Stabbing death outside of St. Raphael’s Church in Potomac, MD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are many families dealing with serious mental illness day-in and day-out. One way to help them is to support your local NAMI chapter.

+1 thank you

PP with mentally ill son. Serious question here. What does NAMI do that makes it worth supporting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing I found the most tragic is that she just beat BC last summer. She must have thought the worst thing was behind her.

Not if the kid has mental health issues. Going through this now with a 12 year old son. It’s constant chaos. I read the story and wondered if someday this will be me.

My kid is a little older but I share the same fear. And not only chaos, but there really isn’t much in the way of help to deal with the situation. My son knows exactly what to say to crisis and doctors so that he doesn’t get admitted. And unless there is actual violence, the police can’t help.

I'm going to offer you some advice. It is OK to abandon a mentally ill child IF it means saving yourself or the rest of the family. I'm sure you love your child, but don't mistake love for total commitment.

Thanks for this perspective. That might be a route we have to take, which as you can imagine is heart breaking. My son is not yet 18 but almost. Right now I am private paying for an inpatient program in hopes of our miracle. But honestly, that isnt an option for many people due to the cost. It isn’t easy for us either but we’re doing the best we can. We’ve also had to resort to the police and peace orders.

If you haven’t figured it out by reading this thread, our mental health system sucks. It’s not poor parenting. It’s not a mom trying to handle it on her own. It’s a lack of resources and affordable care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are many families dealing with serious mental illness day-in and day-out. One way to help them is to support your local NAMI chapter.

+1 thank you

PP with mentally ill son. Serious question here. What does NAMI do that makes it worth supporting?

They have classes that are very helpful to caregivers (I know from volunteer work at my church), but they have other types of classes as well.

https://www.nami.org/Find-Support/NAMI-Programs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP with mentally ill son. Serious question here. What does NAMI do that makes it worth supporting?

For one thing, they run programs like Family-To-Family for family, significant others and friends of people living with mental illness. Besides the benefit of getting educated about resources and legal matters, there's also the benefit of being in a room and participating in discussions with other people to whom your problems actually make sense. I would even say NAMI is the resource for mental illness in the community. Referral to NAMI is sometimes part of the discharge procedure from a behavioral health facility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing I found the most tragic is that she just beat BC last summer. She must have thought the worst thing was behind her.

Not if the kid has mental health issues. Going through this now with a 12 year old son. It’s constant chaos. I read the story and wondered if someday this will be me.

My kid is a little older but I share the same fear. And not only chaos, but there really isn’t much in the way of help to deal with the situation. My son knows exactly what to say to crisis and doctors so that he doesn’t get admitted. And unless there is actual violence, the police can’t help.

I'm going to offer you some advice. It is OK to abandon a mentally ill child IF it means saving yourself or the rest of the family. I'm sure you love your child, but don't mistake love for total commitment.

Actually it isn’t okay. It’s illegal. After that child passed newborn stage and until the age of 18 s/he is your responsibility.

I think we can assume that these posters are talking about children 18 years and older. You know, like all of the boys being discussed in this thread.

.

Considering the pp said they have a 12-year-old and the next op said they have a son ‘a little older’ who the abandon parent was directly responding to that is not in fact a good assumption at all.

[Anonymous]

A clarification for everyone chiming in:

Abandoning a minor child is illegal. Relinquishing custody of a minor child to the state is not illegal.

-NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing I found the most tragic is that she just beat BC last summer. She must have thought the worst thing was behind her.

Not if the kid has mental health issues. Going through this now with a 12 year old son. It’s constant chaos. I read the story and wondered if someday this will be me.

My kid is a little older but I share the same fear. And not only chaos, but there really isn’t much in the way of help to deal with the situation. My son knows exactly what to say to crisis and doctors so that he doesn’t get admitted. And unless there is actual violence, the police can’t help.

I'm going to offer you some advice. It is OK to abandon a mentally ill child IF it means saving yourself or the rest of the family. I'm sure you love your child, but don't mistake love for total commitment.

Thanks for this perspective. That might be a route we have to take, which as you can imagine is heart breaking. My son is not yet 18 but almost. Right now I am private paying for an inpatient program in hopes of our miracle. But honestly, that isnt an option for many people due to the cost. It isn’t easy for us either but we’re doing the best we can. We’ve also had to resort to the police and peace orders.

If you haven’t figured it out by reading this thread, our mental health system sucks. It’s not poor parenting. It’s not a mom trying to handle it on her own. It’s a lack of resources and affordable care.

It does suck.
And honestly he might need a good few years of inpatient to have a chance of improving. If I were you I’d consult a lawyer now - before he is 18 - to possibly have that set up and to hopefully have him become a ward of the state (so they can manage him). Hard, but might save him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A clarification for everyone chiming in:

Abandoning a minor child is illegal. Relinquishing custody of a minor child to the state is not illegal.

-NP

Should be obvious, but apparently it’s not!

[Anonymous]

Is there a mental health lobbying group that could be supported? Because our mental health services are completely inadequate and dropping every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Father with same first and last name comes up on the case search quite a bit. Years of financial trouble leading up to a 2012 divorce. Poor family. What a mess.

Looks like Dad moved to Pennsylvania.
Poor family.

Poor family? For dad moving? Oh please...

Honestly, we don’t know what life was like for Dad before or after the divorce. Having a child with severe mental illness isn’t a walk in the park for anyone.

One parent survived, one did not.

One parent abandoned his mentally ill son, one did not. FTFY, PP.

As for the other PP, you're damn right having a mentally ill child is no walk in the park. That is why you don't move out of state and leave it all to one parent. Apparently the father of the matricidal Sandy Hook shooter didn't get that memo either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Father with same first and last name comes up on the case search quite a bit. Years of financial trouble leading up to a 2012 divorce. Poor family. What a mess.

Looks like Dad moved to Pennsylvania.
Poor family.

Poor family? For dad moving? Oh please...

Honestly, we don’t know what life was like for Dad before or after the divorce. Having a child with severe mental illness isn’t a walk in the park for anyone.

One parent survived, one did not.

One parent abandoned his mentally ill son, one did not. FTFY, PP.

As for the other PP, you're damn right having a mentally ill child is no walk in the park. That is why you don't move out of state and leave it all to one parent. Apparently the father of the matricidal Sandy Hook shooter didn't get that memo either.

Having TWO parents in the home is no guarantee a mentally ill child won’t harm others. Especially once they are adults like Lanza.

Rumor has it that this guy’s dad was out of the picture due to domestic abuse. If so, there’s no sane way that mom would want him to renter their lives. She had two other kids to protect as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there a mental health lobbying group that could be supported? Because our mental health services are completely inadequate and dropping every day.

NAMI does this too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there a mental health lobbying group that could be supported? Because our mental health services are completely inadequate and dropping every day.

NAMI does this too.

Good to know.

[Anonymous]

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/01/02/673765794/to-get-mental-health-help-for-a-child-desperate-parents-relinquish-custody?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=20190102