Bethesda Soccer On Way Down

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both of SC’s younger teams had the option to get a new coach this year and they requested to keep him. That’s a fact and anything else you hear here is self serving indignation.

Yes, he is too much at times and no, he’s not for everybody. Nothing he says or does is unusual in youth soccer coaching, I’ve seen the same type of coach on the sidelines numerous times over the years. Doesn’t mean it’s ok, just in line with old school culture.

Those who don’t find him a good fit for their child, have left and are complaining on this blog. The rest are staying and want to continue to work with him instead of someone else.

Attending practice and games is the only way to see and decide if this coach is good for your child, everything else on here is garbage.

+1. I was around him for 2 years and nothing he does is different than what hordes of coaches in multiple sports have done forever. Only difference is that he’s coaching girls, and some people seem to think girls should be treated more gently than boys. The girls and parents who don’t like his approach leave, the rest stay and learn from him. He’s had his 2008s for four years I believe and many of those girls could play anywhere; why would they stay if he’s such a terrible coach, and who would know better than them? Don’t tell me it’s because there’s no other option in MoCO, because at that point in their youth soccer journey those kids are committing a lot more than a long commute. Perfectly fine if he’s not your cup of tea, but no need for you to decide for others.

I agree with you, in part, but I think you’re missing that some of the things he has said and done to 10-13 year olds the past two years, you haven’t directly seen. Maybe it is relevant to people to know he told u12 girls last year they’re a disgrace to themselves and their parents? 5th and 6th graders! Or that he was so out of line in St. Louis that people not affiliated with the club were concerned? Just watching a practice or game doesn’t show you that.

Nobody is deciding for others. But facts are facts. Just cause many 08s tolerated it—and had success—that’s fine for you but it doesn’t mean there haven’t been things that have happened that are relevant for others. Prospective players should do their diligence. Sure this is an anonymous message board. This shouldn’t be your only source. Ask around, try to get good intel. If after all that you are ok with it for your daughter, then that’s fine and your decision. That’s the part I agree with.

Going to one game or practice with SC may give you a glimpse, but it would be a very unwise decision to make simply off of that. I don’t think it’s good advice at all for prospective player parents to ignore all you hear and just focus on the tiny window you see. It’s like the posters who say we played against him once and he wasn’t so bad. These coaches spend hundreds/thousands of hours around the kids. One hour barely tells you anything, especially with some so erratic and temperamental.

Sure, some stuff you hear may be exaggerated or rumors. But there’s a lot of truth and if you do your homework, you can do your own assessment of what’s fifth-hand rumors and what’s not.

The reality is that most of the time these coaches are the same as what you'll see in that practice or game you visit. That is the daily experience and why their teams like them. The meltdowns do happen but they tend to be separate incidents. Some of the anecdotes shared here are true, others are twisted and exaggerated and I've seen some totally made up. These coaches have bad days, and some very bad days, it's the degree of tolerance for that ends up being the deciding factor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s, frankly, sad if you think it’s normal to have a random ECNL coach express concern for the players well being based on what he saw and heard (St. Louis), tell 11/12 year old girls they’re pathetic and a disgrace to themselves and their families, scream at little girls to get off the field if they’re not playing to his standard, and on and on.

This is everything that’s wrong with youth sports and shouldn’t be normalized or tolerated. Obviously some people like you do or he wouldn’t be still be there.

This. While its true that people should do what’s best for them and their kids, its also true that some things simply are not okay. SC and others like him should not be around young boys and girls.

[Anonymous]

Yeah well he must be good . SC gets results. That’s what most people say. Yes
he might yell at your DD, but he makes them better players. Granted a few girls have left because of him but clearly other parents value his coaching . BSC clearly loves him if he continues to coach young girls and can build winning teams . So clearly Bethesda isn’t on its way down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah well he must be good . SC gets results. That’s what most people say. Yes
he might yell at your DD, but he makes them better players. Granted a few girls have left because of him but clearly other parents value his coaching . BSC clearly loves him if he continues to coach young girls and can build winning teams . So clearly Bethesda isn’t on its way down.

Bobby Knight was considered a great coach by many. At some point, most involved had to weight the cost-benefit. Tough coaching is often productive, and I want my kid to be coached hard. But this isn't the 1980's - like it or not. Just know what you're getting into and be willing to live with it. It will work for some kids and not for others. End of discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah well he must be good . SC gets results. That’s what most people say. Yes
he might yell at your DD, but he makes them better players. Granted a few girls have left because of him but clearly other parents value his coaching . BSC clearly loves him if he continues to coach young girls and can build winning teams . So clearly Bethesda isn’t on its way down.

Coaching boys is different than coaching girls. They must be treated differently. This is a fact. Anyone who tells you different is lying or doesn't know what they are talking about.

Go ahead parents. Send your tween or teen to a coach who yells, screams and berates them constantly. Be prepared to deal with mental health problems, body image/anorexia/bulimia issues, and heaven forbid them taking their own lives at some point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah well he must be good . SC gets results. That’s what most people say. Yes
he might yell at your DD, but he makes them better players. Granted a few girls have left because of him but clearly other parents value his coaching . BSC clearly loves him if he continues to coach young girls and can build winning teams . So clearly Bethesda isn’t on its way down.

Bobby Knight was considered a great coach by many. At some point, most involved had to weight the cost-benefit. Tough coaching is often productive, and I want my kid to be coached hard. But this isn't the 1980's - like it or not. Just know what you're getting into and be willing to live with it. It will work for some kids and not for others. End of discussion.

I wonder if kids are really better off today than they were in the 80s. Suspect not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah well he must be good . SC gets results. That’s what most people say. Yes
he might yell at your DD, but he makes them better players. Granted a few girls have left because of him but clearly other parents value his coaching . BSC clearly loves him if he continues to coach young girls and can build winning teams . So clearly Bethesda isn’t on its way down.

Coaching boys is different than coaching girls. They must be treated differently. This is a fact. Anyone who tells you different is lying or doesn't know what they are talking about.

Go ahead parents. Send your tween or teen to a coach who yells, screams and berates them constantly. Be prepared to deal with mental health problems, body image/anorexia/bulimia issues, and heaven forbid them taking their own lives at some point.

Ok straight talk.
If your daughter is this emotionally and mentally fragile she never could have played top level soccer. Better to learn it now and get out!! She never could have had the fortitude to make it. She may not even be able to handle to regular stressors of life. So sorry your daughter became suicidal or bulimic from this coach which is what you’re awkwardly implying. Hope she gets better. It’s too much for some!

[Anonymous]

Agree coaching boys is different from coaching girls on the whole. Are there kids who are exceptions, sure I was one of them. However, my daughter is not me - she is sensitive and takes things personally. I have watched a different coach in another club destroy her confidence over the past year so we leaving as are a number of others. She doesn’t need to be coddled, she does another sport and the coach isn’t soft on the kids - but they do feel supported.

My H coaches boys and girls in two different sports. He figured out within the first couple of practices they were different. Good coaches meet the kids where they are at and learn over time what helps them succeed. That’s what good leaders do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree coaching boys is different from coaching girls on the whole. Are there kids who are exceptions, sure I was one of them. However, my daughter is not me - she is sensitive and takes things personally. I have watched a different coach in another club destroy her confidence over the past year so we leaving as are a number of others. She doesn’t need to be coddled, she does another sport and the coach isn’t soft on the kids - but they do feel supported.

My H coaches boys and girls in two different sports. He figured out within the first couple of practices they were different. Good coaches meet the kids where they are at and learn over time what helps them succeed. That’s what good leaders do.

News alert: boys and girls are different, boys are different from other boys, and girls are different from other girls. My DD plays for a very tough coach who reminds me of my highschool football coach in Texas. Mean SOB, or at least he pretends to be on the field. She probably couldn’t have played for him two or three years ago, but she’s an extremely confident player now and went out of her way to play for him this season, with full knowledge of his style (including by her talking to girls a year ahead of her who played for him last year, and me talking to some of their parents). She understands that his volume, tone, and words are intended to motivate her, and she uses them in that way. Like anyone, she might develop emotional issues at some point in her life, but it will be despite what this coach has done for her emotional health, not because of it. Her younger brother, on the other hand, would melt in a minute under this coach. Maybe that will change in time, maybe it won’t. But I really don’t understand why some people who don’t know the first thing about my kids and don’t actually know the coaches who get talked about here feel like they are more qualified than my kids or me to decide what is best for them. I guess it takes a village.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah well he must be good . SC gets results. That’s what most people say. Yes
he might yell at your DD, but he makes them better players. Granted a few girls have left because of him but clearly other parents value his coaching . BSC clearly loves him if he continues to coach young girls and can build winning teams . So clearly Bethesda isn’t on its way down.

Coaching boys is different than coaching girls. They must be treated differently. This is a fact. Anyone who tells you different is lying or doesn't know what they are talking about.

Go ahead parents. Send your tween or teen to a coach who yells, screams and berates them constantly. Be prepared to deal with mental health problems, body image/anorexia/bulimia issues, and heaven forbid them taking their own lives at some point.

Ok straight talk.
If your daughter is this emotionally and mentally fragile she never could have played top level soccer. Better to learn it now and get out!! She never could have had the fortitude to make it. She may not even be able to handle to regular stressors of life. So sorry your daughter became suicidal or bulimic from this coach which is what you’re awkwardly implying. Hope she gets better. It’s too much for some!

Just wow
Keep your straight talk

[Anonymous]

Any tea on why the 2012 BSC-Pipeline game ended in a forfeit (to Pipeline's benefit?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any tea on why the 2012 BSC-Pipeline game ended in a forfeit (to Pipeline's benefit?)

"Unfortunate technicality raised" is what their instagram says

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any tea on why the 2012 BSC-Pipeline game ended in a forfeit (to Pipeline's benefit?)

"Unfortunate technicality raised" is what their instagram says

Well now I really need to know what happened

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any tea on why the 2012 BSC-Pipeline game ended in a forfeit (to Pipeline's benefit?)

"Unfortunate technicality raised" is what their instagram says

Well now I really need to know what happened

Same girl, same.
You put on your instagram, it's fair for DCUM to discuss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah well he must be good . SC gets results. That’s what most people say. Yes
he might yell at your DD, but he makes them better players. Granted a few girls have left because of him but clearly other parents value his coaching . BSC clearly loves him if he continues to coach young girls and can build winning teams . So clearly Bethesda isn’t on its way down.

Coaching boys is different than coaching girls. They must be treated differently. This is a fact. Anyone who tells you different is lying or doesn't know what they are talking about.

Go ahead parents. Send your tween or teen to a coach who yells, screams and berates them constantly. Be prepared to deal with mental health problems, body image/anorexia/bulimia issues, and heaven forbid them taking their own lives at some point.

Ok straight talk.
If your daughter is this emotionally and mentally fragile she never could have played top level soccer. Better to learn it now and get out!! She never could have had the fortitude to make it. She may not even be able to handle to regular stressors of life. So sorry your daughter became suicidal or bulimic from this coach which is what you’re awkwardly implying. Hope she gets better. It’s too much for some!

DP. You sound toxic. And ignorant. You really think that girls should learn to tolerate abuse? GTFO. I remember a coach who routinely yelled at my team as a HS senior (school coach) and it was scary and demoralizing at that age. And I’m now a very capable adult who can handle conflict productively. Yelling at children is a sign of a weak and incompetent adult. And parents like you who condone it are even worse. You’re pathetic.