Husband and toddler both won’t eat what I cook

[Anonymous]

Let me start off my saying I’m somewhat of a health nut. I try to eat clean and mainly use whole, organic ingredients. I’m not a good cook but I’d rather eat something that is healthy for sustenance than something that is delicious but unhealthy. Stuff I make at home are usual stir fries with veggies and lean meat, baked chicken, marinated pork chops with veggies, and soups and stews with tons of veggies and lean meat.

My husband on the other hand loves junk food. He is in his 40s but still enjoys McDonalds. He goes to places like Burger King, 5 guys, Buffalo Wild Wings, and papa John’s multiple times a week. At the risk of sound like a snob, I never ate at places like that before meeting him. To me it’s junk food filled with empty calories, bad oils, and low quality ingredients. He also enjoys higher quality restaurants like the Great American chains where he can get ribs, burgers and steaks there but it’s not feasible for our budget and schedule to get takeout from restaurants like that everyday.

As far as fast food goes, I’m okay with getting Chipotle, kabobs from Moby Dicks and Panda Express maybe 2-3x a week. That’s something my husband and I can eat together. I like going out to eat too but I prefer sushi and lighter fares like Thai. I just can’t stand eating greasy fried carb rich foods and fatty meats all the time, but that’s what my husband wants most of the time. Basically, my husband thinks restaurants like True Food Kitchen is disgusting but I really appreciate a restaurant that serves up ultra healthy foods even though it may not taste as good as a regular restaurant.

To make matters worse my 2 year old son is also an extremely picky eater. Some days he’ll only eat crackers. I try to cook healthy foods for him like meatballs in homemade marinara sauce filled with veggies, chilis, fresh banana pancakes, etc but it gets rejected most of the time which is extremely frustrating but at least I will eat the stuff I make so it doesn’t go to waste. My husband will not eat the stuff I cook for my son because it’s too bland and “healthy” so often times he’ll order pizza and wings instead.

Sorry for the long rant but I guess I just feel grossed out by how unhealthy my husband eats and I also feel rejected that he won’t eat the food I cook 90% of the time. Should I try to cater my cooking to suit him better? However I want my toddler to eat healthy too so my recipes will be on the clean side and it’s exhausting enough trying to cook something my toddler will eat let alone my husband. I don’t want to have to cook something separate for my husband and have him reject it too so he’s been getting takeout almost every meal everyday and I feel kinda guilty about how much junk he’s eating.

To top it off, he’s also goes off and on this keto diet where he only eats meat so he’s getting ribs, wings, burger patties and chik fila salads and fried chicken all the time. When he’s off the diet he just wants to splurge and tells me to pick up cakes, donuts, pizzas, and all kinds of junk for him when I go shopping and I feel like an enabler. I just feel disgusted (am I being judgmental because I’m sort of a health nut?), exasperated and i don't know what to do.

[Anonymous]

Skip the lean meats. Fats are healthy, despite what big pharma says.

Growing kids need a lot of fat also for brain development. What they don't need excessive amounts of are carbs.

[Anonymous]

Sit down together and look through recipes that you would both like.

[Anonymous]

You admit you're not a great cook. The types of food you're making sound like things a man like that would eat, if they had more flavor and felt heartier. You should watch some YouTube videos and read recipes and learn how to cook/season the food better. Those recipes should work with his keto diet too. Just make sure the food isn't all bland and boiled or cooked with zero butter or oil. You should also make more separate things... so make a veggie stir fry and you eat it with lean meat while he has a thick steak. Chicken, pork chops, and stews all sound fine, but maybe add mashed potatoes that you don't eat (make with cauliflower when he's on keto, with loads of butter and cream).

[Anonymous]

crackers, pasta and pancakes are not healthy for anyone, especially a toddler, but sometimes you have to give them what they want until they get a little older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Skip the lean meats. Fats are healthy, despite what big pharma says.

Growing kids need a lot of fat also for brain development. What they don't need excessive amounts of are carbs.

OP here. I eat a mix of lean and semi fatty meats like 85% fat ground beef. I sear the beef and drain the excess fat. I make chili with 85% fat turkey. I like rib eye steaks too but no more than 1-2x a week and I trim off the excess fat. I like buffalo wings too but not several times a week like my husband. I just don’t enjoy extremely fatty and charred foods like ribs on a regular basis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You admit you're not a great cook. The types of food you're making sound like things a man like that would eat, if they had more flavor and felt heartier. You should watch some YouTube videos and read recipes and learn how to cook/season the food better. Those recipes should work with his keto diet too. Just make sure the food isn't all bland and boiled or cooked with zero butter or oil. You should also make more separate things... so make a veggie stir fry and you eat it with lean meat while he has a thick steak. Chicken, pork chops, and stews all sound fine, but maybe add mashed potatoes that you don't eat (make with cauliflower when he's on keto, with loads of butter and cream).

Yup I could step up my cooking game. I’m just not gonna be able to cook restaurant style food which seems to be what he wants. I’m not making French fries at home but I can make baked potato wedges with olive oil and seasoning… but my husband often declines that.

[Anonymous]

Stop eating steak twice a week - that's nuts and a heart attack waiting to happen. You need to get better at cooking. Make sweet potato fries (or buy frozen at TJs or Whole Foods). Cut carrots into fry shape, mix with EVOO and sea salt and roast - they'll taste like sweet potato fries. No need to fry in a vat of oil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You admit you're not a great cook. The types of food you're making sound like things a man like that would eat, if they had more flavor and felt heartier. You should watch some YouTube videos and read recipes and learn how to cook/season the food better. Those recipes should work with his keto diet too. Just make sure the food isn't all bland and boiled or cooked with zero butter or oil. You should also make more separate things... so make a veggie stir fry and you eat it with lean meat while he has a thick steak. Chicken, pork chops, and stews all sound fine, but maybe add mashed potatoes that you don't eat (make with cauliflower when he's on keto, with loads of butter and cream).

Yup I could step up my cooking game. I’m just not gonna be able to cook restaurant style food which seems to be what he wants. I’m not making French fries at home but I can make baked potato wedges with olive oil and seasoning… but my husband often declines that.

Nobody can make restaurant food at home, nor do we want to. It's good for a treat but it's got ungodly amounts of salt and butter. I don't ever deep fry at home either.

I agree with previous posters that you can learn to season better and use herbs/onions/garlic for flavor too. But your husband needs to stop having a child's palate and meet you halfway as well.

Finally, no more buying cakes and donuts. That's the real garbage. Learn to make a few homemade baked goods.

I'm smh at a full-grown man who just indulges his every tastebud whim. It's juvenile. OP, where / how did he grow up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You admit you're not a great cook. The types of food you're making sound like things a man like that would eat, if they had more flavor and felt heartier. You should watch some YouTube videos and read recipes and learn how to cook/season the food better. Those recipes should work with his keto diet too. Just make sure the food isn't all bland and boiled or cooked with zero butter or oil. You should also make more separate things... so make a veggie stir fry and you eat it with lean meat while he has a thick steak. Chicken, pork chops, and stews all sound fine, but maybe add mashed potatoes that you don't eat (make with cauliflower when he's on keto, with loads of butter and cream).

Yup I could step up my cooking game. I’m just not gonna be able to cook restaurant style food which seems to be what he wants. I’m not making French fries at home but I can make baked potato wedges with olive oil and seasoning… but my husband often declines that.

Nobody can make restaurant food at home, nor do we want to. It's good for a treat but it's got ungodly amounts of salt and butter. I don't ever deep fry at home either.

I agree with previous posters that you can learn to season better and use herbs/onions/garlic for flavor too. But your husband needs to stop having a child's palate and meet you halfway as well.

Finally, no more buying cakes and donuts. That's the real garbage. Learn to make a few homemade baked goods.

I'm smh at a full-grown man who just indulges his every tastebud whim. It's juvenile. OP, where / how did he grow up?

Exactly, that’s why I try to cook clean at home. I could get better with searing, marinating and seasoning. My husband just hates healthy versions of stuff, like baked potato wedges instead of fries, or like a homemade banana bread instead of a chocolate cake from Safeway. That’s why I am disgusted by how he eats. He grew up eating his mom’s cooking but left home at 20 and ate tons junk food after that. Like I said he does enjoy steakhouses and higher quality restaurants but I am not going to be able to cook as well as that and I think it’s gonna to the point he doesn’t even want to try what I make because he knows he won’t like it and I’m so defeated that I don’t try to make it more palatable for him by adding more oils and salt because he usually ends up not liking it anyway and would rather eat a chik fila sandwich

[Anonymous]

Like he’ll eat Taco Bell bean burritos on a regular basis and feed that to our 2 year old. The 2 year old loved it but come on. That’s junk. Dont make your toddlers develop a taste for junk like you.

[Anonymous]

And for what it’s worth he’s not overweight. He’s in the military so has to stay fit which is why he does the keto diet and intermittent fasting. But he has high cholesterol which he says runs in the family and diet won’t fix it. I contested that but he said he’s tried eating healthier in the past but his cholesterol didn’t go down so he may resort to meds one day to lower his cholesterol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Skip the lean meats. Fats are healthy, despite what big pharma says.

Growing kids need a lot of fat also for brain development. What they don't need excessive amounts of are carbs.

OP here. I eat a mix of lean and semi fatty meats like 85% fat ground beef. I sear the beef and drain the excess fat. I make chili with 85% fat turkey. I like rib eye steaks too but no more than 1-2x a week and I trim off the excess fat. I like buffalo wings too but not several times a week like my husband. I just don’t enjoy extremely fatty and charred foods like ribs on a regular basis.

Macro ratios are a tad off there. You need around 30% of your diet to be fats. Going leaner than that just harms the body in the long run, and very low fat diets can kill you.

Try the 80% stuff and don't drain as much. Use 2% milk rather than skim, use real butter rather than processed hydrogenated oils, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Skip the lean meats. Fats are healthy, despite what big pharma says.

Growing kids need a lot of fat also for brain development. What they don't need excessive amounts of are carbs.

OP here. I eat a mix of lean and semi fatty meats like 85% fat ground beef. I sear the beef and drain the excess fat. I make chili with 85% fat turkey. I like rib eye steaks too but no more than 1-2x a week and I trim off the excess fat. I like buffalo wings too but not several times a week like my husband. I just don’t enjoy extremely fatty and charred foods like ribs on a regular basis.

Macro ratios are a tad off there. You need around 30% of your diet to be fats. Going leaner than that just harms the body in the long run, and very low fat diets can kill you.

Try the 80% stuff and don't drain as much. Use 2% milk rather than skim, use real butter rather than processed hydrogenated oils, etc.

I actually only use whole grass fed milk at home. I tend to cook with butter and olive oil. I also love cheese so use plenty of that too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me start off my saying I’m somewhat of a health nut. I try to eat clean and mainly use whole, organic ingredients. I’m not a good cook but I’d rather eat something that is healthy for sustenance than something that is delicious but unhealthy. Stuff I make at home are usual stir fries with veggies and lean meat, baked chicken, marinated pork chops with veggies, and soups and stews with tons of veggies and lean meat.

My husband on the other hand loves junk food. He is in his 40s but still enjoys McDonalds. He goes to places like Burger King, 5 guys, Buffalo Wild Wings, and papa John’s multiple times a week. At the risk of sound like a snob, I never ate at places like that before meeting him. To me it’s junk food filled with empty calories, bad oils, and low quality ingredients. He also enjoys higher quality restaurants like the Great American chains where he can get ribs, burgers and steaks there but it’s not feasible for our budget and schedule to get takeout from restaurants like that everyday.

As far as fast food goes, I’m okay with getting Chipotle, kabobs from Moby Dicks and Panda Express maybe 2-3x a week. That’s something my husband and I can eat together. I like going out to eat too but I prefer sushi and lighter fares like Thai. I just can’t stand eating greasy fried carb rich foods and fatty meats all the time, but that’s what my husband wants most of the time. Basically, my husband thinks restaurants like True Food Kitchen is disgusting but I really appreciate a restaurant that serves up ultra healthy foods even though it may not taste as good as a regular restaurant.

To make matters worse my 2 year old son is also an extremely picky eater. Some days he’ll only eat crackers. I try to cook healthy foods for him like meatballs in homemade marinara sauce filled with veggies, chilis, fresh banana pancakes, etc but it gets rejected most of the time which is extremely frustrating but at least I will eat the stuff I make so it doesn’t go to waste. My husband will not eat the stuff I cook for my son because it’s too bland and “healthy” so often times he’ll order pizza and wings instead.

Sorry for the long rant but I guess I just feel grossed out by how unhealthy my husband eats and I also feel rejected that he won’t eat the food I cook 90% of the time. Should I try to cater my cooking to suit him better? However I want my toddler to eat healthy too so my recipes will be on the clean side and it’s exhausting enough trying to cook something my toddler will eat let alone my husband. I don’t want to have to cook something separate for my husband and have him reject it too so he’s been getting takeout almost every meal everyday and I feel kinda guilty about how much junk he’s eating.

To top it off, he’s also goes off and on this keto diet where he only eats meat so he’s getting ribs, wings, burger patties and chik fila salads and fried chicken all the time. When he’s off the diet he just wants to splurge and tells me to pick up cakes, donuts, pizzas, and all kinds of junk for him when I go shopping and I feel like an enabler. I just feel disgusted (am I being judgmental because I’m sort of a health nut?), exasperated and i don't know what to do.

First - you need to ease into changing people's diets. Focus first on getting your DH to eat at home and get his agreement that it is ruining your budget (or make him pay for it out of his portion of "fun" money. Make delicious food that he likes. Ask him what he likes. There is no point in going totally clean if no one will eat it.

Focus also on your son trying new foods. Make sure that his snacks include protein, healthy fat and veggies or fruits. People always turn to carbs if they are hungry, but the carbs don't last long. Make cooking and eating fun for your son. Get a couple of fun books like https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Littles-Lunches-No-Stress-Everyone/dp/0593797450/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2W44KXRS68ZKC&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.UMPGjaOCxnlOSSXZJOcvS7FfI-jAhXDH3VCQMWoSSIn2Co1FO8x_p8xck_1YadZ20qY7jq-GHMuIEi0KlFDum6tHs3zqGZLaOw_iSczfrpXr-YT3ft1j092dhkgD0Xj9QQ3TmH5C7HB0QpidKRYtGnTuqtVAbO8fVnxX3iMJo4CH-8uVzl7FuG-o8zEIKry6s7hlko8z0A0aUQuCICobe4gyLWK8AJZ1EfkpEHPPg6Gw0GoAJoMT47vkuigMkDH48njyeu9napBpCl2DH7163lzJRyQIAti9KzMOJFZb7SQ.uuh-fKN7bNOCOQXcvsmqHiyb_-BpD659q-6kveDzcKY&dib_tag=se&keywords=lunch+for+littles&qid=1726324605&sprefix=Lunch+for+l%2Caps%2C98&sr=8-1

and learn to present the food in ways that kids love. Buy kid safe kitchen tools and involve him in chopping and mixing. But, I won't lie, your husband is making your job really difficult because the human brain is wired to love those junk foods. Tell him how important it is to you that you both are setting a healthy example for your son.

But, please, let go of the "clean" for awhile. If you both enjoy Chipotle, make bowls at home. Same for Panda Express... break down and make fried rice at home and make yourself lots of veggies to go into it, while you have meat that both can eat. Did your DH eat at home growing up? Ask his Mom what some of his favorites were and start making them, you can gradually substitute healthier ingredients AFTER you get him to start eating at home.