Smug Catholic school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are glad their kids are finally getting educated too, not just the outliers. If you’re not happy for them cut them off.

Op here. I am happy for them that they are happy and if public wasn't a fit for their kids, good for them for finding something that is.

But I think it borders on chumpish for me to let someone basically say that I am satisfied with my kids getting an inferior education. My one child would likely not be welcome at a parochial school because he has SN.

Of course that was going to be the case. Your kid has more rights and gets a larger portion of the resources at school. Your friends recognized that and did what was best for their kids. Everyone wants what’s best for their own kid. If you begrudge them that then you were never a good friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are glad their kids are finally getting educated too, not just the outliers. If you’re not happy for them cut them off.

Op here. I am happy for them that they are happy and if public wasn't a fit for their kids, good for them for finding something that is.

But I think it borders on chumpish for me to let someone basically say that I am satisfied with my kids getting an inferior education. My one child would likely not be welcome at a parochial school because he has SN.

I don’t know your child’s special needs, but don’t assume they would not be welcome. There are a lot of IEPs at our Catholic school. The archdiocese started a program to include and support children with Downs Syndrome in Catholic schools. But as with a lot of Catholic schools, there are fewer resource teachers or teachers equipped to help as well as public schools can. But it doesn’t follow that they are unwelcome.

[Anonymous]

People who say stuff like this are really still trying to convince themselves that the switch was the right move. They're feeling insecure even though it feels like they're being smug.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who say stuff like this are really still trying to convince themselves that the switch was the right move. They're feeling insecure even though it feels like they're being smug.

Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are glad their kids are finally getting educated too, not just the outliers. If you’re not happy for them cut them off.

Op here. I am happy for them that they are happy and if public wasn't a fit for their kids, good for them for finding something that is.

But I think it borders on chumpish for me to let someone basically say that I am satisfied with my kids getting an inferior education. My one child would likely not be welcome at a parochial school because he has SN.

Of course that was going to be the case. Your kid has more rights and gets a larger portion of the resources at school. Your friends recognized that and did what was best for their kids. Everyone wants what’s best for their own kid. If you begrudge them that then you were never a good friend.

Of course what was going to be the case? You really believe that a kid with speech a couple times a week and push in help is diminishing your child's education? I don't begrudge them anything but yes I think making a blanket statement that the presence of kids with IEPs diminished educational quality for other kids is problematic.

[Anonymous]

Catholic works for us because we are Catholic (Confirmation prep included in the curriculum!) and our child thrives in smaller class sizes/cohort. I wouldn't be smug about it though. It doesn't work for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are glad their kids are finally getting educated too, not just the outliers. If you’re not happy for them cut them off.

Op here. I am happy for them that they are happy and if public wasn't a fit for their kids, good for them for finding something that is.

But I think it borders on chumpish for me to let someone basically say that I am satisfied with my kids getting an inferior education. My one child would likely not be welcome at a parochial school because he has SN.

Of course that was going to be the case. Your kid has more rights and gets a larger portion of the resources at school. Your friends recognized that and did what was best for their kids. Everyone wants what’s best for their own kid. If you begrudge them that then you were never a good friend.

Of course what was going to be the case? You really believe that a kid with speech a couple times a week and push in help is diminishing your child's education? I don't begrudge them anything but yes I think making a blanket statement that the presence of kids with IEPs diminished educational quality for other kids is problematic.

There are a finite number or resources in a public school. You can’t deny that the explosion for IEPs and 504s have had no impact on the budget. The cuts come from somewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are glad their kids are finally getting educated too, not just the outliers. If you’re not happy for them cut them off.

Op here. I am happy for them that they are happy and if public wasn't a fit for their kids, good for them for finding something that is.

But I think it borders on chumpish for me to let someone basically say that I am satisfied with my kids getting an inferior education. My one child would likely not be welcome at a parochial school because he has SN.

Of course that was going to be the case. Your kid has more rights and gets a larger portion of the resources at school. Your friends recognized that and did what was best for their kids. Everyone wants what’s best for their own kid. If you begrudge them that then you were never a good friend.

Of course what was going to be the case? You really believe that a kid with speech a couple times a week and push in help is diminishing your child's education? I don't begrudge them anything but yes I think making a blanket statement that the presence of kids with IEPs diminished educational quality for other kids is problematic.

There are a finite number or resources in a public school. You can’t deny that the explosion for IEPs and 504s have had no impact on the budget. The cuts come from somewhere.

You can hold this point of view and act on it, but it is a different thing entirely to disparage other family's choices the way the OP describes. Do you really think the OP's friends behavior is defensible?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who say stuff like this are really still trying to convince themselves that the switch was the right move. They're feeling insecure even though it feels like they're being smug.

Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better.

Found the smug poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are glad their kids are finally getting educated too, not just the outliers. If you’re not happy for them cut them off.

Op here. I am happy for them that they are happy and if public wasn't a fit for their kids, good for them for finding something that is.

But I think it borders on chumpish for me to let someone basically say that I am satisfied with my kids getting an inferior education. My one child would likely not be welcome at a parochial school because he has SN.

Seems like you can respond with something that supports them while countering the inferior part, like, "I am so glad you've found a place providing your kids with an education that works best for them. We are thrilled with how the education at <X> is working for our family as well" and try to redirect the conversation. If they want to get into a contest over their school having better whatever (writing and grammar would be big for parochials), just don't. Keep redirecting. If it gets too tiresome limit how often you see them or just directly tell them, "I'd rather talk about something else other than the differences between schools. What is your family up to this weekend?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just try to ignore. The parents probably don’t understand that the public school environment that their kids found too chaotic is energizing to other types of kids. Their kids will probably be ahead of yours in grammar. Yours will probably be ahead of theirs in math.

+1. Catholic schools can also run the gamut on educational quality. Some are elite and others are extremely mediocre, it is early in the school year and in their time there for them to be claiming everything is wonderful.

[Anonymous]

Yes, they are being ridiculous and rude.

Also, your subject line is misleading.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our friends switched their DD and DS from our local public to Catholic school this year and won't stop trashing the public. Our kids still go there and we are happy with it! They have made comments about how there are fewer kids with IEPs and behavioral issues and that the education is better. They have even said we are going to have to supplement for our kids to keep pace with theirs.

I'm glad they're happy but I find these comments totally obnoxious and it makes me want to stop seeing them. I also don't know now you determine that the education is superior less than a month in. I am kind of dumbfounded that they have said this multiple times.

Am I off base to find this obnoxious? I want to address this directly the next time. Like "hey I'm glad you're happy but we have chosen to stay at the school and it's not cool that you keep disparaging it." Or should I just ignore?

Do you still want to be friends? If so, than speak up and say hey you do realize we are sending our children to 'that crappy school' Please knock it off. Happy you have changed for your kids but you are being rude ( or something like this)

If you don't want to be friends...ignore and than don't make plans with them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who say stuff like this are really still trying to convince themselves that the switch was the right move. They're feeling insecure even though it feels like they're being smug.

Nah, I just think they are socially inept.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who say stuff like this are really still trying to convince themselves that the switch was the right move. They're feeling insecure even though it feels like they're being smug.

Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better.

dp Well, in general it is true. If you are happy with your choice you don't put other people's choices down.