Does he want his ex back? I’m flying out to spend Valentine’s Day with him tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pandemic, anyone?

Can trolls get COVID?

I’m not a troll
Plenty of people are flying

It is a really bad idea to be flying unless necessary. All signs point this being beyond unnecessary...you are wasting time with a man still hung up on someone and people have warned you. You are risking your health for no reason at all. You should not have flown out there. Go home and cut him off. If he is really into you, you’ll know soon enough.

Come off it. OP is 27 years years old.

How is that relevant? Even if she was fine, she could infect others. I have not been to a gym or restaurant in almost a year. She is irresponsible. My 9-year-old knows better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This “relationship” will be long distance?
Yeah, this isn’t going to work. The Ex is there, you are not. He’ll keep you around, because how hard is it to text a few times a day, and you’ll pay to fly to him to have sex.

And he’ll work on getting her back.

I thought because I am far away that he really is into me because he could’ve had someone local...

No: that only makes sense if he is proposing so you would move there. And he would be flying to you—not the other way around. He is not that into you. He knows you are into him...and getting his needs met.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This “relationship” will be long distance?
Yeah, this isn’t going to work. The Ex is there, you are not. He’ll keep you around, because how hard is it to text a few times a day, and you’ll pay to fly to him to have sex.

And he’ll work on getting her back.

I thought because I am far away that he really is into me because he could’ve had someone local...

Nope, semi-casual long distance is super low effort. And allows him to either win his Ex back or date other people.

You keep looking forward signs as to why he really likes you. And we are ALL telling you that you are reading the situation the wrong way. You seem to have a hard time grasping that he could have casual sex with you that doesn’t mean much to him. So let me say it again—you are the good for now girl. You aren’t long term potential girl.

Oh wow I’ve never viewed LD as being low effort. So basically, I’m the perfect candidate for casual?

.

In this scenario, yes. All signs he is not over his ex and you are chasing him. Stop. He is not the guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, when you are with the right person for the right reasons you will not be posting on DCUM for thoughts on a confusing situation with mixed signals. In a healthy, loving, secure relationship you will feel safe and assured.

x1000

OP, why do you think he’s interested in you outside of this weekend?

Well he hasn’t pulled away yet so that’s a good sign? We met in October (after they broke up) but things didn’t really pick up until December (when they stopped talking). I’ve been around since October really so isn’t that a good sign?

Plus he’s been very sweet and attentive.

You are a rebound girl: October was yesterday. Means nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you been in serious relationships before?

No. Honestly, I’m actually 22. I just said I was 27 because I thought I’d be too young to use this forum. The guy in question is 30 though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you been in serious relationships before?

No. Honestly, I’m actually 22. I just said I was 27 because I thought I’d be too young to use this forum. The guy in question is 30 though.

Everyone is giving you the right advice. Go home. This man is not the one. You are wasting time on him. Long distance is bad enough. Spend your time finding someone who chases you, who does not have an ex on their mind and who is local in your town. I am 43 and divorced. I did this at 26-28 and wasted two years. I married later to the wrong man. I often wonder if I missed the man I should have met from age 26-28 when I was doing all the work (like you) for a man who was never going to be serious about me. This man you are seeing is not available for a real relationship. Free your time and energy for someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you been in serious relationships before?

No. Honestly, I’m actually 22. I just said I was 27 because I thought I’d be too young to use this forum. The guy in question is 30 though.

So you’re 22 and he’s 30? *smacks forehead

[Anonymous]

Have you asked him if he’s over her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you asked him if he’s over her?

She just admitted that she’s really 22 and he’s 30? Of course she didn’t ask - lack of experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This “relationship” will be long distance?
Yeah, this isn’t going to work. The Ex is there, you are not. He’ll keep you around, because how hard is it to text a few times a day, and you’ll pay to fly to him to have sex.

And he’ll work on getting her back.

I thought because I am far away that he really is into me because he could’ve had someone local...

Has he posted a single picture or reference to you on his social media since you've been dating (I mean, f#cking)?

It doesn't have to be a "hey, here's my new gf!" post, it could be as simple as two sets of feet snuggling on his couch, or two breakfast plates,
two sets of boots by the front door ... ANYTHING to actually show that he gives a F@CK that you're there??

If I were you, I'd snag his phone before the screen turns off after he's done using it & take a cute picture of him, then go into HIS Instagram or Twitter (whichever he follows her more closely on) and then post the photo on his account and write underneath of it "HACKED by @LarlaNoCommonSense (or whatever your insta name is).

It's a very innocent, innocuous post and I've done it to a handful of my girl & guy friends and they all think it's cute.

At the absolute VERY least, other people will know that you're there with him this weekend, but if he totally freaks out and deletes it, you'll know that he doesn't care about you, is totally, totally using you, and is terrified that she'll find out that another woman is there.

This should settle this for you, because no matter what we say you don't want to hear it?

Or are you just a weekend long booty call to him and you're too scared to find out the truth?

Oh and btw, MED stands for her initials... god, are you this dense in other parts of your life too?
Read the post! He's absolutely addressing her.

Gain some self esteem & self awareness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This “relationship” will be long distance?
Yeah, this isn’t going to work. The Ex is there, you are not. He’ll keep you around, because how hard is it to text a few times a day, and you’ll pay to fly to him to have sex.

And he’ll work on getting her back.

I thought because I am far away that he really is into me because he could’ve had someone local...

Nope, you are looking at it all wrong.

You are definitely "Ms. Right Now" and no where near being "Ms. Right".

All this means is that he gets to have the best of both worlds -- sex with you all weekend, and still has his work week available to date/talk/find other women... without you being there to look over his shoulder.

[Anonymous]

You seem to be a bit in denial here OP which is understandable considering your feelings for this person.

But it sounds to me like he isn’t over his ex yet.
He likely is on the rebound.

He needs more time to heal with the still fresh breakup before he can properly move on with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You seem to be a bit in denial here OP which is understandable considering your feelings for this person.

But it sounds to me like he isn’t over his ex yet.
He likely is on the rebound.

He needs more time to heal with the still fresh breakup before he can properly move on with you.

I think it’s because she’s 22...

[Anonymous]

OP,

So you’re 22 and he’s 30. How old is his ex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you been in serious relationships before?

No. Honestly, I’m actually 22. I just said I was 27 because I thought I’d be too young to use this forum. The guy in question is 30 though.

So you ARE a troll. What else are you lying about?