Dating at gender-lopsided universities

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Asked out on dates"

Is she willing to do the asking?

That's not going to go well

Why not?

I'm surprised you don't know this. Men want to do the choosing. If they want to date you they will ask. If they don't ask they won't want you. And I don't want to hear about the one man who was asked out because this true of the majority of men!

The 1950s have spoken.

It’s different in 2025. Women need to ask. Men have been taught they will get charged with harassment and guilty first.

Have any of you ever asked a woman out in the past quarter-century? I've never had any problems with this.

[Anonymous]

I do agree with some of the conclusions here. I have both boys and girls, so you won't catch me bashing either.

My daughter would love to be "asked out" in the old-fashioned way. Dinner, coffee, whatever. She's sick of "talking to" guys.

My son is definitely a bit afraid to ask out a girl and either be shot down or shamed. He has friends who are gay and bisexual, but he admits to being confused about whether it's OK to pursue a girl who has said she's bi.

[Anonymous]

My beautiful daughter, now 25 and in a relationship with a great guy was single all through college. She was in a co-ed dorm freshman year where one kid slept with half the girls in the hall and they all fought over him. Other guys would hit on the girls in the hall and they all rejected him for not being cool enough and he transferred. DD would meet a guy out at a bar or party that she hit it off with with girls would run up to her and tell her he was off limits because he slept with another girl last week and she would be devastated. My daughter walked away and he went home with the girl who told her he was off limits. It was all so competitive and gross she just gave up: She was in a top sorority and most of her friends were also single. Hook up culture is real. The guys don’t want to or have to settle until they are Jrs or seniors if at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Asked out on dates"

Is she willing to do the asking?

That's not going to go well

Why not?

I'm surprised you don't know this. Men want to do the choosing. If they want to date you they will ask. If they don't ask they won't want you. And I don't want to hear about the one man who was asked out because this true of the majority of men!

The 1950s have spoken.

It’s different in 2025. Women need to ask. Men have been taught they will get charged with harassment and guilty first.

Girls asking still does not work out well - woukd never recommend that…the girls that get the dates know how to express interest without saying a word and the guys do the asking ….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Asked out on dates"

Is she willing to do the asking?

That's not going to go well

Why not?

I'm surprised you don't know this. Men want to do the choosing. If they want to date you they will ask. If they don't ask they won't want you. And I don't want to hear about the one man who was asked out because this true of the majority of men!

The 1950s have spoken.

It’s different in 2025. Women need to ask. Men have been taught they will get charged with harassment and guilty first.

Have any of you ever asked a woman out in the past quarter-century? I've never had any problems with this.

That's because sexual harassment is a pattern. Ask once, accept a "no," move along? That's not harassment, and no serious person thinks it is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do agree with some of the conclusions here. I have both boys and girls, so you won't catch me bashing either.

My daughter would love to be "asked out" in the old-fashioned way. Dinner, coffee, whatever. She's sick of "talking to" guys.

My son is definitely a bit afraid to ask out a girl and either be shot down or shamed. He has friends who are gay and bisexual, but he admits to being confused about whether it's OK to pursue a girl who has said she's bi.

I don’t really understand sort of extreme reactions like this.

My two sons attended DCPS and while they shrugged at some of the social engineering, neither felt oppressed or overwhelmed by the messaging. Maybe in the scheme of things DCPS isn’t that crazy.

Neither has ever had an issue reading social cues and asking women out…sometimes a rejection happens but I guess they ask out normal people because there is no public shaming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Asked out on dates"

Is she willing to do the asking?

That's not going to go well

Why not?

I'm surprised you don't know this. Men want to do the choosing. If they want to date you they will ask. If they don't ask they won't want you. And I don't want to hear about the one man who was asked out because this true of the majority of men!

The 1950s have spoken.

It’s different in 2025. Women need to ask. Men have been taught they will get charged with harassment and guilty first.

Girls asking still does not work out well - woukd never recommend that…the girls that get the dates know how to express interest without saying a word and the guys do the asking ….

Maybe 20 years ago but not today. Straight female have to step it up. It is interesting how only the gay dating site are doing well.

[Anonymous]

My daughter has been in school for a month and she has been asked out a couple of times by different guys. The same thing has occurred to two of her roommates. It is not as bleak as it sounds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is definitely a bit afraid to ask out a girl and either be shot down or shamed.

The only cure for that fear is to ask girls out many times and get shot down many times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter has been in school for a month and she has been asked out a couple of times by different guys. The same thing has occurred to two of her roommates. It is not as bleak as it sounds.

What kind of school? And how did she meet the guys? Can you share more? This has not been my daughter's experience at all and she's sort of bummed because she went to a girls' high school and hoped college would be a bit different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do agree with some of the conclusions here. I have both boys and girls, so you won't catch me bashing either.

My daughter would love to be "asked out" in the old-fashioned way. Dinner, coffee, whatever. She's sick of "talking to" guys.

My son is definitely a bit afraid to ask out a girl and either be shot down or shamed. He has friends who are gay and bisexual, but he admits to being confused about whether it's OK to pursue a girl who has said she's bi.

I don’t really understand sort of extreme reactions like this.

My two sons attended DCPS and while they shrugged at some of the social engineering, neither felt oppressed or overwhelmed by the messaging. Maybe in the scheme of things DCPS isn’t that crazy.

Neither has ever had an issue reading social cues and asking women out…sometimes a rejection happens but I guess they ask out normal people because there is no public shaming.

I don't think he'd get shamed, either, but HE thinks he would!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could parents or students at universities with 60/40 ratios comment on the dating scene? DD is straight (and white if that matters, but would be open to other races and ethnicities). Not looking for her to get an Mrs but I think she would like to be asked out on dates and have a boyfriend in college.

She could always date some townies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Asked out on dates"

Is she willing to do the asking?

That's not going to go well

Why not?

I'm surprised you don't know this. Men want to do the choosing. If they want to date you they will ask. If they don't ask they won't want you. And I don't want to hear about the one man who was asked out because this true of the majority of men!

The 1950s have spoken.

It’s different in 2025. Women need to ask. Men have been taught they will get charged with harassment and guilty first.

Have any of you ever asked a woman out in the past quarter-century? I've never had any problems with this.

I've never been poisoned with a date-rape drug while at a bar, but it's something that happens and it's perfectly understandable for an individual to be concerned about and take steps to keep themselves safe from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My beautiful daughter, now 25 and in a relationship with a great guy was single all through college. She was in a co-ed dorm freshman year where one kid slept with half the girls in the hall and they all fought over him. Other guys would hit on the girls in the hall and they all rejected him for not being cool enough and he transferred. DD would meet a guy out at a bar or party that she hit it off with with girls would run up to her and tell her he was off limits because he slept with another girl last week and she would be devastated. My daughter walked away and he went home with the girl who told her he was off limits. It was all so competitive and gross she just gave up: She was in a top sorority and most of her friends were also single. Hook up culture is real. The guys don’t want to or have to settle until they are Jrs or seniors if at all.

It's not really competitive - if a girl ignores the top 5% of guys and is instead more realistic with the guys she shows interest to (e.g. the normal guy who ended up transferring, or the many many normal guys who she doesn't even remember because of how normal they were) then the possibility of a long term relationship becomes more realistic.

It's like someone only applying to Goldman Sachs and complaining about how cutthroat the job market is when they get rejected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Asked out on dates"

Is she willing to do the asking?

That's not going to go well

Why not?

I'm surprised you don't know this. Men want to do the choosing. If they want to date you they will ask. If they don't ask they won't want you. And I don't want to hear about the one man who was asked out because this true of the majority of men!

The 1950s have spoken.

It’s different in 2025. Women need to ask. Men have been taught they will get charged with harassment and guilty first.

Have any of you ever asked a woman out in the past quarter-century? I've never had any problems with this.

That's because sexual harassment is a pattern. Ask once, accept a "no," move along? That's not harassment, and no serious person thinks it is

Not everyone is "serious", and most girls confuse sexual attention with romantic interest and will thus reject a guy at their level because they have (or can easily get) a "date" (sex appointment) with a very attractive guy who has no long term interest in them.