Undergoing IVF in a Rocky Marriage
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Anonymous
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I am having panic attacks about my upcoming embryo transfer. I have waited so long to be a mother and have put up with so much from my husband who...is really immature among other things. We fight all the time and spend a lot of weekends stone walling each other. He has emotional regulation issues and was an alcoholic in the past although no longer. He does not deal with change well and I am anxious about adding a baby to the dynamic.
I want a baby desperately but I want the whole package. I want a wonderful warm home, financial stability, a mature, kind, emotionally stable husband and father who will be my rock and a good role model for our child. I just don't feel like i can have it all as I am in my late thirties. I just want to cry with this stress! |
Anonymous
| Are you the poster who complained about smug parents on Mother’s Day and a DH who you feel doesn’t allow you to express sadness? |
Anonymous
Anonymous
| Postpone this transfer and work on your marriage or dissolve it. |
Anonymous
| Do not have a baby. Get a divorce. |
Anonymous
| Op, listen to your heart. You know what to do. Do not bring a baby into this. |
Anonymous
| Having a baby is so stressful. Do not do this with a man you dislike. This is a terrible idea. Better to be a SMBC than tied to a man you describe as immature. |
Anonymous
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Absolutely do not bring a baby into this environment.
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Anonymous
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He sounds horrible and you sound miserable. Do not bring a tiny life into this chaos. The baby deserves better.
You're baby deserve happiness, love and stability. |
Anonymous
| How old are you? |
Anonymous
Just turned 37 |
Anonymous
| It only gets worse with kids. Put eggs into freeze. All the things you hate about your husband you will see in your kids. |
Anonymous
| Work on your marriage. I was in a similar position. I ended up doing it alone. |
Anonymous
| Do not do it!!! |
Anonymous
| Also, enough is not said about the risks of having a child - risks that are slightly elevated when having a child through IVF. Everyone imagines their kid will turn out to be cute and smart and sweet - but what if your child is not? Then you are stuck in a loveless marriage with a child with special needs - and I can tell you that is not a good place to be. |