Do you consider redshirting cheating?

[Anonymous]

My friend in NC kept her kids back, for reasons I don’t know. One of her kids just turned 8 in 1st and her other kids have similar birthdays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend in NC kept her kids back, for reasons I don’t know. One of her kids just turned 8 in 1st and her other kids have similar birthdays.

Those poor kids.

[Anonymous]

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2011/09/25/opinion/sunday/dont-delay-your-kindergartners-start.html?referer=https://www.google.com/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend in NC kept her kids back, for reasons I don’t know. One of her kids just turned 8 in 1st and her other kids have similar birthdays.

Wow, my 8 year old fall birthday is in 3rd. That child should be in 2nd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My first grader has asked me why some kids in his class turn 7 at the same time as the kids in the older grade. What am I supposed to tell him? His mom thinks he’s shy?

The other kids are noticing.

I've actually noticed the opposite. My kids (4th and 5th grade) and their friends look up to the older (redshirted) kids. They wish they were the oldest kids.

My younger kid asks if they are dumb (not using those words). He thinks they aren't as smart and doesn't look up to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend in NC kept her kids back, for reasons I don’t know. One of her kids just turned 8 in 1st and her other kids have similar birthdays.

Wow, my 8 year old fall birthday is in 3rd. That child should be in 2nd.

PP here. Yes, my 7 year old 2nd grade will be 8 in April and I knew her kid was older than mine but didn’t realize the birthday was this early.

[Anonymous]

I think it's ridiculous to think of it as "redshirting" when the birthday falls within a month of the cut off. Particularly in VA, where our cut-off date is September 30, but in DC and MD (and many other states) it's Sep 1st. And many private schools in VA have adopted the Sep 1st cut-off date as well.

"Redshirting" usually, I think, refers to kids who have spring or early summer birthdays, or earlier, not those so close to the deadline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My first grader has asked me why some kids in his class turn 7 at the same time as the kids in the older grade. What am I supposed to tell him? His mom thinks he’s shy?

The other kids are noticing.

I've actually noticed the opposite. My kids (4th and 5th grade) and their friends look up to the older (redshirted) kids. They wish they were the oldest kids.

My younger kid asks if they are dumb (not using those words). He thinks they aren't as smart and doesn't look up to them.

Wow!! Hey redshirt haters!! So glad you all came to boost each other up!!

To all those considering this, don’t be deterred! We decided to have my daughter be among the oldest and that’s what we will tell her. It was a decision, a choice. There lies the differences in mentality, for better or worse. We felt it was a choice and others (usually who make the other choice) see it as cheating. Of course she “could of handled” going to K at 4, (very end of Sept. birthday) but we felt what was the point? We decided to give her a year and are thankful for it. My daughter is happy and successful in school. She loves being older and is not the only one (all others Sept. birthdays). My kids would have had TONS of anxiety being the youngest. Always playing catch up, not feeling good enough. She is smart, but I her case it would have been a big set back. What parent would knowingly agre to that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Yesterday, my kindergartener came home with a math worksheet that had the following problems on it: 18-7= ?; 23-12= ?, 16-5 = ?

My kindergarten experience consisted of drinking punch, rest, practicing counting and playing house.

My specialty is not early childhood development, but I wouldn't expect the typical 5-6-year-old to have difficulty with the idea that if you have 16 acorns, and someone takes away 5 acorns, how many acorns will you have left?

+1, you break it down. At that age we used the favorite toys that we had many of like skylanders and hot wheels. Easy way to show them and they can figure it out. Mine was not drinking punch, rest and playing. Many kids go into school reading, knowing their numbers and understanding the basic concept of addition and subtraction. It sucks for those kids to have a dumbed down curriculum waiting for kids who were not taught at home or preschool. We weren't even allowed punch at that age. My elementary school kids have never had punch. So, they could read and do basic numbers but fail K. as they will not be drinking punch.

Can you please rephrase? I cannot understand what idea you are trying to convey.

Her idea is that children do not learn through play -- in contradiction to what every child expert and parent knows.

And that punch is morally wrong.

I don't understand. Nobody is saying that children shouldn't learn through play. But your position seems to be that children should only learn through play. Or do I misunderstand?

I am the PP who started this thread (not the OP, or the person you are questioning, just to clarify). In public school today, children have very little play, no matter how you slice it. Sure, they Can they read at 4/5 and handle all the extra seated/desk time. They’ll adapt to it, even with growing pains. Is it good for them? IMO, no. Kindergarten use to be an introduction to school. There was nap and dramatic play across the board. Some don’t have snack anymore and many have homework. Again, sure some can do it, some may even like it, but why do they need to do it when generations before them learned to read and be good students without this intense academic pressure at such a young age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If redshirting is cheating, what about tutors? Afterall, not all families can afford them for their kid. Also, how about therapy. Not everyone gets that or can afford it. Seriously, when you are giving your child what they need to succeed in this world and it doesn't violate the rules, which red shirting does not in many places, then it's not cheating. What a crazy idea that you would withhold something that benefits your child just because everyone else doesn't do it.

What about private school?! Talk about cheating...

Trust funder here , we do public and they go on time. Frankly if they, with two educated parents and world travel and hugely varied experiences aren't "mature" enough for K, I've failed. Ironically its just such kids who are routinely redshirted.

Why isn't having a trust fund to pass on cheating? That seems far more impactful than whatever kindergarten start year your kid has.

The idea of a parent with a trust fund who is passing that trust fund on criticizing other parents for "cheating" because they redshirted is beyond laughable. My god, the privilege, it blinds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Trust funder here , we do public and they go on time. Frankly if they, with two educated parents and world travel and hugely varied experiences aren't "mature" enough for K, I've failed. Ironically its just such kids who are routinely redshirted.

Pure arrogance. I taught school. There are plenty of great parents with immature kids. I don't think you know the meaning of the term.

What do you expect? Started life on third base and thinks she hit a home run.

Not at all. I find it a real challenge to balance the desire to give and the desire to make them earn, I want them to have work ethic and know how to personally succeed- just like you I’m sure! Money is a challenge and a blessing, but please don’t overlook the challenge part. To me, being born on third base (like most DCUM children are, frankly) and then steal home really feels wrong. Poor kids have to go to school to get services. Rich kids spend another year in expensive preschools and on vacations and in extracurriculars. I don’t know more or feel superior or anything because o money, but it does present me with a lot more options. The PP asked about private school and I was attempting to point out that some people actually do consider private an indulgent luxury for wealthy kids with every advantage.

My tone was wrong. Apologies.

As to immaturity I thought we were all redshirting because of hard math.
Or wait no, because children come in different sizes and smaller kids need another year because they are small.
Or no wait is it immaturity? So, staying home with Mom matures more than a kid more than school would. Seems backwards, but sure.

I think you need to work a bit on your own parenting before jumping all over others for theirs because from what you're posting, you're pretty far from getting it as right as you seem to think you are...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My first grader has asked me why some kids in his class turn 7 at the same time as the kids in the older grade. What am I supposed to tell him? His mom thinks he’s shy?

The other kids are noticing.

I've actually noticed the opposite. My kids (4th and 5th grade) and their friends look up to the older (redshirted) kids. They wish they were the oldest kids.

My younger kid asks if they are dumb (not using those words). He thinks they aren't as smart and doesn't look up to them.

You need to teach your child some manners. Work on that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My first grader has asked me why some kids in his class turn 7 at the same time as the kids in the older grade. What am I supposed to tell him? His mom thinks he’s shy?

The other kids are noticing.

I've actually noticed the opposite. My kids (4th and 5th grade) and their friends look up to the older (redshirted) kids. They wish they were the oldest kids.

My younger kid asks if they are dumb (not using those words). He thinks they aren't as smart and doesn't look up to them.

You need to teach your child some manners. Work on that.

My child has great manners but reality is something is off if kids are held back a year, especially when they are summer birthday kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My first grader has asked me why some kids in his class turn 7 at the same time as the kids in the older grade. What am I supposed to tell him? His mom thinks he’s shy?

The other kids are noticing.

I've actually noticed the opposite. My kids (4th and 5th grade) and their friends look up to the older (redshirted) kids. They wish they were the oldest kids.

My younger kid asks if they are dumb (not using those words). He thinks they aren't as smart and doesn't look up to them.

You need to teach your child some manners. Work on that.

My child has great manners but reality is something is off if kids are held back a year, especially when they are summer birthday kids.

Who are you to judge? You are perpetuating your kids attitude

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If redshirting is cheating, what about tutors? Afterall, not all families can afford them for their kid. Also, how about therapy. Not everyone gets that or can afford it. Seriously, when you are giving your child what they need to succeed in this world and it doesn't violate the rules, which red shirting does not in many places, then it's not cheating. What a crazy idea that you would withhold something that benefits your child just because everyone else doesn't do it.

What about private school?! Talk about cheating...

Trust funder here , we do public and they go on time. Frankly if they, with two educated parents and world travel and hugely varied experiences aren't "mature" enough for K, I've failed. Ironically its just such kids who are routinely redshirted.

Why isn't having a trust fund to pass on cheating? That seems far more impactful than whatever kindergarten start year your kid has.

The idea of a parent with a trust fund who is passing that trust fund on criticizing other parents for "cheating" because they redshirted is beyond laughable. My god, the privilege, it blinds.

I can't pass on mine as I'm not dead yet. They have their own, so I can't not pass it on, its not mine.

But you're right, I cheated to get into my moms womb instead of your moms. Yep.

I had no more choice in who I was born to than your kids had choice in their birthdate. Neither one of us cheated by being born. It would only be cheating in my mind if I pretended I made millions. I didn't, it was a gift, just like all of you parents giving your child the "gift" of another year. If you don't like my circumstances, make sure you don't save a lot so that you die with nothing to pass on. Otherwise your kids would be cheaters, too.