Disagree fundamentally with friend in sticky situation

[Anonymous]

A long-time friend has gotten involved with a married man. At first it was a one night stand with an old friend but now it’s turning into a fling and possibly something more. This man’s wife is pregnant, they already have a small child, my friend found out and she STILL is entertaining this schmuck.

Her argument is that it’s not her responsibility to protect this man’s relationship. I think that’s about as good a defense as someone saying they didn’t commit the bank robbery, they just drove the car.

I tell my friend that everything gross about this man aside, is this even what/who she wants for her life? She calls me morally righteous. I’m having a hard time with this. WWYD?

And, the “not my relationship, not my problem” argument is so weak and ridiculous. I just can’t get behind it.

[Anonymous]

Gross. I don’t think I could be friends with someone like this. I’d pull way back on the friendship for now and hope she comes to her senses. I just would not be able to sit and listen to this at all.

[Anonymous]

Your friend is using the classic cheater’s excuse. No one forced her to trip and fall onto a married man’s d!ck, especially one with a pregnant wife and small child. I would cut her off without a second thought.

[Anonymous]

I would just not be her friend anymore. Seriously.

Or I would tell her that it's a long, long road from "stranger, I owe you nothing" to "I am your child's stepmom so let's have a good relationship". Ask her what she thinks it'll be like to be a stepmother, and how she plans to handle co-parenting a child and an infant. Will she be doing diapers and night feedings, for example?

[Anonymous]

Er, what kind of character traits do you look for in friendships?
I would only put up with this person if it were someone in my family. No friendships of volition would entertain this sort of behavior.
Worse than a skank.

[Anonymous]

She's right. She's not the one who's doing the cheating. His is the home wrecker in his marriage, not her.

However, I would tell her I don't want to hear about it at all. Because I don't. And I sure wouldn't let her around anyone I'm romantically involved in.

[Anonymous]

You can say “it makes me so uncomfortable, Sara” and refuse to discuss it. See/talk to her less.

[Anonymous]

I wonder about your own character, OP. Associating with people like these.

[Anonymous]

I’d anonymously tell the wife, and dump her as a friend. What a gross justification. She has no morals or values and would screw you over if she got the chance. Bye Felicia.

[Anonymous]

Drop her.

[Anonymous]

I think you distance yourself and maybe ghost. I had a friend who did this (also with pregnant wife!) and I just couldn't see her the same way. The other thing was that she was caught up in the melodrama of it all and that became her total focus in her life. It became an obsession which I did not share nor approve of. Honestly, I don't think she really cared about losing her friendships!

[Anonymous]

I would refuse to talk about it, give her one warning and then you're not friends anymore. But wish her all the best as a stepmother!

[Anonymous]

I would drop a friend like her.

[Anonymous]

She doesn't want him for her life. What's so good about him now that she is willing to do this? Money? Good in bed? She can't get anyone else?

[Anonymous]

Is she thinking that he will leave his wife for her?