Best way to change the rules regarding boys in the bedroom.
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Anonymous
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DD is 18 and will be a senior this fall. She’s had the same boy best friend since sophomore year. They’ve always been completely platonic.
In the past I’ve let this boy hang out in DD’s bedroom, even with the door closed. It’s never been a problem. The boy has been out of town for the summer but they keep in touch through calls and texting. Lately ive had an inkling that they might be developing feelings for each other. I wouldn’t be surprised if they start dating when he returns this fall. If they start dating I definitely don’t want him in DD’s bedroom, but I don’t know exactly how to present this to her. I don’t feel comfortable telling her that I think she might start dating her friend. I don’t want to push her in that direction. How should I proceed? |
Anonymous
| It’s crazy to me that you let them hang out in the bedroom with the door closed. I don’t care if their friendship is “platonic” or not. |
Anonymous
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She's 18. It's a bit too late to change the permissive situation you allowed. And you shouldn't ask about her personal life before they start dating.
Unless they don't go anywhere besides school and your house, you cannot control what you want to control. At best, if they start dating, ask her to leave the door open. Kids will get into mischief anywhere on your property that's not in open view. |
Anonymous
| You think they are just platonic. I played this card in HS and as soon as I was out of parental vision, we were on each other like monkeys. |
Anonymous
This. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| I mean she’s 18, this guy is clearly an important part of her life, what’s your actual goal in saying he’s not allowed in her room? I’d be way more pleased that my young adult dd might be getting into a relationship with someone who she had a solid friendship with than trying to prevent them from being together. |
Anonymous
| No need to change anything IMO. If they start dating, ask her to please leave the door open and that’s it |
Anonymous
| You created this, you don’t get to go back. |
Anonymous
Agree. Hopefully she is on birth control. If not, do this before he gets home |
Anonymous
I mean she’s 18. No one has a say in her sex life at this point. It’s the parent house, but she’s entitled to some privacy. Let her close the door if she wants to. It’s kind of ridiculous to ask for the door open, do you do that to guests in your house as well? Ask her for an open door all the time to prevent masturbation? What’s the goal here? If you think they won’t have sex because you ask for an open door, that’s naive to say the least. If you’re you bothered at the thought they’ll have sex in your house, then you need to work on yourself. |
Anonymous
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Y'all are hilarious. They can close the door at gonat it like rabbits but only if they aren't "dating"?
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Anonymous
Likely they already did it. Mom should be less nosy and butt out. She’s crossing into being creepy. |
Anonymous
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If you want you want to implement this rule, just let her know the rule is no romantic interests behind closed doors. This will include the boy friend if he becomes a boyfriend and any girlfriends if she later decides she’s bi.
Or you could ask her to be respectful of your house and trust that she can navigate that. |
Anonymous
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My DD is only 13 and not dating but we have a no closed door rule in my house already unless theyre in a group.
I don’t think it’s needed yet but I feel like start it now so it’s not weird later. |