Stigma against "young moms"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went straight from college to a top law school, where I met my husband who did the same. We went to NYC big law, got married a year into it, and had our first of 4 kids at 28. Now we’re mid thirties, he’s a partner, and I work for the government. No steps skipped, no financial hardship. We just happened to meet and get along and be of the same mindset. To be fair, we are very responsible and generally have our sh*t together but our friends weren’t too far behind us. It’s not that out of the ordinary.

+1; very similar experience here with 4 kids at ages 27-34.

[Anonymous]

This probably depends a lot on where you live. My friends in the Midwest all had babies in their 20s. I have a 4 year old and one of my closest high school friends has a son about to graduate from college. No stigma for her, definitely stigma for me when I go home with little ones and all my friends have teenagers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Young moms seem to adapt to parenting better. Maybe because they're so young they don't realize what they're giving up yet and so it doesn't feel like as much of a sacrifice?

But the ones I meet almost always seem to cheerful and well adjusted. They seem very go with the flow. They're not the harried, stressed out moms I know in their thirties or forties.

I wonder what it is. Less need for sleep?

I have noticed the opposite among young moms, that they are less happy, perhaps because they long for freedom and fun or maybe they are poorer and less mature. When you have a kid, you have to grow up and make sacrifices and that's harder when you are young.

Really? My sister is 50 and an empty nester - she is living her BEST life and I am super jealous that I won't be in her situation until I'm in my 60s.

[Anonymous]

My mom had the first of 6 kids when she was 21. I remember as a kid feeling incredibly sad for her when I realized she had never gotten to live her own life.

[Anonymous]

My same-age coworker and I were discussing our kids. She was a grandmother before I even had my first child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Young moms seem to adapt to parenting better. Maybe because they're so young they don't realize what they're giving up yet and so it doesn't feel like as much of a sacrifice?

But the ones I meet almost always seem to cheerful and well adjusted. They seem very go with the flow. They're not the harried, stressed out moms I know in their thirties or forties.

I wonder what it is. Less need for sleep?

I have noticed the opposite among young moms, that they are less happy, perhaps because they long for freedom and fun or maybe they are poorer and less mature. When you have a kid, you have to grow up and make sacrifices and that's harder when you are young.

Really? My sister is 50 and an empty nester - she is living her BEST life and I am super jealous that I won't be in her situation until I'm in my 60s.

+1

I regret not having kids earlier. I would have been able to handle FT work/parenting much more. I had way more energy in my 20s.

[Anonymous]

Yes I would be disappointed. You might as well had a child at 16.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Young moms seem to adapt to parenting better. Maybe because they're so young they don't realize what they're giving up yet and so it doesn't feel like as much of a sacrifice?

But the ones I meet almost always seem to cheerful and well adjusted. They seem very go with the flow. They're not the harried, stressed out moms I know in their thirties or forties.

I wonder what it is. Less need for sleep?

I have noticed the opposite among young moms, that they are less happy, perhaps because they long for freedom and fun or maybe they are poorer and less mature. When you have a kid, you have to grow up and make sacrifices and that's harder when you are young.

Really? My sister is 50 and an empty nester - she is living her BEST life and I am super jealous that I won't be in her situation until I'm in my 60s.

Ummm..you should have done the math.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Young moms seem to adapt to parenting better. Maybe because they're so young they don't realize what they're giving up yet and so it doesn't feel like as much of a sacrifice?

But the ones I meet almost always seem to cheerful and well adjusted. They seem very go with the flow. They're not the harried, stressed out moms I know in their thirties or forties.

I wonder what it is. Less need for sleep?

I have noticed the opposite among young moms, that they are less happy, perhaps because they long for freedom and fun or maybe they are poorer and less mature. When you have a kid, you have to grow up and make sacrifices and that's harder when you are young.

Really? My sister is 50 and an empty nester - she is living her BEST life and I am super jealous that I won't be in her situation until I'm in my 60s.

Ummm..you should have done the math.

Not everyone gets to choose, jerkface.

[Anonymous]

Personally can't wait til our kids are in college when we're 47 and we spending weekends at our cabin and traveling often.

Bet our friends with 4yos will feel differently then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Young moms seem to adapt to parenting better. Maybe because they're so young they don't realize what they're giving up yet and so it doesn't feel like as much of a sacrifice?

But the ones I meet almost always seem to cheerful and well adjusted. They seem very go with the flow. They're not the harried, stressed out moms I know in their thirties or forties.

I wonder what it is. Less need for sleep?

I have noticed the opposite among young moms, that they are less happy, perhaps because they long for freedom and fun or maybe they are poorer and less mature. When you have a kid, you have to grow up and make sacrifices and that's harder when you are young.

Really? My sister is 50 and an empty nester - she is living her BEST life and I am super jealous that I won't be in her situation until I'm in my 60s.

Ummm..you should have done the math.

Ummm...she met her husband when she was in her early 20s and I didn't meet mine until I was over 30, no amount of math can change that, dumbas$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally can't wait til our kids are in college when we're 47 and we spending weekends at our cabin and traveling often.

Bet our friends with 4yos will feel differently then.

Not everyone has a choice as to when they meet the right person and when they are able to have children. Your friends with 4 year olds would be better off without smug a-holes such as yourself in their lives.

Anyway, I could deal with hangovers much better in my 20s than I will be able to in my 50s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Young moms seem to adapt to parenting better. Maybe because they're so young they don't realize what they're giving up yet and so it doesn't feel like as much of a sacrifice?

But the ones I meet almost always seem to cheerful and well adjusted. They seem very go with the flow. They're not the harried, stressed out moms I know in their thirties or forties.

I wonder what it is. Less need for sleep?

Not the ones I've met. They're usually stressed for money, their jobs aren't as flexible and kids spend more time in daycare. I even think less patient.

Then again, the moms I know who had kids in their 30s aren't harried or stressed out. We have good spouses and strong savings.

is the bolded a joke?

The pandemic proved that was a lie! LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Young moms seem to adapt to parenting better. Maybe because they're so young they don't realize what they're giving up yet and so it doesn't feel like as much of a sacrifice?

But the ones I meet almost always seem to cheerful and well adjusted. They seem very go with the flow. They're not the harried, stressed out moms I know in their thirties or forties.

I wonder what it is. Less need for sleep?

Not the ones I've met. They're usually stressed for money, their jobs aren't as flexible and kids spend more time in daycare. I even think less patient.

Then again, the moms I know who had kids in their 30s aren't harried or stressed out. We have good spouses and strong savings.

is the bolded a joke?

The pandemic proved that was a lie! LOL

I had kids when I was 26 and 29 (they’re 9 and 12 now) and reading DCUM makes me feel like I have the only good husband in the DMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went straight from college to a top law school, where I met my husband who did the same. We went to NYC big law, got married a year into it, and had our first of 4 kids at 28. Now we’re mid thirties, he’s a partner, and I work for the government. No steps skipped, no financial hardship. We just happened to meet and get along and be of the same mindset. To be fair, we are very responsible and generally have our sh*t together but our friends weren’t too far behind us. It’s not that out of the ordinary.

Yeah, you don't have any financial hardship because YOUR HUSBAND stayed in Big Law and YOU decided to step back and work for the government a few years after graduating from law school so you could have kids. I mean, you don't see this?