Smug Catholic school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are glad their kids are finally getting educated too, not just the outliers. If you’re not happy for them cut them off.

Op here. I am happy for them that they are happy and if public wasn't a fit for their kids, good for them for finding something that is.

But I think it borders on chumpish for me to let someone basically say that I am satisfied with my kids getting an inferior education. My one child would likely not be welcome at a parochial school because he has SN.

Of course that was going to be the case. Your kid has more rights and gets a larger portion of the resources at school. Your friends recognized that and did what was best for their kids. Everyone wants what’s best for their own kid. If you begrudge them that then you were never a good friend.

Of course what was going to be the case? You really believe that a kid with speech a couple times a week and push in help is diminishing your child's education? I don't begrudge them anything but yes I think making a blanket statement that the presence of kids with IEPs diminished educational quality for other kids is problematic.

There are a finite number or resources in a public school. You can’t deny that the explosion for IEPs and 504s have had no impact on the budget. The cuts come from somewhere.

You can hold this point of view and act on it, but it is a different thing entirely to disparage other family's choices the way the OP describes. Do you really think the OP's friends behavior is defensible?

DP. Both things can be true. My kid had an IEP. Services throughout the county are stretched thin. As for the friends? I would ditch them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our friends switched their DD and DS from our local public to Catholic school this year and won't stop trashing the public. Our kids still go there and we are happy with it! They have made comments about how there are fewer kids with IEPs and behavioral issues and that the education is better. They have even said we are going to have to supplement for our kids to keep pace with theirs.

I'm glad they're happy but I find these comments totally obnoxious and it makes me want to stop seeing them. I also don't know now you determine that the education is superior less than a month in. I am kind of dumbfounded that they have said this multiple times.

Am I off base to find this obnoxious? I want to address this directly the next time. Like "hey I'm glad you're happy but we have chosen to stay at the school and it's not cool that you keep disparaging it." Or should I just ignore?

Do you still want to be friends? If so, than speak up and say hey you do realize we are sending our children to 'that crappy school' Please knock it off. Happy you have changed for your kids but you are being rude ( or something like this)

If you don't want to be friends...ignore and than don't make plans with them

This. You have to let them know what they’re saying isn’t okay and you’re not going to discuss schools with them if they can’t be civil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who say stuff like this are really still trying to convince themselves that the switch was the right move. They're feeling insecure even though it feels like they're being smug.

Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better.

Found the smug poster.

So, only some people are allowed to be ok with their school? Did OP even know her friends were unhappy and the school didn’t meet their needs? If she did she might be able to muster a little happiness for them. But, instead it’s all about her kids. If her kids needs are met, what’s the problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who say stuff like this are really still trying to convince themselves that the switch was the right move. They're feeling insecure even though it feels like they're being smug.

Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better.

dp Well, in general it is true. If you are happy with your choice you don't put other people's choices down.

You can express relief. OP only feels a certain way because her child’s speech needs were met. Did she care at all that her friends had a different experience? It’s equally dismissive to tell friends “well, it works for me!” When they express concern or dissatisfaction. Public school doesn’t serve everyone equally but there seems to be a mentality of “well at least I got mine!” If it does work. These friends obviously don’t care or support each other and are best going separate ways.

[Anonymous]

In my experience people who brag like this are extremely insecure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who say stuff like this are really still trying to convince themselves that the switch was the right move. They're feeling insecure even though it feels like they're being smug.

Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better.

dp Well, in general it is true. If you are happy with your choice you don't put other people's choices down.

You can express relief. OP only feels a certain way because her child’s speech needs were met. Did she care at all that her friends had a different experience? It’s equally dismissive to tell friends “well, it works for me!” When they express concern or dissatisfaction. Public school doesn’t serve everyone equally but there seems to be a mentality of “well at least I got mine!” If it does work. These friends obviously don’t care or support each other and are best going separate ways.

It's perfectly acceptable to be relieved your child is getting an education you appreciate and happy a friend is happy for their child's education. There are ways to express both at once instead of "I'm so glad my kids are getting the superior education!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who say stuff like this are really still trying to convince themselves that the switch was the right move. They're feeling insecure even though it feels like they're being smug.

Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better.

dp Well, in general it is true. If you are happy with your choice you don't put other people's choices down.

You can express relief. OP only feels a certain way because her child’s speech needs were met. Did she care at all that her friends had a different experience? It’s equally dismissive to tell friends “well, it works for me!” When they express concern or dissatisfaction. Public school doesn’t serve everyone equally but there seems to be a mentality of “well at least I got mine!” If it does work. These friends obviously don’t care or support each other and are best going separate ways.

It's perfectly acceptable to be relieved your child is getting an education you appreciate and happy a friend is happy for their child's education. There are ways to express both at once instead of "I'm so glad my kids are getting the superior education!"

Maybe that’s why they left the old school in the first place. If academics were the problem wouldn’t you expect them to say they are happy with the academics at the new school? This all really depends on why they left in the first place. Clearly there was a problem they were addressing. OP doesn’t seem happy they found a solution.

[Anonymous]

I actually wonder if they think you suspect they left public because it was too diverse or too woke, and this is their way of signaling it was 100% about education lest you not think they are of the preferred political persuasion.

[Anonymous]

The appropriate response is “ you know my kids still go there right” said with a dumbfounded and indignant look on your face.
Or you could say “ I would hope so given that you’re paying for it”

My kid goes to Christian after being in public and I would never say anything like your friend….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my experience people who brag like this are extremely insecure.

^^ this.

[Anonymous]

If you’re titling your thread “smug Catholic school” when your complaint has nothing to do with the school then maybe you went to a bad public school yourself? 😆

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually wonder if they think you suspect they left public because it was too diverse or too woke, and this is their way of signaling it was 100% about education lest you not think they are of the preferred political persuasion.

It’s weird that supposed friends don’t talk about their issues and concerns and somehow this is all coming out as a surprise to OP. Makes me think OP is trolling. Given the shitty subject and all, as if a school can be smug.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who say stuff like this are really still trying to convince themselves that the switch was the right move. They're feeling insecure even though it feels like they're being smug.

Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better.

Found the smug poster.

So, only some people are allowed to be ok with their school? Did OP even know her friends were unhappy and the school didn’t meet their needs? If she did she might be able to muster a little happiness for them. But, instead it’s all about her kids. If her kids needs are met, what’s the problem?

It’s very clear from the original post that the friends keep putting down the public school, where OP’s kids still are. Not sure what is hard to understand about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our friends switched their DD and DS from our local public to Catholic school this year and won't stop trashing the public. Our kids still go there and we are happy with it! They have made comments about how there are fewer kids with IEPs and behavioral issues and that the education is better. They have even said we are going to have to supplement for our kids to keep pace with theirs.

I'm glad they're happy but I find these comments totally obnoxious and it makes me want to stop seeing them. I also don't know now you determine that the education is superior less than a month in. I am kind of dumbfounded that they have said this multiple times.

Am I off base to find this obnoxious? I want to address this directly the next time. Like "hey I'm glad you're happy but we have chosen to stay at the school and it's not cool that you keep disparaging it." Or should I just ignore?

This is all a front to cover up how they really feel about their kids' new school. They had no idea how elitist and cliquish it would be, and now that they are outsiders getting the cold shoulder, they are trying to make themselves feel better at your expense. They are right about the behavior issues, but it's hard to say if they are right about the academics. I have seen it go both ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who say stuff like this are really still trying to convince themselves that the switch was the right move. They're feeling insecure even though it feels like they're being smug.

Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better.

Found the smug poster.

So, only some people are allowed to be ok with their school? Did OP even know her friends were unhappy and the school didn’t meet their needs? If she did she might be able to muster a little happiness for them. But, instead it’s all about her kids. If her kids needs are met, what’s the problem?

It’s very clear from the original post that the friends keep putting down the public school, where OP’s kids still are. Not sure what is hard to understand about that.

OP never said why they left in the first place. That matters.