Confession - I never had an issue with alcohol before I had kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many drinks of alcohol in a week?

No one on DCUM should ever answer this, because the only response, no matter what the quantity, will be “you are an alcoholic.”

[Anonymous]

Don’t you ever worry that something will happen and you won’t be able to drive? I’m a single parent and I never drank because of this.

[Anonymous]

Right there with you, OP. I used to drink just socially, although often too much (because hey, we were young and 3-4 glasses was nbd). Then I had a kid with colic and a glass of wine, perhaps in the bath, was the easiest way to get a little me time and relax. So it became a habit, especially during the pre-Covid years where I had the daily grind of school drop off, rush to the office, rush home and get dinner on the table, etc. luckily, I don’t have a genetic tendency towards physical addiction, so it never got more than a glass a day. And like you, I didn’t do anything for awhile because we were told that a glass of red wine was okay, perhaps good for us. But now that I’m in menopause I think it affects me more and I’m trying to dial it back and figure out a new way of drinking where it’s occasional and not just habit. Luckily, the kids are older and one is off to college so I have a lot more me time to do other things to wind down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I drink a fair amount in the evening after the kids are in bed and it's not a problem.

My career is going well. Family life is fine. Kids are in good shape.

People on DCUM love to to hate on drinking, but I feel like it's just weak-minded people that just can't handle life. I'm sorry you can't enjoy wine + life. Too bad for you.

You sound like someone I know. Everyone knows she has an alcohol problem - except her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it. Doesn’t alcohol make your life MORE stressful? I don’t quite buy your story.

How would alcohol make her life more stressful? That makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it. Doesn’t alcohol make your life MORE stressful? I don’t quite buy your story.

How would alcohol make her life more stressful? That makes no sense.

Being hungover the next day would be a pretty big problem. How do you deal with your kids like that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it. Doesn’t alcohol make your life MORE stressful? I don’t quite buy your story.

How would alcohol make her life more stressful? That makes no sense.

Being hungover the next day would be a pretty big problem. How do you deal with your kids like that?

One glass of wine gives very few people a hangover.

[Anonymous]

You need to learn better coping mechanisms. There are tons of alcoholics floating around who have no idea they have a serious problem and call it "normal." It's not normal. Therapy to start? Meds? How old are your kids?

[Anonymous]

You have an anxiety disorder that you're medicating with alcohol. It's normal for people with anxiety disorders to have symptoms worsen with age.

Please wake up and talk to a psychiatrist about actual pharmaceuticals. If for some reason medication does not work for you (it doesn't for me), get a therapist and seriously commit to meditation and paring down your schedule. This is what I've done.

Otherwise alcohol is going to ruin your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure I used to get drunk sometimes in my 20s; but it was when I had my first a decade ago that my stress level got so high that I would start to have a glass of wine - for example - at home alone. I had no family nearby - I had a full time job, ds had issues. And in that decade - nothing has changed. I still am responsible for the lions share of things with my kids and work full time and don’t have a village.
I say this bc as it pertains to the warning today - that for me (parenting) was the tipping point. And it’s not about - hahah ‘mommy wine!’ - it’s - ‘oh holy cow - every hour of my day is kind of stressful now - how do I not burn out so much that I need to quit my job?’

Anyone else relate?

Sorry this will seem hard but you need to wake up. See it is not really the kids or handling it better in your 20’s because you were drink by yourself before the kids. You had and still have an issue with alcohol. You were drinking alone and drinking to escape. Drinking does not remove stress. You justify your drinking because you like the way it makes you feel. Now you are just 10 to 20 years down the line and alcohol is taking its toll. It will only get worst as move time pass.

You will always find away to make excuses for drinking.

[Anonymous]

Your life is hard. I get it. You deserve support.

But that's not why you are an alcoholic. It's why you have trouble fighting your alcoholism. It was easy to be a functional alcoholic before you had adult responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t you ever worry that something will happen and you won’t be able to drive? I’m a single parent and I never drank because of this.

Op - I have a glass of wine after the kids are in bed so it doesn’t impact my ability to parent them when they are awake or drive. If emergency, we live in nyc so would not drive anyway

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have an anxiety disorder that you're medicating with alcohol. It's normal for people with anxiety disorders to have symptoms worsen with age.

Please wake up and talk to a psychiatrist about actual pharmaceuticals. If for some reason medication does not work for you (it doesn't for me), get a therapist and seriously commit to meditation and paring down your schedule. This is what I've done.

Otherwise alcohol is going to ruin your life.

Op - I have tried ssris but none have really worked. All caused weight gain and feeling of being numb.

I would gently push back on it ruining my life. It actually has no deleterious affect on me but my concern is physical health

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it. Doesn’t alcohol make your life MORE stressful? I don’t quite buy your story.

How would alcohol make her life more stressful? That makes no sense.

Being hungover the next day would be a pretty big problem. How do you deal with your kids like that?

Op - I’m never hungover bc I don’t drink that much

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right there with you, OP. I used to drink just socially, although often too much (because hey, we were young and 3-4 glasses was nbd). Then I had a kid with colic and a glass of wine, perhaps in the bath, was the easiest way to get a little me time and relax. So it became a habit, especially during the pre-Covid years where I had the daily grind of school drop off, rush to the office, rush home and get dinner on the table, etc. luckily, I don’t have a genetic tendency towards physical addiction, so it never got more than a glass a day. And like you, I didn’t do anything for awhile because we were told that a glass of red wine was okay, perhaps good for us. But now that I’m in menopause I think it affects me more and I’m trying to dial it back and figure out a new way of drinking where it’s occasional and not just habit. Luckily, the kids are older and one is off to college so I have a lot more me time to do other things to wind down.

Right - life with young kids when you work is just grind. Wake up early, school and breakfast then work often at place you don’t like, come home and be a good mom for 4 hours and then go to bed.