As long as teens are studious, is there any harm in giving them a nice car?

[Anonymous]

Caught a lot of flack, again, from family this weekend for "spoiling" our kids. Our mindset is as long as your children are earning great grades, have great friends, super involved at school, volunteer a bunch, sports, summer jobs, visit grandparents, what's wrong with giving them a nice car? But it seems to trigger a lot of folks.

Nothing obscenely expensive, just nice and safe. Oldest daughter got a new Jeep Wrangler, son wanted my husband's 2017 Tahoe (which we bought new, then husband upgraded to a 2019), and 15 year old daughter really wants the cute little Volvo SUV.

I think it's a good reward studiousness and high-character and it's a neat feeling we've been blessed enough to be able to afford comfortable wheels. I know in high school and college I was always slightly jealous of peers who had a nice car--and it never seemed to correlate with subprime behavior. Is that the worry, that it makes kids jerks or unmotivated?

[Anonymous]

I don't care personally. Your kids are probably fine and also pretty awful and it doesn't matter what they drive.

[Anonymous]

Not for the first year. My DD totaled one new mid size SUV, and someone actually truly hit her car and ran. So, a side door is scratched. My insurance went up after her first accident, and second we are fixing. New smaller sedan. So, second one isn't her fault, a moron driving in Rockville who didn't pay attention or was on the phone or texting(road curves) and went straight into the side of her car. She pulled over and jerk drove off. Called the police to see if they can use cameras to find the perp, they said they can't do it.

[Anonymous]

You do you.

[Anonymous]

I mean you could think of it this way - I'm sure your kids seem nice but they don't have any friends they wouldn't want to know that mom and dad bought them a new jeep wrangler and/or volvo. At least your son had a teeny bit of shame but not enough frankly. So your kids don't have any friends or anyone they want to respect them who isn't also rich.

It's very likely that they'll just stay rich forever, never worry about making it on their own except to eventually stop using your credit card, and this will never affect them.

[Anonymous]

As someone who can afford to buy whatever car for my kids, I think it is a disservice to give your kids everything. I don’t want their life to peak while living with me. A car is an easy thing to kind of cut back on.

[Anonymous]

Is it a car they could realistically afford to buy with whatever salary they are likely to make? It's cruel to give them a nicer car than they will be able to afford on their own. You are setting them up for disappointment, dissatisfaction with what they can do for themselves. A Corolla yes. A BMW, no.

[Anonymous]

Not how I’d spend my money. My kid has a 2014 Subaru Forester with 91,000 miles. Safe, dependable, not a lot of bells and whistles. I wouldn’t want to set my kids baseline expectations too high, because once they finish college and will buy their own cars, they will probably not be in a position to buy top of the line. Especially if they are also saving for a home, etc. plus, I’d rather put the extra money towards saving for college and helping them afford a down payment or get a start in life.

Those are practical approach to money things. I don’t want to teach my kids to value expensive, high end disposable goods at the expense of long term investment. FWIW are affluent, but the money isn’t unlimited and budget is a consideration.

But, there a lot of things parents do that are real problems, like ignoring drinking and drug use and serving kids underage. This is small potatoes. And I don’t think it really hurts your kids the way some other bad parenting calls do. So you do you. We’d make a different choice. But, I’m not judging you negatively.

[Anonymous]

Except the risk of dying in a car crash.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't do it, I think they should buy nice big ticket things with their money when they are employed. They get serviceable and safe on my dime.

[Anonymous]

I think it is a bad idea to give teens expensive cars. You may think your kid is an all-around good kid, but odds are they are spoiled and entitled and will lack an independent work spirit.

[Anonymous]

We bought both of our kids they’re own cars when they got their license. I didn’t care what anyone thought.

[Anonymous]

The issue is safety, as well as value for money.

I would never buy the cars you mention, they’re terrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do you.

When I was growing up, the boy across the street died in a car wreck/ rollover in a Jeep. The traffic here is terrible and new drivers have a lot to deal with. So, no. Not for my kids.

[Anonymous]

Depends-at what point do you expect your kids to earn the things they have? Many people think high school is a good time, and by that standard, they might think you are setting your kids up to expect to have cars (etc) provided for a while.

As for safety: my impression is that SUVs are actually NOT recommended for new drivers because they are relatively easy to roll over.

As for loss: PP is right, and a new car is just a bad idea for new drivers unless you REALLY like throwing money away (in which case--yay--somebody needs to support car manufacturers!).