Women do you want to be approached?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

Don’t listen to the PP. it is fine to approach a woman and talk. If you are respectful and polite, the worst that can happen is she blows you off or isn’t interested. Oh well. No one is calling the police on you because you said hello out loud to them.

The only thing one can get from this thread is if men approach women a good percentage of the women will feel harassed or annoyed. So you are encouraging men to harass women?

But let’s face it there will be men who do not care or refuse to believe they can harass any of women…like the one posting above.

It isn't harassing to start a conversation with someone. Just stop. If you feel harassed because a man say good morning to you or asks if the seat next to you at a coffee shop is free, you have issues.

Sorry dude, but if a guy asks to sit next to me at a coffee shop and then repeatedly tried to talk to me, it’s harassment.

It’s one thing if the entire shop is full and he’s just going to work in silence. But if there are open seats, or if he expects a conversation, not cool. I don’t owe men a convo.

So say no. He moves on. Harassment is repeated unwanted contact after you express not being interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If women are somewhere to meet others, like at a bar or concert or even at a bookstore browsing after work? Sure.

If they are working or just trying to get groceries or run errands? No. That's what apps are for now.

So..browsing for books = ok to approach. Browsing for groceries = not ok to approach. How about Home Depot? Pet stores? Post office? Bank?

[Anonymous]

I cant' believe how many people are saying "just use an app". Is this what society has come to, where relationships are only established with the help of computers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If women are somewhere to meet others, like at a bar or concert or even at a bookstore browsing after work? Sure.

If they are working or just trying to get groceries or run errands? No. That's what apps are for now.

So..browsing for books = ok to approach. Browsing for groceries = not ok to approach. How about Home Depot? Pet stores? Post office? Bank?

Bookstore=usually recreation. Others=usually errands. I might make an exception for pet store if it’s like a dog training class or adoption event but let the lady pick up kibble in peace...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

Don’t listen to the PP. it is fine to approach a woman and talk. If you are respectful and polite, the worst that can happen is she blows you off or isn’t interested. Oh well. No one is calling the police on you because you said hello out loud to them.

The only thing one can get from this thread is if men approach women a good percentage of the women will feel harassed or annoyed. So you are encouraging men to harass women?

But let’s face it there will be men who do not care or refuse to believe they can harass any of women…like the one posting above.

It isn't harassing to start a conversation with someone. Just stop. If you feel harassed because a man say good morning to you or asks if the seat next to you at a coffee shop is free, you have issues.

Sorry dude, but if a guy asks to sit next to me at a coffee shop and then repeatedly tried to talk to me, it’s harassment.

It’s one thing if the entire shop is full and he’s just going to work in silence. But if there are open seats, or if he expects a conversation, not cool. I don’t owe men a convo.

So say no. He moves on. Harassment is repeated unwanted contact after you express not being interested.

Here’s the thing— I consider sitting in a coffee shop reading/looking at my phone already indicating I am not interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

Don’t listen to the PP. it is fine to approach a woman and talk. If you are respectful and polite, the worst that can happen is she blows you off or isn’t interested. Oh well. No one is calling the police on you because you said hello out loud to them.

The only thing one can get from this thread is if men approach women a good percentage of the women will feel harassed or annoyed. So you are encouraging men to harass women?

But let’s face it there will be men who do not care or refuse to believe they can harass any of women…like the one posting above.

It isn't harassing to start a conversation with someone. Just stop. If you feel harassed because a man say good morning to you or asks if the seat next to you at a coffee shop is free, you have issues.

Sorry dude, but if a guy asks to sit next to me at a coffee shop and then repeatedly tried to talk to me, it’s harassment.

It’s one thing if the entire shop is full and he’s just going to work in silence. But if there are open seats, or if he expects a conversation, not cool. I don’t owe men a convo.

So say no. He moves on. Harassment is repeated unwanted contact after you express not being interested.

Here’s the thing— I consider sitting in a coffee shop reading/looking at my phone already indicating I am not interested.

Ok well you aren’t everyone. It isn’t illegal to talk to people, people should talk to each other more. If you don’t want to, you can say that too. The default doesn’t have to be ignore everyone and only communicate via computer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former PUA here. The key is body language, and most men are pretty poor at reading signals. Look for an IOI (indicator of interest) from a woman, which could be as simple as a second glance. Also look how they are standing/sitting, including use of arms (crossed arms = not up for it); then take cues from your conversation if you do approach. Are they asking questions of you too? Laughing at your jokes? If not, time to get the message and move on.

Bwa ha ha. Ok, dude. Be gone, with your "flair" and silliness.

Pro tip: 99% of the time when I'm crossing my arms it's because I'm cold or just feel like crossing my arms. So, it's not a "non IOI" (again, ha ha ha).

I never said it applied to everyone, did I?

Why are you so bitter and angry? Just giving OP advice

Ooooh solid neg! Points for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:not all women do not want to be approached, as shown by many of the responses in this thread. so in some situations, until the guy approaches and gets a "no" or a cold shoulder, he won't be able to know it's unwanted. they're not clairvoyant.

The problem isn't taking a shot in a relatively benign way. It's on deliberately not picking up on the "no" cues. That's when it's clearly "unwanted" to everyone else.

Sometimes guys say they can't tell how much is being too pushy. Nonsense. There's research on this. They can read cues perfectly well when their woman is a boss, or supervisor, or has some sort of power over them.

You say, "hey, long flight?" She looks up, smiles briefly, says "yes," and turns back to her phone or book. That's a "no." If she engages you and maintains eye contact while continuing the conversation, that's not a "no" at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

Don’t listen to the PP. it is fine to approach a woman and talk. If you are respectful and polite, the worst that can happen is she blows you off or isn’t interested. Oh well. No one is calling the police on you because you said hello out loud to them.

The only thing one can get from this thread is if men approach women a good percentage of the women will feel harassed or annoyed. So you are encouraging men to harass women?

But let’s face it there will be men who do not care or refuse to believe they can harass any of women…like the one posting above.

It isn't harassing to start a conversation with someone. Just stop. If you feel harassed because a man say good morning to you or asks if the seat next to you at a coffee shop is free, you have issues.

NP. Nothing wrong with saying good morning. In my experience, the problem is that when I reply with a neutral "good morning" and quickly go back to what I was doing, a majority of men are not going to read the "not interested" signal. So there are a series of questions to which I respond minimally, and when I finally feel like I need to say "hey, I don't want to be rude, but I"m trying to focus on x/y/z," then there is the "WOW, I WAS JUST BEING FRIENDLY" followed by the flounce. That is not a pleasant interaction and it's not one I asked for so why should I have to deal with it. I have literally never put another person in the position of having to shut me down in public, so I know it's not that hard to read the signs and follow them.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

Don’t listen to the PP. it is fine to approach a woman and talk. If you are respectful and polite, the worst that can happen is she blows you off or isn’t interested. Oh well. No one is calling the police on you because you said hello out loud to them.

The only thing one can get from this thread is if men approach women a good percentage of the women will feel harassed or annoyed. So you are encouraging men to harass women?

But let’s face it there will be men who do not care or refuse to believe they can harass any of women…like the one posting above.

It isn't harassing to start a conversation with someone. Just stop. If you feel harassed because a man say good morning to you or asks if the seat next to you at a coffee shop is free, you have issues.

NP. Nothing wrong with saying good morning. In my experience, the problem is that when I reply with a neutral "good morning" and quickly go back to what I was doing, a majority of men are not going to read the "not interested" signal. So there are a series of questions to which I respond minimally, and when I finally feel like I need to say "hey, I don't want to be rude, but I"m trying to focus on x/y/z," then there is the "WOW, I WAS JUST BEING FRIENDLY" followed by the flounce. That is not a pleasant interaction and it's not one I asked for so why should I have to deal with it. I have literally never put another person in the position of having to shut me down in public, so I know it's not that hard to read the signs and follow them.

Exactly.

Not a big deal. Just say I’m busy. This shouldn’t be emotionally traumatizing for you. Wow

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

Don’t listen to the PP. it is fine to approach a woman and talk. If you are respectful and polite, the worst that can happen is she blows you off or isn’t interested. Oh well. No one is calling the police on you because you said hello out loud to them.

The only thing one can get from this thread is if men approach women a good percentage of the women will feel harassed or annoyed. So you are encouraging men to harass women?

But let’s face it there will be men who do not care or refuse to believe they can harass any of women…like the one posting above.

It isn't harassing to start a conversation with someone. Just stop. If you feel harassed because a man say good morning to you or asks if the seat next to you at a coffee shop is free, you have issues.

NP. Nothing wrong with saying good morning. In my experience, the problem is that when I reply with a neutral "good morning" and quickly go back to what I was doing, a majority of men are not going to read the "not interested" signal. So there are a series of questions to which I respond minimally, and when I finally feel like I need to say "hey, I don't want to be rude, but I"m trying to focus on x/y/z," then there is the "WOW, I WAS JUST BEING FRIENDLY" followed by the flounce. That is not a pleasant interaction and it's not one I asked for so why should I have to deal with it. I have literally never put another person in the position of having to shut me down in public, so I know it's not that hard to read the signs and follow them.

Exactly.

Not a big deal. Just say I’m busy. This shouldn’t be emotionally traumatizing for you. Wow

You're a pro pp. I've also had guys use the "it's a free country!" argument before they flounce off. What kind of women do these guys end up with? Because can't read signals + get's upset with me for saying no thank you = you just confirmed that you are not someone I would ever consider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

Don’t listen to the PP. it is fine to approach a woman and talk. If you are respectful and polite, the worst that can happen is she blows you off or isn’t interested. Oh well. No one is calling the police on you because you said hello out loud to them.

The only thing one can get from this thread is if men approach women a good percentage of the women will feel harassed or annoyed. So you are encouraging men to harass women?

But let’s face it there will be men who do not care or refuse to believe they can harass any of women…like the one posting above.

It isn't harassing to start a conversation with someone. Just stop. If you feel harassed because a man say good morning to you or asks if the seat next to you at a coffee shop is free, you have issues.

NP. Nothing wrong with saying good morning. In my experience, the problem is that when I reply with a neutral "good morning" and quickly go back to what I was doing, a majority of men are not going to read the "not interested" signal. So there are a series of questions to which I respond minimally, and when I finally feel like I need to say "hey, I don't want to be rude, but I"m trying to focus on x/y/z," then there is the "WOW, I WAS JUST BEING FRIENDLY" followed by the flounce. That is not a pleasant interaction and it's not one I asked for so why should I have to deal with it. I have literally never put another person in the position of having to shut me down in public, so I know it's not that hard to read the signs and follow them.

Exactly.

Not a big deal. Just say I’m busy. This shouldn’t be emotionally traumatizing for you. Wow

"I'm busy."
"Wow, I wasn't harassing you. Sorry, you have emotional problems!"

Yup, classic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

Don’t listen to the PP. it is fine to approach a woman and talk. If you are respectful and polite, the worst that can happen is she blows you off or isn’t interested. Oh well. No one is calling the police on you because you said hello out loud to them.

The only thing one can get from this thread is if men approach women a good percentage of the women will feel harassed or annoyed. So you are encouraging men to harass women?

But let’s face it there will be men who do not care or refuse to believe they can harass any of women…like the one posting above.

It isn't harassing to start a conversation with someone. Just stop. If you feel harassed because a man say good morning to you or asks if the seat next to you at a coffee shop is free, you have issues.

NP. Nothing wrong with saying good morning. In my experience, the problem is that when I reply with a neutral "good morning" and quickly go back to what I was doing, a majority of men are not going to read the "not interested" signal. So there are a series of questions to which I respond minimally, and when I finally feel like I need to say "hey, I don't want to be rude, but I"m trying to focus on x/y/z," then there is the "WOW, I WAS JUST BEING FRIENDLY" followed by the flounce. That is not a pleasant interaction and it's not one I asked for so why should I have to deal with it. I have literally never put another person in the position of having to shut me down in public, so I know it's not that hard to read the signs and follow them.

Exactly.

Not a big deal. Just say I’m busy. This shouldn’t be emotionally traumatizing for you. Wow

What an excellent example of the flounce!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

Don’t listen to the PP. it is fine to approach a woman and talk. If you are respectful and polite, the worst that can happen is she blows you off or isn’t interested. Oh well. No one is calling the police on you because you said hello out loud to them.

The only thing one can get from this thread is if men approach women a good percentage of the women will feel harassed or annoyed. So you are encouraging men to harass women?

But let’s face it there will be men who do not care or refuse to believe they can harass any of women…like the one posting above.

It isn't harassing to start a conversation with someone. Just stop. If you feel harassed because a man say good morning to you or asks if the seat next to you at a coffee shop is free, you have issues.

Sorry dude, but if a guy asks to sit next to me at a coffee shop and then repeatedly tried to talk to me, it’s harassment.

It’s one thing if the entire shop is full and he’s just going to work in silence. But if there are open seats, or if he expects a conversation, not cool. I don’t owe men a convo.

So say no. He moves on. Harassment is repeated unwanted contact after you express not being interested.

Here’s the thing— I consider sitting in a coffee shop reading/looking at my phone already indicating I am not interested.

Ok well you aren’t everyone. It isn’t illegal to talk to people, people should talk to each other more. If you don’t want to, you can say that too. The default doesn’t have to be ignore everyone and only communicate via computer

What an amazing bar you set for your behavior. You remember the question in the title is “women do you want” not “women will you press charges if” right?

[Anonymous]

Yes, I do. I like friendly personable interactions. I like eye contact and smiles. I dislike dating apps very much however. I’m shy but also a people person.