Family pressure for son’s name

[Anonymous]

OP, do not compromise. I personally think you should follow the tradition, especially if you plan to have more than one child. However, a compromise is just silly. It will not appease anyone, and you won’t like the compromise either. Everyone will be unhappy. Either accept the tradition gracefully and lovingly, or just accept the inlaws and DH will not be happy but at least find something you like and your DH doesn’t hate. This isn’t something where a compromise would work the way you want.

[Anonymous]

Can you pick a name that begins in “H” as a nod of respect to tradition but also being in America where Hani is not commonplace? (Background: I have a very unusual first name and my husband is Indian and has an unusual name for US. We chose very common American / English names for our kids. Tradition is similar as in first son is typically names after father in law but my in laws deviated from that in naming my husband a different name but another way to call a god his Grandfather was named after. Anyway, I felt ok with breaking from tradition and also both my husband and I felt strongly that out kids should have names they are not constantly explaining.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How does your husband feel about this? You need to be on the same page as he is. I personally told my DH before we got married that there would be NO family names as first names. I was perfectly happy to use family names as middle names, but I was not continuing any legacies. My DH is the 3rd (sort of, they all have different middle names) and I wasn't going to keep doing that. It was way too confusing already in the family without adding a 3rd person with the same name.

We had this conversation before we got married, because I knew his family did it this way. I also felt that, as a woman, we always get shafted since the last name sort of defaults to the father's last name. I felt I should get more say in their first names since he essentially gets the last name PLUS I changed my last name. My DH is not a jerk, so he was open to my thoughts on this.

His family wasn't happy. They made some snide comments in the hospital about it. But after that, everyone got over it and moved on. My DH backed me up and understood my point of view, he pushed back on his family when they were upset and we all moved on.

OP: you need to talk to your DH.

I agree with this. I think that mothers should have full say over babies’ names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like Hani. Call him Johnny.

I’m the PP who goes by my middle name (and I still think that’s a good option). I think this a great option!


OP- I read your most recent post and of course you are full of hormones right now. Sit on this for a while. We all have stories about getting upset over ridiculous things like salt or tv commercials and this is your child’s name. So take some time with it.