Teenagers buying each other pricey gifts bothers me

[Anonymous]

Just reading the post from the mom complaining about the water bottle (assuming this was one of the new trendy ones that are $50+). Why do kids need to buy gifts at all for SO?

My dc is 17 and spending a lot on his gf. Dinners, gifts, sent her home in Ubers a few times. She seems to expect it. He doesn’t have a job right now so he’s using saved money. I find this materialism really unappealing in teens. Am I naive?

Older ds had a girlfriend in high school but they had cheap, free dates. Cooked at home, made each other sweet creative gifts. I wish my other dc was like this.

[Anonymous]

You or even better his dad need to have a talk with him about how courtship in birds and animals work but how humans don’t necessarily get to the ultimate goal of courtship so they should be realistic and maybe even frugal.
In short he’ll be taken advantage of and left high and dry if he goes on like this.

[Anonymous]

Why is he paying for her Ubers? In ten years will he be paying his girlfriend’s grocery bill or rent? All this probably makes him feel manly and he thinks it’s a form of caretaking, but dipping into savings to live beyond your present means is always a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

You and your child’s father should have a talk w him on that.

[Anonymous]

Dad can't tell him this but you can.

Tell him that if he's not getting sex he's wasting his money.

[Anonymous]

Lol. So if he's getting sex he has to pay for it? What does that say about him?

[Anonymous]

Your title is misleading. This isn’t about teenagers buying each other pricey gifts. Is about your son buying pricey gifts for his girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

I agree. If they have money to spend like that, it should be going into their college fund.

[Anonymous]

It’s his money. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s his money. Let it go.

+1

[Anonymous]

I'm uncomfortable with the amount my son's girlfriend spends on him. She is from a much more well off family than we are (and we are UMC). He does nice things for her but in no way is it economically even.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just reading the post from the mom complaining about the water bottle (assuming this was one of the new trendy ones that are $50+). Why do kids need to buy gifts at all for SO?

My dc is 17 and spending a lot on his gf. Dinners, gifts, sent her home in Ubers a few times. She seems to expect it. He doesn’t have a job right now so he’s using saved money. I find this materialism really unappealing in teens. Am I naive?

Older ds had a girlfriend in high school but they had cheap, free dates. Cooked at home, made each other sweet creative gifts. I wish my other dc was like this.

You set this up and allow it. You need to address it.

[Anonymous]

I think he should pay for her Uber and pay for dinners he can afford. That doesn’t mean that she can’t treat him to a dinner or lunch. She could say that she appreciates what he does but she wants to plan a night out and pay sometimes too.

Let him know he should keep gifts to special occasions or they lose their meaning.

My oldest daughter is in NYC and guys pay for Ubers. If they don’t it leaves a bad impression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dad can't tell him this but you can.

Tell him that if he's not getting sex he's wasting his money.

He’s getting sex but that’s really not the issue. Gross to make it the issue

[Anonymous]

This isn't "buying each other gifts". This is unidirectionally. Huge difference.