Dating at gender-lopsided universities

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I have a daughter at one of the 5Cs and she wishes schools would balance a bit better for gender. The consortioum as a whole runs girl-heavy because one of the schools (Scripps) is all-women and then two other campuses (Pitzer and Pomona) run majority women. She says it impacts her dating life heavily and she wishes they'd enroll more men.

She said if she had to make decisions over again, she may have picked one of her other choices that was closer to 50/50.

Trump’s push to not allow gender in admissions is going to make it even worse for your daughter!

I’ve been wondering how the progressive crowd is going to react to that. Seems pro female with the demographics of the current applicants

I'm female and so is my DD and we're both liberal and DD said she only wants to attend colleges that are gender balanced (45-55 is her limit if she can't find true 50-50). She has high stats and has the potential to get into one of the many stellar women-only colleges but she doesn't want to choose that. She'd prefer better gender diversity.

Same for my daughter. Say what you will, college is a wonderful time to find a spouse.

For women, yes. For good looking guys, it’s time to get their numbers up.

You're disgusting and I feel bad for your kids.

Why do you even bother responding to someone who's obviously trolling?
DP

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Could parents or students at universities with 60/40 ratios comment on the dating scene? DD is straight (and white if that matters, but would be open to other races and ethnicities). Not looking for her to get an Mrs but I think she would like to be asked out on dates and have a boyfriend in college.

I went to a SLAC like this.

Honestly, if she 1) isn't fat, or 2) is willing to ask guys out, she'll do just fine at hooking up with guys.

There's a huge difference between hooking up vs being asked out and eventually being a girlfriend. Hooking up with randoms will almost always not lead to becoming a girlfriend (or boyfriend).

That was in the past. Hooking up is like a first date now.

No it is not. I have a son who is at a large university. Good looking kid. I'm telling you, he and his friends refuse to ask girls out on a date who just hook up with them. They do want girlfriends, but the girls they hook up with are literally just there for that and not girlfriend material to them.

So, is your son in the camp of complaining about not having a girlfriend? Using the phrase "they do want girlfriends" implies he is having trouble finding a girlfriend.

Also, if your kid attends a large university, how do you know that a girl that refuses to just hook up with him (but goes on a date) on any given night, may in fact be more than happy to hook up with some other kid that night? Maybe there is some small %age of girls who I suppose are known to hook up a ton...but doesn't the school have thousands of girls?

Yes, my son is bummed about not having a girlfriend. Finding someone you vibe with, is attracted to emotionally and physically is not easy. He hasn't found someone like that yet, but there are a number of girls that are willing to just hook up, some mistakenly thinking that it will lead them to a relationship. And who knows, maybe he and one of the hookups could have worked out but the fact that it started that way ruined it from the start. This isn't some new information; it doesn't matter that it's 2025 or that it's college. Since forever ago, if you want a man to take you seriously, don't hook up with them right away. And yes, I know there are a few examples that have defied this, but it's the general rule.

I doubt your son is unhappy. All the boys I know are having fun hooking up with tons of girls. That’s the great thing about being a good looking guy in college!

Who are these boys who are booking up with tons of girls?

I have girl twins and we talk very openly about sex, relationships, etc and neither of them or their roommates or friends are doing this so far. There was a bunch of stuff that went on during senior year in high school but they both report that there is nothing among their friends so far in college which I think both of them are surprised by.

Generally they're mostly friends with other men and are mainly only friends with women when benefits are involved. Obviously your DD won't be rooming with one and is highly unlikely to be friends with one since she presumably isn't in a FWB relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD at an SLAC says all the straight males say they are “polyamorous” and the straight girls have to be okay with them seriously dating multiple girls at the same time. Yuck. She’s going to wait for the real world to start dating I guess.

I mean…it’s hard enough to truly date one girl in college…why would you want to seriously date more than one…or do guys think women will find it more palatable to use this label on just hooking up a ton.

Hole in two!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD at an SLAC says all the straight males say they are “polyamorous” and the straight girls have to be okay with them seriously dating multiple girls at the same time. Yuck. She’s going to wait for the real world to start dating I guess.

Unless the gender ratio is worse than 66/33, it's impossible for every guy to be dating two or more girls who themselves aren't dating other guys. Your DD should stop exclusively focusing on the top x% of guys, the way other girls have done so in the past and continue to do so as was mentioned earlier in the thread.

[Anonymous]

My daughter had no desire whatsoever to attend a school that was heavily female. Can’t say I blame her a bit.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:DD at an SLAC says all the straight males say they are “polyamorous” and the straight girls have to be okay with them seriously dating multiple girls at the same time. Yuck. She’s going to wait for the real world to start dating I guess.

So…hooking up. That’s not serious.

That’s what my boys are doing. I just tell them to use protection. It’s good for them to get it out of their system now rather than later.

Nothing wrong with casual sex for men or women.

Esp for men.

If it’s ok for men then it must be ok for women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Subtract guys who barely speak English (stem) and gay guys (non-stem) and the odds get even worse.
I was at one of these colleges and guys really played the field. Fun for them.

My DD went to one. Met her now-DH. All you need is one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Specify which is 60% and which sex is 40%.

60% men
40% women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Subtract guys who barely speak English (stem) and gay guys (non-stem) and the odds get even worse.
I was at one of these colleges and guys really played the field. Fun for them.

Also subtract frat boys only into hookups and incels who only play video games. Not a lot of healthy, decent straight guys left.

It is hard, OP. My DDs both found it tough and both are sociable and pretty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD at an SLAC says all the straight males say they are “polyamorous” and the straight girls have to be okay with them seriously dating multiple girls at the same time. Yuck. She’s going to wait for the real world to start dating I guess.

Unless the gender ratio is worse than 66/33, it's impossible for every guy to be dating two or more girls who themselves aren't dating other guys. Your DD should stop exclusively focusing on the top x% of guys, the way other girls have done so in the past and continue to do so as was mentioned earlier in the thread.

Even if the ratio is 60:40 F:M, it’s still bad. Small imbalances can have a large impact on the dating scene.

If you assume half the men will find a partner, then the pool of singles is going to be 40:20 or 2:1 F:M.

That’s also going to mean the most eligible bachelors are off the marked and less desirable potential partners are left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter had no desire whatsoever to attend a school that was heavily female. Can’t say I blame her a bit.

+1
Same with both of my daughters. They attend schools that are either 50/50 of slightly more men than women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter had no desire whatsoever to attend a school that was heavily female. Can’t say I blame her a bit.

+1
Same with both of my daughters. They attend schools that are either 50/50 of slightly more men than women.

Which schools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter had no desire whatsoever to attend a school that was heavily female. Can’t say I blame her a bit.

+1
Same with both of my daughters. They attend schools that are either 50/50 of slightly more men than women.

Which schools?

VT and Penn State.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Subtract guys who barely speak English (stem) and gay guys (non-stem) and the odds get even worse.
I was at one of these colleges and guys really played the field. Fun for them.

So gay men can’t be in stem? International students can’t be in humanities?

You could have just said to subtract non-English speakers (although I don’t see why a woman can’t date an international student) and gay men and left out the stupid stereotypes.

Of course gay men can be in stem but they are VERY common in certain non-stem majors.
I was at an international-heavy state school and I never knew a single couple that was foreign man + American woman but the reverse was everywhere. So your daughter will also be competing with hundreds of Chinese ladies bringng their A game.