As long as teens are studious, is there any harm in giving them a nice car?

[Anonymous]

I think about the message it sends to the teachers (and your kids) that they have some of the best cars in the parking lot

[Anonymous]

The perfect girl in my high school drove a brand new BMW convertible. I assume in today’s dollars that would be 45 or 55 thousand dollars? Anyways, she was pretty, a perfect student, social but didn’t really party, really involved at school, went only the state flagship U. Sorority, pre-med, then medical school. Now she’s a pediatrician and married to some successful businessman.

I don’t see how a nice car corrupted her or whatever it’s supposed to do. If your kid is an overachiever, count your freaking blessings and let them drive whatever they want that you can afford. A new Jeep is about the price of a year of Sidwell, and the Jeep is still worth $20K in 4 or 5 years. It’s not that expensive to let your kid have decent wheels.

[Anonymous]

2 tahoes and a jeep is quite a hit to the environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The perfect girl in my high school drove a brand new BMW convertible. I assume in today’s dollars that would be 45 or 55 thousand dollars? Anyways, she was pretty, a perfect student, social but didn’t really party, really involved at school, went only the state flagship U. Sorority, pre-med, then medical school. Now she’s a pediatrician and married to some successful businessman.

I don’t see how a nice car corrupted her or whatever it’s supposed to do. If your kid is an overachiever, count your freaking blessings and let them drive whatever they want that you can afford. A new Jeep is about the price of a year of Sidwell, and the Jeep is still worth $20K in 4 or 5 years. It’s not that expensive to let your kid have decent wheels.

ick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is a bad idea to give teens expensive cars. You may think your kid is an all-around good kid, but odds are they are spoiled and entitled and will lack an independent work spirit.

100% agree. In my opinion, you blew it just like a lot of wealthy parents do. Problem is you already know you shouldn’t have but your simply looking for reassurance from others like yourself. And for the record, I’m just as wealthy as you and our kids drove 8 year old Honda Civics and such. He’s not learning anything by being a spoiled child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised at how judgmental people are about parenting choices. My parents paid for everything pretty much through law school. I don’t really remember what happened to any money I earned. I probably gave it to them if it was a lot — summer law jobs-and otherwise spent it in on whatever they would have bought me anyway. Also true for my brother. This worked because we made sensible choices all along, so our parents didn’t need to come up with different rules. We then both managed our money well once we were earning on our own. You parent the kid you have. My current 16-year seems to be in the same mold. She doesn’t ask for much. Asks if something is too expensive. So she is in fact budgeting for herself, just in a different way than most posters are used to. If she were a different kid, I’d parent her differently. Now, you might say she has a greater chance of going off the rails budget wise than if I adopted a different approach, and that may be true, but that doesn’t mean our way of doing things is bad or outside the range of reasonableness. There may be other aspects of her life where we are stricter than the norm. It all balances out.

Okay but it's not clear that anyone likes you.

This is an interesting response — because now you’ve changed the issue away from whether a kid raised the way I’m saying can still make sensible financial decisions to whether certain people will be jealous of a kid with expensive items. Other posters did that as well when they talked about how a kid with an expensive new car should be “ashamed” to admit it. So maybe people are trying to give advice about how it’s valuable not to be ostentatious for the good of the social order, and that may be true. We’re not wealthy, but do have a lot more money than some of my kids’ friends, and I definitely try to make them sensitive to the issues that can arise around that. But again, that’s a different issue than the one I was writing about.

[Anonymous]

Seems about right for those who are motivated by conspicuous consumption. Kind of like the people who go to Disney World 3x/year.

[Anonymous]

The post reads a bit like you want your kids to be the kids with the cool new cars bc you couldn't be the kid with the cool new car. It seems like you are compensating and living a bit vicariously. I'd check really long and hard to make sure I wasn't doing anything else like that with their lives and make sure I had hobbies and what not for myself. If it's all gravy, then who cares what car you buy them. Don't justify with "good grades" . That's not what earns them the car. Having rich parents gets them the car. Plenty of working class kids doing all the same things to earn that car and don't get one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Retired law firm partner here. When we were raising our kids, they were all well behaved and all got good grades and all stayed out of trouble and didn’t do drugs, etc. And we had plenty of money. But we did not reward our children’s good behavior with new cars. It was behavior that we simply expected from them and they acted accordingly. I think it’s ridiculous indulgent for high school kids to be given a car.

If you can afford it, why not? You cannot take all that money with you and a car will make your life easier in less you don't have them in sports or activities. Reality is you probably had an extra car that they used and it was technically theirs.

Because it teaches your kids that everything they want will be handed to them, for starters. And you're wrong that we had an "extra" car that was technically theirs. We'd lend them the care, sure, for specific things -- when they asked. But they never had a car that was remotely their own. They walked to school (over a mile) all through high school for example.

As for not being able to take all the money with you, that's true, but there are far better things to spend your money on. Cars are a waste of money, dangerous (especially in the case of teenagers), bad for the environment, and a status symbol that kids don't need.

[Anonymous]

Oh lord. OP - I didn’t work in HS and I got a brand new car for my 16th birthday (around 25k). I also graduated first in my class, held leadership positions in multiple clubs, played two sports (captain senior year for one), and gasp had really, good nice friends. My parents also paid for college and grad school.

In college, I had a job freshmen year. After that, I always had a paid internship. At times, I had the internship plus two paying campus jobs (plus a full load).

If your kids have a good work ethic, they will be fine!

[Anonymous]

I don’t want my kids thinking they deserve things they didn’t earn. A new expensive car is not “earned” by good grades. My kids will all have used but safe Japanese sedans. Which is more than I got.

I didn’t know anyone with a fancy car who wasn’t super entitled. Maybe a good student, maybe friendly, but entitled nonetheless.

[Anonymous]

A few weeks ago, an old friend’s wife posted pics of their daughter in her brand new X5 “driving off for college tours.” I don't care if parents buy their kids cars (new or used) — but I do question the thinking of giving a 16yo a new luxury car that is out of reach for many, if not most adults.

So at least OP is nowhere near that level of awful.

[Anonymous]

Jeeps and Tahoes are not safe, FYI.
Aside from the fact that you have done ZERO research with regard to the safest cars for teens, the fact that you can't come up on your own with reasons why giving your teens expensive cars is a bad idea tells me all one needs to know about your values.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you really missed the boat on a good lesson on sensible spending. Given the high accident rate for new drivers and teens’ propensity for scraping along curbs, parking lot lamp posts, etc., we told our kids that we were going to buy them safe but affordable used cars, because it would be a lot less expensive to repair and we were all less likely to get worked up about small dings and scratches on a car that wasn’t pristine to start. It wasn’t a punishment or a criticism of them personally, it was acknowledging the realities of new drivers and not setting them up by spending an absurd amount of money on their first cars. Once they are older with more driving experience, they can make the call themselves on whether they want to buy a more expensive car.

+1

Being studious has nothing to do with being a good driver, and it certainly doesn't mean that a kid deserves an expensive new car. A used car with excellent safety ratings and in good condition is a better option.

Also, I just remember my cousin, whose father bought her a brand-new Jeep Liberty when she turned 16. Which she promptly totaled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is a bad idea to give teens expensive cars. You may think your kid is an all-around good kid, but odds are they are spoiled and entitled and will lack an independent work spirit.

100% agree. In my opinion, you blew it just like a lot of wealthy parents do. Problem is you already know you shouldn’t have but your simply looking for reassurance from others like yourself. And for the record, I’m just as wealthy as you and our kids drove 8 year old Honda Civics and such. He’s not learning anything by being a spoiled child.

+1