DD 15 just won’t listen to reason!

[Anonymous]

Op never came back. Guess this was a troll!

[Anonymous]

OP here, to shed more clarity on the situation this is a family tradition that I honestly don’t think it would really be my place to break just due to a teen’s whim. And I was being figurative when I say that I carry out the door; I don’t really, it just feels like it. Some of you folks are really no better than my kid! Lol.

[Anonymous]

Is this the first time you’re having these fights with her over control? if so, congrats. Most of us realize years before that we really can’t make our kids do anything. Yes we can punish or incentivize but make?

You can talk to her about it and say that you appreciate her going, even if she just uses the time to think about anything else. Or you can punish or incentivize. But hill you will die on has consequences. Choose wisely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk to her about the importance of learning about spirituality and faith. I'm not Christian but I tell my kids it's important to know how to pray and that these deeper moments of reflection, meditation, and connection are what get us through the difficult times in life.

That would be fine, as long as mom and family agree to attend a mosque, a synagogue, a Hindu temple, a Wiccan circle, etc on alternating weeks. You know, so she (and they) “can learn about the importance of spirituality and faith.”

Bet mom will be suuuuuper up for that. 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look if they are Catholic the parents are literally keeping their daughter from going to Hell by attending church. Their daughter could be eternally damned in a ring of fire if she does not go every Sunday.

Her parents need to be supported for their love and grace.

Yawn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We go to church every Sunday. As a family. Non-negotiable, sorry. That’s how it’s always been. When my DD 15 moves out of the house she can skip church if she’d like, she can join a monastery for all I care, but right now she lives with us and every Sunday you better believe she will be at church with us. End of discussion!

But she won’t listen to reason. She’s insisting that she’s an “atheist” and that somehow means she should be exempt from the family rule. Not how it works! She says that church makes her uncomfortable and has said that she has issues with “religion being homophobic.” Well our church isn’t, the minister’s daughter is married to a woman! But I can’t persuade her. It’s always a fight, every single week, and I’m just exhausted. How do I make my daughter understand why this is required?

Team mom


Hang in there mama!

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We go to church every Sunday. As a family. Non-negotiable, sorry. That’s how it’s always been. When my DD 15 moves out of the house she can skip church if she’d like, she can join a monastery for all I care, but right now she lives with us and every Sunday you better believe she will be at church with us. End of discussion!

But she won’t listen to reason. She’s insisting that she’s an “atheist” and that somehow means she should be exempt from the family rule. Not how it works! She says that church makes her uncomfortable and has said that she has issues with “religion being homophobic.” Well our church isn’t, the minister’s daughter is married to a woman! But I can’t persuade her. It’s always a fight, every single week, and I’m just exhausted. How do I make my daughter understand why this is required?

This is a tough one OP. We've had a similar rule and age 14-15 is where we've run into problems.

Does she have friends at church? Is there a youth group or Sunday school class for teens? This helps a lot. I've agreed to let mine skip church services if they go to Youth group, sunday school or something else instead.

Does her dad attend church with the family?

Supposedly, Dad in the home attending church regularly is the strongest indicator of whether teens, boys and girls both, attend church.

**********

An argument that got all my kids through that tern hump was that I posed this 2 part question to them, followed by my answer after they gave their answer.

The first question was, what happens if atheism is correct, and you still participate in our family's faith traditions without a fight? I let them answer, then say that if atheism is correct, you don't lose anything by attending. What you receive is a nice weekly tradition of a couple of hours spending time with our family, some really nice holiday traditions, a moral code that is just, kind, and reasonable, and a stronger grasp than most of your peers of world history, modern western law, and current events, through your understanding of Christianity and the Bible.

After they have a second to digest that, I then ask the second half of the question which is what if the atheists are wrong and I am correct? For this question, I don't say anything else and let them stew on it. 4 kids and that question tends to move them to silence, with wheels turning in their brains.

That combination of questions makes them stop and think in a way that transcends tiktok, social media, and their peers.

4/4 and after those 2 questions, I have never again gotten pushback from my teens about attending church with the family.

What you have just described without even knowing it is literally Pascal’s wager. It is a known FALLACY.

You sure thought you sounded smart, huh? 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, to shed more clarity on the situation this is a family tradition that I honestly don’t think it would really be my place to break just due to a teen’s whim. And I was being figurative when I say that I carry out the door; I don’t really, it just feels like it. Some of you folks are really no better than my kid! Lol.

Family tradition started by whom? And what do you mean, not your place? Aren’t you the mother, the leader of the family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, to shed more clarity on the situation this is a family tradition that I honestly don’t think it would really be my place to break just due to a teen’s whim. And I was being figurative when I say that I carry out the door; I don’t really, it just feels like it. Some of you folks are really no better than my kid! Lol.

I don't believe for a second that this is actually OP.

Here, I'll play too. "I'm OP! I'm a psychotic nutcase and I am ignoring all of you because it's MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY, BABYYYYY"