80 yo dad married undocumented housekeeper 6 months after my mother’s death

[Anonymous]

Was she working for your parents when your mom died? Did your mom die from an illness? Could she have caused the death?

[Anonymous]

OP I am sorry for the wacked out responses you are getting here. I have noticed lately some people are just posting wild stuff to create chaos.

I would call adult protective services and maybe an eldercare attorney for advice. It's highly concerning. Please keep us posted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What makes her “very shady” aside from your perception? I don’t think there’s much you can do, in any case.

She was the housekeeper from two different overseas nations and ended up here as a domestic servant. Her two prior husbands (one in Middle East, one in Philippines are dead), and she has like 10-15 different fb profiles with contradictory information. She had lied to my father about easily confirmed facts (where her children lie/work etc). She is also wearing a large diamond ring and he is acting uncharacteristically. It’s like someone took my dad and replaced him with an incredibly stupid and unkind old man who looks like him. I’m blindsided by his idiocy, his arrogance, and his apparent plan to leave his entire estate to this pirate.

If she was an undocumented person with no citizenship papers, what would happen if I call police or file a report to ICE or APS? Could she get deported? Is marriage fraud a crime?

Jesus Christ! You sound deranged with the stalking of this innocent soul! How do you sleep at knowing you will burn in Hell when you die for being such a shitty daughter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I am sorry for the wacked out responses you are getting here. I have noticed lately some people are just posting wild stuff to create chaos.

I would call adult protective services and maybe an eldercare attorney for advice. It's highly concerning. Please keep us posted.

But do you understand that this is a rational response, and that calling ICE is not a rational response? Especially when OP says herself in a follow-up post that she doesn't really know this person's immigration status, or what deportation entails, she just "heard it on the news"? That's either the mark of an opportunistic troll who wants to rile up people about deportation, or the postings of someone who doesn't even realize how xenophobic they are.

The right answer is to do what you are suggesting, PP. OP shouldn't make assumptions about this person' immigration status. Foreigner does not equal illegal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only white women are allowed to marry old guys for money?

+1 good observation

[Anonymous]

What is shady is that you are worried about the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s as terrible as it sounds. He now does not answer my calls texts or email. He came my kids HS graduation but wouldn’t speak to me and left immediately afterward. He used to be very communicative with me. Clearly something bad is going on. Can I call the police, APS, or ICE? What recourse do I have? He lives about an 8 hour drive away.

I am worried about his estate/wealth being rapidly funneled off by his very shady new wife and also that she will intentional murder him to get his assets. He is very stupid when it comes to obvious stuff like this.

Please advise.

Call ICE 1800 line. They will get rid of the problem if she is not in the country legally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She will get a third of the estate if he doesn’t change his will and give her more. But she gets to spend everything before he dies. Sorry for you, but even 80 + year olds are allowed to get married.

Huh? No she will get the entire estate unless he specified his kids in his will. Assets by default pass to your spouse

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What makes her “very shady” aside from your perception? I don’t think there’s much you can do, in any case.

She was the housekeeper from two different overseas nations and ended up here as a domestic servant. Her two prior husbands (one in Middle East, one in Philippines are dead), and she has like 10-15 different fb profiles with contradictory information. She had lied to my father about easily confirmed facts (where her children lie/work etc). She is also wearing a large diamond ring and he is acting uncharacteristically. It’s like someone took my dad and replaced him with an incredibly stupid and unkind old man who looks like him. I’m blindsided by his idiocy, his arrogance, and his apparent plan to leave his entire estate to this pirate.

If she was an undocumented person with no citizenship papers, what would happen if I call police or file a report to ICE or APS? Could she get deported? Is marriage fraud a crime?

A green card marriage is illegal. But if she's a US citizen, getting married for money is not illegal.

She was definitely not a us citizen at the time of their wedding. I don’t know if being married to him confers automatic citizenship or not. I’m asking if she is someone ICE would be interested in or not. I believe she is controlling his phone email and accounts. Is this not illegal?

Let’s assume they love each other or at least enjoy each others company. Your father doesn’t do well alone. He’s happy with what she gives him. Calling ICE would be a hateful thing to do. Diabolical. If they are happy and spend every dime on making their lives fulfilling, good for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Elder abuse. Please call protective services. Clearly she just wants his $$

Yes obviously! That’s why I am asking. I am a bereaved daughter in state of shock. What can I do? Or do I just watch helplessly as she likely preys off of him until she kills him and transfers he’s entire life’s work into her play money.

Please help I know some of you have heard or seen something like this before?

yes, there was a case recently in Loudoun county. Neighbors called protective services. Very similar scenario. The caretaker was writing checks in his name, saying she loved him, etc.

Was the caretaker the wife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She will get a third of the estate if he doesn’t change his will and give her more. But she gets to spend everything before he dies. Sorry for you, but even 80 + year olds are allowed to get married.

Huh? No she will get the entire estate unless he specified his kids in his will. Assets by default pass to your spouse

For both of you - laws governing who gets what if someone dies intestate (without a will) vary by state, so neither of you know the answer to this without that information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gather evidence. Call ICE.

Don’t call ICE on anyone unless you know they are a violent criminal. Decent Americans wouldn’t even think of calling ICE on anyone unless someone was dangerousness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What makes her “very shady” aside from your perception? I don’t think there’s much you can do, in any case.

She was the housekeeper from two different overseas nations and ended up here as a domestic servant. Her two prior husbands (one in Middle East, one in Philippines are dead), and she has like 10-15 different fb profiles with contradictory information. She had lied to my father about easily confirmed facts (where her children lie/work etc). She is also wearing a large diamond ring and he is acting uncharacteristically. It’s like someone took my dad and replaced him with an incredibly stupid and unkind old man who looks like him. I’m blindsided by his idiocy, his arrogance, and his apparent plan to leave his entire estate to this pirate.

If she was an undocumented person with no citizenship papers, what would happen if I call police or file a report to ICE or APS? Could she get deported? Is marriage fraud a crime?

A green card marriage is illegal. But if she's a US citizen, getting married for money is not illegal.

She was definitely not a us citizen at the time of their wedding. I don’t know if being married to him confers automatic citizenship or not. I’m asking if she is someone ICE would be interested in or not. I believe she is controlling his phone email and accounts. Is this not illegal?

Let’s assume they love each other or at least enjoy each others company. Your father doesn’t do well alone. He’s happy with what she gives him. Calling ICE would be a hateful thing to do. Diabolical. If they are happy and spend every dime on making their lives fulfilling, good for them.

+1

[Anonymous]

So sorry OP. The hypocrisy on this thread is nuts. DCUM loved generational wealth and inheritance. Family money is everything on here.

My FIL squandered away about ten million dollars on his various wives. All were American and he was in his 50s so clearly not elder abuse. My DH and his siblings were cut off by FIL when they were basically in their late teens and early 20s. My FIL refused to attend any graduation or wedding or any other family event.

Fast forward and he is now in his mid-70s and alone. Mostly broke and wants his kids to care for him. That is not happening. He has never met any of his grandchildren and likely never will.

Wife three was a major drug addicted with a drug addicted daughter. I think most of the money went to drugs. The daughter is currently in prison for child abuse.