Women do you want to be approached?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

Don’t listen to the PP. it is fine to approach a woman and talk. If you are respectful and polite, the worst that can happen is she blows you off or isn’t interested. Oh well. No one is calling the police on you because you said hello out loud to them.

You're right and there really isn't any help for it, but don't minimize being blown off. I think that the women who don't have experience initiating contact can under-appreciate how much that stings. (Unless you're one of those creeps who just approaches any woman -- easier for them to shrug it off.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Prior to my long term relationship that I’m in now, I have always done very well approaching women and I’ve been pretty direct about it, could care less what the women in this thread say because it has worked for me amazingly and have been fortunate to have great memories with women over the years (not just sex, I genuinely enjoyed dating and “the hunt” when I was single, as well as getting to know people / learning about them, sex too though let’s be real)

“Girl with the blonde hair, I was actually just on my way to the grocery story, but I saw you and I thought you were adorable with your (something she’s wearing) and I had to come risk it all” or something along those lines say it in a confident but kind of joking or funny way like you aren’t taking the situation too seriously or that you know there is some comedy inherently involved in Hitting on a random girl in the street. Then quickly change subject to asking her name and introducing yourself, then transition to normal conversation about your day, what she’s up to, the city, whatever just normal conversation. If she thinks you’re hot and you have a good vibe she will stay and chat and you can ask for her number. If she doesn’t you should be able to take the hint and leave her alone. Every time I would move to a new city, it took me all of a day to start going on dates with pretty girls by doing this.

You sound insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

Don’t listen to the PP. it is fine to approach a woman and talk. If you are respectful and polite, the worst that can happen is she blows you off or isn’t interested. Oh well. No one is calling the police on you because you said hello out loud to them.

The only thing one can get from this thread is if men approach women a good percentage of the women will feel harassed or annoyed. So you are encouraging men to harass women?

But let’s face it there will be men who do not care or refuse to believe they can harass any of women…like the one posting above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Prior to my long term relationship that I’m in now, I have always done very well approaching women and I’ve been pretty direct about it, could care less what the women in this thread say because it has worked for me amazingly and have been fortunate to have great memories with women over the years (not just sex, I genuinely enjoyed dating and “the hunt” when I was single, as well as getting to know people / learning about them, sex too though let’s be real)

“Girl with the blonde hair, I was actually just on my way to the grocery story, but I saw you and I thought you were adorable with your (something she’s wearing) and I had to come risk it all” or something along those lines say it in a confident but kind of joking or funny way like you aren’t taking the situation too seriously or that you know there is some comedy inherently involved in Hitting on a random girl in the street. Then quickly change subject to asking her name and introducing yourself, then transition to normal conversation about your day, what she’s up to, the city, whatever just normal conversation. If she thinks you’re hot and you have a good vibe she will stay and chat and you can ask for her number. If she doesn’t you should be able to take the hint and leave her alone. Every time I would move to a new city, it took me all of a day to start going on dates with pretty girls by doing this.

Oh god, that’s so cringe. Are you, what, pulling over in your car to say that to women walking down the street?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

Don’t listen to the PP. it is fine to approach a woman and talk. If you are respectful and polite, the worst that can happen is she blows you off or isn’t interested. Oh well. No one is calling the police on you because you said hello out loud to them.

You're right and there really isn't any help for it, but don't minimize being blown off. I think that the women who don't have experience initiating contact can under-appreciate how much that stings. (Unless you're one of those creeps who just approaches any woman -- easier for them to shrug it off.)

...yeah what’s really important is for everyone to understand how mens feelings are hurt in this situation, not how women’s physical safety is threatened. Excellent perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:not all women do not want to be approached, as shown by many of the responses in this thread. so in some situations, until the guy approaches and gets a "no" or a cold shoulder, he won't be able to know it's unwanted. they're not clairvoyant.

Or he could just leave them alone, date on apps, or approach women in clearly social settings. There is no entitlement to a woman’s time, even the amount it takes her to tell you to go away.

You don't speak for all women, and dating apps are not without problems. I honestly don't mind guys approaching me as long as they aren't weird and take no for an answer as has been explained before.

You also don’t speak for all women. And there’s no way for me to tell if a guy is going to calmly take no for an answer at the start of an interaction, of if he’s going to be one of the physically or verbally abusive ones. It’s a shame that men treating women so badly for the crime of not being interested then has become so common that it makes us wary of good guys, but there it is.

And I’m married and met my husband in public in a social setting, so please don’t worry I’m here talking about how hard it is to meet good men. There are thousands of talks in this city every week (or there were pre-Covid) where is easy to meet people in person without worrying you’ll be called a frigid c**t if you don’t reciprocate their interest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

Don’t listen to the PP. it is fine to approach a woman and talk. If you are respectful and polite, the worst that can happen is she blows you off or isn’t interested. Oh well. No one is calling the police on you because you said hello out loud to them.

The only thing one can get from this thread is if men approach women a good percentage of the women will feel harassed or annoyed. So you are encouraging men to harass women?

But let’s face it there will be men who do not care or refuse to believe they can harass any of women…like the one posting above.

It isn't harassing to start a conversation with someone. Just stop. If you feel harassed because a man say good morning to you or asks if the seat next to you at a coffee shop is free, you have issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The best thing about this thread is it's made me feel less bad about myself for being too shy to hit on women I encounter randomly.

I had the same thought

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

You give ‘Harrasment’ a bad name. It doesn’t sound like he’s harassing them at all. Also, if he’s getting dates, obviously those women didn’t feel Harrasment either.

Don’t listen to the PP. it is fine to approach a woman and talk. If you are respectful and polite, the worst that can happen is she blows you off or isn’t interested. Oh well. No one is calling the police on you because you said hello out loud to them.

The only thing one can get from this thread is if men approach women a good percentage of the women will feel harassed or annoyed. So you are encouraging men to harass women?

But let’s face it there will be men who do not care or refuse to believe they can harass any of women…like the one posting above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

Don’t listen to the PP. it is fine to approach a woman and talk. If you are respectful and polite, the worst that can happen is she blows you off or isn’t interested. Oh well. No one is calling the police on you because you said hello out loud to them.

The only thing one can get from this thread is if men approach women a good percentage of the women will feel harassed or annoyed. So you are encouraging men to harass women?

But let’s face it there will be men who do not care or refuse to believe they can harass any of women…like the one posting above.

It isn't harassing to start a conversation with someone. Just stop. If you feel harassed because a man say good morning to you or asks if the seat next to you at a coffee shop is free, you have issues.

NP. Nothing wrong with saying good morning. In my experience, the problem is that when I reply with a neutral "good morning" and quickly go back to what I was doing, a majority of men are not going to read the "not interested" signal. So there are a series of questions to which I respond minimally, and when I finally feel like I need to say "hey, I don't want to be rude, but I"m trying to focus on x/y/z," then there is the "WOW, I WAS JUST BEING FRIENDLY" followed by the flounce. That is not a pleasant interaction and it's not one I asked for so why should I have to deal with it. I have literally never put another person in the position of having to shut me down in public, so I know it's not that hard to read the signs and follow them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

Don’t listen to the PP. it is fine to approach a woman and talk. If you are respectful and polite, the worst that can happen is she blows you off or isn’t interested. Oh well. No one is calling the police on you because you said hello out loud to them.

You're right and there really isn't any help for it, but don't minimize being blown off. I think that the women who don't have experience initiating contact can under-appreciate how much that stings. (Unless you're one of those creeps who just approaches any woman -- easier for them to shrug it off.)

...yeah what’s really important is for everyone to understand how mens feelings are hurt in this situation, not how women’s physical safety is threatened. Excellent perspective.

Right, because it's possible to understand only one perspective. Get out of here with that weak complaint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

Don’t listen to the PP. it is fine to approach a woman and talk. If you are respectful and polite, the worst that can happen is she blows you off or isn’t interested. Oh well. No one is calling the police on you because you said hello out loud to them.

The only thing one can get from this thread is if men approach women a good percentage of the women will feel harassed or annoyed. So you are encouraging men to harass women?

But let’s face it there will be men who do not care or refuse to believe they can harass any of women…like the one posting above.

It isn't harassing to start a conversation with someone. Just stop. If you feel harassed because a man say good morning to you or asks if the seat next to you at a coffee shop is free, you have issues.

It can be. It can also be scary, like when that good morning is in an otherwise empty place, or is persisted after the good morning. If men want to start calling out and shaming the other men who react violently or aggressively to a lack of attention, then it will not be an unsafe environment for women around the “good” men. But I don’t see a lot of that; I see a lot of people insisting that women ignore the fact that a scary percentage of men are dangerous in order to not hurt the feelings of the men who claim they aren’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

Don’t listen to the PP. it is fine to approach a woman and talk. If you are respectful and polite, the worst that can happen is she blows you off or isn’t interested. Oh well. No one is calling the police on you because you said hello out loud to them.

You're right and there really isn't any help for it, but don't minimize being blown off. I think that the women who don't have experience initiating contact can under-appreciate how much that stings. (Unless you're one of those creeps who just approaches any woman -- easier for them to shrug it off.)

...yeah what’s really important is for everyone to understand how mens feelings are hurt in this situation, not how women’s physical safety is threatened. Excellent perspective.

Right, because it's possible to understand only one perspective. Get out of here with that weak complaint.

I wear a wedding ring. Anyone whose feelings are hurt has no one to blame but themselves and I do not need to waste my time worrying about their feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

Don’t listen to the PP. it is fine to approach a woman and talk. If you are respectful and polite, the worst that can happen is she blows you off or isn’t interested. Oh well. No one is calling the police on you because you said hello out loud to them.

The only thing one can get from this thread is if men approach women a good percentage of the women will feel harassed or annoyed. So you are encouraging men to harass women?

But let’s face it there will be men who do not care or refuse to believe they can harass any of women…like the one posting above.

It isn't harassing to start a conversation with someone. Just stop. If you feel harassed because a man say good morning to you or asks if the seat next to you at a coffee shop is free, you have issues.

Sorry dude, but if a guy asks to sit next to me at a coffee shop and then repeatedly tried to talk to me, it’s harassment.

It’s one thing if the entire shop is full and he’s just going to work in silence. But if there are open seats, or if he expects a conversation, not cool. I don’t owe men a convo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

Don’t listen to the PP. it is fine to approach a woman and talk. If you are respectful and polite, the worst that can happen is she blows you off or isn’t interested. Oh well. No one is calling the police on you because you said hello out loud to them.

The only thing one can get from this thread is if men approach women a good percentage of the women will feel harassed or annoyed. So you are encouraging men to harass women?

But let’s face it there will be men who do not care or refuse to believe they can harass any of women…like the one posting above.

It isn't harassing to start a conversation with someone. Just stop. If you feel harassed because a man say good morning to you or asks if the seat next to you at a coffee shop is free, you have issues.

It can be. It can also be scary, like when that good morning is in an otherwise empty place, or is persisted after the good morning. If men want to start calling out and shaming the other men who react violently or aggressively to a lack of attention, then it will not be an unsafe environment for women around the “good” men. But I don’t see a lot of that; I see a lot of people insisting that women ignore the fact that a scary percentage of men are dangerous in order to not hurt the feelings of the men who claim they aren’t.

I’m sorry men scare you, but that isn’t harassment