Husband and toddler both won’t eat what I cook

[Anonymous]

https://nutritionsource.hsph.harvard.edu/clean-eating/

[Anonymous]

Definition of clean eating

https://nutritionsource.hsph.harvard.edu/clean-eating/

[Anonymous]

OP what is YOUR definition of clean eating? It can mean different things for different people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definition of clean eating

https://nutritionsource.hsph.harvard.edu/clean-eating/

Be sure to read the whole page, because the later part could be written about OP

[Anonymous]

OP, usually couples converge on their food choices over time, and it’s inconvenient when that doesn’t happen, and it’s hard when you have a child. You already sound more accommodating that most. Agreeing to get Panda Express and chipotle 2-3 times a week is too much fast food for most self professed healthy eaters. I don’t consider myself extreme, but I would balk at fast food 2-3 times a week.

The good news is that your child is only 2 and does not have to eat wings and pizza every day. I would continue to offer your husband meals, but accept that he wants to eat junk for now. It doesn’t sound like he is going to change anytime soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

that’s perfectly fine

Then, give your husband this grace. He doesn't have to follow your rules. He can eat what he wants. You aren't the boss of him. And the flip-side if, you are not responsible for him or his decisions. Stop being a control freak. He can feed himself.

I think people are being too rough on OP. I agree that DH is an adult, but a diet like OP is describing will catch up to him eventually. Once he's out of uniform, he's very likely going to balloon in weight and he'll start to develop cardiovascular disease. Who will have to deal with the fallout of this? Who will have take care of him after a heart attack or stroke? His poor diet WILL impact her life and her child's life.

Then if SHE wants him to eat better, she should make food that tastes GOOD. She is refusing to meet him half way. He is totally fine going on as is, she's the one with the issue.

You’re just making stuff up now. I do want to cook better. You’re not being helpful, you’re just here to point fingers so just stay out of this.

The good news is that OP is not controlling at all.

Seriously, OP, you need help, and not just -- NOT PRIMARILY -- with cooking. I told you not to use the word "clean" and you accused me of being triggered, then proceeded to use "clean" more times than I would have thought possible. When you don't like what someone says, you assume they're wrong, decide you're the victim, and decide the best response is to respond aggressively.


There is no aspect of life in which this approach takes anyone anywhere good.

I mean, it's not terribly surprising that OP doubled down on the problematic "clean" term - and yes, in recent professional RD best practices - this is not a term to use - value judgements should not be ascribed nor used to describe food. Things like "cheat day" - "clean" is problematic not just because it's unclear but because it's defined by it's opposite -which is "dirty." Shame around food contributes to EDs and this is why current professional best practices advise avoiding these terms.

All that said - OP clearly likes histrionic, overwrought language - she chose to say her husband's diet "disgusts" her and said he's "addicted" to his bad food rather than choosing other less strong terms. So the fact that she doubled down on "clean" is unsurprising. I don't think anyone's getting through to her that it's her dramatic attitude that is the biggest problem.

Imagine being so triggered by OP using the word “clean” to describe food (which by the way, is very common) that this person has to make multiple posts pretending to be different people to go off on the OP for it.

Nothing says “histrionic” more than this deranged poster throwing around the terms narc and histrionic liberally.

I smell a histrionic junk food loving fatty who can’t control her cravings or emotions.

You smell nothing bcs you are eating tasteless food and you have bpd.

[Anonymous]

So he ate well before you married him, and continued eating well until you had a baby, then he changed overnight?

Or you decided to marry and procreate with him, knowing this was his way of eating, and now you want to change him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definition of clean eating

https://nutritionsource.hsph.harvard.edu/clean-eating/

Does this say "Definition" to you?

"What it means will depend on who you ask. The terms clean eating and clean diets are not federally regulated in the U.S., so interpretation by consumers and the marketing of “clean” products by the food industry can vary widely"

"it produced emotional distress (experiencing negative emotions if not able to follow the diet) and functional impairment (having a rigid eating schedule, ignoring natural hunger cues to eat more or less than is scheduled, interference with school work)... The term “clean” also suggests that not following this pattern is “dirty,” which encourages food restrictions and a preoccupation with healthy eating"

"it can mask symptoms of an eating disorder...clean eating can have negative health consequences that mirror those of eating disorders like anorexia nervosa, such as osteoporosis, amenorrhea, difficulty concentrating, and depression"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like he’ll eat Taco Bell bean burritos on a regular basis and feed that to our 2 year old. The 2 year old loved it but come on. That’s junk. Dont make your toddlers develop a taste for junk like you.

New to the thread. I am guilty of giving in to my kid’s fast food requests but then he suddenly changed when he was around 13, stopped asking for fast food what so ever, only the “proper” restaurant food, and became “budget conscious” in his own words where he eats homemade food and became into cooking and all that.
When he was younger I used to be happy if he ate fresh fruit and veggies to complement his otherwise less than healthy meals (not always fast food of course but things like pasta or white rice and such)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I’m not a good cook but I’d rather eat something that is healthy for sustenance than something that is delicious but unhealthy."

Well that's your problem. You aren't a good cook, and would rather eat something that tastes like garbage than delicious. No wonder no one likes your food!

I think it would be unreasonable to expect someone to eat food that they a) hate and b) is acknowledged that isn't very tasty. If my DH was a terrible cook and insisted on making things I didn't like, I'd probably opt out as well. There is a huge amount of compromise available here. Can you guys pick out recipes and cook together? I like pps ideas of making similar things at home, like chipotle bowls or thai food. Maybe he can help make the meal plan. It doesn't sound like you're working, so it's falling on you, but there is no point in buying all this expensive protein and veggies if no one eats it, it goes to waste, and he ends up getting take out anyways.

The obvious solution here is to learn how to cook. Healthy food should taste delicious too.

I wouldn’t want to eat bland food “for sustenance” either. I cook very healthy but also with a lot of flavor, so everyone eats it happily. It isn’t hard.

She should definitely learn to cook but if his taste buds are acclimated to fast food he's not going to love what she makes. Of course that's his problem.
I made a great dinner last night of minestrone, homemade garlic bread and vegetable baked ziti and my husband says "This is good but I'd really like if this had sausage." Meh

So use two pans and add sausage to one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

that’s perfectly fine

Then, give your husband this grace. He doesn't have to follow your rules. He can eat what he wants. You aren't the boss of him. And the flip-side if, you are not responsible for him or his decisions. Stop being a control freak. He can feed himself.

I think people are being too rough on OP. I agree that DH is an adult, but a diet like OP is describing will catch up to him eventually. Once he's out of uniform, he's very likely going to balloon in weight and he'll start to develop cardiovascular disease. Who will have to deal with the fallout of this? Who will have take care of him after a heart attack or stroke? His poor diet WILL impact her life and her child's life.

She is not her husband's keeper. He is not a child. She is disgusted by what he eats and says it all. I bet you he is disgusted by what she eats.

Hmmm… I thought spouses ARE each other’s keepers. If this bothers her, she should try to give a solution that makes all of them happy. I gave concrete advice near the beginning of the thread, but it seems like OP just wanted us to pile on her husband.

[Anonymous]

I hope the OP got the helpful advice in the earlier replies before the sub 90 IQ troll came and flooded the thread with their utter stupidity.