Mixed collar dating- need relationship advice please!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And I would learn to get comfortable being alone. It may then improve your judgment and make you less hungry for male companionship and a serious relationship.

While I don’t think op necessarily needs to work full time, I think doing something work wise will help her get a sense of independence, make connections, etc. She isn’t a SAHM who used to have a job, she’s a SAHM who never worked a day in her life—literally went straight from her parents supporting her to her ex supporting her.

Even though she didn't have a kid until she was in her 40's...

[Anonymous]

No, "getting along and having a great time" is not enough to make it long term at the second half of life...It's great for a few good years and dating. You were married, you know how it is, come on...There is money to make and manage, aging, potential for serious illness, step parent dynamics, losses, each of your parents dying, etc. The phenomenal sex over the next decades will morph into good sex (if you are lucky.) Marriage is a hard gig. You both had failed marriages. Surely, you cannot be this naive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And I would learn to get comfortable being alone. It may then improve your judgment and make you less hungry for male companionship and a serious relationship.

While I don’t think op necessarily needs to work full time, I think doing something work wise will help her get a sense of independence, make connections, etc. She isn’t a SAHM who used to have a job, she’s a SAHM who never worked a day in her life—literally went straight from her parents supporting her to her ex supporting her.

Even though she didn't have a kid until she was in her 40's...

I don't get this either. How could you "always" have been a SAHM at this age with a very young child?

[Anonymous]

On the plus side, the older I get the more I'd like to have a man who is handy and can fix things around the house.

The college degreed guys can't: fix irrigation heads, fix cars,
paint, fix plumbing, do carpentry etc.

[Anonymous]

The financial thing is a huge red flag, a red flag in that it won’t work out long term. People don’t change — he asked you to deal with his finances instead of figuring it out himself.

[Anonymous]

Date awhile longer. Go camping once it is allowed as your son would surely like it. Do not let him move him.

I'd encourage him to close his existing accounts and transfer his funds to a new bank.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On the plus side, the older I get the more I'd like to have a man who is handy and can fix things around the house.

The college degreed guys can't: fix irrigation heads, fix cars,
paint, fix plumbing, do carpentry etc.

Not if you find an engineer. I can build you a car with a file and block of metal.

[Anonymous]

OP, my biggest concern would be finances and other logistics. It sounds like he's living paycheck-to-paycheck and despite making decent money, he likes to spend it as soon as he gets it. Considering your plans to remain a SAHM, do you really want to rely on a man with poor financial management skills who is also supporting an ex-wife and kids?

My answer depends on a couple of questions:

1) How much spousal and child support will you be getting from your ex, and how long-term?
2) Are you willing to live where he does, far outside the beltway? And how would that work with your shared custody situation?

[Anonymous]

You sound like the type that would always correct his grammar in public, OP, and put down his educational background.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is not going to work because it's been only 9 months and you already don't have hope and true excitement about this man's personality.

But the biggest problem going forward is that there isn't an objective view of your own position socially and on the dating market. You have to be real and think: why would a high status man, a democrat with a lot of money and single, want to be with a middle aged SAHM with a small child? There is a very few left in your age group that are not married and chances are they want someone else.

If your priority is to be taken care of you'll have to accept who ever wants to do exactly that, so your options will be limited, and quite possible these men will have some other limitations.

This man can be trained to use his accounts better, but you should never make him feel small or uneducated.

This. Unless OP is absolutely turn-heads gorgeous in her 40s. After my divorce I dated a woman like this and she ended it because someone who I can admit is objectively a better catch came along.

[Anonymous]

OP don't you at least want to TRY to get a job and establish a career? The fact that you're not planning to work just boggles the mind. Wouldn't it be really nice to be able to support yourself, have your own health insurance, retirement funds, etc.? What are you going to do once your kid is in school full-time, just hang out?

Will your alimony and child support money be enough to support you and your child and all of your expenses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP don't you at least want to TRY to get a job and establish a career? The fact that you're not planning to work just boggles the mind. Wouldn't it be really nice to be able to support yourself, have your own health insurance, retirement funds, etc.? What are you going to do once your kid is in school full-time, just hang out?

Will your alimony and child support money be enough to support you and your child and all of your expenses?

Don't forget that you will need to secure health insurance for yourself, which will be very expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes this post is too long.

I don’t see this lasting... he’s probably really into you, which feels damn good after an unfulfilling marriage... but after that wears off, you don’t have anything in common.

It’s ok to be single.

Let me help you. She's a stuck up liberal snob with a useless college degree and no career of her own dating a fairly successful blue collar guy who loves the outdoors and his Harley while she likes.. Wine. Oh and he just can't compete at all with her ex who kept her very comfortable. Can this relationship work?

[Anonymous]

It will NEVER work.

[Anonymous]

What is your plan to support yourself after the divorce? If the plan is to remarry and be supported by new husband this won't work. Doesn't alimony stop if you get remarried?