80 yo dad married undocumented housekeeper 6 months after my mother’s death

[Anonymous]

It’s as terrible as it sounds. He now does not answer my calls texts or email. He came my kids HS graduation but wouldn’t speak to me and left immediately afterward. He used to be very communicative with me. Clearly something bad is going on. Can I call the police, APS, or ICE? What recourse do I have? He lives about an 8 hour drive away.

I am worried about his estate/wealth being rapidly funneled off by his very shady new wife and also that she will intentional murder him to get his assets. He is very stupid when it comes to obvious stuff like this.

Please advise.

[Anonymous]

What makes her “very shady” aside from your perception? I don’t think there’s much you can do, in any case.

[Anonymous]

You should seek psychiatric help for yourself, first and foremost. I see why he is cutting you out of his life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What makes her “very shady” aside from your perception? I don’t think there’s much you can do, in any case.

She was the housekeeper from two different overseas nations and ended up here as a domestic servant. Her two prior husbands (one in Middle East, one in Philippines are dead), and she has like 10-15 different fb profiles with contradictory information. She had lied to my father about easily confirmed facts (where her children lie/work etc). She is also wearing a large diamond ring and he is acting uncharacteristically. It’s like someone took my dad and replaced him with an incredibly stupid and unkind old man who looks like him. I’m blindsided by his idiocy, his arrogance, and his apparent plan to leave his entire estate to this pirate.

If she was an undocumented person with no citizenship papers, what would happen if I call police or file a report to ICE or APS? Could she get deported? Is marriage fraud a crime?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should seek psychiatric help for yourself, first and foremost. I see why he is cutting you out of his life.

WTH are you taking about? We’ve been very close my entire life. I am not a troll. I am bereaved daughter. I do need help- help to protect him from obvious predator behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What makes her “very shady” aside from your perception? I don’t think there’s much you can do, in any case.

She was the housekeeper from two different overseas nations and ended up here as a domestic servant. Her two prior husbands (one in Middle East, one in Philippines are dead), and she has like 10-15 different fb profiles with contradictory information. She had lied to my father about easily confirmed facts (where her children lie/work etc). She is also wearing a large diamond ring and he is acting uncharacteristically. It’s like someone took my dad and replaced him with an incredibly stupid and unkind old man who looks like him. I’m blindsided by his idiocy, his arrogance, and his apparent plan to leave his entire estate to this pirate.

If she was an undocumented person with no citizenship papers, what would happen if I call police or file a report to ICE or APS? Could she get deported? Is marriage fraud a crime?

A green card marriage is illegal. But if she's a US citizen, getting married for money is not illegal.

[Anonymous]

She will get a third of the estate if he doesn’t change his will and give her more. But she gets to spend everything before he dies. Sorry for you, but even 80 + year olds are allowed to get married.

[Anonymous]

Elder abuse. Please call protective services. Clearly she just wants his $$

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What makes her “very shady” aside from your perception? I don’t think there’s much you can do, in any case.

She was the housekeeper from two different overseas nations and ended up here as a domestic servant. Her two prior husbands (one in Middle East, one in Philippines are dead), and she has like 10-15 different fb profiles with contradictory information. She had lied to my father about easily confirmed facts (where her children lie/work etc). She is also wearing a large diamond ring and he is acting uncharacteristically. It’s like someone took my dad and replaced him with an incredibly stupid and unkind old man who looks like him. I’m blindsided by his idiocy, his arrogance, and his apparent plan to leave his entire estate to this pirate.

If she was an undocumented person with no citizenship papers, what would happen if I call police or file a report to ICE or APS? Could she get deported? Is marriage fraud a crime?

A green card marriage is illegal. But if she's a US citizen, getting married for money is not illegal.

She was definitely not a us citizen at the time of their wedding. I don’t know if being married to him confers automatic citizenship or not. I’m asking if she is someone ICE would be interested in or not. I believe she is controlling his phone email and accounts. Is this not illegal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Elder abuse. Please call protective services. Clearly she just wants his $$

Yes obviously! That’s why I am asking. I am a bereaved daughter in state of shock. What can I do? Or do I just watch helplessly as she likely preys off of him until she kills him and transfers he’s entire life’s work into her play money.

Please help I know some of you have heard or seen something like this before?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Elder abuse. Please call protective services. Clearly she just wants his $$

Yes obviously! That’s why I am asking. I am a bereaved daughter in state of shock. What can I do? Or do I just watch helplessly as she likely preys off of him until she kills him and transfers he’s entire life’s work into her play money.

Please help I know some of you have heard or seen something like this before?

yes, there was a case recently in Loudoun county. Neighbors called protective services. Very similar scenario. The caretaker was writing checks in his name, saying she loved him, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What makes her “very shady” aside from your perception? I don’t think there’s much you can do, in any case.

She was the housekeeper from two different overseas nations and ended up here as a domestic servant. Her two prior husbands (one in Middle East, one in Philippines are dead), and she has like 10-15 different fb profiles with contradictory information. She had lied to my father about easily confirmed facts (where her children lie/work etc). She is also wearing a large diamond ring and he is acting uncharacteristically. It’s like someone took my dad and replaced him with an incredibly stupid and unkind old man who looks like him. I’m blindsided by his idiocy, his arrogance, and his apparent plan to leave his entire estate to this pirate.

If she was an undocumented person with no citizenship papers, what would happen if I call police or file a report to ICE or APS? Could she get deported? Is marriage fraud a crime?

A green card marriage is illegal. But if she's a US citizen, getting married for money is not illegal.

She was definitely not a us citizen at the time of their wedding. I don’t know if being married to him confers automatic citizenship or not. I’m asking if she is someone ICE would be interested in or not. I believe she is controlling his phone email and accounts. Is this not illegal?

It does not. The US is fearful of such marriages, and the bar is high to maintain status until the papers go through, at which point yes, the non-US person can become a US citizen. Do your research.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What makes her “very shady” aside from your perception? I don’t think there’s much you can do, in any case.

She was the housekeeper from two different overseas nations and ended up here as a domestic servant. Her two prior husbands (one in Middle East, one in Philippines are dead), and she has like 10-15 different fb profiles with contradictory information. She had lied to my father about easily confirmed facts (where her children lie/work etc). She is also wearing a large diamond ring and he is acting uncharacteristically. It’s like someone took my dad and replaced him with an incredibly stupid and unkind old man who looks like him. I’m blindsided by his idiocy, his arrogance, and his apparent plan to leave his entire estate to this pirate.

If she was an undocumented person with no citizenship papers, what would happen if I call police or file a report to ICE or APS? Could she get deported? Is marriage fraud a crime?

A green card marriage is illegal. But if she's a US citizen, getting married for money is not illegal.

She was definitely not a us citizen at the time of their wedding. I don’t know if being married to him confers automatic citizenship or not. I’m asking if she is someone ICE would be interested in or not. I believe she is controlling his phone email and accounts. Is this not illegal?

It does not. The US is fearful of such marriages, and the bar is high to maintain status until the papers go through, at which point yes, the non-US person can become a US citizen. Do your research.

Me again. But not being a US citizen doesn't mean she's not legally here, OP. Immigration law is EXTREMELY COMPLEX. You have no way of knowing what her status was before she married your father. Also, for her to eventually get US citizenship, please be assured that USCIS will look carefully into her entire time in the US, and whether she was at any point in the country without the correct status.

[Anonymous]

In these circumstances I might call the elder protective services in his area but be prepared that this will further sever the relationship because he will guess it was you.
It’s terrible.

I know someone whose step father almost certainly killed her mother. She ended up in a decade long private fight with him—not really because she wanted the money but wanted to be sure he didn’t get it. He was abusive anc the mother was considering divorce; he was fully financially dependent on the mother who then died in very suspicious circumstances. He then challenged the will leaving money to my friend, and she had to spend a ton of money just to fight that.

I know someone else whose dad married a truly awful crazy person who totally alienated the kids, and then didn’t even tell them he had died. They kept trying to check in on him and finally she said “stop calling — he died 6 months ago.” This was someone with a significant career, two children, grandchildren and there was no memorial service at all. They have no idea what she did with the body.

Those circumstances were different because the parent married these awful people when they were still in full possession of their faculties ….. not clear that this is the case for OP’s dad.

Is there no one that lives closer? This is really hard when there’s no one that lives close by. I might also consider taking time off work to go try and spend tome with him. Play very nice so you can get in and susd put the situation maybe?

[Anonymous]

He should have not exploited her as a housekeeper. He should have hired a legal helper and paid a fair wage. Karma!