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I'm wondering how others would have handled this situation:
Yesterday I popped in to my local convenience store to get coffee on the way to work. As I was leaving, the white man in line behind me had a disagreement with an Asian woman behind the counter and became verbally aggressive ("You people should just go back where you came from" and similar comments on and on). I felt the need to speak up, so I addressed the man with "OK, you've made your point, time to let it go." I wanted to offer some support for the employee, but I didn't want to further escalate the situation. He did lower his voice and just muttered under his breath. I left at that point. I kept thinking about it all day, though, and wondering if there was something more I could have done. |
| You were way too nice and I actually think you said the wrong thing. Made your point? As if there was a point to be made. What you should have said is "leave the woman alone you racist POS." I have no patience for fragile white boys who don't know how to behave in public. |
The made your point might have referenced something else in the argument. I doubt the OP thinks that he made his point that the lady should go back. |
Fair enough, but there is no further point to be made after you start throwing racial insults and threats. |
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That was nice of you to saying something, OP.
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| There is nothing you can do. We do have freedom of speech in this country. The guy can't be arrested for what he said. You nor anyone else can beat him up. There have been racial slurs thrown at people in America since the 1600s, there is no novel way to approach that has yet to be found. |
| Should’ve kept your mouth shut. |
Agreed. In so many uncomfortable situations people just don't say anything because they don't know the "right" thing to say. You learn in bystander intervention training that the first priority is safety - I think it's good you didn't say anything to hostile or combative, even if deserved, because who knows how unhinged/unsafe that guy might be. It is like arguing with someone on the internet- you are not going to change his mind but only risk causing him to dig his heels in further. But you noticed harassing behavior, intervened on the affected party's behalf in a calm and safe way, and provided support for the person targeted by his comments. I would say you did well. |
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^ If it is still sitting uncomfortably with you, I would call the manager and just say what you witnessed, in case the employee is uncomfortable sharing. They can then take any further steps they deem appropriate.
And no, free speech does not mean you can spout whatever you want without any consequences. It is perfectly legal to shame someone, refuse to serve them at your business, etc., because of racist comments. |
| Why did you bother getting involved? Mistake number 1. |
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OP here, and I assure you I am not a troll.
Thanks for the feedback. Yes, him making his point was in regard to how the interaction started-- a disagreement between two people that had nothing to do with me. Once it escalated to verbal attack I felt compelled to at least try to intervene. |
+10000000 |
| Not OP, For all of you saying it’s a troll post, have none of you ever ran across a racist hothead before? I mean it’s not super common but it does happen. I got the N word thrown at me in a road rage incident when I was a teen. Certainly not an every day occurrence, but there are people who exist who behave like this. |
| I'm glad you said something. These people need to be called on their bullsh*t. |
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You did fine.
Verbiage could have been different. "What you have said is wrong and hateful. Why are you like this?" |