Wife spends too much money on stupid crafts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a peach. Just be lucky you found someone who puts up with your bad attitude. Wife's crafting is the least of your worries. You need a new personality.

No, OP sounds normal and it's the wife that has a problem. I am sure she is not working if this is how she's spending all her time.

Clutter is annoying. Going to the gym doesn't clutter the house with "stuff."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP--your post makes me sad.

I am reminded of visiting an immigrant cousin of DH. The wife, also an immigrant, offered to show me her hobby room. It was totally immaculate and there were shelves of dolls standing in elaborate and rather garish costumes she made for them.

As I took in all my perceived tackiness of the hobby, her husband came in and went on about how much he admired all her handicraft and all the donations she made to her church of the dolls for auctions etc.

He clearly was proud of something his wife did that was actually not at all a personal interest of his. I will add that his wife is obese, not mildly so, but really so. No matter, he was still proud.

Like most immigrants, he came over with very little. He built a business and was successful enough he could indulge his wife's hobby, which she used to give back to her community, and it was a source of pride to him.

It made me ashamed of my all too quick tacky assessment of her hobby.

This is a more beautiful and human sentiment than 99% of Internet content. Thank you.

As a die-hard cynic, I'm going to rain on your beautiful sentimental parades a little. Even if the wife were an atheist who didn't donate anything whatsoever to any church, even if the husband came over here with a trust fund and a bunch of offshore accounts, even if the wife were hot as a supermodel, she still had the right to indulge in any activity she enjoys, as long as it isn't illegal. Even if OP finds is 'garish and tacky'.

+1 million

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you may be emotionally stunted. No idea if your wife is as well but I can imagine the possibility. You say nothing about the relationship other than the 20 pounds and the crafting. It might be that the marriage is so emotionally deprived she has become fed up with you and just does her hobby. It may be that the crafting (vs gym) thing is simply a declaration of war by both sides.

There is more going on here besides the crafting. But your obsession with her going to the gym to get her out of the craft room just shows how limited you are in your approach to your marriage.

[Anonymous]

OP $600/month sounds like a lot for paper & glue crafts. But it’s less than half the cost of maintaining a horse and about 1/3 of a golf hobby. You seem really mad at your DW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP--your post makes me sad.

I am reminded of visiting an immigrant cousin of DH. The wife, also an immigrant, offered to show me her hobby room. It was totally immaculate and there were shelves of dolls standing in elaborate and rather garish costumes she made for them.

As I took in all my perceived tackiness of the hobby, her husband came in and went on about how much he admired all her handicraft and all the donations she made to her church of the dolls for auctions etc.

He clearly was proud of something his wife did that was actually not at all a personal interest of his. I will add that his wife is obese, not mildly so, but really so. No matter, he was still proud.

Like most immigrants, he came over with very little. He built a business and was successful enough he could indulge his wife's hobby, which she used to give back to her community, and it was a source of pride to him.

It made me ashamed of my all too quick tacky assessment of her hobby.

This thread was worth it for this post.

+1. Also brought back memories of an elderly second cousin who used to crochet those dolls dresses for upper body dolls to cover toilet paper rolls (imagine scarlet ohara with a toilet paper roll under her skirt) or to cover old coolwhip tubs. I had one of the latter as a child to store hair clips in. I remember thinking the toilet paper covers were so weird, but she was such a sweet lady and she really enjoyed making them and donating to various places. May she rest in peace. I feel sorry for OP’s wife, given his evident contempt for her.

Lol I can’t even quite picture this. It sounds really weird. But if it made her happy and she enjoyed it as a hobby, that’s what counts!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP--your post makes me sad.

I am reminded of visiting an immigrant cousin of DH. The wife, also an immigrant, offered to show me her hobby room. It was totally immaculate and there were shelves of dolls standing in elaborate and rather garish costumes she made for them.

As I took in all my perceived tackiness of the hobby, her husband came in and went on about how much he admired all her handicraft and all the donations she made to her church of the dolls for auctions etc.

He clearly was proud of something his wife did that was actually not at all a personal interest of his. I will add that his wife is obese, not mildly so, but really so. No matter, he was still proud.

Like most immigrants, he came over with very little. He built a business and was successful enough he could indulge his wife's hobby, which she used to give back to her community, and it was a source of pride to him.

It made me ashamed of my all too quick tacky assessment of her hobby.

This thread was worth it for this post.

+1. Also brought back memories of an elderly second cousin who used to crochet those dolls dresses for upper body dolls to cover toilet paper rolls (imagine scarlet ohara with a toilet paper roll under her skirt) or to cover old coolwhip tubs. I had one of the latter as a child to store hair clips in. I remember thinking the toilet paper covers were so weird, but she was such a sweet lady and she really enjoyed making them and donating to various places. May she rest in peace. I feel sorry for OP’s wife, given his evident contempt for her.

Lol I can’t even quite picture this. It sounds really weird. But if it made her happy and she enjoyed it as a hobby, that’s what counts!

I also felt badly when I realized how I used to scoff at some of the "crafts" that the old ladies at my church made every year for the church fair....as I've gotten older, and realize that a) old ladies in nursing homes have no money, have no ability to go shopping, and have arthritic hands--the idea that they kept themselves busy making these little items for the fair all year says so much about their values. They didn't just sit around watching TV all day, they recycled what they had or whatever people donated into pretty (well, often tacky) little (useless) things that were probably time-consuming for them to make. Now I kind of wish I had a coffee can wrapped in yarn to display my Christmas cards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It does not matter if you don’t “get” her hobby. You should each have an equal budget for enjoyment: be it golf, going to athletic events, buying music, etc. She does not have to justify to you how she spends her share.

It is likely her only escape. (Could be much much worse, or expensive)

PP, don't you think dropping $600-$800 a month on crafting supplies is expensive? Think how much they can save plus, the wife racks up her credit card and is late on paying her bills.

They should agree in advance on what they can afford, and BOTH stick within that range. It is his disdain for how she chooses to spend her time that is so obnoxious (and disrespectful).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP--your post makes me sad.

I am reminded of visiting an immigrant cousin of DH. The wife, also an immigrant, offered to show me her hobby room. It was totally immaculate and there were shelves of dolls standing in elaborate and rather garish costumes she made for them.

As I took in all my perceived tackiness of the hobby, her husband came in and went on about how much he admired all her handicraft and all the donations she made to her church of the dolls for auctions etc.

He clearly was proud of something his wife did that was actually not at all a personal interest of his. I will add that his wife is obese, not mildly so, but really so. No matter, he was still proud.

Like most immigrants, he came over with very little. He built a business and was successful enough he could indulge his wife's hobby, which she used to give back to her community, and it was a source of pride to him.

It made me ashamed of my all too quick tacky assessment of her hobby.

This thread was worth it for this post.

+1. Also brought back memories of an elderly second cousin who used to crochet those dolls dresses for upper body dolls to cover toilet paper rolls (imagine scarlet ohara with a toilet paper roll under her skirt) or to cover old coolwhip tubs. I had one of the latter as a child to store hair clips in. I remember thinking the toilet paper covers were so weird, but she was such a sweet lady and she really enjoyed making them and donating to various places. May she rest in peace. I feel sorry for OP’s wife, given his evident contempt for her.

Lol I can’t even quite picture this. It sounds really weird. But if it made her happy and she enjoyed it as a hobby, that’s what counts!

I also felt badly when I realized how I used to scoff at some of the "crafts" that the old ladies at my church made every year for the church fair....as I've gotten older, and realize that a) old ladies in nursing homes have no money, have no ability to go shopping, and have arthritic hands--the idea that they kept themselves busy making these little items for the fair all year says so much about their values. They didn't just sit around watching TV all day, they recycled what they had or whatever people donated into pretty (well, often tacky) little (useless) things that were probably time-consuming for them to make. Now I kind of wish I had a coffee can wrapped in yarn to display my Christmas cards.

My elderly great-aunt used to make Dammit Dolls for the church bazaar - she used fabric scraps and recycled clothing for to make and stuff them and type out the kitchy poem on her manual typewriter, and they're small, useful, and a great reminder of her. One of my professional colleagues bought me a mass-manufactured one a couple years ago, and I realized my auntie was just ahead of her time.

My grandmother had incredible sewing, knitting, crochet, etc. skills. She could make professional-grade slipcovers for furniture in no time at all. We inherited a chair that we didn't realize was slipcovered for the first decade we owned it. Turns out the chair is a totally different color, so my grandmother whipped up a fully piped and fitted custom cover for it to coordinate with her new curtains. THAT'S the sort of craftiness that would come in handy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP $600/month sounds like a lot for paper & glue crafts. But it’s less than half the cost of maintaining a horse and about 1/3 of a golf hobby. You seem really mad at your DW.

OP again. I don't understand why people seem to draw comparison with extreme examples. Of course a horse is going to cost more and I don't even play golf. Yes, I am indeed mad at my wife for making a mess with all her glitter and construction paper. She only cleans up after I ask and just has no interest in anything besides going to Hobby Lobby and Michaels. I could turn a blind eye if she only went to those places for specific items that were needed. Say, placecards for a pre-Covid potluck. But to pay through the nose for items associated with preschoolers? It just makes me laugh and makes me think she has no common sense. All the more so when she doesn't pay off her credit card balance and complains to me that her credit score is getting lower. I tell her "The gym is cheaper and all that sitting makes you unhealthy" and she pulls a long face and goes back to her tacky paper and glue nonsense. None of it is Pinterest-worthy I can assure you. 

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP $600/month sounds like a lot for paper & glue crafts. But it’s less than half the cost of maintaining a horse and about 1/3 of a golf hobby. You seem really mad at your DW.

OP again. I don't understand why people seem to draw comparison with extreme examples. Of course a horse is going to cost more and I don't even play golf. Yes, I am indeed mad at my wife for making a mess with all her glitter and construction paper. She only cleans up after I ask and just has no interest in anything besides going to Hobby Lobby and Michaels. I could turn a blind eye if she only went to those places for specific items that were needed. Say, placecards for a pre-Covid potluck. But to pay through the nose for items associated with preschoolers? It just makes me laugh and makes me think she has no common sense. All the more so when she doesn't pay off her credit card balance and complains to me that her credit score is getting lower. I tell her "The gym is cheaper and all that sitting makes you unhealthy" and she pulls a long face and goes back to her tacky paper and glue nonsense. None of it is Pinterest-worthy I can assure you. 

You don't say one nice thing about your wife. You think she's stupid and tacky and lacks common sense and makes poor financial choices and is fat. Do you even like her at all? Why are you married to someone you have such contempt for?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP $600/month sounds like a lot for paper & glue crafts. But it’s less than half the cost of maintaining a horse and about 1/3 of a golf hobby. You seem really mad at your DW.

OP again. I don't understand why people seem to draw comparison with extreme examples. Of course a horse is going to cost more and I don't even play golf. Yes, I am indeed mad at my wife for making a mess with all her glitter and construction paper. She only cleans up after I ask and just has no interest in anything besides going to Hobby Lobby and Michaels. I could turn a blind eye if she only went to those places for specific items that were needed. Say, placecards for a pre-Covid potluck. But to pay through the nose for items associated with preschoolers? It just makes me laugh and makes me think she has no common sense. All the more so when she doesn't pay off her credit card balance and complains to me that her credit score is getting lower. I tell her "The gym is cheaper and all that sitting makes you unhealthy" and she pulls a long face and goes back to her tacky paper and glue nonsense. None of it is Pinterest-worthy I can assure you. 

You don't say one nice thing about your wife. You think she's stupid and tacky and lacks common sense and makes poor financial choices and is fat. Do you even like her at all? Why are you married to someone you have such contempt for?

You can say the same for the whole of DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP $600/month sounds like a lot for paper & glue crafts. But it’s less than half the cost of maintaining a horse and about 1/3 of a golf hobby. You seem really mad at your DW.

OP again. I don't understand why people seem to draw comparison with extreme examples. Of course a horse is going to cost more and I don't even play golf. Yes, I am indeed mad at my wife for making a mess with all her glitter and construction paper. She only cleans up after I ask and just has no interest in anything besides going to Hobby Lobby and Michaels. I could turn a blind eye if she only went to those places for specific items that were needed. Say, placecards for a pre-Covid potluck. But to pay through the nose for items associated with preschoolers? It just makes me laugh and makes me think she has no common sense. All the more so when she doesn't pay off her credit card balance and complains to me that her credit score is getting lower. I tell her "The gym is cheaper and all that sitting makes you unhealthy" and she pulls a long face and goes back to her tacky paper and glue nonsense. None of it is Pinterest-worthy I can assure you. 

You don't say one nice thing about your wife. You think she's stupid and tacky and lacks common sense and makes poor financial choices and is fat. Do you even like her at all? Why are you married to someone you have such contempt for?

Yup. I feel so bad for OP's wife. I'm sure whatever she makes is probably tacky, and it probably costs too much, and whatever, but it's all so obviously to fill an emotional void in her life left by her totally awful husband. We should start a dcum gofundme to raise money to send her to a crafting class where she might meet some decent human beings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP $600/month sounds like a lot for paper & glue crafts. But it’s less than half the cost of maintaining a horse and about 1/3 of a golf hobby. You seem really mad at your DW.

OP again. I don't understand why people seem to draw comparison with extreme examples. Of course a horse is going to cost more and I don't even play golf. Yes, I am indeed mad at my wife for making a mess with all her glitter and construction paper. She only cleans up after I ask and just has no interest in anything besides going to Hobby Lobby and Michaels. I could turn a blind eye if she only went to those places for specific items that were needed. Say, placecards for a pre-Covid potluck. But to pay through the nose for items associated with preschoolers? It just makes me laugh and makes me think she has no common sense. All the more so when she doesn't pay off her credit card balance and complains to me that her credit score is getting lower. I tell her "The gym is cheaper and all that sitting makes you unhealthy" and she pulls a long face and goes back to her tacky paper and glue nonsense. None of it is Pinterest-worthy I can assure you. 

You don't say one nice thing about your wife. You think she's stupid and tacky and lacks common sense and makes poor financial choices and is fat. Do you even like her at all? Why are you married to someone you have such contempt for?

Yup. I feel so bad for OP's wife. I'm sure whatever she makes is probably tacky, and it probably costs too much, and whatever, but it's all so obviously to fill an emotional void in her life left by her totally awful husband. We should start a dcum gofundme to raise money to send her to a crafting class where she might meet some decent human beings.

Yep, why are OP and his wife still married? Not only does he resent her, he clearly looks down on her and her zero respect for her. Even if she stopped crafting, he would still feel that way about her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP $600/month sounds like a lot for paper & glue crafts. But it’s less than half the cost of maintaining a horse and about 1/3 of a golf hobby. You seem really mad at your DW.

OP again. I don't understand why people seem to draw comparison with extreme examples. Of course a horse is going to cost more and I don't even play golf. Yes, I am indeed mad at my wife for making a mess with all her glitter and construction paper. She only cleans up after I ask and just has no interest in anything besides going to Hobby Lobby and Michaels. I could turn a blind eye if she only went to those places for specific items that were needed. Say, placecards for a pre-Covid potluck. But to pay through the nose for items associated with preschoolers? It just makes me laugh and makes me think she has no common sense. All the more so when she doesn't pay off her credit card balance and complains to me that her credit score is getting lower. I tell her "The gym is cheaper and all that sitting makes you unhealthy" and she pulls a long face and goes back to her tacky paper and glue nonsense. None of it is Pinterest-worthy I can assure you. 

You don't say one nice thing about your wife. You think she's stupid and tacky and lacks common sense and makes poor financial choices and is fat. Do you even like her at all? Why are you married to someone you have such contempt for?

Yup. I feel so bad for OP's wife. I'm sure whatever she makes is probably tacky, and it probably costs too much, and whatever, but it's all so obviously to fill an emotional void in her life left by her totally awful husband. We should start a dcum gofundme to raise money to send her to a crafting class where she might meet some decent human beings.

Yep, why are OP and his wife still married? Not only does he resent her, he clearly looks down on her and her zero respect for her. Even if she stopped crafting, he would still feel that way about her.

I feel bad for OP that he has to put up with someone like this. Who likes an overweight wife who creates clutter and more trash?

[Anonymous]

Op attitude is completely fine. His wife is not making enough money, not she is working hard for the family and infact putting them in debt by maxing out CC from her out of control hobbies. This is way over the line now and looks like it's just not hobby but proving a point for OP's wife. What kind of wife or family person would do this kind of hoarding while jeopardizing the financial health of her family.

People who thinks that she don't need to be called out for this are completely clueless and I am sure they would do the same if their SO is wasting money like this.