As long as teens are studious, is there any harm in giving them a nice car?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted before, yes there is harm. Kids can't drive! I am now paying over 3K extra in insurance since dd totaled her brand new mid size suv. Had to deal with insurance for months, she had a concussion, still had side effects from it. I almost break out in hives from stress when she tells me she is driving to busier areas in the DMV! (She is not allowed to DC) I honestly believe(but dh thought different for his baby girl!) that you should drive a reliable car that you don't care about till 22 at least. On top of it, if your kid is off to college with the car, you have to worry about all the other idiot kids in college who are texting and driving and just have no awareness of traffic for years.(that is how DS's car ended up in a shop for a month, rear ended like nuts!) I go to DS's college town for games, and last time I saw a horrific head on collision between an SUV and a truck, clearly 4 girls in the suv were at fault, and all safe(thanks gosh) but cackling like morons,"omg, don't know how that happened!" Happened because you are turning left and not avoiding incoming traffic! DD's best friend had 2 accidents in first 2 months! Hit the car in the parking lot that was parked! Got hit another time. Ever other day on the way to DD's school, there is an accident, usually bunch of boys or girls in a car. And this is not in DC, we are talking MD suburbs! So, if for nothing else buy a smaller one, so your kids can pay some more attention instead of being unaware douche bags. You know that awareness of knowing where all the cars around you are at all times? Yeah, they don't have that, none of us had that for years at first. This is an honest confession of a BTDT mom, who bought 3!!! cars in the last 8 months and had 3 cars in shops and 1 totaled. Don't be me!(sorry, just a rant from a frustrated mom)

Just because you give a kid a car doesn't mean you don't monitor it and restrict where it goes. Kids should not be having a car early on in college. Sounds partially like a parenting issue.

[Anonymous]

https://cars.usnews.com/cars-trucks/the-5-most-dangerous-cars-for-teens

https://www.google.com/amp/s/jalopnik.com/why-a-jeep-wrangler-isnt-a-good-first-car-for-your-teen-1826758105/amp


Jeeps are NOT good first cars. I know this is tangential, but I do not understand why parents give these cars to new drivers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted before, yes there is harm. Kids can't drive! I am now paying over 3K extra in insurance since dd totaled her brand new mid size suv. Had to deal with insurance for months, she had a concussion, still had side effects from it. I almost break out in hives from stress when she tells me she is driving to busier areas in the DMV! (She is not allowed to DC) I honestly believe(but dh thought different for his baby girl!) that you should drive a reliable car that you don't care about till 22 at least. On top of it, if your kid is off to college with the car, you have to worry about all the other idiot kids in college who are texting and driving and just have no awareness of traffic for years.(that is how DS's car ended up in a shop for a month, rear ended like nuts!) I go to DS's college town for games, and last time I saw a horrific head on collision between an SUV and a truck, clearly 4 girls in the suv were at fault, and all safe(thanks gosh) but cackling like morons,"omg, don't know how that happened!" Happened because you are turning left and not avoiding incoming traffic! DD's best friend had 2 accidents in first 2 months! Hit the car in the parking lot that was parked! Got hit another time. Ever other day on the way to DD's school, there is an accident, usually bunch of boys or girls in a car. And this is not in DC, we are talking MD suburbs! So, if for nothing else buy a smaller one, so your kids can pay some more attention instead of being unaware douche bags. You know that awareness of knowing where all the cars around you are at all times? Yeah, they don't have that, none of us had that for years at first. This is an honest confession of a BTDT mom, who bought 3!!! cars in the last 8 months and had 3 cars in shops and 1 totaled. Don't be me!(sorry, just a rant from a frustrated mom)

Just because you give a kid a car doesn't mean you don't monitor it and restrict where it goes. Kids should not be having a car early on in college. Sounds partially like a parenting issue.

Whatever. She smashed the car 20 minutes away from us, I bet you you don't have teens. I am sure all the parents of all the teen I see in accidents on the way to school are also to blame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Nothing obscenely expensive, just nice and safe. Oldest daughter got a new Jeep Wrangler, son wanted my husband's 2017 Tahoe (which we bought new, then husband upgraded to a 2019), and 15 year old daughter really wants the cute little Volvo SUV.

My DH and HS senior DS share a 2012 Forester with 60,000 miles on it. It works out fine since DH takes metro or rides his bike to work. He may upgrade before DS is finished with college and maybe DS will get the car then. I don't know, maybe we're just not car people - we have a tendency to just drive them into the ground. We just bought DS a new instrument that cost more than our car.

I'm sure that your kids appreciate that you can afford to spend a quarter of a million dollars on cars and aren't spoiled because of it. Will they keep these cars, or will you get them something nicer when they graduate from college?

Your post is not relevant given you spend more on a fancy instrument than a car. What is the difference? He doesn't need an instrument costing thousands. That would be spoiled too.

I am not that poster but I would disagree with this statement. Music isn't your thing, that it is okay.

+1. If you have a kid headed to a conservatory, they need the sound quality of a more expensive instrument. I’m not a musician, but my kids are, and I am shocked by the differences in sound quality. And some types of instruments are much more expensive than others. My kid started at clarinet and now play bass clarinet and ouch. It’s a life long investment for their profession that should not depreciate if properly cared for.

There is a quailty difference but to they really need it at a young age. No, they don't need it, you or they want it. They can learn to play equally with less expensive equipment. Nothing wrong with buying it for them but its the same thing.

But if we’re talking about 16 year olds, and not 6 year olds, of driving age and on the teen board, then they have been playing several hours a week for 10 years when you make the purchase and the sound difference matters. I agree that buying a $5000 instrument of anyone who is 6 except a music prodigy is ridiculous.

We rented from grades 3-7, bought a very nice but not professional instrument for $1000 when DC upgraded to a more serious teacher and commitment in 8th. Kid is now a junior and looking seriously at colleges with strong music (Oberlin, Rochester, Case Western, St. Olaf) as secondary/ a minor/ serious EC as a part of the orchestra to a primary STEM field in college. He has asked us to bump him up to a professional instrument for college which hits $5000 as his high school graduation gift (although we could likely sell the instrument he has now for close to what we purchased it for to offset the cost). Depending on where he ends up for college and how the finances work out.

Now, my kid does not play a particularly expensive instrument. There are some instruments where you would be getting into new car territory. In 5hid case, I see it as different than a car, because there is a direct correlation. You work hard at something for a decade, through lots of tedious practice and become really good at it, you get to play a nicer instrument. And musicians seem to get a lot of joy out of playing high quality instruments. They know they are lucky to have the nice instrument, because they spent years learning on the $40/ month student rental. A beginner is going to screech either way. We aren’t athletes in my family, but I would use the same rationale to invest money is high quality athletic equipment for a high school varsity player, and even more money for a kid playing at the college level.

My DH played guitar in a garage band and his dad bought him a 15k Gibson. Also a new car to drive to gigs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Nothing obscenely expensive, just nice and safe. Oldest daughter got a new Jeep Wrangler, son wanted my husband's 2017 Tahoe (which we bought new, then husband upgraded to a 2019), and 15 year old daughter really wants the cute little Volvo SUV.

My DH and HS senior DS share a 2012 Forester with 60,000 miles on it. It works out fine since DH takes metro or rides his bike to work. He may upgrade before DS is finished with college and maybe DS will get the car then. I don't know, maybe we're just not car people - we have a tendency to just drive them into the ground. We just bought DS a new instrument that cost more than our car.

I'm sure that your kids appreciate that you can afford to spend a quarter of a million dollars on cars and aren't spoiled because of it. Will they keep these cars, or will you get them something nicer when they graduate from college?

Your post is not relevant given you spend more on a fancy instrument than a car. What is the difference? He doesn't need an instrument costing thousands. That would be spoiled too.

I am not that poster but I would disagree with this statement. Music isn't your thing, that it is okay.

+1. If you have a kid headed to a conservatory, they need the sound quality of a more expensive instrument. I’m not a musician, but my kids are, and I am shocked by the differences in sound quality. And some types of instruments are much more expensive than others. My kid started at clarinet and now play bass clarinet and ouch. It’s a life long investment for their profession that should not depreciate if properly cared for.

There is a quailty difference but to they really need it at a young age. No, they don't need it, you or they want it. They can learn to play equally with less expensive equipment. Nothing wrong with buying it for them but its the same thing.

But if we’re talking about 16 year olds, and not 6 year olds, of driving age and on the teen board, then they have been playing several hours a week for 10 years when you make the purchase and the sound difference matters. I agree that buying a $5000 instrument of anyone who is 6 except a music prodigy is ridiculous.

We rented from grades 3-7, bought a very nice but not professional instrument for $1000 when DC upgraded to a more serious teacher and commitment in 8th. Kid is now a junior and looking seriously at colleges with strong music (Oberlin, Rochester, Case Western, St. Olaf) as secondary/ a minor/ serious EC as a part of the orchestra to a primary STEM field in college. He has asked us to bump him up to a professional instrument for college which hits $5000 as his high school graduation gift (although we could likely sell the instrument he has now for close to what we purchased it for to offset the cost). Depending on where he ends up for college and how the finances work out.

Now, my kid does not play a particularly expensive instrument. There are some instruments where you would be getting into new car territory. In 5hid case, I see it as different than a car, because there is a direct correlation. You work hard at something for a decade, through lots of tedious practice and become really good at it, you get to play a nicer instrument. And musicians seem to get a lot of joy out of playing high quality instruments. They know they are lucky to have the nice instrument, because they spent years learning on the $40/ month student rental. A beginner is going to screech either way. We aren’t athletes in my family, but I would use the same rationale to invest money is high quality athletic equipment for a high school varsity player, and even more money for a kid playing at the college level.

My DH played guitar in a garage band and his dad bought him a 15k Gibson. Also a new car to drive to gigs.

My elementary school child has decent gear as it sound and plays better and I have to listen to it. I don't see the issue with either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted before, yes there is harm. Kids can't drive! I am now paying over 3K extra in insurance since dd totaled her brand new mid size suv. Had to deal with insurance for months, she had a concussion, still had side effects from it. I almost break out in hives from stress when she tells me she is driving to busier areas in the DMV! (She is not allowed to DC) I honestly believe(but dh thought different for his baby girl!) that you should drive a reliable car that you don't care about till 22 at least. On top of it, if your kid is off to college with the car, you have to worry about all the other idiot kids in college who are texting and driving and just have no awareness of traffic for years.(that is how DS's car ended up in a shop for a month, rear ended like nuts!) I go to DS's college town for games, and last time I saw a horrific head on collision between an SUV and a truck, clearly 4 girls in the suv were at fault, and all safe(thanks gosh) but cackling like morons,"omg, don't know how that happened!" Happened because you are turning left and not avoiding incoming traffic! DD's best friend had 2 accidents in first 2 months! Hit the car in the parking lot that was parked! Got hit another time. Ever other day on the way to DD's school, there is an accident, usually bunch of boys or girls in a car. And this is not in DC, we are talking MD suburbs! So, if for nothing else buy a smaller one, so your kids can pay some more attention instead of being unaware douche bags. You know that awareness of knowing where all the cars around you are at all times? Yeah, they don't have that, none of us had that for years at first. This is an honest confession of a BTDT mom, who bought 3!!! cars in the last 8 months and had 3 cars in shops and 1 totaled. Don't be me!(sorry, just a rant from a frustrated mom)

Just because you give a kid a car doesn't mean you don't monitor it and restrict where it goes. Kids should not be having a car early on in college. Sounds partially like a parenting issue.

Whatever. She smashed the car 20 minutes away from us, I bet you you don't have teens. I am sure all the parents of all the teen I see in accidents on the way to school are also to blame.

Yes, I do. You buy 3 cars ... there is something more going on. If the area is not great to drive you can still drive your kid till they get more experience. You bought your kids cars to make ti easier for you (which is fine but they still need to be taught and get experience)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://cars.usnews.com/cars-trucks/the-5-most-dangerous-cars-for-teens

https://www.google.com/amp/s/jalopnik.com/why-a-jeep-wrangler-isnt-a-good-first-car-for-your-teen-1826758105/amp


Jeeps are NOT good first cars. I know this is tangential, but I do not understand why parents give these cars to new drivers.

The sport version is fine.

[Anonymous]

Will you adopt me? Your kids drive way better cars than I can afford.

I wouldn't say this is wrong, but it may set an expectation of luxury that your kids can't afford to maintain on their own. Also, is there a better way to spend some of this money? College fund? Charity? Trust fund?

I got a car for hs, it was a 79 Ford Fiesta. My kid will be lucky to get my 09 Honda Fit in 2 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Nothing obscenely expensive, just nice and safe. Oldest daughter got a new Jeep Wrangler, son wanted my husband's 2017 Tahoe (which we bought new, then husband upgraded to a 2019), and 15 year old daughter really wants the cute little Volvo SUV.

My DH and HS senior DS share a 2012 Forester with 60,000 miles on it. It works out fine since DH takes metro or rides his bike to work. He may upgrade before DS is finished with college and maybe DS will get the car then. I don't know, maybe we're just not car people - we have a tendency to just drive them into the ground. We just bought DS a new instrument that cost more than our car.

I'm sure that your kids appreciate that you can afford to spend a quarter of a million dollars on cars and aren't spoiled because of it. Will they keep these cars, or will you get them something nicer when they graduate from college?

Your post is not relevant given you spend more on a fancy instrument than a car. What is the difference? He doesn't need an instrument costing thousands. That would be spoiled too.

I am not that poster but I would disagree with this statement. Music isn't your thing, that it is okay.

+1. If you have a kid headed to a conservatory, they need the sound quality of a more expensive instrument. I’m not a musician, but my kids are, and I am shocked by the differences in sound quality. And some types of instruments are much more expensive than others. My kid started at clarinet and now play bass clarinet and ouch. It’s a life long investment for their profession that should not depreciate if properly cared for.

Yup, my kid is a violinist. We got lucky on her current violin. For her age, it's a great sound and under $3k. But, if she decides to major in it, the next one will most likely be worth more than the 09 Honda Fit she'll be lucky to get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend whose parents gave her a bmw as her college graduation present. I’m sure that posters here would like to think that she is a spoiled princess with no job but today she is a successful doctor and a great person. I mean I probably wouldn’t give my kid a BMW but different people have different values and that doesn’t make you better than them.

College and 16 are very different. Gifting a car to someone who has worked hard, achieved success and is launching in life seems much more reasonable. Would I give my kid a luxury car at any age? No, but for some that would be an expense that would be a Toyota to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Will you adopt me? Your kids drive way better cars than I can afford.

I wouldn't say this is wrong, but it may set an expectation of luxury that your kids can't afford to maintain on their own. Also, is there a better way to spend some of this money? College fund? Charity? Trust fund?

I got a car for hs, it was a 79 Ford Fiesta. My kid will be lucky to get my 09 Honda Fit in 2 years.

At least you had a car in high school. Most people who buy cars have enough to comfortably do it. Why should they donate their hard earned money to charity vs. spending it on their kid. Most charities barely do anything to help people and its just to provide jobs to staff to pretend they are doing something good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who can afford to buy whatever car for my kids, I think it is a disservice to give your kids everything. I don’t want their life to peak while living with me. A car is an easy thing to kind of cut back on.

Same here. Our motto is "just because we can, doesn't mean we should".

The likelihood my children will make the kind of money we make is slim to none. It's bad enough they have the home, vacations, and luxuries thry have naturally living in our household, don't need to add excess on top of it.

[Anonymous]

My parents gave me the crappiest of cars. As a result none of my friends with nicer cars ever wanted to ride in it. I never had to drive anywhere but to personal activities. It was awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will you adopt me? Your kids drive way better cars than I can afford.

I wouldn't say this is wrong, but it may set an expectation of luxury that your kids can't afford to maintain on their own. Also, is there a better way to spend some of this money? College fund? Charity? Trust fund?

I got a car for hs, it was a 79 Ford Fiesta. My kid will be lucky to get my 09 Honda Fit in 2 years.

At least you had a car in high school. Most people who buy cars have enough to comfortably do it. Why should they donate their hard earned money to charity vs. spending it on their kid. Most charities barely do anything to help people and its just to provide jobs to staff to pretend they are doing something good.

Wow. You really think, "Most charities barely do anything to help people?" What are you dong to help people? Sounds like an excuse to be greedy. Whatever.

Yes, I was lucky to have a car (sr year only, but still).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents gave me the crappiest of cars. As a result none of my friends with nicer cars ever wanted to ride in it. I never had to drive anywhere but to personal activities. It was awesome.

There is something to this. I don't want my kids driving their friends around. Maybe a crappy looking but safe car will fix that issue.