Au Pair just asked for more money

[Anonymous]

 the point is not that the au pair Program is bad or that there aren’t willing au pairs, but that there are families that are either dumb or taking advantage and that the market should be eliminating these types of $195/week families out faster

There are all types of situations. Some au pairs only work 10 hours a week and have great perks. Let them decide if $200/wk is fair. We offered our au pair a choice between a gym membership and a raise (pre-covid) and she chose the fancy gym membership. Does that not count as compensation? Other families literally offer extra weeks off at a time where they still pay the stipend for those weeks. With the internet, my impression is that even prior to COVID, au pairs knew enough to rematch if they didnt like their situation and had a pretty clear view of their market rate. The au pairs who have trouble are those with limited skills, such as terrible english and no drivers license. They are less marketable and thus have fewer options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, poor her, 2BD apt in Milan. Compared to a basement room in a big house in an anonymous DMV suburb. Such a dumb American thing to say; that’s why we are the but of jokes everywhere. Everyone lives in apartments in Milan Rome Paris. You should be so lucky to have a chance at a 2BD in one of these places, middle aged suburban housewife.

You are aware of what happened in Italy in the spring, right? She had a terrible time being essentially locked inside for months on end. They weren't even allowed outside to exercise.. Her grandparents died of COVID and she couldn't see them. So yes, she'd rather not be sharing a room with her younger sister 24/7 and not allowed fresh air as they lock down again.

I can’t even. Do you have access to anything other than the Fox News? Or are you saying you are taking advantage of her situation and her grief?
She could do better than your household. USA is having one of the worst outbreaks ever.

My information comes from her. We've spoken daily since the pandemic hit in March, having matched earlier in the year. Why do you think you know better than her what she'd prefer? She's very excited for moving her life forward after being stuck in stasis for so many months. She'd worked in the tourist industry at home, but there are no jobs. At this point we've agreed she wont come until summer at the earliest. But she was weeks away from arriving and very, very disappointed when Trump put the ban in place.

Two things. Separate. 2BD apt in a top European city is worth more than your house, so your lame attitude made me laugh. Two, now you know that the market is demanding you offer a better price and conditions to your au pair so you better do it or you’re no better than hostage taking exploiter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

 the point is not that the au pair Program is bad or that there aren’t willing au pairs, but that there are families that are either dumb or taking advantage and that the market should be eliminating these types of $195/week families out faster

There are all types of situations. Some au pairs only work 10 hours a week and have great perks. Let them decide if $200/wk is fair. We offered our au pair a choice between a gym membership and a raise (pre-covid) and she chose the fancy gym membership. Does that not count as compensation? Other families literally offer extra weeks off at a time where they still pay the stipend for those weeks. With the internet, my impression is that even prior to COVID, au pairs knew enough to rematch if they didnt like their situation and had a pretty clear view of their market rate. The au pairs who have trouble are those with limited skills, such as terrible english and no drivers license. They are less marketable and thus have fewer options.

Happy to let them decide IF they are aware of the choices and the market. I bet you are keeping them in the dark. Just remember karma will get you. So behave and count yourself lucky IF they choose your “perks”. I bet people told them they live in Washington when most don’t.

[Anonymous]

This is seriously a job for DC OAG and consumer protection legislation. That is if you’re even in DC which I doubt. If not the FBI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, poor her, 2BD apt in Milan. Compared to a basement room in a big house in an anonymous DMV suburb. Such a dumb American thing to say; that’s why we are the but of jokes everywhere. Everyone lives in apartments in Milan Rome Paris. You should be so lucky to have a chance at a 2BD in one of these places, middle aged suburban housewife.

You are aware of what happened in Italy in the spring, right? She had a terrible time being essentially locked inside for months on end. They weren't even allowed outside to exercise.. Her grandparents died of COVID and she couldn't see them. So yes, she'd rather not be sharing a room with her younger sister 24/7 and not allowed fresh air as they lock down again.

I can’t even. Do you have access to anything other than the Fox News? Or are you saying you are taking advantage of her situation and her grief?
She could do better than your household. USA is having one of the worst outbreaks ever.

My information comes from her. We've spoken daily since the pandemic hit in March, having matched earlier in the year. Why do you think you know better than her what she'd prefer? She's very excited for moving her life forward after being stuck in stasis for so many months. She'd worked in the tourist industry at home, but there are no jobs. At this point we've agreed she wont come until summer at the earliest. But she was weeks away from arriving and very, very disappointed when Trump put the ban in place.

Two things. Separate. 2BD apt in a top European city is worth more than your house, so your lame attitude made me laugh. Two, now you know that the market is demanding you offer a better price and conditions to your au pair so you better do it or you’re no better than hostage taking exploiter.

Two things. Separate. You know nothing about her apartment or living circumstances. Stop talking out of your ass. Two, we've had a great experience with the program and make sure our au pairs have an amazing experience. No need to worry your little head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, poor her, 2BD apt in Milan. Compared to a basement room in a big house in an anonymous DMV suburb. Such a dumb American thing to say; that’s why we are the but of jokes everywhere. Everyone lives in apartments in Milan Rome Paris. You should be so lucky to have a chance at a 2BD in one of these places, middle aged suburban housewife.

You are aware of what happened in Italy in the spring, right? She had a terrible time being essentially locked inside for months on end. They weren't even allowed outside to exercise.. Her grandparents died of COVID and she couldn't see them. So yes, she'd rather not be sharing a room with her younger sister 24/7 and not allowed fresh air as they lock down again.

I can’t even. Do you have access to anything other than the Fox News? Or are you saying you are taking advantage of her situation and her grief?
She could do better than your household. USA is having one of the worst outbreaks ever.

My information comes from her. We've spoken daily since the pandemic hit in March, having matched earlier in the year. Why do you think you know better than her what she'd prefer? She's very excited for moving her life forward after being stuck in stasis for so many months. She'd worked in the tourist industry at home, but there are no jobs. At this point we've agreed she wont come until summer at the earliest. But she was weeks away from arriving and very, very disappointed when Trump put the ban in place.

Two things. Separate. 2BD apt in a top European city is worth more than your house, so your lame attitude made me laugh. Two, now you know that the market is demanding you offer a better price and conditions to your au pair so you better do it or you’re no better than hostage taking exploiter.

Two things. Separate. You know nothing about her apartment or living circumstances. Stop talking out of your ass. Two, we've had a great experience with the program and make sure our au pairs have an amazing experience. No need to worry your little head.

(You realize I'm not the OP, right? Two different people. Keep up.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let the poorly informed teenager with poor language skills decide if $200 is fair?! NO! It’s for you at your ripe age and in the position of power to be a decent human being. Seriously, how disgusting can you be?

Fortuantely the internet works in more than one language.

[Anonymous]

My head indeed is little (and very pretty and young) compared to your bloated one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, poor her, 2BD apt in Milan. Compared to a basement room in a big house in an anonymous DMV suburb. Such a dumb American thing to say; that’s why we are the but of jokes everywhere. Everyone lives in apartments in Milan Rome Paris. You should be so lucky to have a chance at a 2BD in one of these places, middle aged suburban housewife.

You are aware of what happened in Italy in the spring, right? She had a terrible time being essentially locked inside for months on end. They weren't even allowed outside to exercise.. Her grandparents died of COVID and she couldn't see them. So yes, she'd rather not be sharing a room with her younger sister 24/7 and not allowed fresh air as they lock down again.

I can’t even. Do you have access to anything other than the Fox News? Or are you saying you are taking advantage of her situation and her grief?
She could do better than your household. USA is having one of the worst outbreaks ever.

My information comes from her. We've spoken daily since the pandemic hit in March, having matched earlier in the year. Why do you think you know better than her what she'd prefer? She's very excited for moving her life forward after being stuck in stasis for so many months. She'd worked in the tourist industry at home, but there are no jobs. At this point we've agreed she wont come until summer at the earliest. But she was weeks away from arriving and very, very disappointed when Trump put the ban in place.

Two things. Separate. 2BD apt in a top European city is worth more than your house, so your lame attitude made me laugh. Two, now you know that the market is demanding you offer a better price and conditions to your au pair so you better do it or you’re no better than hostage taking exploiter.

Two things. Separate. You know nothing about her apartment or living circumstances. Stop talking out of your ass. Two, we've had a great experience with the program and make sure our au pairs have an amazing experience. No need to worry your little head.

(You realize I'm not the OP, right? Two different people. Keep up.)

Guess what? Many different people on here disagreed with you. Quite diverse. But you’re of the same ilk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let the poorly informed teenager with poor language skills decide if $200 is fair?! NO! It’s for you at your ripe age and in the position of power to be a decent human being. Seriously, how disgusting can you be?

Fortuantely the internet works in more than one language.

NP. You must take the responsibility! I actually have found this thread so disturbing that I would encourage people to call the State Dept and NYT article author to report this board and maybe help the State Dept rules finally be enforced. You are not meant to blackmail au pairs to do work and hours they are not meant to, whatever you are offering (and what you’re offering is below any minimum wage). Please read up on human trafficking, domestic employee exploitation, and take a long hard look at the current context. Then do the right thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, poor her, 2BD apt in Milan. Compared to a basement room in a big house in an anonymous DMV suburb. Such a dumb American thing to say; that’s why we are the but of jokes everywhere. Everyone lives in apartments in Milan Rome Paris. You should be so lucky to have a chance at a 2BD in one of these places, middle aged suburban housewife.

You are aware of what happened in Italy in the spring, right? She had a terrible time being essentially locked inside for months on end. They weren't even allowed outside to exercise.. Her grandparents died of COVID and she couldn't see them. So yes, she'd rather not be sharing a room with her younger sister 24/7 and not allowed fresh air as they lock down again.

I can’t even. Do you have access to anything other than the Fox News? Or are you saying you are taking advantage of her situation and her grief?
She could do better than your household. USA is having one of the worst outbreaks ever.

My information comes from her. We've spoken daily since the pandemic hit in March, having matched earlier in the year. Why do you think you know better than her what she'd prefer? She's very excited for moving her life forward after being stuck in stasis for so many months. She'd worked in the tourist industry at home, but there are no jobs. At this point we've agreed she wont come until summer at the earliest. But she was weeks away from arriving and very, very disappointed when Trump put the ban in place.

Two things. Separate. 2BD apt in a top European city is worth more than your house, so your lame attitude made me laugh. Two, now you know that the market is demanding you offer a better price and conditions to your au pair so you better do it or you’re no better than hostage taking exploiter.

Two things. Separate. You know nothing about her apartment or living circumstances. Stop talking out of your ass. Two, we've had a great experience with the program and make sure our au pairs have an amazing experience. No need to worry your little head.

(You realize I'm not the OP, right? Two different people. Keep up.)

Guess what? Many different people on here disagreed with you. Quite diverse. But you’re of the same ilk.

Disagreed with what? My anecdote that I know a prospective au pair who would really like to still come be an au pair even during COVID? That she's done the cost/benefit analysis.and still thinks it's a good option? Fine. People can tell me that they disagree with her opinion, but that doesn't hold much water since they aren't in her shoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, poor her, 2BD apt in Milan. Compared to a basement room in a big house in an anonymous DMV suburb. Such a dumb American thing to say; that’s why we are the but of jokes everywhere. Everyone lives in apartments in Milan Rome Paris. You should be so lucky to have a chance at a 2BD in one of these places, middle aged suburban housewife.

You are aware of what happened in Italy in the spring, right? She had a terrible time being essentially locked inside for months on end. They weren't even allowed outside to exercise.. Her grandparents died of COVID and she couldn't see them. So yes, she'd rather not be sharing a room with her younger sister 24/7 and not allowed fresh air as they lock down again.

I can’t even. Do you have access to anything other than the Fox News? Or are you saying you are taking advantage of her situation and her grief?
She could do better than your household. USA is having one of the worst outbreaks ever.

My information comes from her. We've spoken daily since the pandemic hit in March, having matched earlier in the year. Why do you think you know better than her what she'd prefer? She's very excited for moving her life forward after being stuck in stasis for so many months. She'd worked in the tourist industry at home, but there are no jobs. At this point we've agreed she wont come until summer at the earliest. But she was weeks away from arriving and very, very disappointed when Trump put the ban in place.

Two things. Separate. 2BD apt in a top European city is worth more than your house, so your lame attitude made me laugh. Two, now you know that the market is demanding you offer a better price and conditions to your au pair so you better do it or you’re no better than hostage taking exploiter.

Two things. Separate. You know nothing about her apartment or living circumstances. Stop talking out of your ass. Two, we've had a great experience with the program and make sure our au pairs have an amazing experience. No need to worry your little head.

Not the PP. but Wow. What a cultural experience this young lady is in for, marvelous?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, poor her, 2BD apt in Milan. Compared to a basement room in a big house in an anonymous DMV suburb. Such a dumb American thing to say; that’s why we are the but of jokes everywhere. Everyone lives in apartments in Milan Rome Paris. You should be so lucky to have a chance at a 2BD in one of these places, middle aged suburban housewife.

You are aware of what happened in Italy in the spring, right? She had a terrible time being essentially locked inside for months on end. They weren't even allowed outside to exercise.. Her grandparents died of COVID and she couldn't see them. So yes, she'd rather not be sharing a room with her younger sister 24/7 and not allowed fresh air as they lock down again.

I can’t even. Do you have access to anything other than the Fox News? Or are you saying you are taking advantage of her situation and her grief?
She could do better than your household. USA is having one of the worst outbreaks ever.

My information comes from her. We've spoken daily since the pandemic hit in March, having matched earlier in the year. Why do you think you know better than her what she'd prefer? She's very excited for moving her life forward after being stuck in stasis for so many months. She'd worked in the tourist industry at home, but there are no jobs. At this point we've agreed she wont come until summer at the earliest. But she was weeks away from arriving and very, very disappointed when Trump put the ban in place.

Two things. Separate. 2BD apt in a top European city is worth more than your house, so your lame attitude made me laugh. Two, now you know that the market is demanding you offer a better price and conditions to your au pair so you better do it or you’re no better than hostage taking exploiter.

Two things. Separate. You know nothing about her apartment or living circumstances. Stop talking out of your ass. Two, we've had a great experience with the program and make sure our au pairs have an amazing experience. No need to worry your little head.

(You realize I'm not the OP, right? Two different people. Keep up.)

Guess what? Many different people on here disagreed with you. Quite diverse. But you’re of the same ilk.

Disagreed with what? My anecdote that I know a prospective au pair who would really like to still come be an au pair even during COVID? That she's done the cost/benefit analysis.and still thinks it's a good option? Fine. People can tell me that they disagree with her opinion, but that doesn't hold much water since they aren't in her shoes.

No. That you think she should while bereaved figure out by herself that you are offering her a deal below any market value for au pairs in the US today. And that you are ambivalent about what au pairs are are are not expected to do. If I trick a teenager into working duties they are no meant to for a wage well below ever other teenager in that position, is that not exploitative of me? You seem to be suggesting no, since she wants to and could google and find out that she probably shouldn’t. Read DC consumer protection act or Karl Racine tweets; may not apply here but will be very instructive as a compass since I can’t imagine you are more ethical in your other business dealings

[Anonymous]

No. That you think she should while bereaved figure out by herself that you are offering her a deal below any market value for au pairs in the US today. And that you are ambivalent about what au pairs are are are not expected to do. If I trick a teenager into working duties they are no meant to for a wage well below ever other teenager in that position, is that not exploitative of me? You seem to be suggesting no, since she wants to and could google and find out that she probably shouldn’t. Read DC consumer protection act or Karl Racine tweets; may not apply here but will be very instructive as a compass since I can’t imagine you are more ethical in your other business dealings

What are you talking about? I'm not the OP. We never ask our au pairs to do anything outside the approved duties, we pay above market and we work hard to make sure our au pairs have a fabulous experience. They each have called their au pair year the best year of their life and have generally opted to stay for a second year with our family.

A million posts ago I responded to a point that its abusive to have au pairs during the pandemic at all. I merely disagreed. The pandemic is terrible everywhere. Let the au pairs decide whether they still want to be an au pair. Many, many went home at the beginning of the pandemic. Some stayed. And some still want to come anyways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, poor her, 2BD apt in Milan. Compared to a basement room in a big house in an anonymous DMV suburb. Such a dumb American thing to say; that’s why we are the but of jokes everywhere. Everyone lives in apartments in Milan Rome Paris. You should be so lucky to have a chance at a 2BD in one of these places, middle aged suburban housewife.

You are aware of what happened in Italy in the spring, right? She had a terrible time being essentially locked inside for months on end. They weren't even allowed outside to exercise.. Her grandparents died of COVID and she couldn't see them. So yes, she'd rather not be sharing a room with her younger sister 24/7 and not allowed fresh air as they lock down again.

I can’t even. Do you have access to anything other than the Fox News? Or are you saying you are taking advantage of her situation and her grief?
She could do better than your household. USA is having one of the worst outbreaks ever.

My information comes from her. We've spoken daily since the pandemic hit in March, having matched earlier in the year. Why do you think you know better than her what she'd prefer? She's very excited for moving her life forward after being stuck in stasis for so many months. She'd worked in the tourist industry at home, but there are no jobs. At this point we've agreed she wont come until summer at the earliest. But she was weeks away from arriving and very, very disappointed when Trump put the ban in place.

Two things. Separate. 2BD apt in a top European city is worth more than your house, so your lame attitude made me laugh. Two, now you know that the market is demanding you offer a better price and conditions to your au pair so you better do it or you’re no better than hostage taking exploiter.

Two things. Separate. You know nothing about her apartment or living circumstances. Stop talking out of your ass. Two, we've had a great experience with the program and make sure our au pairs have an amazing experience. No need to worry your little head.

Not the PP. but Wow. What a cultural experience this young lady is in for, marvelous?!

Not the Kennedy Center cultural experience for sure. Instead, judging the the host mother’s language skills, The Real Housewives Crash Course in Poor and Crass No Class English Language Cultural Experience?