Confession - I never had an issue with alcohol before I had kids
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Anonymous
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Sure I used to get drunk sometimes in my 20s; but it was when I had my first a decade ago that my stress level got so high that I would start to have a glass of wine - for example - at home alone. I had no family nearby - I had a full time job, ds had issues. And in that decade - nothing has changed. I still am responsible for the lions share of things with my kids and work full time and don’t have a village.
I say this bc as it pertains to the warning today - that for me (parenting) was the tipping point. And it’s not about - hahah ‘mommy wine!’ - it’s - ‘oh holy cow - every hour of my day is kind of stressful now - how do I not burn out so much that I need to quit my job?’ Anyone else relate? |
Anonymous
| How many drinks of alcohol in a week? |
Anonymous
Op - I should have added that the only issue I have with alcohol now is that I am a moderate drinker which is apparently not good per Vivek Murthy. Have about 7-8 drinks a week and never feel bad or hungover. But it does feel like this hugely helpful calm down tool which I never needed pre kids and also - while it would be fine in theory, now we are told it is carcinogenic. It never for me has caused issues except that I have noticed I want/ need a glass of wine in a way I didn’t pre kids and also bc health |
Anonymous
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How old are your kids? Is it time for them to help with chores? I would start that early. My teens have been doing the dishes and their own laundry for years now and it’s helped with my stress level so much. Start young and they’ll work their way up in competence.
What can you cut back on? Some families insist on language school, kumon, piano lessons, travel teams—to the detriment of the parents’ health. What is something small you can do to change that? How’s your sleep? |
Anonymous
| Neither did my sister. She became an alcoholic after the third kid. She started drinking wine every evening to help relax and before long, was drinking every afternoon. She’s been sober four years now after two rehab stints. |
Anonymous
| I’m the exact opposite. My kids kick my ass when I’m fully sober - drunk I have no chance against them. Even on vacation it pool me years before I could have even one or two drinks with them. |
Anonymous
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Honestly, I drink a fair amount in the evening after the kids are in bed and it's not a problem.
My career is going well. Family life is fine. Kids are in good shape. People on DCUM love to to hate on drinking, but I feel like it's just weak-minded people that just can't handle life. I'm sorry you can't enjoy wine + life. Too bad for you. |
Anonymous
Same. I almost completely stopped drinking after kids. I’ve got 3 young boys, I need all the energy I can get. OP, I’m not in the same situation but I do think yours is not an uncommon situation to be in. It sounds like you could really do with some more personal time to decompress. Whether it’s working out, laying in bed with a book, etc you need to demand the time to take care of yourself so you don’t have to take shortcuts to regulate. I don’t know what needs to happen to allow for this but, while I get that things are busy, your needs shouldn’t come last |
Anonymous
| I don’t get it. Doesn’t alcohol make your life MORE stressful? I don’t quite buy your story. |
Anonymous
OP is sharing she has an “issue” with alcohol so your defensive commentary isn’t exactly helpful |
Anonymous
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I think that if you need a drink every day of the week, then it is time to talk to your doctor about anti-anxiety medication.
Everyone I know that has stopped drinking has told me they feel 1000x better now that they are not drinking. Even if, like you, they were only having one or two glasses of wine a night. |
Anonymous
YOU think it's not a problem, PP. Just you. |
Anonymous
The scary thing is that I bet you manage a team at work. You are ignorant and arrogant and your coworkers must be thrilled about that. |
Anonymous
| Poor liver… |
Anonymous
Yes, you definitely sound like you have it all together. |