Disagreement with DH about breast lift

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope he comes around OP, I don't think you're being selfish at all.
Do you have any of your own funds that you can use for this?

OP says he boob job is for her and her husband likes her as is. How is that not being selfish?

Do you think that once a woman gets married and has children she's not allowed to want, much less do, anything for herself? She matters, her feelings matter, how she feels about herself matters. If you do everything to make everyone in your family happy and you want to count yourself in that number too, that's great. If that's being selfish I say more people need to be selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. People can be very judgy about cosmetic surgery and will be quick to criticize you for wanting to improve/enhance your appearance. This is just me but I think to each her own and do what makes you happy. You have every right to feel good about yourself - if looking physically attractive makes you happy THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. Don’t drink the kool aid they are trying to serve on here.
2. I have a slight problem with a boob job or a lift having to be a family decision. I guess I would want my husband’s support and approval BUT how much does it really impact him? Financially yes - unless you have some money of your own outside of the household budget. Do you?
What if your DH wanted to make a large purchase (same $value) that you didn’t approve of? Would you have veto power?
The financial piece is tough but couples don’t always agree on spending. Compromise is often necessary. Beyond the financial aspect I think it is basically your decision.
3. Fake or perky boobs are not attractive?? Again, to each his/her own. Push up bras and breast enhancement surgery are huge industries. (Oops - pun). Sure I guess plenty of guys prefer sagging, drooping and wrinkly little breasts ... Your DH will probably find you just as attractive after a boob lift or a boob job because he loves you.
Maybe he needs some reassurance that you won’t run off with another man once you have nicer boobs.

+1

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope he comes around OP, I don't think you're being selfish at all.
Do you have any of your own funds that you can use for this?

OP says he boob job is for her and her husband likes her as is. How is that not being selfish?

Do you think that once a woman gets married and has children she's not allowed to want, much less do, anything for herself? She matters, her feelings matter, how she feels about herself matters. If you do everything to make everyone in your family happy and you want to count yourself in that number too, that's great. If that's being selfish I say more people need to be selfish.

Getting sliced open and having someone shove plastic into your chest makes you feel good? Eww.

Oh, you realize if you skimp on this, they might do it wrong; you'll look like hell. Better sell a couple cars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope he comes around OP, I don't think you're being selfish at all.
Do you have any of your own funds that you can use for this?

OP says he boob job is for her and her husband likes her as is. How is that not being selfish?

Do you think that once a woman gets married and has children she's not allowed to want, much less do, anything for herself? She matters, her feelings matter, how she feels about herself matters. If you do everything to make everyone in your family happy and you want to count yourself in that number too, that's great. If that's being selfish I say more people need to be selfish.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope he comes around OP, I don't think you're being selfish at all.
Do you have any of your own funds that you can use for this?

OP says he boob job is for her and her husband likes her as is. How is that not being selfish?

Do you think that once a woman gets married and has children she's not allowed to want, much less do, anything for herself? She matters, her feelings matter, how she feels about herself matters. If you do everything to make everyone in your family happy and you want to count yourself in that number too, that's great. If that's being selfish I say more people need to be selfish.

Getting sliced open and having someone shove plastic into your chest makes you feel good? Eww.

Oh, you realize if you skimp on this, they might do it wrong; you'll look like hell. Better sell a couple cars.

FWI, there's no plastic with a breast lift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope he comes around OP, I don't think you're being selfish at all.
Do you have any of your own funds that you can use for this?

OP says he boob job is for her and her husband likes her as is. How is that not being selfish?

Do you think that once a woman gets married and has children she's not allowed to want, much less do, anything for herself? She matters, her feelings matter, how she feels about herself matters. If you do everything to make everyone in your family happy and you want to count yourself in that number too, that's great. If that's being selfish I say more people need to be selfish.

Getting sliced open and having someone shove plastic into your chest makes you feel good? Eww.

Oh, you realize if you skimp on this, they might do it wrong; you'll look like hell. Better sell a couple cars.

If you are so blessed to not need any plastic surgery or if you chose to stay saggy and unattractive that’s you. Don’t judge others that want to improve themselves. I don’t eat fried food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, you're not being selfish. If it's truly that important to you, your husband should be supportive. Men don't understand the impact having babies has on women.

+1. Stop sleeping with him. Say you feel totally uninterested because of your body image. I bet he'll give in.

isn't this the norm? all women stop sleeping with their husbands in their 40's and 50's. the discussion boards on this site confirm that.

? No, all women in their 40's /50s don't stop sleeping with their DHs.

-signed a 48 yr old female who still has sex regularly with her DH.

Do you feel attractive? Are you happy about the way you look? Just curious

No, I don't feel very attractive without my clothes. I have small boobs and am self conscious about it. I am not overweight, but having large babies on my small frame did a number on my belly. I have the dreaded mother's apron over a c-section scar. However, DH always tells me I'm beautiful, makes me feel cherished, and I know he loves me.

I would probably have surgery to fix my belly if we were very wealthy and didn't have kids to take care of. But as it is, with a HHI $180K and two kids, I can't justify spending that much money (and time and have DH do all the childcare/cooking/housechores and work while I recover) just to make me feel better about myself. I have better things to spend our money on right now, like our retirement (DH and I want to retire early) and our kids' college fund.

So it’s a matter of money. BTW, I am very happy for you that your husband makes you feel great and loves you so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope he comes around OP, I don't think you're being selfish at all.
Do you have any of your own funds that you can use for this?

OP says he boob job is for her and her husband likes her as is. How is that not being selfish?

Do you think that once a woman gets married and has children she's not allowed to want, much less do, anything for herself? She matters, her feelings matter, how she feels about herself matters. If you do everything to make everyone in your family happy and you want to count yourself in that number too, that's great. If that's being selfish I say more people need to be selfish.

Getting sliced open and having someone shove plastic into your chest makes you feel good? Eww.

Oh, you realize if you skimp on this, they might do it wrong; you'll look like hell. Better sell a couple cars.

Your post doesn't make much sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, you're not being selfish. If it's truly that important to you, your husband should be supportive. Men don't understand the impact having babies has on women.

+1. Stop sleeping with him. Say you feel totally uninterested because of your body image. I bet he'll give in.

isn't this the norm? all women stop sleeping with their husbands in their 40's and 50's. the discussion boards on this site confirm that.

? No, all women in their 40's /50s don't stop sleeping with their DHs.

-signed a 48 yr old female who still has sex regularly with her DH.

Do you feel attractive? Are you happy about the way you look? Just curious

No, I don't feel very attractive without my clothes. I have small boobs and am self conscious about it. I am not overweight, but having large babies on my small frame did a number on my belly. I have the dreaded mother's apron over a c-section scar. However, DH always tells me I'm beautiful, makes me feel cherished, and I know he loves me.

I would probably have surgery to fix my belly if we were very wealthy and didn't have kids to take care of. But as it is, with a HHI $180K and two kids, I can't justify spending that much money (and time and have DH do all the childcare/cooking/housechores and work while I recover) just to make me feel better about myself. I have better things to spend our money on right now, like our retirement (DH and I want to retire early) and our kids' college fund.

So it’s a matter of money. BTW, I am very happy for you that your husband makes you feel great and loves you so much.

PP here.. for me it is, but I don't think my DH would want me to do it (he's stated before that he wouldn't want me to have a boob job) because any kind of surgery has risks, and he'd rather have me whole and the way I am than risk complications from an unnecessary surgery that is all about vanity. I think that is what OP's DH is saying, too. I can respect that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, you're not being selfish. If it's truly that important to you, your husband should be supportive. Men don't understand the impact having babies has on women.

+1. Stop sleeping with him. Say you feel totally uninterested because of your body image. I bet he'll give in.

isn't this the norm? all women stop sleeping with their husbands in their 40's and 50's. the discussion boards on this site confirm that.

? No, all women in their 40's /50s don't stop sleeping with their DHs.

-signed a 48 yr old female who still has sex regularly with her DH.

Do you feel attractive? Are you happy about the way you look? Just curious

No, I don't feel very attractive without my clothes. I have small boobs and am self conscious about it. I am not overweight, but having large babies on my small frame did a number on my belly. I have the dreaded mother's apron over a c-section scar. However, DH always tells me I'm beautiful, makes me feel cherished, and I know he loves me.

I would probably have surgery to fix my belly if we were very wealthy and didn't have kids to take care of. But as it is, with a HHI $180K and two kids, I can't justify spending that much money (and time and have DH do all the childcare/cooking/housechores and work while I recover) just to make me feel better about myself. I have better things to spend our money on right now, like our retirement (DH and I want to retire early) and our kids' college fund.

So it’s a matter of money. BTW, I am very happy for you that your husband makes you feel great and loves you so much.

PP here.. for me it is, but I don't think my DH would want me to do it (he's stated before that he wouldn't want me to have a boob job) because any kind of surgery has risks, and he'd rather have me whole and the way I am than risk complications from an unnecessary surgery that is all about vanity. I think that is what OP's DH is saying, too. I can respect that.

My DH is on board with anything I want to do cosmetically. He loves it when I dress up or improve my appearance in anyway. He is very visual and finds me very sexy. He is also very much into sports and physical appearance himself. He is also super into sex even at 46

[Anonymous]

Your life, your body. I had a breast reduction and life. I don’t ish my spouse had objected. He would not dare.

[Anonymous]

Have you tried working out like crazy, specifically pectoral?

It works for some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you tried working out like crazy, specifically pectoral?

It works for some.

NP. I’ve tried that, and all it does it give my boobs a little shelf to hang down off of. Not a good look

[Anonymous]

Maybe he is like me and prefers saggy boobs?

[Anonymous]

Gosh I really miss my saggy, deflated, downward pointing boobs. These perfectly sized perky squeezable 34C’s are just horrible.
What was I thinking.