Do you consider redshirting cheating?

[Anonymous]

DS turns 5 on September 27th and in our state, any kid who turns 5 by September 30th is eligible to go to Kindergarten. His preschool teachers have me advising us to redshirt him though. However, I feel like this would be morally wrong. I feel like redshirting him would would be cheating and giving an unfair advantage over his classmates. In our family, playing by the rules is heavily valued. Even though I know he will probably do better if we wait a year, I'd much rather he learn the value of hard work and fair play. In general, I would a lot better if he did okay in school, playing by the rules, than if he excelled in school by cheating. I also don't want criticism from other parents for gaming the system.

[Anonymous]

no, I honestly don't, especially for kids within the cut-off month.

My twins have a mid-September birthday in a state with a Sept 30th cut-off and we held them back after having conversations with their preschool teacher, preschool director and the incoming school's principal. We had a lot of thoughts about what the right decision was but never once did I think about whether or not it was "cheating".

[Anonymous]

You are overthinking this, OP. Your child was born days prior to the cutoff. It is too early to make a decision as a lot can happen developmentally between now and late-August.

Ask the preschool teachers why they recommend he wait a year — it is simply age-based, or it is immaturity, trouble following directions or other classroom behavior?

[Anonymous]

no, not necessarily. keeping a child back because they are not ready is one thing, holding them back when they are ready but you want to give them "an advantage" is another. i don;t think it's fair to the child who is held back, or to the one who is started on time but is in a class with kids who are almost an entire year older.

[Anonymous]

You’re ridiculous, OP. Of course it’s not cheating. Some kids are ready for K at that time, others are not. If he is not ready, take the extra year. Why make him struggle to prove your bone-headed point?

[Anonymous]

I do consider it gaming the system. Parents redshirt their children to give them an advantage. It also rewards school systems for having unrealistic expectations, reinforcing the cycle of redshirting and inappropriate expectations.

Also, from my DS's experience (September birthday sent on time) and his cousin's experience (September birthday redshirted), in the first couple years, the children either get a false sense of poor behavior or a false sense of mastery. Neither are ideal, but in older elementary school, DS's cousin is really struggling with not finding school easy anymore.

[Anonymous]

Nice try preachy troll - you feel so strongly, yet need to post on here for what reason?

[Anonymous]

OP ~ I think your outrage is more powerful and more widely shared, further back from the deadline.

[Anonymous]

No, but it depends the child. We held ours back as he missed the cut off at a private. It was clear he needed more so we skipped K and put him in 1st. If we held him back he easily would hit gifted but he would have been so bored as he's still testing at least a year+ ahead. Everyone pushes holding back. It was a huge mistake for us. Most people say hold back without really testing or knowing the child.

[Anonymous]

No. you do what is right for the child in front of you. The only way morality comes in is if you lie.

[Anonymous]

Nah. You do you.

[Anonymous]

And if you send him when he's not ready, he'll require extra attention and resources, thus taking away from other students.

This isn't a moral issue OP, so stop overthinking and listen to what the teachers are telling you. If you can afford it and professionals are advising it, wait a year to send him. He may not end up being the advanced super student you imagine even if you wait.

[Anonymous]

I did not redshirt my mid-September birthday boy, but even I don't consider it cheating. I do think it can cause problems in some cases, but you have to make the decision based on what is best for the kid.

There are districts all over the country with different cutoff dates, too. DS has a friend who moved here last year from a state with an Aug 31 cutoff. Friend is a year older than DS, even though they both started "on time". Is that cheating too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do consider it gaming the system. Parents redshirt their children to give them an advantage. It also rewards school systems for having unrealistic expectations, reinforcing the cycle of redshirting and inappropriate expectations.

Also, from my DS's experience (September birthday sent on time) and his cousin's experience (September birthday redshirted), in the first couple years, the children either get a false sense of poor behavior or a false sense of mastery. Neither are ideal, but in older elementary school, DS's cousin is really struggling with not finding school easy anymore.

This would be my fear with my Sept. bday child--that if everything is easy because she's so much older, that she won't get practice with challenging herself.

[Anonymous]

I would try to figure out, though, WHY they are advising you to redshirt. Is that their standard advice for any kid within a month of the cutoff date? If so, take that advice with a grain of salt. If it is based on specific concerns or behaviors they have observed in your child, and can articulate that, that's worth considering.

(Some people tried to tell me that we should redshirt just because he was born in September. For our kid, that was a ridiculous idea. He thrived in K. He's now in 4th and in advanced academics, doing great socially, and I can't think of a single reason that he'd be better in 3rd)