Adult Failure to Launch DD Stealing from Me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a family matter not a police matter. Not being able to find a stable job some months after graduation is NOT failure to launch. I am so glad I didn't have parents like you.

Ayfkm?
She stole from them.
I’d report to police.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a family matter not a police matter. Not being able to find a stable job some months after graduation is NOT failure to launch. I am so glad I didn't have parents like you.

+1.

Some of these parents are heartless!

My younger brother was unemployed on and off until 26. He pays some of my mother's bills now at 33. Some children need help for a little longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. No, we NEVER gave her permission to use our credit card. We weren't even aware that she knew the CC number until now, but apparently she wrote down my CC number when she was back home from winter break last year without me noticing. See how much of a sneaky, entitled person she is?

Re: college. She was an English major at a SLAC known for entitled, whiny students (similar to Oberlin/Wesleyan). She started off as pre-med/Bio at an HYPS school, but she left the school after her freshman year due to "mental health issues" (which I now realize are just depression and loneliness due to how insufferable she is to be around). She took 1 year off of college back in 2021 and then transferred to this progressive SLAC (similar in rankings/political reputation to an Oberlin/Vassar type school) because she wanted to "pursue her creative ambitions."

She lives with a college friend in a different part of the country, and pays $600/month in rent. She Venmo'd the person $3k from MY bank account (the audacity!) because she wanted to "front-load" rent for January-May. Insane.

She wants to use the extra $1k for Delta plane tickets to visit her FRIEND's FAMILY (not us, but her roommate's parents!) over winter break because "she never wants to see us again." This is despite the fact that she's 23 and on our health insurance and phone plan. Insane.

You're a troll. F off.

Not a troll, I'm giving you all the details and you have nothing and aren't particularly helpful.

I have something. You are a horrible parent. You are calling a young adult who graduated in a terrible economy a failure to launch. If you can be this cruel to your own flesh and blood, I don't want to imagine how you are with other people in your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So she just graduated, didn't find a job in her field but did find one as a barista, held that job for many months and just lost it. She doesn't seem like failure to launch to me and more in a panic about how to not be on the street due to job loss...

Correct

[Anonymous]

Oh, GrendelOP, stfu. Your kid is going to jail at your request, your golden other child is sucking up, all is bright.

[Anonymous]

If you aren't a troll, you are certainly not a nice person. My DS graduated in May and doesn't yet have a permanent job. He has a temporary job and lives at home. But, this job market is awful and I don't consider him a launch failure at 22 and six months after graduating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a family matter not a police matter. Not being able to find a stable job some months after graduation is NOT failure to launch. I am so glad I didn't have parents like you.

Ayfkm?
She stole from them.
I’d report to police.

Then you're an idiot just like OP.

But OP is also a horrible person (and I'm assuming based on your comment that you are too).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a family matter not a police matter. Not being able to find a stable job some months after graduation is NOT failure to launch. I am so glad I didn't have parents like you.

+1.

Some of these parents are heartless!

My younger brother was unemployed on and off until 26. He pays some of my mother's bills now at 33. Some children need help for a little longer.

Yeah, but my guess is that those parents actually love their children, unlike OP.

[Anonymous]

If you feel your adult child is stealing from you, that's a whole different issue

It feels like addiction and mental illness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
So she's not a failure to launch if she's not living with you or dependent on you for her lifestyle.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like DD might be the family scapegoat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is one of the conditions to attend Christian church?

If she's going to be a scammer, she needs to learn from the best.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I'm back with some updates.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I'm back with some updates. DD ended up Venmoing us the money back (so no jail), but unfortunately, she begged money from DS (who works a high-paying tech job in SF) to buy plane tickets for her to go to her roommates's parents' house over winter break (not OUR house). When I asked her why she wouldn't come to her own flesh and blood -- her family! -- over her friend's family for Christmas, she FLIPPED OUT at us and started cussing us out. She kept yelling at DH and I that we were "controlling her financially all throughout college by making college funding contingent on me attending church when I don't believe in God" and that we "only know how to control her financially and don't have any real relationship with your only daughter except for one that consists of financial control" and that we've "ruined her with generational trauma" and all this ridiculous psychobabble that she unfortunately has picked up from her therapist (who is convinced, wrongly, that we're the root of all of her problems, but I digress).

Oh, and she's still unemployed and "searching for a job." Like she has been since May

I emphasized to her that maybe 9 months of "searching for a job" has shown that her strategy has been ineffective, and she needs to go back to school for a more lucrative degree than her BA in English if she wants a chance of getting a normal office job. But she REFUSES, because she's entitled, delusional, and extremely narcissistic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm back with some updates. DD ended up Venmoing us the money back (so no jail), but unfortunately, she begged money from DS (who works a high-paying tech job in SF) to buy plane tickets for her to go to her roommates's parents' house over winter break (not OUR house). When I asked her why she wouldn't come to her own flesh and blood -- her family! -- over her friend's family for Christmas, she FLIPPED OUT at us and started cussing us out. She kept yelling at DH and I that we were "controlling her financially all throughout college by making college funding contingent on me attending church when I don't believe in God" and that we "only know how to control her financially and don't have any real relationship with your only daughter except for one that consists of financial control" and that we've "ruined her with generational trauma" and all this ridiculous psychobabble that she unfortunately has picked up from her therapist (who is convinced, wrongly, that we're the root of all of her problems, but I digress).

Oh, and she's still unemployed and "searching for a job." Like she has been since May

I emphasized to her that maybe 9 months of "searching for a job" has shown that her strategy has been ineffective, and she needs to go back to school for a more lucrative degree than her BA in English if she wants a chance of getting a normal office job. But she REFUSES, because she's entitled, delusional, and extremely narcissistic.

Why would she want to stay with you after what happened with the credit card? You really need to be careful if you plan on having a relationship with your DD going forward. It's hard for me to believe your follow up post is even real. I'm leaning toward "troll" since you seem to genuinely hate your DD and yet you're surprised she hates you back.