Smug Catholic school

[Anonymous]

Our friends switched their DD and DS from our local public to Catholic school this year and won't stop trashing the public. Our kids still go there and we are happy with it! They have made comments about how there are fewer kids with IEPs and behavioral issues and that the education is better. They have even said we are going to have to supplement for our kids to keep pace with theirs.

I'm glad they're happy but I find these comments totally obnoxious and it makes me want to stop seeing them. I also don't know now you determine that the education is superior less than a month in. I am kind of dumbfounded that they have said this multiple times.

Am I off base to find this obnoxious? I want to address this directly the next time. Like "hey I'm glad you're happy but we have chosen to stay at the school and it's not cool that you keep disparaging it." Or should I just ignore?

[Anonymous]

It’s super obnoxious.

And if it makes you feel any better, both my kids went to a Catholic HS after elementary school and they were way ahead the kids who came from the parochial schools in math and language. In fact, at the year end prize ceremony in ninth grade, all of the winners of academic prizes had come from public. So, you may get to be smug back some day!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s super obnoxious.

And if it makes you feel any better, both my kids went to a Catholic HS after elementary school and they were way ahead the kids who came from the parochial schools in math and language. In fact, at the year end prize ceremony in ninth grade, all of the winners of academic prizes had come from public. So, you may get to be smug back some day!

Ha!! I love that. The IEPs and behavioral issues bring strikes a nerve too because one of my DCs has an IEP... just seems really tone deaf. They aren't usually mean people so I don't get it.

[Anonymous]

More like smug private school parents.

I would not hang out with them for awhile.

[Anonymous]

Very obnoxious. Stop seeing them, you will grow apart anyway, so just ghost them.

[Anonymous]

Some schools foster this behavior. It comes from the top down.

[Anonymous]

They are glad their kids are finally getting educated too, not just the outliers. If you’re not happy for them cut them off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are glad their kids are finally getting educated too, not just the outliers. If you’re not happy for them cut them off.

What does this mean?

[Anonymous]

Just try to ignore. The parents probably don’t understand that the public school environment that their kids found too chaotic is energizing to other types of kids. Their kids will probably be ahead of yours in grammar. Yours will probably be ahead of theirs in math.

[Anonymous]

it's super uncatholic of them to not care about kids with IEP's. They aren't really catholic in their thoughts and behaviors, and they are not kind. What are you really getting out of the relationship? I would just say I love that the public schools educate everyone and don't discriminate but am happy you are so happy at your school and then just move on.

[Anonymous]

We just switched our kids to private and try to be quick to emphasize that the switch was about what fits our family, if it even comes up. I am thrilled to hear about how our friends' kids or kids' friends still in public are loving their school year this year. And loving the year are about all the reports I've heard.

People who are smug about this would be annoying about something else if it wasn't school. They've shown you who they are. You decide how much you want to spend time with them moving forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s super obnoxious.

And if it makes you feel any better, both my kids went to a Catholic HS after elementary school and they were way ahead the kids who came from the parochial schools in math and language. In fact, at the year end prize ceremony in ninth grade, all of the winners of academic prizes had come from public. So, you may get to be smug back some day!

Ha!! I love that. The IEPs and behavioral issues bring strikes a nerve too because one of my DCs has an IEP... just seems really tone deaf. They aren't usually mean people so I don't get it.

Wow this makes it even worse. Whatever academic “gains” these kids are making are likely watered down by the lack of empathy and social tact they are seeing in the home.

Also the fact they are so insistent on talking about this makes me think it’s a source of insecurity for them. People do not tend to ruminate on things they are happy and confident about. There is something about this switch to private that is making them feel the need to aggressively prove it was the right move. Like maybe they are having to cut back a lot of expenses to make this work so they really need it to be “worth it.”

[Anonymous]

They're probably in a honeymoon period. I would respond with a comment like the one you suggested. They're being tactless, but over time, you'll probably both have plenty of ups and downs.

[Anonymous]

OP, you can/should have a preference to not accept rude behavior. (It is not about whether or not their observations are true) They do not get to be rude. Speak once, firmly, and if behavior doesn't immediately change, drop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are glad their kids are finally getting educated too, not just the outliers. If you’re not happy for them cut them off.

Op here. I am happy for them that they are happy and if public wasn't a fit for their kids, good for them for finding something that is.

But I think it borders on chumpish for me to let someone basically say that I am satisfied with my kids getting an inferior education. My one child would likely not be welcome at a parochial school because he has SN.