Primping for DH- is this abnormal??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not weird, OP. I would want to look respectable for any non-child who I’m going to see. Of course, you don’t NEED to do it, but it’s nice to have someone you want to come home to you, and someone who’s happy to be there.

OP here. Yes, it’s not that I always have to look perfect, just that I enjoy looking good. He sees me in sweats and an old t often enough so I like to make an effort, also.

Definitely a man.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

I posted several pages back and again am surprised at how many people are calling what you do (OP) old-fashioned or anti-feminist.

Going to work? Make sure you look put together.
Going out to dinner? Make sure you look put together.
Meeting girlfriends? Going shopping? Going to a show? Make sure you look put together.

Seeing your husband? DRESS HOWEVER YOU WANT AND DONT CARE ABOUT HOW YOU LOOK if you do you’re subservient stop dressing for the male gaze

Lmao. This site.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s weird haha im a millennial so maybe it’s a generational thing.
Are you only doing it for your husband? Or is it a self care prep to be with adults kind of a thing? What if you have a crappy day do you still feel the need to do it?

OP here I’m 32 so I don’t really think it’s generational. If I was going out to run errands and not in a hurry or meeting with another adult I’d probably get ready in the same way. If I was feeling really sick I wouldn’t do it and there are of course times when I don’t have the time and I don’t give it any thought. The whole “freshening up” process probably takes 2 min so it’s not that involved.

You would do this: "maybe changing into something a little more comfortable but more revealing than my daytime outfit (short shorts, cropped tank, low cut v neck etc)" when meeting with another adult?

OP already said upthread that she isn’t wearing all of this at once. Sure, if I look down and am wearing gross sweats I might throw on a pair of leggings before I see DH. If I was going out to meet with another adult I’d likely choose jeans but at home with my DH I prefer yoga clothes that are comfortable but still attractive.

[Anonymous]

OP I'm 40, married 11 years with 4 kids, and I don't do this but I think I will start. I'm happy to look nice for my husband and I think that he would appreciate it.

If you're happy and your DH is happy, keep doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s weird. Your DH doesn’t freshen up for you.

You don't know that. At all.

I comb my hair, and pop a mint before I get home to see DW. Make sure my dress shirt is tucked properly, etc. I want to look good for her. I want her to stay attracted to me.

And not gonna lie, sometimes, on the weekends, if we're going casual (just in a t-shirt), I'll bang out 100 push-ups to try to get a little pump to look better in the shirt.

This is really sweet. I think it’s nice for spouses to make an effort to impress each other.

[Anonymous]

A long-forgotten song from the late 1960s is applicable here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a sahm. I obviously get ready in the morning (simple hair, light makeup, casual clothes) but I also do a little refresh before DH comes home. Usually this is just brushing hair, touching up makeup and maybe changing into something a little more comfortable but more revealing than my daytime outfit (short shorts, cropped tank, low cut v neck etc). I do not feel any pressure or expectations from DH regarding any of this.

Anyway, I was talking to a few friends and it was brought up that I did this. They pressed for details and thought the whole thing was totally weird and silly, especially considering that DH sees me au natural at night and in the morning. I didn’t think this was a strange thing to do but my friends completely roasted me. What do you think dcum? Do you do this? Is this strange?

My mom always put on lipstick before my dad came home. I thought it was quaint. My LH wasn't into makeup, but when I am dating someone I make sure to look good when I see them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. Just to be clear, I do this and didn’t think it was odd until my friends called me out saying it was weird. I absolutely do not think every woman should be doing this or that a woman can’t be sexy and attractive without primping.

And like I asked you way back on page 1 when I thought you actually may be a real poster and not an incel trying to stir up shit if you like doing it who the hell cares if anyone thinks it's weird?

If we all told you it was weird, would you stop doing it?

I am really, really not an incel. This truly was just a thread asking a question out of curiosity; is what I’m doing fairly normal or uncommon. It seems like it’s somewhat uncommon, although a few posters do also get ready to see other adults, including their DH. I can see how this could turn into a discussion on the unrealistic expectations men have of women (esp given all of the toxic messaging women get about “snapping back” after pregnancy and “letting themselves go”) but it was not my intention to do this at all. My DH has seen me at my physical best and worst and everything in between and has always loved and doted on me. Personally, I get ready for him because, as a sahm with young kids, it makes me feel sexy and put together after a long day of being a tired mom. I’m sure plenty of women wouldn’t want to do this and that’s completely up to them to do what makes them happy.

I get this, esp during the pandemic. Sometimes I wear heels to the grocery store because I need to practice walking in them now that I am not wearing them to the office, etc. Other women give me dirty looks, though. I am just doing it for my own fun.

[Anonymous]

How old are the kids? I do think it’s weird that you get skimpy presumably before dinner. Do you have girls?

[Anonymous]

I refresh - comb hair, powder my nose, a little blush - before my dh comes home. I woh but I get home before him. 26 years married. I don’t care what anyone thinks - I do it for me. Not sure he notices!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids? I do think it’s weird that you get skimpy presumably before dinner. Do you have girls?

OP here- I think people may be getting the wrong impression from what I wrote initially. I like to change into comfortable but flattering loungewear at the end of the day. I would not characterize what I’m wearing as skimpy.. What I wear is similar to what women might wear to a yoga class or workout. Like another poster said, I don’t think leggings and a longline bra top is inappropriate to wear at home, personally.

Kids are 4, 2, and 6 months. I don’t think they are offended by wearing leggings as pants at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s weird. Your DH doesn’t freshen up for you.

You don't know that. At all.

I comb my hair, and pop a mint before I get home to see DW. Make sure my dress shirt is tucked properly, etc. I want to look good for her. I want her to stay attracted to me.

And not gonna lie, sometimes, on the weekends, if we're going casual (just in a t-shirt), I'll bang out 100 push-ups to try to get a little pump to look better in the shirt.

This is really sweet. I think it’s nice for spouses to make an effort to impress each other.

OP here. +1.

I think it’s nice to make the effort if that’s something you like doing for your wife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s weird. Your DH doesn’t freshen up for you.

You don't know that. At all.

I comb my hair, and pop a mint before I get home to see DW. Make sure my dress shirt is tucked properly, etc. I want to look good for her. I want her to stay attracted to me.

And not gonna lie, sometimes, on the weekends, if we're going casual (just in a t-shirt), I'll bang out 100 push-ups to try to get a little pump to look better in the shirt.

This is really sweet. I think it’s nice for spouses to make an effort to impress each other.

OP here. +1.

I think it’s nice to make the effort if that’s something you like doing for your wife

Man here, +1. My DW likes the undercarriage to be clean, if you know what I mean. So I make a point of doing that. There's nothing wrong about doing small things to please your spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids? I do think it’s weird that you get skimpy presumably before dinner. Do you have girls?

OP here- I think people may be getting the wrong impression from what I wrote initially. I like to change into comfortable but flattering loungewear at the end of the day. I would not characterize what I’m wearing as skimpy.. What I wear is similar to what women might wear to a yoga class or workout. Like another poster said, I don’t think leggings and a longline bra top is inappropriate to wear at home, personally.

Kids are 4, 2, and 6 months. I don’t think they are offended by wearing leggings as pants at home.

You are on dcum, OP. People here are scandalized by leggings. I also choose clothing that is perfectly appropriate but that DH might find sexy. Fine if you want to wear a shapeless sack but your kids won’t be scarred by you changing out of sweatpants and an oversized t shirt once in a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids? I do think it’s weird that you get skimpy presumably before dinner. Do you have girls?

OP here- I think people may be getting the wrong impression from what I wrote initially. I like to change into comfortable but flattering loungewear at the end of the day. I would not characterize what I’m wearing as skimpy.. What I wear is similar to what women might wear to a yoga class or workout. Like another poster said, I don’t think leggings and a longline bra top is inappropriate to wear at home, personally.

Kids are 4, 2, and 6 months. I don’t think they are offended by wearing leggings as pants at home.

You are on dcum, OP. People here are scandalized by leggings. I also choose clothing that is perfectly appropriate but that DH might find sexy. Fine if you want to wear a shapeless sack but your kids won’t be scarred by you changing out of sweatpants and an oversized t shirt once in a while.

Kids won't be scandalized, but it may make DH want to have sex which DCUM regulars know is obviously gross, oppressive, and inconvenient.