If you punish your kid by not letting them attend a play date or birthday party, does it hurt the other kid more?
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Anonymous
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Someone said this to me when I had my oldest 16 years ago (I have two younger kids now) and it’s stuck with me over the years and I’ve tried not to ever take away an opportunity that involves another child. DH has always disagreed over the years but I have always felt it makes the other kid feel sad because now they have no one to play with and we’re looking forward to your kid coming over.
Is that right? Give me more perspective. |
Anonymous
| Yes is incredibly rude to the host. |
Anonymous
| Yes, it's not fair to also punish the birthday child. If your kid was a total A hole at the party, fine, take him and leave, but you don't rsvp yes to a party and then not let your kid go as punishment. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| There are so many ways to "punish" your kid that I don't see the need to take away a one-on-one playdate event. Multiple kid playdates or birthday parties? I think those are fine to take away, but I probably wouldn't take away a best friend's birthday party. |
Anonymous
| It's very rude to cancel on another child or family just because yours misbehaved. There are so many other ways of giving out consequences. |
Anonymous
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Why does it matter whether it hurts your kid or the other “more?”
It hurts an innocent kid. That’s a great reason to find another consequence for your kid. |
Anonymous
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I’ve never taken away a social activity or form of exercise from my kid as a consequence for behavior. She’s 13 now.
I’ve done time out when younger, loss of dessert/treat after dinner. Now I take away screens, make her be on dish duty, poop pick ups in the back yard. Dish duty is my favorite lol. |
Anonymous
| Your H is lazy and is using the "punishment" as an excuse to not do the birthday pary/play date. |
Anonymous
You are correct. |
Anonymous
| Agree with you, disagree with your husband. |
Anonymous
| I would never do this and I’d be annoyed if someone did it to me. |
Anonymous
| If that’s your kid’s currency then yes it’s a good consequence. Your obligation is to your child not someone else’s child. |
Anonymous
| your husband's a total zero |
Anonymous
| You are punishing the other kid. There is no question about it. |