Dating at gender-lopsided universities

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD at an SLAC says all the straight males say they are “polyamorous” and the straight girls have to be okay with them seriously dating multiple girls at the same time. Yuck. She’s going to wait for the real world to start dating I guess.

So…hooking up. That’s not serious.

That’s what my boys are doing. I just tell them to use protection. It’s good for them to get it out of their system now rather than later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Specify which is 60% and which sex is 40%.

I don't know of any notable 60m/40w colleges

You aren't thinking broadly.
Tech colleges. MIT has been in this range.

Caltech is probably more lopsided with men than 60/40

What’s the point of speculating about things that are public data?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is an old literature about this. When there is a surplus of women, then hookup culture develops and women must share boyfriends.

The New Math on Campus
https://web.archive.org/web/20141222185246/http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/07/fashion/07campus.html?pagewanted=1&hpw

Sexual Economics, Culture, Men, and Modern Sexual Trends
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12115-012-9596-y

Student Bodies: Does the Sex Ratio Matter for Hooking Up and Having Sex at College?
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/2329496515579763

Interesting. Quotes:

“Hooking up,” as students use the term, involves anything from “making out” to intercourse, with no necessary implication of an interest in a relationship.

Consistent with the prediction, we find that where the ratio of women to men is higher, students of both sexes hook up more and accumulate more sexual partners, but inconsistent with it, students are no more likely to have intercourse in a given hookup where the ratio of women is higher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is an old literature about this. When there is a surplus of women, then hookup culture develops and women must share boyfriends.

The New Math on Campus
https://web.archive.org/web/20141222185246/http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/07/fashion/07campus.html?pagewanted=1&hpw

Sexual Economics, Culture, Men, and Modern Sexual Trends
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12115-012-9596-y

Student Bodies: Does the Sex Ratio Matter for Hooking Up and Having Sex at College?
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/2329496515579763

Interesting. Quotes:

“Hooking up,” as students use the term, involves anything from “making out” to intercourse, with no necessary implication of an interest in a relationship.

Consistent with the prediction, we find that where the ratio of women to men is higher, students of both sexes hook up more and accumulate more sexual partners, but inconsistent with it, students are no more likely to have intercourse in a given hookup where the ratio of women is higher.

My son and his friends have no problem hooking up - they are athletes at their school and women are basically throwing themselves at them and will do whatever they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Specify which is 60% and which sex is 40%.

I don't know of any notable 60m/40w colleges

You aren't thinking broadly.
Tech colleges. MIT has been in this range.

Caltech is probably more lopsided with men than 60/40

What’s the point of speculating about things that are public data?

You can't really draw any reliable conclusions from the public data without also knowing about sexual orientation, which of course none of us do (and would only be wildly speculating).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could parents or students at universities with 60/40 ratios comment on the dating scene? DD is straight (and white if that matters, but would be open to other races and ethnicities). Not looking for her to get an Mrs but I think she would like to be asked out on dates and have a boyfriend in college.

I went to a SLAC like this.

Honestly, if she 1) isn't fat, or 2) is willing to ask guys out, she'll do just fine at hooking up with guys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could parents or students at universities with 60/40 ratios comment on the dating scene? DD is straight (and white if that matters, but would be open to other races and ethnicities). Not looking for her to get an Mrs but I think she would like to be asked out on dates and have a boyfriend in college.

I went to a SLAC like this.

Honestly, if she 1) isn't fat, or 2) is willing to ask guys out, she'll do just fine at hooking up with guys.

There's a huge difference between hooking up vs being asked out and eventually being a girlfriend. Hooking up with randoms will almost always not lead to becoming a girlfriend (or boyfriend).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could parents or students at universities with 60/40 ratios comment on the dating scene? DD is straight (and white if that matters, but would be open to other races and ethnicities). Not looking for her to get an Mrs but I think she would like to be asked out on dates and have a boyfriend in college.

I went to a SLAC like this.

Honestly, if she 1) isn't fat, or 2) is willing to ask guys out, she'll do just fine at hooking up with guys.

There's a huge difference between hooking up vs being asked out and eventually being a girlfriend. Hooking up with randoms will almost always not lead to becoming a girlfriend (or boyfriend).

That was in the past. Hooking up is like a first date now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could parents or students at universities with 60/40 ratios comment on the dating scene? DD is straight (and white if that matters, but would be open to other races and ethnicities). Not looking for her to get an Mrs but I think she would like to be asked out on dates and have a boyfriend in college.

I went to a SLAC like this.

Honestly, if she 1) isn't fat, or 2) is willing to ask guys out, she'll do just fine at hooking up with guys.

There's a huge difference between hooking up vs being asked out and eventually being a girlfriend. Hooking up with randoms will almost always not lead to becoming a girlfriend (or boyfriend).

That was in the past. Hooking up is like a first date now.

No it is not. I have a son who is at a large university. Good looking kid. I'm telling you, he and his friends refuse to ask girls out on a date who just hook up with them. They do want girlfriends, but the girls they hook up with are literally just there for that and not girlfriend material to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could parents or students at universities with 60/40 ratios comment on the dating scene? DD is straight (and white if that matters, but would be open to other races and ethnicities). Not looking for her to get an Mrs but I think she would like to be asked out on dates and have a boyfriend in college.

I went to a SLAC like this.

Honestly, if she 1) isn't fat, or 2) is willing to ask guys out, she'll do just fine at hooking up with guys.

There's a huge difference between hooking up vs being asked out and eventually being a girlfriend. Hooking up with randoms will almost always not lead to becoming a girlfriend (or boyfriend).

That was in the past. Hooking up is like a first date now.

No it is not. I have a son who is at a large university. Good looking kid. I'm telling you, he and his friends refuse to ask girls out on a date who just hook up with them. They do want girlfriends, but the girls they hook up with are literally just there for that and not girlfriend material to them.

So, is your son in the camp of complaining about not having a girlfriend? Using the phrase "they do want girlfriends" implies he is having trouble finding a girlfriend.

Also, if your kid attends a large university, how do you know that a girl that refuses to just hook up with him (but goes on a date) on any given night, may in fact be more than happy to hook up with some other kid that night? Maybe there is some small %age of girls who I suppose are known to hook up a ton...but doesn't the school have thousands of girls?

[Anonymous]

I have a daughter at one of the 5Cs and she wishes schools would balance a bit better for gender. The consortioum as a whole runs girl-heavy because one of the schools (Scripps) is all-women and then two other campuses (Pitzer and Pomona) run majority women. She says it impacts her dating life heavily and she wishes they'd enroll more men.

She said if she had to make decisions over again, she may have picked one of her other choices that was closer to 50/50.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could parents or students at universities with 60/40 ratios comment on the dating scene? DD is straight (and white if that matters, but would be open to other races and ethnicities). Not looking for her to get an Mrs but I think she would like to be asked out on dates and have a boyfriend in college.

I went to a SLAC like this.

Honestly, if she 1) isn't fat, or 2) is willing to ask guys out, she'll do just fine at hooking up with guys.

There's a huge difference between hooking up vs being asked out and eventually being a girlfriend. Hooking up with randoms will almost always not lead to becoming a girlfriend (or boyfriend).

That was in the past. Hooking up is like a first date now.

No it is not. I have a son who is at a large university. Good looking kid. I'm telling you, he and his friends refuse to ask girls out on a date who just hook up with them. They do want girlfriends, but the girls they hook up with are literally just there for that and not girlfriend material to them.

So, is your son in the camp of complaining about not having a girlfriend? Using the phrase "they do want girlfriends" implies he is having trouble finding a girlfriend.

Also, if your kid attends a large university, how do you know that a girl that refuses to just hook up with him (but goes on a date) on any given night, may in fact be more than happy to hook up with some other kid that night? Maybe there is some small %age of girls who I suppose are known to hook up a ton...but doesn't the school have thousands of girls?

Yes, my son is bummed about not having a girlfriend. Finding someone you vibe with, is attracted to emotionally and physically is not easy. He hasn't found someone like that yet, but there are a number of girls that are willing to just hook up, some mistakenly thinking that it will lead them to a relationship. And who knows, maybe he and one of the hookups could have worked out but the fact that it started that way ruined it from the start. This isn't some new information; it doesn't matter that it's 2025 or that it's college. Since forever ago, if you want a man to take you seriously, don't hook up with them right away. And yes, I know there are a few examples that have defied this, but it's the general rule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD at an SLAC says all the straight males say they are “polyamorous” and the straight girls have to be okay with them seriously dating multiple girls at the same time. Yuck. She’s going to wait for the real world to start dating I guess.

So…hooking up. That’s not serious.

That’s what my boys are doing. I just tell them to use protection. It’s good for them to get it out of their system now rather than later.

Nothing wrong with casual sex for men or women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could parents or students at universities with 60/40 ratios comment on the dating scene? DD is straight (and white if that matters, but would be open to other races and ethnicities). Not looking for her to get an Mrs but I think she would like to be asked out on dates and have a boyfriend in college.

I went to a SLAC like this.

Honestly, if she 1) isn't fat, or 2) is willing to ask guys out, she'll do just fine at hooking up with guys.

There's a huge difference between hooking up vs being asked out and eventually being a girlfriend. Hooking up with randoms will almost always not lead to becoming a girlfriend (or boyfriend).

That was in the past. Hooking up is like a first date now.

No it is not. I have a son who is at a large university. Good looking kid. I'm telling you, he and his friends refuse to ask girls out on a date who just hook up with them. They do want girlfriends, but the girls they hook up with are literally just there for that and not girlfriend material to them.

So, is your son in the camp of complaining about not having a girlfriend? Using the phrase "they do want girlfriends" implies he is having trouble finding a girlfriend.

Also, if your kid attends a large university, how do you know that a girl that refuses to just hook up with him (but goes on a date) on any given night, may in fact be more than happy to hook up with some other kid that night? Maybe there is some small %age of girls who I suppose are known to hook up a ton...but doesn't the school have thousands of girls?

Yes, my son is bummed about not having a girlfriend. Finding someone you vibe with, is attracted to emotionally and physically is not easy. He hasn't found someone like that yet, but there are a number of girls that are willing to just hook up, some mistakenly thinking that it will lead them to a relationship. And who knows, maybe he and one of the hookups could have worked out but the fact that it started that way ruined it from the start. This isn't some new information; it doesn't matter that it's 2025 or that it's college. Since forever ago, if you want a man to take you seriously, don't hook up with them right away. And yes, I know there are a few examples that have defied this, but it's the general rule.

I doubt your son is unhappy. All the boys I know are having fun hooking up with tons of girls. That’s the great thing about being a good looking guy in college!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could parents or students at universities with 60/40 ratios comment on the dating scene? DD is straight (and white if that matters, but would be open to other races and ethnicities). Not looking for her to get an Mrs but I think she would like to be asked out on dates and have a boyfriend in college.

I went to a SLAC like this.

Honestly, if she 1) isn't fat, or 2) is willing to ask guys out, she'll do just fine at hooking up with guys.

There's a huge difference between hooking up vs being asked out and eventually being a girlfriend. Hooking up with randoms will almost always not lead to becoming a girlfriend (or boyfriend).

That was in the past. Hooking up is like a first date now.

No it is not. I have a son who is at a large university. Good looking kid. I'm telling you, he and his friends refuse to ask girls out on a date who just hook up with them. They do want girlfriends, but the girls they hook up with are literally just there for that and not girlfriend material to them.

So, is your son in the camp of complaining about not having a girlfriend? Using the phrase "they do want girlfriends" implies he is having trouble finding a girlfriend.

Also, if your kid attends a large university, how do you know that a girl that refuses to just hook up with him (but goes on a date) on any given night, may in fact be more than happy to hook up with some other kid that night? Maybe there is some small %age of girls who I suppose are known to hook up a ton...but doesn't the school have thousands of girls?

Yes, my son is bummed about not having a girlfriend. Finding someone you vibe with, is attracted to emotionally and physically is not easy. He hasn't found someone like that yet, but there are a number of girls that are willing to just hook up, some mistakenly thinking that it will lead them to a relationship. And who knows, maybe he and one of the hookups could have worked out but the fact that it started that way ruined it from the start. This isn't some new information; it doesn't matter that it's 2025 or that it's college. Since forever ago, if you want a man to take you seriously, don't hook up with them right away. And yes, I know there are a few examples that have defied this, but it's the general rule.

I doubt your son is unhappy. All the boys I know are having fun hooking up with tons of girls. That’s the great thing about being a good looking guy in college!

Who are these boys who are booking up with tons of girls?

I have girl twins and we talk very openly about sex, relationships, etc and neither of them or their roommates or friends are doing this so far. There was a bunch of stuff that went on during senior year in high school but they both report that there is nothing among their friends so far in college which I think both of them are surprised by.