Boyfriend insulted me

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend badly insulted me and tried to play it off as a joke. He is in the process of house hunting. I will be moving in and we will be splitting costs. He really liked one place but crossed it off of his list. When I asked why, he told me I can’t afford it. This isn’t the first time he has put my job down. I feel very hurt. He is now claiming it’s a joke and he crossed it off the list for other reasons. I am seriously considering ending my relationship.

[Anonymous]

DTMF.

[Anonymous]

If his remarks are stemming from disrespect then leave.

[Anonymous]

Backhand him in the balls when he says something you don't like. He'll get the message.

[Anonymous]

You should NOT move in with this guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Backhand him in the balls when he says something you don't like. He'll get the message.

I don’t believe in violence. It’s only for women to physically abuse men either.

[Anonymous]

This seems like an overreaction. I mean he didn’t choose the house because, also, HE can’t afford it right? If he could he’d just go for it and wouldn’t have to consider your income. I see it as much of an insult to himself too.

[Anonymous]

Have you discussed a budget of what is affordable for each of you? I mean, it is reasonable to choose a place you can both afford. I am not sure that is an insult versus a practical reality.
Did you feel you could afford that place?

[Anonymous]

Why are you splitting costs if he makes a lot more?

[Anonymous]

Then do it. Give the relationship time and space to see how YOU really feel. This is your life, after all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Backhand him in the balls when he says something you don't like. He'll get the message.

Where should he hit her when she says something he doesn’t like?

Domestic violence isn’t the answer to anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you splitting costs if he makes a lot more?

They are dating. Neither should be subsidizing the other.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand why you were so badly insulted and why you are considering ending the relationship. I feel like I am missing something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This seems like an overreaction. I mean he didn’t choose the house because, also, HE can’t afford it right? If he could he’d just go for it and wouldn’t have to consider your income. I see it as much of an insult to himself too.

He can afford it on his own. I’m not his wife or a dependent and need to pay my fair share. I wouldn’t expect him to pay all of the bills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you discussed a budget of what is affordable for each of you? I mean, it is reasonable to choose a place you can both afford. I am not sure that is an insult versus a practical reality.
Did you feel you could afford that place?

This isn’t the only time he has put down how much money I make. He has done this dinners and vacations.

Our plan was for him to buy and we split 60/40. He said I can’t afford the 40.