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Early 30s guy here dating a early-mid 20s girl. She’s great. Beautiful, interesting smart etc. but she’s more the “alternative” type. Vapes, weed, etc.
I on the other hand don’t do those things and work out daily/run/yoga. It’s easy to be hot at 24….but without discipline/a regimen, not so much at 35…so I am concerned about her future. I’ve tried to go on dates with more “fitness/wellness” types - you know, the Pilates/yoga/run club (some combo of that daily) , more basic….but seem to get no interest from that crowd. My assumption is while I am fit I’m not fit enough for them or I’m not rich enough for that crowd. Thoughts? |
| You're probably too shallow and grasping |
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Why aren’t you dating girls your age.
The fitness types are neurotic. You don’t wanna date them. |
| You need to date people your age. People in their mid 20's are into partying. They are using you for your money. |
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Bruh, you’re just not that attractive.
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Keep trying. There are many women into fitness. Some will like you even if most don't. This is true for all types of women and how they respond to all types of men.
Listing fitness hobbies helps attract fit people on dating apps. There's also an app called Fitness Singles. |
| Why are you dating someone ten years younger than you? |
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I gently suggest that you stop categorizing people with neat little labels. Each individual is very much their own person. The "fitness" women don't all have the same values, and the "alternative" women don't live alternative lifestyles for the same reasons.
When you start appreciating individuals for who they are, then maybe you'll find someone who will stick around for you. And frankly, you'll never meet someone who has EXACTLY your values and your goals in life. Please don't wait for someone like that to drop into your lap! My parents are not from the same country, and when they met did not have a common language, religion, culture or cuisine. Yet they were suited for each other. My husband and I have a large age gap, and despite having one language and one culture in common, had very different life experiences before we met. He experienced war and privations as a child. I lived in a safe middle class bubble. None of this is an impediment to a successful marriage, OP. What you need to find is someone who is willing to adapt and learn - and you should be willing to adapt and learn as well. Keep trying, with an open mind. |
I try. They aren’t in person. It’s like they are all hidden away |
If I had real money, i don’t think I’d be posting because the Pilates women def seem to date in an economic class above mine |
| So she'll get a regimen? She's enjoying being effortlessly young and hot now. If she's valued for being hot (which is what it seems you value and she is looking to leverage dating an older guy) she'll step it up if she wants to maintain. You're probably right though you're neither hot or rich enough that's a guarantee. |
Oh, I also want to add that a lot of the cute girls at this age who will likely maintain physical fitness longterm but aren't like, stay at home girlfriends, aren't yet in the pilates/workout class thing. They're hiking, rowing, maybe runners, playing in sports leagues, etc. Doing things that are more fun and active vs sweating it out out of a perfunctory need to be fit. |
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Stay far away from fitness girls in their 20s.
But girls: stay away from this old man. |
| Date woman of your age that are into your running/yoga lifestyle |
| I don’t want women to date you because I think you’re afraid of aging and middle age, and that’s going to make you a bad life partner when it’s the hardest (little kids years). |