-but in that frosty way that lets her know that we are just being polite for the sake of keeping up appearances, and then would ruthlessly talk about her behind her back and never warm up to her.

So it’s not OK to deliberately and knowingly hurt someone by cheating on them, or by having an affair with someone you know is married, but it IS OK to hurt someone by allowing them into your house or spending time with them, but then being frosty and gossiping?

If you are a Christian or follow a religious tradition, how do you reconcile that with the teachings of your faith, or the example of Christ or the founder of your faith?

Good Christians also don't believe in divorce. Not sure why people keep bringing this up. How does the brother reconciles his broken vows? It's funny that people think the brother has done no wrong and should get full support without his messy past getting in the way. Yet the sister is being chided for not being Christian and pious enough when we know nothing of her religious beliefs. Where is your concern for brother following the example of Christ? Or his girlfriend? What kind of people do you think they are? And I think breaking up your family is worse than not feeling up to setting an extra place at your table for a home wrecker. Has she no family of her own?

OP is not married to her brother, yes? So one’s views on divorce have nothing to do with HOW YOU SHOULD TREAT OTHERS. That’s all OP can control: HOW SHE TREATS OTHERS.

If you cannot be civil to someone, you don’t invite them to your home—you don’t invite them and deliberately treat them coldly and gossip about them as the PP suggested. I’m not saying OP is obligated to invite either her brother or his girlfriend to her home. What I am saying is, if she does, she does not get a pass to deliberately treat the girlfriend unkindly.

OP never said she was going to do that. Where does she say that anywhere? OP simply said she wasn't invited to her brother.

I WASN’T RESPONDING TO THE OP. Try to follow along. I responded to a poster who literally said (seriously, just scroll up on THIS ACTUAL PORTION OF THE THREAD):

“In my family, we would let her come and be faultlessly civil to her-particularly in front of the brother-but in that frosty way that lets her know that we are just being polite for the sake of keeping up appearances, and then would ruthlessly talk about her behind her back and never warm up to her.”

That is who I responded to. Did I go slow enough for you? You good?

Good thing you're looking out for the poor poor whores who ruin other people's families. You're like a real Mother Theresa helping the less fortunate. God forbid someone be frosty to a ruthless home wrecker who showed zero regard for another woman. Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

I'm one of the PPs who brother did the same, and my reaction and my anger had a lot to do with how he treated his kids, who are of course my niece and nephews.

One thing that maybe folks can't see if they've never been in this situation is just how far off the rails some of these cheaters go. It's not just the affair and then a peaceful transition to the new girlfriend in a happy home.

My brother basically abandoned his kids. He left and immediately moved in with the girlfriend and there wasn't room for the kids there, so he just didn't see them. He gave up on being a parent, not just on being a partner.

I know that was his choice and not the girlfriend's, but I can't help but think that a good person wouldn't encourage their partner to abandon their children.

So, yes, I was mad at him but I was also mad at his mistress because she encouraged him to a bad parent, and I saw how much it hurt the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my family, we would let her come and be faultlessly civil to her-particularly in front of the brother-but in that frosty way that lets her know that we are just being polite for the sake of keeping up appearances, and then would ruthlessly talk about her behind her back and never warm up to her.

So it’s not OK to deliberately and knowingly hurt someone by cheating on them, or by having an affair with someone you know is married, but it IS OK to hurt someone by allowing them into your house or spending time with them, but then being frosty and gossiping?

If you are a Christian or follow a religious tradition, how do you reconcile that with the teachings of your faith, or the example of Christ or the founder of your faith?

Good Christians also don't believe in divorce. Not sure why people keep bringing this up. How does the brother reconciles his broken vows? It's funny that people think the brother has done no wrong and should get full support without his messy past getting in the way. Yet the sister is being chided for not being Christian and pious enough when we know nothing of her religious beliefs. Where is your concern for brother following the example of Christ? Or his girlfriend? What kind of people do you think they are? And I think breaking up your family is worse than not feeling up to setting an extra place at your table for a home wrecker. Has she no family of her own?

OP is not married to her brother, yes? So one’s views on divorce have nothing to do with HOW YOU SHOULD TREAT OTHERS. That’s all OP can control: HOW SHE TREATS OTHERS.

If you cannot be civil to someone, you don’t invite them to your home—you don’t invite them and deliberately treat them coldly and gossip about them as the PP suggested. I’m not saying OP is obligated to invite either her brother or his girlfriend to her home. What I am saying is, if she does, she does not get a pass to deliberately treat the girlfriend unkindly.

OP never said she was going to do that. Where does she say that anywhere? OP simply said she wasn't invited to her brother.

I WASN’T RESPONDING TO THE OP. Try to follow along. I responded to a poster who literally said (seriously, just scroll up on THIS ACTUAL PORTION OF THE THREAD):

“In my family, we would let her come and be faultlessly civil to her-particularly in front of the brother-but in that frosty way that lets her know that we are just being polite for the sake of keeping up appearances, and then would ruthlessly talk about her behind her back and never warm up to her.”

That is who I responded to. Did I go slow enough for you? You good?

Good thing you're looking out for the poor poor whores who ruin other people's families. You're like a real Mother Theresa helping the less fortunate. God forbid someone be frosty to a ruthless home wrecker who showed zero regard for another woman. Get over yourself.

What would Jesus do? He would literally sit down and dine with prostitutes, and comfort them when they were shunned. If you don’t get that, you know nothing of Jesus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, my dad cheated and married the mistress.
My ex cheated and we divorced.

My advice, as an ex Christian, is to ask yourself, what would Jesus do? He'd invite the sinners to dinner and be kind to them.

I hope you can get to a place where you can forgive your brother. Hate the sin, not the sinner.

What's with the holy rollers out in force today?

I’m actually no longer Christian but when considering a moral quandry, I find his examples helpful.

I’m actually a witch. Seriously. I do spells. But I don’t cheat or have sex with cheaters. I do treat them kindly however.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my family, we would let her come and be faultlessly civil to her-particularly in front of the brother-but in that frosty way that lets her know that we are just being polite for the sake of keeping up appearances, and then would ruthlessly talk about her behind her back and never warm up to her.

So it’s not OK to deliberately and knowingly hurt someone by cheating on them, or by having an affair with someone you know is married, but it IS OK to hurt someone by allowing them into your house or spending time with them, but then being frosty and gossiping?

If you are a Christian or follow a religious tradition, how do you reconcile that with the teachings of your faith, or the example of Christ or the founder of your faith?

Good Christians also don't believe in divorce. Not sure why people keep bringing this up. How does the brother reconciles his broken vows? It's funny that people think the brother has done no wrong and should get full support without his messy past getting in the way. Yet the sister is being chided for not being Christian and pious enough when we know nothing of her religious beliefs. Where is your concern for brother following the example of Christ? Or his girlfriend? What kind of people do you think they are? And I think breaking up your family is worse than not feeling up to setting an extra place at your table for a home wrecker. Has she no family of her own?

OP is not married to her brother, yes? So one’s views on divorce have nothing to do with HOW YOU SHOULD TREAT OTHERS. That’s all OP can control: HOW SHE TREATS OTHERS.

If you cannot be civil to someone, you don’t invite them to your home—you don’t invite them and deliberately treat them coldly and gossip about them as the PP suggested. I’m not saying OP is obligated to invite either her brother or his girlfriend to her home. What I am saying is, if she does, she does not get a pass to deliberately treat the girlfriend unkindly.

OP never said she was going to do that. Where does she say that anywhere? OP simply said she wasn't invited to her brother.

I WASN’T RESPONDING TO THE OP. Try to follow along. I responded to a poster who literally said (seriously, just scroll up on THIS ACTUAL PORTION OF THE THREAD):

“In my family, we would let her come and be faultlessly civil to her-particularly in front of the brother-but in that frosty way that lets her know that we are just being polite for the sake of keeping up appearances, and then would ruthlessly talk about her behind her back and never warm up to her.”

That is who I responded to. Did I go slow enough for you? You good?

Good thing you're looking out for the poor poor whores who ruin other people's families. You're like a real Mother Theresa helping the less fortunate. God forbid someone be frosty to a ruthless home wrecker who showed zero regard for another woman. Get over yourself.

What would Jesus do? He would literally sit down and dine with prostitutes, and comfort them when they were shunned. If you don’t get that, you know nothing of Jesus.

WWJD, is that the best you can do? She could be an atheist for all you know. But keep on trying to convince people like you aren't low class trash. Only a home wrecker like yourself would spend this much time going to bat for the other woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my family, we would let her come and be faultlessly civil to her-particularly in front of the brother-but in that frosty way that lets her know that we are just being polite for the sake of keeping up appearances, and then would ruthlessly talk about her behind her back and never warm up to her.

So it’s not OK to deliberately and knowingly hurt someone by cheating on them, or by having an affair with someone you know is married, but it IS OK to hurt someone by allowing them into your house or spending time with them, but then being frosty and gossiping?

If you are a Christian or follow a religious tradition, how do you reconcile that with the teachings of your faith, or the example of Christ or the founder of your faith?

Good Christians also don't believe in divorce. Not sure why people keep bringing this up. How does the brother reconciles his broken vows? It's funny that people think the brother has done no wrong and should get full support without his messy past getting in the way. Yet the sister is being chided for not being Christian and pious enough when we know nothing of her religious beliefs. Where is your concern for brother following the example of Christ? Or his girlfriend? What kind of people do you think they are? And I think breaking up your family is worse than not feeling up to setting an extra place at your table for a home wrecker. Has she no family of her own?

OP is not married to her brother, yes? So one’s views on divorce have nothing to do with HOW YOU SHOULD TREAT OTHERS. That’s all OP can control: HOW SHE TREATS OTHERS.

If you cannot be civil to someone, you don’t invite them to your home—you don’t invite them and deliberately treat them coldly and gossip about them as the PP suggested. I’m not saying OP is obligated to invite either her brother or his girlfriend to her home. What I am saying is, if she does, she does not get a pass to deliberately treat the girlfriend unkindly.

OP never said she was going to do that. Where does she say that anywhere? OP simply said she wasn't invited to her brother.

I WASN’T RESPONDING TO THE OP. Try to follow along. I responded to a poster who literally said (seriously, just scroll up on THIS ACTUAL PORTION OF THE THREAD):

“In my family, we would let her come and be faultlessly civil to her-particularly in front of the brother-but in that frosty way that lets her know that we are just being polite for the sake of keeping up appearances, and then would ruthlessly talk about her behind her back and never warm up to her.”

That is who I responded to. Did I go slow enough for you? You good?

Good thing you're looking out for the poor poor whores who ruin other people's families. You're like a real Mother Theresa helping the less fortunate. God forbid someone be frosty to a ruthless home wrecker who showed zero regard for another woman. Get over yourself.

What would Jesus do? He would literally sit down and dine with prostitutes, and comfort them when they were shunned. If you don’t get that, you know nothing of Jesus.

WWJD, is that the best you can do? She could be an atheist for all you know. But keep on trying to convince people like you aren't low class trash. Only a home wrecker like yourself would spend this much time going to bat for the other woman.

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