Why vacation without the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are nutty. Under their logic, if my husband and I take our kids on vacation but not our extended family we don't love them and people should feel sad. You can love people and not take them on every vacation. I need people to get a life!

I didn't say anything about love. I said we enjoy being with our kids and that they add to our trips rather than subtract. I'll give you an example. We're going to Belize in February. We're going to be ziplining, snorkeling, horseback riding, tubing, exploring caves, and going to Guatemala to see Tikkal. We could have left our kids but when I thought about whether I want my kids to have an opportunity to see Belize, I realized we have to bring them. We most likely won't get back there before they go to college. Plus those are all activities that they'd enjoy too so we're bringing them. We're going to Turks and Caicos in April and probably Scotland in the summer (I'm the OP of the SF, Vancouver, or Scotland thread).

We're doing kid friendly stuff that we'd like to do now and saving the more adventurous (and more expensive things) like Peru or an African safari for when they're in high school.

3 international vacations a year for 5 people is expensive. I’m guessing it’s got to be over 30k? Some people don’t have that for non necessities.

[Anonymous]

There is one extremely lame troll here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are nutty. Under their logic, if my husband and I take our kids on vacation but not our extended family we don't love them and people should feel sad. You can love people and not take them on every vacation. I need people to get a life!

I didn't say anything about love. I said we enjoy being with our kids and that they add to our trips rather than subtract. I'll give you an example. We're going to Belize in February. We're going to be ziplining, snorkeling, horseback riding, tubing, exploring caves, and going to Guatemala to see Tikkal. We could have left our kids but when I thought about whether I want my kids to have an opportunity to see Belize, I realized we have to bring them. We most likely won't get back there before they go to college. Plus those are all activities that they'd enjoy too so we're bringing them. We're going to Turks and Caicos in April and probably Scotland in the summer (I'm the OP of the SF, Vancouver, or Scotland thread).

We're doing kid friendly stuff that we'd like to do now and saving the more adventurous (and more expensive things) like Peru or an African safari for when they're in high school.

3 international vacations a year for 5 people is expensive. I’m guessing it’s got to be over 30k? Some people don’t have that for non necessities.

Sorry not sorry?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:We enjoy our kids so we bring them. But it makes it much more expensive. We have 3.

And we typically have to d Airbnb over a luxe hotel.

NEWSFLASH.

Those of us that do trips without our kids ALSO enjoy our kids. Good lord people. Why is it so hard to comprehend that you can adore your children and still value time away from them???

I don’t want time away from them. I get plenty of it as it is. We like to bring them along to experience new things together.

Many of our happiest family memories are of vacations.

We have a great marriage, regular sex at home and on vacation (this is partly why we do Airbnb over hotel suites) and don’t feel the need to leave our kids at home. We could if we wanted to, both sets of grandparents have offered, but we just don’t want to.

We travel 4 times a year plus a few long weekends and ski trips.

+1

Our kids are like our little buddies. We would be sad without them. We just really like being with them, I don’t know how else to explain it (I mean, we did raise them so it makes sense that we e turned them into people we enjoy spending time with).

Great. Congrats on being superior people to the rest of us, I guess. So happy for you!

I don’t think we are superior but you or pp kept pressing like, how can this be??? Like it’s unheard of for parents to genuinely enjoy their own children.

People who vacation without their kids do not NOT enjoy their kids. They just also like adult time. I'm a wholly formed person outside of my children. Thanks! I do girl trips without my husband too. GASP! I must not like him!! (eye roll)

See you're pressing the point even now! I'll tell you how the conversation always goes in our home. My in laws offer to watch our kids. Dh and I start talking about where we'd want to go. Then one of us always says, "but wouldn't it be nice for the kids to see London, Croatia, Positano, Santorini, Costa Rica, Machu Picchu too" and then we end up bringing them along.

Fwiw, no one was offering to watch our kids when they were really little and we would have left them (babies and toddlers). Now that they're older, they're honestly fun to bring along. They add to the overall enjoyment rather than detract. We have limited vacation time and I want them to see as much of the world as they can before college.

Me again. Like I said in my first post, the only problem with bringing them is that it's obviously much more expensive to travel with 5 people than 2. But we prioritize travel in our budget and try to cut costs elsewhere.

Thank you! This is how it SHOULD be done. Period. Don’t have kids if you can’t take care of them.

Holy crap in what world is not taking your kids with you on multiple trips (international, no less) per year considered not taking care of them?!?

This may be the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read on DCUM, and that’s saying a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We enjoy our kids so we bring them. But it makes it much more expensive. We have 3.

And we typically have to d Airbnb over a luxe hotel.

NEWSFLASH.

Those of us that do trips without our kids ALSO enjoy our kids. Good lord people. Why is it so hard to comprehend that you can adore your children and still value time away from them???

I don’t want time away from them. I get plenty of it as it is. We like to bring them along to experience new things together.

Many of our happiest family memories are of vacations.

We have a great marriage, regular sex at home and on vacation (this is partly why we do Airbnb over hotel suites) and don’t feel the need to leave our kids at home. We could if we wanted to, both sets of grandparents have offered, but we just don’t want to.

We travel 4 times a year plus a few long weekends and ski trips.

+1

Our kids are like our little buddies. We would be sad without them. We just really like being with them, I don’t know how else to explain it (I mean, we did raise them so it makes sense that we e turned them into people we enjoy spending time with).

Great. Congrats on being superior people to the rest of us, I guess. So happy for you!

I don’t think we are superior but you or pp kept pressing like, how can this be??? Like it’s unheard of for parents to genuinely enjoy their own children.

People who vacation without their kids do not NOT enjoy their kids. They just also like adult time. I'm a wholly formed person outside of my children. Thanks! I do girl trips without my husband too. GASP! I must not like him!! (eye roll)

See you're pressing the point even now! I'll tell you how the conversation always goes in our home. My in laws offer to watch our kids. Dh and I start talking about where we'd want to go. Then one of us always says, "but wouldn't it be nice for the kids to see London, Croatia, Positano, Santorini, Costa Rica, Machu Picchu too" and then we end up bringing them along.

Fwiw, no one was offering to watch our kids when they were really little and we would have left them (babies and toddlers). Now that they're older, they're honestly fun to bring along. They add to the overall enjoyment rather than detract. We have limited vacation time and I want them to see as much of the world as they can before college.

Me again. Like I said in my first post, the only problem with bringing them is that it's obviously much more expensive to travel with 5 people than 2. But we prioritize travel in our budget and try to cut costs elsewhere.

Thank you! This is how it SHOULD be done. Period. Don’t have kids if you can’t take care of them.

Holy crap in what world is not taking your kids with you on multiple trips (international, no less) per year considered not taking care of them?!?

This may be the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read on DCUM, and that’s saying a lot.

+1

We do most trips as a couple and if we enjoy the place, go back with the kids. For example, we did Morocco last summer and loved it. When my youngest turns 10 in two years, we will take the kids. In the meantime, we will do Amsterdam and Cayman Islands this summer with them and Bali as a couple (if we like it we may take the kids to Bali one day). I enjoy my couples only vacations and my family ones.

[Anonymous]

Because everything is about them and I need a break. Twice a year or so I leave dc and husband (not dear) home and take a weekend to myself to do what I want when I want. They may only call me if there’s a serious emergency.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:"why vacation without the kids?" said no parent of multiple kids... ever

+1.
I spend 51 weeks per year with my kids. It's ok if I want to spend 1 week per year without them.

But how many weeks vacation do you get?
The question is why are you okay with spending 1/2 1/3 or 1/4 of your vacation time away from your kids?

I get 3 weeks of vacation.

I'm ok with it because I enjoy time alone with my husband and my children have fun at their grandparents.

So your give up 33% of your vacation time for travel without the kids. You truly suck.

I do. Maybe you would like to adopt my poor, abused children with the sucky mother.

Nope, they probably have damage from the neglectful parenting. Don't want them.

Do you think the state would take them?

[Anonymous]

I’m a SAHM and my Dh works intense hours. Our kids are upper elementary now, but when they were little, I desperately needed a break every now and then from the demands of being the sole caregiver 5 days a week and the main caregiver on weekends. One of our children has special needs and had not yet been diagnosed with Autism. I felt like I needed to feel like a wife once in a while instead of feeling like a mom 24/7. Dh, however, didn’t even want to have date nights, let alone child free vacations, because he wanted to spend every minute he could at home and with the kids — not feeding them or bathing them or putting them to bed, just being there to play with them a few times a day on the weekends and peek at them sleeping at night. This was a source of tension in our marriage. We are now like two roommates with very little in common. Last weekend I flew to another city and left him at home with the kids because, after 11 years of parenting, I just wanted 3 days of not having to take care of anyone.

I’m in favor of whatever people need to do to be happy and have a harmonious household. Every family should do what works for them without judging others for making different choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"why vacation without the kids?" said no parent of multiple kids... ever

+1.
I spend 51 weeks per year with my kids. It's ok if I want to spend 1 week per year without them.

But how many weeks vacation do you get?
The question is why are you okay with spending 1/2 1/3 or 1/4 of your vacation time away from your kids?

I get 3 weeks of vacation.

I'm ok with it because I enjoy time alone with my husband and my children have fun at their grandparents.

So your give up 33% of your vacation time for travel without the kids. You truly suck.

I do. Maybe you would like to adopt my poor, abused children with the sucky mother.

Nope, they probably have damage from the neglectful parenting. Don't want them.

Do you think the state would take them?

I’ll take ‘em. My kids are getting DUMPED OFF at my moms beach house for most of August (because clearly I don’t love them - what other explanation is there?!?). You can have a break from your sucky parenting - let them enjoy my brand of mediocre for a bit. It’s a win win for everyone!

[Anonymous]

This is entirely ridiculous. Sucky parenting is being the kind of person who judges other families for doing things differently than you, and raising your next generation to do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Vacations are in way perfect for spending more time and connecting with your family, so why many people vacation without their kids? I am not trying to be judging, I want to understand what the thought process.

OP, I've had the same thoughts as you. But I think it's probably because they have more money/vacations than we do. Vacations are a splurge for my family and I like to view them as an opportunity to broaden my kid's horizons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are nutty. Under their logic, if my husband and I take our kids on vacation but not our extended family we don't love them and people should feel sad. You can love people and not take them on every vacation. I need people to get a life!

I didn't say anything about love. I said we enjoy being with our kids and that they add to our trips rather than subtract. I'll give you an example. We're going to Belize in February. We're going to be ziplining, snorkeling, horseback riding, tubing, exploring caves, and going to Guatemala to see Tikkal. We could have left our kids but when I thought about whether I want my kids to have an opportunity to see Belize, I realized we have to bring them. We most likely won't get back there before they go to college. Plus those are all activities that they'd enjoy too so we're bringing them. We're going to Turks and Caicos in April and probably Scotland in the summer (I'm the OP of the SF, Vancouver, or Scotland thread).

We're doing kid friendly stuff that we'd like to do now and saving the more adventurous (and more expensive things) like Peru or an African safari for when they're in high school.

3 international vacations a year for 5 people is expensive. I’m guessing it’s got to be over 30k? Some people don’t have that for non necessities.

Sorry not sorry?

No one asked you to be sorry. Just to be cognizant that a lot of people can’t afford 5 plane tickets multiple times a year, but that doesn’t mean they should only go to the Ozarks on vacation. It’s fine for parents to go away by themselves sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Am I The only person who, as a kid and teen, didn’t want my parents up my butt 24/7? Is this poster serious when they say it’s cruel to leave them for a week? Dang, I LOVED having a week or weekend at my grandparents’ without my parents around. Don’t get me wrong, they were loving and caring but even as a kid I wanted space and time apart too. Don’t kid yourself that your kids want you all over them 24/7 until they marry off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To avoid parenting.

I happily and shamelessly avoid parenting 2 weeks a year.

Headed off in 2 weeks without kids for a wonderful 10 days in Alaska.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a SAHM and my Dh works intense hours. Our kids are upper elementary now, but when they were little, I desperately needed a break every now and then from the demands of being the sole caregiver 5 days a week and the main caregiver on weekends. One of our children has special needs and had not yet been diagnosed with Autism. I felt like I needed to feel like a wife once in a while instead of feeling like a mom 24/7. Dh, however, didn’t even want to have date nights, let alone child free vacations, because he wanted to spend every minute he could at home and with the kids — not feeding them or bathing them or putting them to bed, just being there to play with them a few times a day on the weekends and peek at them sleeping at night. This was a source of tension in our marriage. We are now like two roommates with very little in common. Last weekend I flew to another city and left him at home with the kids because, after 11 years of parenting, I just wanted 3 days of not having to take care of anyone.

I’m in favor of whatever people need to do to be happy and have a harmonious household. Every family should do what works for them without judging others for making different choices.

Don't explain yourself. I'm a working mom, I only work 40hrd a week as does my DH. My DH is also a true partner in raising out children and taking care of the home. That doesn't stop me from traveling 2 weeks each year, alone with DH. My kids are also healthy and easy. I love traveling without my kids and reconnecting. They get 3 weeks vacation with us. That's enough.