Undergoing IVF in a Rocky Marriage

[Anonymous]

This sounds miserable. Postpone, work on marriage or divorce, and then see.

[Anonymous]

My sister had a baby at 49; you might have another chance.
My sister is exhausted, and her douchebag DH doesn't work, doesn't take care of the baby, doesn't cook or clean, lives in my mom's huge house, goes to sleep more in the morning if the baby did not sleep well, and has exclaimed on many occasions that he is exhausted. His mom told my mom that he was enslaved/working in a gulag for my family!
It's a weird phrase in my language; it's more like serving lifetime sentences in a gulag.
Oh, and he biatches to my sister about everything; my niece is not allowed to do anything.

Since the baby was born, my sister was diagnosed with sarcoma and had an insane surgery, and all he cares about is sleeping. My sister is back at work, and he can't even get the baby to nap. My mom does all the caregiving while my sister is working.

He does have another time: how to get my mom to make him her caregiver so he can take all the mom's property and money.

[Anonymous]

The stress of babies is immense. Reconsider. Also, consider whether you want his genes in your child. Some of his negative personality traits may have a genetic component, as crazy as that may sound. And, even if there is nothing to the genetic side, think about your child’s exposure to his personality and ways of handling things. Think about divorcing him and him having a baby, toddler, or small kid 100% to himself for 50% of the time for nearly two decades.

[Anonymous]

Don't be selfish and bring a kid into this mess.

[Anonymous]

If you're only "anxious" about adding a baby to the mix, you lack judgment. This will not end well.

Freeze your eggs. Work on your marriage or get divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1204801.page

This

Sounds like the same poster. Even if it's not, they both need serious help.

[Anonymous]

Have a baby. Just think about yourself not him. I did this and I don’t regret. The husband does what he can, I do most.

[Anonymous]

I feel sorry for the kid already.

[Anonymous]

You keep posting about this and have made no changes. Stop being selfish and leave this man. Having a child in a failing relationship because you are desperate is a horrible thing to do.

File for divorce next week. Then find your reproductive clinic and get inseminated. No children with your current husband.

[Anonymous]

I have a wonderful marriage and the last 3 years of losing baby after baby has been absolutely f&cking torture. But it's nothing like having a newborn. I absolutely would not move forward. Your marriage is already broken. A baby won't help this situation at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have a baby. Just think about yourself not him. I did this and I don’t regret. The husband does what he can, I do most.

But that’s not what she says she wants. She “wants the whole package”. Point is, a baby isn’t going to make the husband “reset”. In most cases, the added stress makes it exponentially worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am having panic attacks about my upcoming embryo transfer. I have waited so long to be a mother and have put up with so much from my husband who...is really immature among other things. We fight all the time and spend a lot of weekends stone walling each other. He has emotional regulation issues and was an alcoholic in the past although no longer. He does not deal with change well and I am anxious about adding a baby to the dynamic.

I want a baby desperately but I want the whole package. I want a wonderful warm home, financial stability, a mature, kind, emotionally stable husband and father who will be my rock and a good role model for our child.

I just don't feel like i can have it all as I am in my late thirties. I just want to cry with this stress!

Trust your instincts they never steer you wrong. And, if you can't see the forest for the trees this would be the worst possible idea ever! Don't do this to yourself or to a potential "innocent child." You will regret it, forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have a baby. Just think about yourself not him. I did this and I don’t regret. The husband does what he can, I do most.

That’s a nice burden to put on a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have a baby. Just think about yourself not him. I did this and I don’t regret. The husband does what he can, I do most.

No this is terrible advice

No no no
Nothing against single mothers. OPs Judgement is already a mess adding a baby hell no

Op time to grow up no kids right now

[Anonymous]

Babies are incredibly stressful OP, especially newborns.

I would ditch the husband and figure out another way to be a mom. You’ll be raising the child by yourself anyway. At least this way you won’t have to deal with raising your husband too.