Mom in trouble for leaving 4 year old with 14 year old sibling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.11alive.com/article/news/local/single-mother-wants-charge-dropped-after-toddler-wanders-into-neighbors-house/85-fbbd3259-d39c-4886-8ddf-c391d3670bd5

This is almost unbelievable. What a crappy neighbor! There have been threads where people ask what age it is okay to have a sibling watch younger siblings. Most everyone would agree that it would be fine to have a 14 almost 15 year old watch their younger siblings.

Unless paid regular sitter rates, older children should never be asked to watch younger sibling.

+1

What? No way. Older kids have taken care of younger kids since families began. Particularly if mom is a single mom trying to make a living.

And the result was often the younger siblings getting injured or even dying. Even in the 1950s-70s.

Kids get injured and die under their own parents watch as well.

+1. Seriously. I was at a park and a woman (well respected DC professional) was on the phone with something job related. Toddler fell off a piece of playground equipment and got a concussion. I honestly think it would have happened even if she wasn’t on the phone. Accidents happen!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a parentified tween and teen caring for my younger brother with severe ADHD. I was a bad experience for us both. He resented me for telling him what he could or couldn’t do. I resented him for the stress it caused trying to keep him alive and for the distraction from my school work. We have no relationship today as adults although I am close with other siblings that I was not assigned to watch. I never asked my older child watch the younger one for more than a couple minutes like if I needed to carry several loads of shopping from the car into the house late at night.

I’m sorry you had a bad experience. The results in my family were different. I have Adud and my sister a decade older often took care of me after school when my parents were at work. All my siblings worked or did chores of one type or another, as did I. And I often watched their children when I was a teen and they were in their twenties with young kids and needed help. To my mind, it’s what families do. I expect my kids to do a fair amount to help around the house and watching siblings can be part of that (although the age spread in my kids is not as large so I didn’t really have one babysitting a young one.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.11alive.com/article/news/local/single-mother-wants-charge-dropped-after-toddler-wanders-into-neighbors-house/85-fbbd3259-d39c-4886-8ddf-c391d3670bd5

This is almost unbelievable. What a crappy neighbor! There have been threads where people ask what age it is okay to have a sibling watch younger siblings. Most everyone would agree that it would be fine to have a 14 almost 15 year old watch their younger siblings.

Unless paid regular sitter rates, older children should never be asked to watch younger sibling.

+1

What? No way. Older kids have taken care of younger kids since families began. Particularly if mom is a single mom trying to make a living.

+1000 it literally grieves me to think this is the mentality of people today. It is GOOD for older siblings to be part of the family, learn responsibility! Kids aren’t royalty; they are people who have to learn to be self-sacrificial adults.

What about your last born? How is s/he learning to be “self-sacrificial”?

I'm not the pp you quoted, but in my family the youngest would take care of younger cousins or nieces and nephews.

A much cushier job. Hypocrites.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.11alive.com/article/news/local/single-mother-wants-charge-dropped-after-toddler-wanders-into-neighbors-house/85-fbbd3259-d39c-4886-8ddf-c391d3670bd5

This is almost unbelievable. What a crappy neighbor! There have been threads where people ask what age it is okay to have a sibling watch younger siblings. Most everyone would agree that it would be fine to have a 14 almost 15 year old watch their younger siblings.

Unless paid regular sitter rates, older children should never be asked to watch younger sibling.

+1

What? No way. Older kids have taken care of younger kids since families began. Particularly if mom is a single mom trying to make a living.

+1000 it literally grieves me to think this is the mentality of people today. It is GOOD for older siblings to be part of the family, learn responsibility! Kids aren’t royalty; they are people who have to learn to be self-sacrificial adults.

What about your last born? How is s/he learning to be “self-sacrificial”?

I'm not the pp you quoted, but in my family the youngest would take care of younger cousins or nieces and nephews.

My family has an extra large age range. 20 years between oldest and youngest kids in my generation. The oldest kids looked after younger, and we looked after their kids when they started having them. I would have been horrified if my older sister wanted to pay me as a HSer to watch my niece so she could work. Then when my oldest niece was a young teen, I had my first. So she and her brother would watch my kids when I needed it occasionally. It has worked this way for our entire extended family. I live further than many siblings, but two of my sisters never paid a babysitter ever. And I firmly expect that if/when the older cousins have kids my kids will be thrilled to babysit if they can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.11alive.com/article/news/local/single-mother-wants-charge-dropped-after-toddler-wanders-into-neighbors-house/85-fbbd3259-d39c-4886-8ddf-c391d3670bd5

This is almost unbelievable. What a crappy neighbor! There have been threads where people ask what age it is okay to have a sibling watch younger siblings. Most everyone would agree that it would be fine to have a 14 almost 15 year old watch their younger siblings.

Unless paid regular sitter rates, older children should never be asked to watch younger sibling.

+1

What? No way. Older kids have taken care of younger kids since families began. Particularly if mom is a single mom trying to make a living.

+1000 it literally grieves me to think this is the mentality of people today. It is GOOD for older siblings to be part of the family, learn responsibility! Kids aren’t royalty; they are people who have to learn to be self-sacrificial adults.

What about your last born? How is s/he learning to be “self-sacrificial”?

I'm not the pp you quoted, but in my family the youngest would take care of younger cousins or nieces and nephews.

My family has an extra large age range. 20 years between oldest and youngest kids in my generation. The oldest kids looked after younger, and we looked after their kids when they started having them. I would have been horrified if my older sister wanted to pay me as a HSer to watch my niece so she could work. Then when my oldest niece was a young teen, I had my first. So she and her brother would watch my kids when I needed it occasionally. It has worked this way for our entire extended family. I live further than many siblings, but two of my sisters never paid a babysitter ever. And I firmly expect that if/when the older cousins have kids my kids will be thrilled to babysit if they can.

+1. Some people have a very narrow definition of family or do not have close extended families. But if you do have good relationships with a large extended family, the above is exactly what happens and I think it’s good for kids to develop empathy when they help those who are older or younger than them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.11alive.com/article/news/local/single-mother-wants-charge-dropped-after-toddler-wanders-into-neighbors-house/85-fbbd3259-d39c-4886-8ddf-c391d3670bd5

This is almost unbelievable. What a crappy neighbor! There have been threads where people ask what age it is okay to have a sibling watch younger siblings. Most everyone would agree that it would be fine to have a 14 almost 15 year old watch their younger siblings.

Unless paid regular sitter rates, older children should never be asked to watch younger sibling.

+1

What? No way. Older kids have taken care of younger kids since families began. Particularly if mom is a single mom trying to make a living.

+1000 it literally grieves me to think this is the mentality of people today. It is GOOD for older siblings to be part of the family, learn responsibility! Kids aren’t royalty; they are people who have to learn to be self-sacrificial adults.

Exactly. Taking care of family (younger and elderly) is how kids develop their abilities to be responsible. Making kids responsible for nothing but their own homework is a recipe for a self centered adult. I was babysitting as an 11 year old. A 14 year old is well old enough to take care of a 4 yr old sibling

So true. Our parenting culture is so dysfunctional. Human beings literally evolved to live in kinship based groups. There’s only so much you can learn about life by taking AP classes and doing varsity athletics. Of course, it’s not appropriate to let the older kids parent the sibling. But watching them for a couple of hours? And sometimes if a parent has to work and can’t afford childcare, it is the only option.

[Anonymous]

This is weird. I would never think to call 911 if my 4 yr old neighbor came over by herself to play. I would call mom and double check it was ok/make sure she knows, but 911??? Something else is going on