I can’t do this anymore. I think I am having a mental meltdown

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually think it’s more a function of WHERE you live than a function of how dysfunctional your family is. People living in suburbs expect to spend a lot of time at home and have their homes set up to pretty much spend all of their time there. People have nice kitchens and in-ground pools. On the other hand, people living in the city expect to spend most of their lives in the city outside their homes. Kitchens are small and set up to be used only rarely. Living areas are small because entertaining would usually take place at a restaurant or somewhere outside the home.
So, people in suburban and rural areas are just having an easier time with quarantine because their physical space is set up for it.

lol uhhhh even though the DC area is very affluent and yes, i suppose in-ground pools are more ubiquitous in wealthy SFH neighborhoods, but even in the suburbs, most people don't have huge kitchens and in-ground pools. who has that much money? i know i am poor by DCUM standards but yikes, seriously? your privilege is showing.

people living in the suburbs expect to be at home more so we have in-ground pools? like most of us don't live in bedroom communities so we can commute downtown? most of us live in communities with access to public and/or HOA pools and pay dues/membership fees to access them. it looks like we won't really have pools this summer at this rate which is a disappointment.

maybe in other parts of the country your statement is true-ish, but not here in the DC metro area, and probably not in most dense urban areas (NYC, LA, Boston, Philly, Chicago, etc. can't speak to the SE, AZ/NM, Texas, or California).

well it's time for me go drink a pitcher of margaritas and laugh about how poor i am in our inflatable pool, thanks for the laugh!

Ok. Sorry. Take out the “in ground pool” statement.
Other than that, suburban/rural homes are meant to have life lived inside them. Urban apartments and townhomes are a home-base for a life mostly lived in the city.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually think it’s more a function of WHERE you live than a function of how dysfunctional your family is. People living in suburbs expect to spend a lot of time at home and have their homes set up to pretty much spend all of their time there. People have nice kitchens and in-ground pools. On the other hand, people living in the city expect to spend most of their lives in the city outside their homes. Kitchens are small and set up to be used only rarely. Living areas are small because entertaining would usually take place at a restaurant or somewhere outside the home.
So, people in suburban and rural areas are just having an easier time with quarantine because their physical space is set up for it.

lol uhhhh even though the DC area is very affluent and yes, i suppose in-ground pools are more ubiquitous in wealthy SFH neighborhoods, but even in the suburbs, most people don't have huge kitchens and in-ground pools. who has that much money? i know i am poor by DCUM standards but yikes, seriously? your privilege is showing.

people living in the suburbs expect to be at home more so we have in-ground pools? like most of us don't live in bedroom communities so we can commute downtown? most of us live in communities with access to public and/or HOA pools and pay dues/membership fees to access them. it looks like we won't really have pools this summer at this rate which is a disappointment.

maybe in other parts of the country your statement is true-ish, but not here in the DC metro area, and probably not in most dense urban areas (NYC, LA, Boston, Philly, Chicago, etc. can't speak to the SE, AZ/NM, Texas, or California).

well it's time for me go drink a pitcher of margaritas and laugh about how poor i am in our inflatable pool, thanks for the laugh!

Ok. Sorry. Take out the “in ground pool” statement.
Other than that, suburban/rural homes are meant to have life lived inside them. Urban apartments and townhomes are a home-base for a life mostly lived in the city.

thank you for amending your original opinion, and i accept your argument.

please accept this margarita as a token of my respect.

[Anonymous]

I hear you OP, I want to run away..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually think it’s more a function of WHERE you live than a function of how dysfunctional your family is. People living in suburbs expect to spend a lot of time at home and have their homes set up to pretty much spend all of their time there. People have nice kitchens and in-ground pools. On the other hand, people living in the city expect to spend most of their lives in the city outside their homes. Kitchens are small and set up to be used only rarely. Living areas are small because entertaining would usually take place at a restaurant or somewhere outside the home.
So, people in suburban and rural areas are just having an easier time with quarantine because their physical space is set up for it.

lol uhhhh even though the DC area is very affluent and yes, i suppose in-ground pools are more ubiquitous in wealthy SFH neighborhoods, but even in the suburbs, most people don't have huge kitchens and in-ground pools. who has that much money? i know i am poor by DCUM standards but yikes, seriously? your privilege is showing.

people living in the suburbs expect to be at home more so we have in-ground pools? like most of us don't live in bedroom communities so we can commute downtown? most of us live in communities with access to public and/or HOA pools and pay dues/membership fees to access them. it looks like we won't really have pools this summer at this rate which is a disappointment.

maybe in other parts of the country your statement is true-ish, but not here in the DC metro area, and probably not in most dense urban areas (NYC, LA, Boston, Philly, Chicago, etc. can't speak to the SE, AZ/NM, Texas, or California).

well it's time for me go drink a pitcher of margaritas and laugh about how poor i am in our inflatable pool, thanks for the laugh!

Ok. Sorry. Take out the “in ground pool” statement.
Other than that, suburban/rural homes are meant to have life lived inside them. Urban apartments and townhomes are a home-base for a life mostly lived in the city.

thank you for amending your original opinion, and i accept your argument.

please accept this margarita as a token of my respect.

Lol...it’s actually stolen from, and stated more eloquently in “The Atlantic.” Something about this article just rang so true for me that I wanted to pass the idea off as my own .
https://www.theatlantic.com/culture/archive/2020/03/finding-privacy-during-pandemic/608944/

[Anonymous]

There are very few times I’ve been this depressed in my life. It’s definitely a low point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Heck yes. Single mom, working from home full time. 2 second graders. Just got an email today from one of the teachers that one of my girls hasn’t turned in her social studies and science slides since May 4 and will likely impact her final assessment.

WTF?! Second graders are expected to self teach about the American Revolution.

I have struggled, pushed, reviewed and corrected mat and ELA slides on a daily basis for 2 kids since March. The Science/Social studies slides were posted in the weekly discussion section, not the daily assignments.

I’m so angry, overwhelmed, and feeling like complete f’ing failure because I can’t be a mom, employee, full time caretaker, homemaker, and teacher at the same time.

Hi PP, please don't feel like a failure. There's no way you could be doing it all.

I am a teacher; I can't speak for your child's teacher but from my point of view, I have to send emails letting parents know their kids didn't complete work to cover myself if they complain about the grade. WHO CARES about a second graders SS grade though? If you don't I am sure it won't be a problem.

But right now I am being urged to get all makeup work in so I am reaching out to parents to let them know their child has missing work. I am willing to sit down with the kids over a Zoom or Google Meet conference and talk them through their missing assignments too. If you just let the teacher know what is going on she might also be willing to help your child just get credit

OR just go on the damn slides and fill them out for your child and send them in. There's always that low stress option. Don't worry about it. Make life easy on yourself and your kids.

I know teacher Pp you are trying to be kind but are you really suggesting that it is productive for this overwhelmed parent to do their kids’ assignment so you can check off a box? Why oh why are you giving assignments that require so much supervision for kids to do, knowing that many don’t have parents who have the bandwidth to help? Writing slides about the American revolution in 2nd grade? Seriously?

More importantly why are actually assessing whether students turn this work in? As you clearly state, whether they turn it in and how good it is is just a measure of how much extra time and energy the parents have to put toward this. It has virtually no correlation toward any type of educational achievement you would want to assess. You are literally assessing whether a child has a good home life. Yes that factors in normally but normally there is also some modicum of whether the child does the work as you actually also have them do work in school.

This is ridiculous. I say this as someone with all of the privilege in the world - I have an incredibly safe job, a PhD,a nanny who comes now full time and helps my kids with their work so I don’t have to.

I really wish teachers would do something less stupid with their days than look for missing work that required parents to master complex software, supervise their kids. I wish they actually sought out the kids who are being left behind who have no tablet and talked to them or got books mailed to them , checked in with kids who they suspect might be being abused and worked with parents to make sure their kids learned something.
Instead you are shaming this parent to keep your meaningless paperwork straight.

I really think most teachers mean well but I wish that this crisis has helped us remember the purpose of school and learning and education and not become meaningless hubs of checklists and videos. We are already drowning in that in the 21st century. Please. Stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are very few times I’ve been this depressed in my life. It’s definitely a low point.

I’m sorry. We lost a family member to COVID19 and work has slowed down so have money issues. I feel your pain. It’s a very distressing time, but at least our nuclear family members are healthy.

[Anonymous]

Go to the beach. You need a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually think it’s more a function of WHERE you live than a function of how dysfunctional your family is. People living in suburbs expect to spend a lot of time at home and have their homes set up to pretty much spend all of their time there. People have nice kitchens and in-ground pools. On the other hand, people living in the city expect to spend most of their lives in the city outside their homes. Kitchens are small and set up to be used only rarely. Living areas are small because entertaining would usually take place at a restaurant or somewhere outside the home.
So, people in suburban and rural areas are just having an easier time with quarantine because their physical space is set up for it.

lol uhhhh even though the DC area is very affluent and yes, i suppose in-ground pools are more ubiquitous in wealthy SFH neighborhoods, but even in the suburbs, most people don't have huge kitchens and in-ground pools. who has that much money? i know i am poor by DCUM standards but yikes, seriously? your privilege is showing.

people living in the suburbs expect to be at home more so we have in-ground pools? like most of us don't live in bedroom communities so we can commute downtown? most of us live in communities with access to public and/or HOA pools and pay dues/membership fees to access them. it looks like we won't really have pools this summer at this rate which is a disappointment.

maybe in other parts of the country your statement is true-ish, but not here in the DC metro area, and probably not in most dense urban areas (NYC, LA, Boston, Philly, Chicago, etc. can't speak to the SE, AZ/NM, Texas, or California).

well it's time for me go drink a pitcher of margaritas and laugh about how poor i am in our inflatable pool, thanks for the laugh!

NP here and even inflatable pool is not an option for most city dwellers.. except maybe their bathtub

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will do what's best for the overall health and safety of my family. If that means we continue to shelter-in-place, then so be it. My kids go outside and play every day. They sometimes play at a distance with other kids. My older kid connects with friends online. I took my kids to the park on Monday, but we kept our distance from other people. This isn't an all or nothing situation, and it never really was. You just have to be mindful, careful, and minimize people contact at this junction. It won't last forever. Yes, its very, very challenging teleworking, being tech support, teaching kids, and trying to make sure assignments are turned in, particularly when teachers are vague, but it is what is for now. I haven't been 100% successful and I dare anyone at work or school to complain about it. I am doing my best.

+ 1

I thinnk people who are having mental breakdowns are the ones who were not very involved parents even before COVID. I think the pandemic has made it clear how dysfunctional many families were. That is the reason child abuse and domestic violence has increased to. Earlier people could escape outside the home. Now we are at home and if it is not a haven then everything falls apart.

It is not an all or nothing situation. People are being creative and kids are also playing outside, studying and connecting with friends online. Is your house is a bit messier? Are the chores not done? Have you not been folding clothes after doing laundry? Yes. For most of us all of this is happening and these are minor inconveninces. There are a lot of benefits of staying at home too - kids being able to sleep in duing the week, No commute, Being with family, leisurely pace of school work, no running from one EC to another...these are all benefits that evens out the drawbacks.

Wait what? Are you saying that if you’re having a hard time now that means your family was already dysfunctional or you were a checked out parent? That’s ludicrous.

DP here. Yes, I think parents who were super hands off/checked out before or outsourced at ton of things are struggling more now. I am SAHM whose husband works a regular 40 hour/week job. We didn't outsource cleaning or have childcare beyond an occasional date night. This hasn't really been that much of an adjustment for us other than everyone missing friends, which is a little better now that we are seeing people outdoors.

I have a different take. I think the parents who were very controlling before, such that their kids didn't have unapproved interactions and who already limited playdates, no exposure to babysitters, no group camps, etc., are not struggling. This is their dream, in fact -- they can isolate and control their kids even more.

This is sooooo spot on! Now the controlling parents are even more emboldened than they were before, and now they can judge everyone else. It really is about control. I sense a lot of anxious kids in our future.

No sweetie, good parents probably avoided letting their kids play with yours because they can spot negligent parents and poorly bought up children. Functional families have a way to make things work. If you have not lost your job and are in good health, then this pandemic is nothing that cannot be endured with grace. People are freaking out because they have to feed the kids or keep the house clean or educate them, even though they are working from home and can take out time to post on DCUM. It is lack of planning and organization that has made these parents into failures. Many parents are lacking in adulting skills like cooking, cleaning, teaching elementary school kids or even knowing how to parent. Many parents are drinking, being neglectful and being unhappy because they want someone else to be with their children.

They are having a MENTAL MELTDOWN. Well, there is probably going to be another 18 months of this stuff.

Imagine having a 40+ hour a week job on top of whatever it is you do. This is why I say, SAHMs should probably step back and let the grownups talk about grownup topics.

Then quit, take a leave of absence, or find childcare.
It’s hardly the fault of some SAHM that you can’t manage your life.

I have childcare (a nanny). I am living my best life right now. But I know many people whose kids were in daycare, and it’s tough to interview or trust a new nanny right now. Or some people have SN school-age kids and it’s hard to manage them while working. Anyone with two brain cells can understand that there are tough situations that don’t arise out of dysfunctional families. Anyone who doesn’t (like this SAHM) should probably stop participating in discussions above their level of understanding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Heck yes. Single mom, working from home full time. 2 second graders. Just got an email today from one of the teachers that one of my girls hasn’t turned in her social studies and science slides since May 4 and will likely impact her final assessment.

WTF?! Second graders are expected to self teach about the American Revolution.

I have struggled, pushed, reviewed and corrected mat and ELA slides on a daily basis for 2 kids since March. The Science/Social studies slides were posted in the weekly discussion section, not the daily assignments.

I’m so angry, overwhelmed, and feeling like complete f’ing failure because I can’t be a mom, employee, full time caretaker, homemaker, and teacher at the same time.

Talk to the teacher. I know what it is like to have to oversee this schoolwork with other irons in the fire. One teacher has material buried in Canvas and another has it all nicely laid out in Google Classroom. It’s hard to keep up. They have a lot of discretion. Also, it is 2nd grade. Don’t be hard on yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will do what's best for the overall health and safety of my family. If that means we continue to shelter-in-place, then so be it. My kids go outside and play every day. They sometimes play at a distance with other kids. My older kid connects with friends online. I took my kids to the park on Monday, but we kept our distance from other people. This isn't an all or nothing situation, and it never really was. You just have to be mindful, careful, and minimize people contact at this junction. It won't last forever. Yes, its very, very challenging teleworking, being tech support, teaching kids, and trying to make sure assignments are turned in, particularly when teachers are vague, but it is what is for now. I haven't been 100% successful and I dare anyone at work or school to complain about it. I am doing my best.

+ 1

I thinnk people who are having mental breakdowns are the ones who were not very involved parents even before COVID. I think the pandemic has made it clear how dysfunctional many families were. That is the reason child abuse and domestic violence has increased to. Earlier people could escape outside the home. Now we are at home and if it is not a haven then everything falls apart.

It is not an all or nothing situation. People are being creative and kids are also playing outside, studying and connecting with friends online. Is your house is a bit messier? Are the chores not done? Have you not been folding clothes after doing laundry? Yes. For most of us all of this is happening and these are minor inconveninces. There are a lot of benefits of staying at home too - kids being able to sleep in duing the week, No commute, Being with family, leisurely pace of school work, no running from one EC to another...these are all benefits that evens out the drawbacks.

Wait what? Are you saying that if you’re having a hard time now that means your family was already dysfunctional or you were a checked out parent? That’s ludicrous.

DP here. Yes, I think parents who were super hands off/checked out before or outsourced at ton of things are struggling more now. I am SAHM whose husband works a regular 40 hour/week job. We didn't outsource cleaning or have childcare beyond an occasional date night. This hasn't really been that much of an adjustment for us other than everyone missing friends, which is a little better now that we are seeing people outdoors.

I have a different take. I think the parents who were very controlling before, such that their kids didn't have unapproved interactions and who already limited playdates, no exposure to babysitters, no group camps, etc., are not struggling. This is their dream, in fact -- they can isolate and control their kids even more.

This is sooooo spot on! Now the controlling parents are even more emboldened than they were before, and now they can judge everyone else. It really is about control. I sense a lot of anxious kids in our future.

No sweetie, good parents probably avoided letting their kids play with yours because they can spot negligent parents and poorly bought up children. Functional families have a way to make things work. If you have not lost your job and are in good health, then this pandemic is nothing that cannot be endured with grace. People are freaking out because they have to feed the kids or keep the house clean or educate them, even though they are working from home and can take out time to post on DCUM. It is lack of planning and organization that has made these parents into failures. Many parents are lacking in adulting skills like cooking, cleaning, teaching elementary school kids or even knowing how to parent. Many parents are drinking, being neglectful and being unhappy because they want someone else to be with their children.

They are having a MENTAL MELTDOWN. Well, there is probably going to be another 18 months of this stuff.

Imagine having a 40+ hour a week job on top of whatever it is you do. This is why I say, SAHMs should probably step back and let the grownups talk about grownup topics.

Then quit, take a leave of absence, or find childcare.
It’s hardly the fault of some SAHM that you can’t manage your life.

No one said it was the fault of SAHMs, but nice try at a straw man. People are simply saying that you, as a SAHM, shouldn’t be such a phenomenal bitch to people who are struggling to work while caring for their kids right now. We get it, you decided long ago while things were easier that you couldn’t cope with working while raising kids, which if anything should make you more empathetic to what working parents are struggling with right now. That you are instead going out of your way to degrade working parents makes me think that you’re really just an objectively horrible person all the time (in which case your kids might be better off if they weren’t home with you all the time), or you are projecting the shit out of your own issues because you’re actually struggling and miserable yourself.

So which is it, are you trying to pretend you’re not struggling right now, or are you just a toxic person in general?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will do what's best for the overall health and safety of my family. If that means we continue to shelter-in-place, then so be it. My kids go outside and play every day. They sometimes play at a distance with other kids. My older kid connects with friends online. I took my kids to the park on Monday, but we kept our distance from other people. This isn't an all or nothing situation, and it never really was. You just have to be mindful, careful, and minimize people contact at this junction. It won't last forever. Yes, its very, very challenging teleworking, being tech support, teaching kids, and trying to make sure assignments are turned in, particularly when teachers are vague, but it is what is for now. I haven't been 100% successful and I dare anyone at work or school to complain about it. I am doing my best.

+ 1

I thinnk people who are having mental breakdowns are the ones who were not very involved parents even before COVID. I think the pandemic has made it clear how dysfunctional many families were. That is the reason child abuse and domestic violence has increased to. Earlier people could escape outside the home. Now we are at home and if it is not a haven then everything falls apart.

It is not an all or nothing situation. People are being creative and kids are also playing outside, studying and connecting with friends online. Is your house is a bit messier? Are the chores not done? Have you not been folding clothes after doing laundry? Yes. For most of us all of this is happening and these are minor inconveninces. There are a lot of benefits of staying at home too - kids being able to sleep in duing the week, No commute, Being with family, leisurely pace of school work, no running from one EC to another...these are all benefits that evens out the drawbacks.

Wait what? Are you saying that if you’re having a hard time now that means your family was already dysfunctional or you were a checked out parent? That’s ludicrous.

DP here. Yes, I think parents who were super hands off/checked out before or outsourced at ton of things are struggling more now. I am SAHM whose husband works a regular 40 hour/week job. We didn't outsource cleaning or have childcare beyond an occasional date night. This hasn't really been that much of an adjustment for us other than everyone missing friends, which is a little better now that we are seeing people outdoors.

I have a different take. I think the parents who were very controlling before, such that their kids didn't have unapproved interactions and who already limited playdates, no exposure to babysitters, no group camps, etc., are not struggling. This is their dream, in fact -- they can isolate and control their kids even more.

This is sooooo spot on! Now the controlling parents are even more emboldened than they were before, and now they can judge everyone else. It really is about control. I sense a lot of anxious kids in our future.

No sweetie, good parents probably avoided letting their kids play with yours because they can spot negligent parents and poorly bought up children. Functional families have a way to make things work. If you have not lost your job and are in good health, then this pandemic is nothing that cannot be endured with grace. People are freaking out because they have to feed the kids or keep the house clean or educate them, even though they are working from home and can take out time to post on DCUM. It is lack of planning and organization that has made these parents into failures. Many parents are lacking in adulting skills like cooking, cleaning, teaching elementary school kids or even knowing how to parent. Many parents are drinking, being neglectful and being unhappy because they want someone else to be with their children.

They are having a MENTAL MELTDOWN. Well, there is probably going to be another 18 months of this stuff.

Imagine having a 40+ hour a week job on top of whatever it is you do. This is why I say, SAHMs should probably step back and let the grownups talk about grownup topics.

Then quit, take a leave of absence, or find childcare.
It’s hardly the fault of some SAHM that you can’t manage your life.

I have childcare (a nanny). I am living my best life right now. But I know many people whose kids were in daycare, and it’s tough to interview or trust a new nanny right now. Or some people have SN school-age kids and it’s hard to manage them while working. Anyone with two brain cells can understand that there are tough situations that don’t arise out of dysfunctional families. Anyone who doesn’t (like this SAHM) should probably stop participating in discussions above their level of understanding.

I’m not the above SAHM poster. I work part time without childcare. Working full time while providing full time care to a special needs child is insane. And the reasons that SAHMs get slammed (can’t hack it at work, don’t need any mental stimulation, etc) all imply that this is something anyone can do, but most people choose not to.

So, either admit that you cannot be a SAHM, and the reason you are working is because you have put yourself in a situation where you need the money, or realize that every day this is a choice you make and stop complaining about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will do what's best for the overall health and safety of my family. If that means we continue to shelter-in-place, then so be it. My kids go outside and play every day. They sometimes play at a distance with other kids. My older kid connects with friends online. I took my kids to the park on Monday, but we kept our distance from other people. This isn't an all or nothing situation, and it never really was. You just have to be mindful, careful, and minimize people contact at this junction. It won't last forever. Yes, its very, very challenging teleworking, being tech support, teaching kids, and trying to make sure assignments are turned in, particularly when teachers are vague, but it is what is for now. I haven't been 100% successful and I dare anyone at work or school to complain about it. I am doing my best.

+ 1

I thinnk people who are having mental breakdowns are the ones who were not very involved parents even before COVID. I think the pandemic has made it clear how dysfunctional many families were. That is the reason child abuse and domestic violence has increased to. Earlier people could escape outside the home. Now we are at home and if it is not a haven then everything falls apart.

It is not an all or nothing situation. People are being creative and kids are also playing outside, studying and connecting with friends online. Is your house is a bit messier? Are the chores not done? Have you not been folding clothes after doing laundry? Yes. For most of us all of this is happening and these are minor inconveninces. There are a lot of benefits of staying at home too - kids being able to sleep in duing the week, No commute, Being with family, leisurely pace of school work, no running from one EC to another...these are all benefits that evens out the drawbacks.

Wait what? Are you saying that if you’re having a hard time now that means your family was already dysfunctional or you were a checked out parent? That’s ludicrous.

DP here. Yes, I think parents who were super hands off/checked out before or outsourced at ton of things are struggling more now. I am SAHM whose husband works a regular 40 hour/week job. We didn't outsource cleaning or have childcare beyond an occasional date night. This hasn't really been that much of an adjustment for us other than everyone missing friends, which is a little better now that we are seeing people outdoors.

I have a different take. I think the parents who were very controlling before, such that their kids didn't have unapproved interactions and who already limited playdates, no exposure to babysitters, no group camps, etc., are not struggling. This is their dream, in fact -- they can isolate and control their kids even more.

This is sooooo spot on! Now the controlling parents are even more emboldened than they were before, and now they can judge everyone else. It really is about control. I sense a lot of anxious kids in our future.

No sweetie, good parents probably avoided letting their kids play with yours because they can spot negligent parents and poorly bought up children. Functional families have a way to make things work. If you have not lost your job and are in good health, then this pandemic is nothing that cannot be endured with grace. People are freaking out because they have to feed the kids or keep the house clean or educate them, even though they are working from home and can take out time to post on DCUM. It is lack of planning and organization that has made these parents into failures. Many parents are lacking in adulting skills like cooking, cleaning, teaching elementary school kids or even knowing how to parent. Many parents are drinking, being neglectful and being unhappy because they want someone else to be with their children.

They are having a MENTAL MELTDOWN. Well, there is probably going to be another 18 months of this stuff.

Imagine having a 40+ hour a week job on top of whatever it is you do. This is why I say, SAHMs should probably step back and let the grownups talk about grownup topics.

Then quit, take a leave of absence, or find childcare.
It’s hardly the fault of some SAHM that you can’t manage your life.

I have childcare (a nanny). I am living my best life right now. But I know many people whose kids were in daycare, and it’s tough to interview or trust a new nanny right now. Or some people have SN school-age kids and it’s hard to manage them while working. Anyone with two brain cells can understand that there are tough situations that don’t arise out of dysfunctional families. Anyone who doesn’t (like this SAHM) should probably stop participating in discussions above their level of understanding.

I’m not the above SAHM poster. I work part time without childcare. Working full time while providing full time care to a special needs child is insane. And the reasons that SAHMs get slammed (can’t hack it at work, don’t need any mental stimulation, etc) all imply that this is something anyone can do, but most people choose not to.

So, either admit that you cannot be a SAHM, and the reason you are working is because you have put yourself in a situation where you need the money, or realize that every day this is a choice you make and stop complaining about it.

You think people should make fundamental life change to deal with the momentary challenges of a temporary crisis? That’s, um, stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will do what's best for the overall health and safety of my family. If that means we continue to shelter-in-place, then so be it. My kids go outside and play every day. They sometimes play at a distance with other kids. My older kid connects with friends online. I took my kids to the park on Monday, but we kept our distance from other people. This isn't an all or nothing situation, and it never really was. You just have to be mindful, careful, and minimize people contact at this junction. It won't last forever. Yes, its very, very challenging teleworking, being tech support, teaching kids, and trying to make sure assignments are turned in, particularly when teachers are vague, but it is what is for now. I haven't been 100% successful and I dare anyone at work or school to complain about it. I am doing my best.

+ 1

I thinnk people who are having mental breakdowns are the ones who were not very involved parents even before COVID. I think the pandemic has made it clear how dysfunctional many families were. That is the reason child abuse and domestic violence has increased to. Earlier people could escape outside the home. Now we are at home and if it is not a haven then everything falls apart.

It is not an all or nothing situation. People are being creative and kids are also playing outside, studying and connecting with friends online. Is your house is a bit messier? Are the chores not done? Have you not been folding clothes after doing laundry? Yes. For most of us all of this is happening and these are minor inconveninces. There are a lot of benefits of staying at home too - kids being able to sleep in duing the week, No commute, Being with family, leisurely pace of school work, no running from one EC to another...these are all benefits that evens out the drawbacks.

Wait what? Are you saying that if you’re having a hard time now that means your family was already dysfunctional or you were a checked out parent? That’s ludicrous.

+1 Completely ridiculous. Also, in my circle of friends, it's the stay at home moms who are having the hardest time with this, for whatever reason. The working moms are figuring it out. Not that it's easy for anyone, but the stay at home moms are the ones doing most of the complaining and are the first to give up.