Why vacation without the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not opposed to people who want to go away on one-on-one vacations - works great for them. I don’t think they are selfish, don’t love their children, have weak marriages (!) or any of the other things we have heard on this thread.

For us, family vacations are a big part of our life and the kids really enjoy it. I know it was hard when they were under 5, but I do think it’s the practice that has made them great traveling companions. They are early teens now and plan with us where we want to go - Africa this summer. Machu Pichu is calling our name. Now that we are past that all consuming early stage, I know that childhood is short and I would at this point not give up any vacation time with my kids. I also believe that in the early years, we needed to take them (child friendly) places so they learned how we wanted to operate as a family. My husband was around before kids and we’ll be together when the kids flown the coop. Maybe it’s the wrong choice but it feels good to me.

Family vacations are important to me too. So are trips with my spouse. We do both. Went to Tibet with my spouse and Europe twice with the kids this year. I think they are doing fine.

As for “child friendly” - does that mean Disney?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents used to leave me once a year with my grandparents while they when in vacation. I dreaded it weeks before it was to happen every year. I was a good kid. I don't know why they couldn't take me. I used to wonder that. None of my friends parents did that. I hated it. I just wanted to be with my parents who both already worked FT.

Meanwhile, I went for 2 weeks to my grandparents every summer and I loved every second of it. I never once wondered why my parents didn't take me with them.

Yeah - I suggested last year that my daughter not spend the week with my parents she traditionally has, and was met with a full-on revolt from all parties involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not opposed to people who want to go away on one-on-one vacations - works great for them. I don’t think they are selfish, don’t love their children, have weak marriages (!) or any of the other things we have heard on this thread.

For us, family vacations are a big part of our life and the kids really enjoy it. I know it was hard when they were under 5, but I do think it’s the practice that has made them great traveling companions. They are early teens now and plan with us where we want to go - Africa this summer. Machu Pichu is calling our name. Now that we are past that all consuming early stage, I know that childhood is short and I would at this point not give up any vacation time with my kids. I also believe that in the early years, we needed to take them (child friendly) places so they learned how we wanted to operate as a family. My husband was around before kids and we’ll be together when the kids flown the coop. Maybe it’s the wrong choice but it feels good to me.

But here's the thing-- it doesn't have to be a "choice," you can do both. You can travel with your family and also do separate vacations. We have traveled extensively, both domestically and internationally, with our kids. But we've also traveled without them. And while yes, vacation time with family is precious, so is time with grandparents. My kids spent 2 weeks with my mom every summer and she died unexpectedly this year. I am SO glad my kids had that special time with her. I realize not everyone has a grandparent option, but for those who do, it is a wonderful gift to children and gives parents the opportunity to do more adult-focused travel (Sonoma, NYC, etc.)

For us, given limited vacation time, it is a choice. And I am ok with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not opposed to people who want to go away on one-on-one vacations - works great for them. I don’t think they are selfish, don’t love their children, have weak marriages (!) or any of the other things we have heard on this thread.

For us, family vacations are a big part of our life and the kids really enjoy it. I know it was hard when they were under 5, but I do think it’s the practice that has made them great traveling companions. They are early teens now and plan with us where we want to go - Africa this summer. Machu Pichu is calling our name. Now that we are past that all consuming early stage, I know that childhood is short and I would at this point not give up any vacation time with my kids. I also believe that in the early years, we needed to take them (child friendly) places so they learned how we wanted to operate as a family. My husband was around before kids and we’ll be together when the kids flown the coop. Maybe it’s the wrong choice but it feels good to me.

Family vacations are important to me too. So are trips with my spouse. We do both. Went to Tibet with my spouse and Europe twice with the kids this year. I think they are doing fine.

As for “child friendly” - does that mean Disney?

No, we went to places we wanted to go (although we did do Disney once). It means keeping on their schedule, planning around naps, the normal stuff you do when you are out with your kid. Effectively it meant in the first several year that if it wasn't do-able for our kids, we didn't go there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents used to leave me once a year with my grandparents while they when in vacation. I dreaded it weeks before it was to happen every year. I was a good kid. I don't know why they couldn't take me. I used to wonder that. None of my friends parents did that. I hated it. I just wanted to be with my parents who both already worked FT.

Meanwhile, I went for 2 weeks to my grandparents every summer and I loved every second of it. I never once wondered why my parents didn't take me with them.

Yeah - I suggested last year that my daughter not spend the week with my parents she traditionally has, and was met with a full-on revolt from all parties involved.

I send my kids to their grandparents in the summer but not when we are taking off time for vacations. Maybe that's the difference? Both my husband and I work and vacation time (for the adults) is limited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s fine for a stay at home parent and spouse to take vacations without the kids, but when both parents are working full time I think it’s a little selfish. I mean, you spend so little time with your kids as it is, and then you go on vacation without them? Kind of makes me wonder why you bothered having kids in the first place.

Can we stop with this crap already? There is one and only one reason to have kids - propagation of the species. It’s simple biology.

If you need to tie your self worth to being a martyr for your kids, that’s on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:because a strong marriage is the key to a strong, happy family.

This. I think it’s awful when a couple can’t deal with alone time without the kid(s).

End thread.

[Anonymous]

Once we had kids it was 15-20 years before we did our first adults only vacation - one week to British Columbia. We had a truly wonderful time even though I missed our kids. They had a great time as the sitter spoiled them. Everyone was happy but our most memorable trips were our family trips.

[Anonymous]

We got back late last night from a beach vacation. The kids had a blast. I'm exhausted and chugging coffee. If someone offered the take the kids for even one night, I'd jump with joy. We all need a little break from time to time, and I haven't had one in 5 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once we had kids it was 15-20 years before we did our first adults only vacation - one week to British Columbia. We had a truly wonderful time even though I missed our kids. They had a great time as the sitter spoiled them. Everyone was happy but our most memorable trips were our family trips.

Why is BC an adults only trip? We normally do exotic or expensive vacations as adults. If you're going somewhere easy like BC, why wouldn't you take the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once we had kids it was 15-20 years before we did our first adults only vacation - one week to British Columbia. We had a truly wonderful time even though I missed our kids. They had a great time as the sitter spoiled them. Everyone was happy but our most memorable trips were our family trips.

Why is BC an adults only trip? We normally do exotic or expensive vacations as adults. If you're going somewhere easy like BC, why wouldn't you take the kids?

NP. B/c everyone is different, alright? We all have our own preferences. Just b/c you like exotic or expensive vacations as adults, doesn't mean everyone else must do the same or can afford to.

[Anonymous]

"why vacation without the kids?" said no parent of multiple kids... ever

[Anonymous]

Parents are people. Children should know and understand that. Some of the best times of my childhood was spending time with my grandparents and cousins. Also sleep away camp, which I did from 5 to 15. My parents didn't abandon me or hate me, in fact, as a tween I wished my mother was less helicopter-y, she was there ALL OF THE TIME, and taking time away to enjoy themselves was good for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Vacations are in way perfect for spending more time and connecting with your family, so why many people vacation without their kids? I am not trying to be judging, I want to understand what the thought process.

Is this a real question?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once we had kids it was 15-20 years before we did our first adults only vacation - one week to British Columbia. We had a truly wonderful time even though I missed our kids. They had a great time as the sitter spoiled them. Everyone was happy but our most memorable trips were our family trips.

Why is BC an adults only trip? We normally do exotic or expensive vacations as adults. If you're going somewhere easy like BC, why wouldn't you take the kids?

NP. B/c everyone is different, alright? We all have our own preferences. Just b/c you like exotic or expensive vacations as adults, doesn't mean everyone else must do the same or can afford to.

NP . We are doing an adults only trip to BC/Alberta this year and staying at a hotel only accessible by helicopter. Though I am sure my kids would love it, no way am I paying for 4 of us...we wanted something unique and memorable for a milestone anniversary.