Do you consider redshirting cheating?

[Anonymous]

I was born one week before the cutoff date in my school district...but I also was born 3 weeks before my due date. My parents held me back, but I’m not sure if that was “cheating.” What say you, OP?

This is why it’s unreasonable to be hung up over a few days here or there. Just make the best decision for your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are overthinking this, OP. Your child was born days prior to the cutoff. It is too early to make a decision as a lot can happen developmentally between now and late-August.

Ask the preschool teachers why they recommend he wait a year — it is simply age-based, or it is immaturity, trouble following directions or other classroom behavior?

+1 People get irritated at the parents of the redshirted kid who is born 6 months before the cutoff, without no obvious developmental issues, but the parents decided to hold him back because he wasn't yet reading Cat in the Hat before kindergarten and his parents were afraid he would be average. And then when the kid enters kindergarten, he's like 1.5 years oldest than the youngest kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would try to figure out, though, WHY they are advising you to redshirt. Is that their standard advice for any kid within a month of the cutoff date? If so, take that advice with a grain of salt. If it is based on specific concerns or behaviors they have observed in your child, and can articulate that, that's worth considering.

(Some people tried to tell me that we should redshirt just because he was born in September. For our kid, that was a ridiculous idea. He thrived in K. He's now in 4th and in advanced academics, doing great socially, and I can't think of a single reason that he'd be better in 3rd)

I agree. Some educators take the one-size-fits-all approach with boys. When we were debating this question with our DS, so many simply gave the blanket, "well boys should start late" without knowing our son. I would definitely ask for specifics.

Like PP, we didn't reshirt and our son thrived in K, and all along in school. He's now in HS in honors classes, gets great grades, and has a strong work ethic. Sometimes I wonder if we'd held him back, would this be the case? There are studies showing being the youngest is actually beneficial and the points they highlight seem to fit our DS perfectly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would try to figure out, though, WHY they are advising you to redshirt. Is that their standard advice for any kid within a month of the cutoff date? If so, take that advice with a grain of salt. If it is based on specific concerns or behaviors they have observed in your child, and can articulate that, that's worth considering.

(Some people tried to tell me that we should redshirt just because he was born in September. For our kid, that was a ridiculous idea. He thrived in K. He's now in 4th and in advanced academics, doing great socially, and I can't think of a single reason that he'd be better in 3rd)

I agree. Some educators take the one-size-fits-all approach with boys. When we were debating this question with our DS, so many simply gave the blanket, "well boys should start late" without knowing our son. I would definitely ask for specifics.

Like PP, we didn't reshirt and our son thrived in K, and all along in school. He's now in HS in honors classes, gets great grades, and has a strong work ethic. Sometimes I wonder if we'd held him back, would this be the case? There are studies showing being the youngest is actually beneficial and the points they highlight seem to fit our DS perfectly.

Us too. The thing that troubles me about redshirting is that I live in an extremely high SES area. The parents doing this en masse around me are ones with the good kinds of SAHM, the ones who grow up in museums and traveling internationally and being loved and adored by friends and family. If THESE kids are "not ready" for the "rigors" of K, you really think inner city kids raised in subsidized child care are?

The privilege astounds me. I'm rich but my kids are fine, they've grown up with education and privilege, of course they can handle freaking kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

No, I don't think it's cheating.

--Mom of summer boy, youngest in his class

[Anonymous]

Why is education a competition? I would be less concerned that a redshirted child might edge out my child in acceptance at college, 13 years later, than an immature child might disrupt my child's education now.

Any cutoff date is by definition arbitrary. Regardless of the date that might be set, there will always be kids who qualify for Kindergarten who need an extra year and kids who aren't old enough to start, but are ready for it.

My child had severe speech problems requiring therapy. We redshirted DC. Do you consider this cheating? Does it make a difference that the school was in the process of moving the cutoff because they felt it should be set earlier in the year? In other words, the year DC should have entered kindergarten she was redshirted, but if DC was entering K now, the cutoff would dictate waiting another year because the school system decided kids in general should be older before starting K.

I think rather than worrying about "cheating", you should do what's best for your child, which as other posters have discussed, is not necessarily redshirting. If you feel your child isn't ready for Kindergarten, then by all means hold him back. On the other hand, if he is ready, then go ahead and start him. Holding a child who is otherwise ready is not doing them any favors. Only people who know your child can advise you. There are many factors to consider, but age should be the least of these.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do consider it gaming the system. Parents redshirt their children to give them an advantage. It also rewards school systems for having unrealistic expectations, reinforcing the cycle of redshirting and inappropriate expectations.

Also, from my DS's experience (September birthday sent on time) and his cousin's experience (September birthday redshirted), in the first couple years, the children either get a false sense of poor behavior or a false sense of mastery. Neither are ideal, but in older elementary school, DS's cousin is really struggling with not finding school easy anymore.

this

[Anonymous]

Not technically. But putting your seat all the way back on an airplane is allowed too. Doesn’t mean it’s right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is education a competition? I would be less concerned that a redshirted child might edge out my child in acceptance at college, 13 years later, than an immature child might disrupt my child's education now.

Any cutoff date is by definition arbitrary. Regardless of the date that might be set, there will always be kids who qualify for Kindergarten who need an extra year and kids who aren't old enough to start, but are ready for it.

My child had severe speech problems requiring therapy. We redshirted DC. Do you consider this cheating? Does it make a difference that the school was in the process of moving the cutoff because they felt it should be set earlier in the year? In other words, the year DC should have entered kindergarten she was redshirted, but if DC was entering K now, the cutoff would dictate waiting another year because the school system decided kids in general should be older before starting K.

I think rather than worrying about "cheating", you should do what's best for your child, which as other posters have discussed, is not necessarily redshirting. If you feel your child isn't ready for Kindergarten, then by all means hold him back. On the other hand, if he is ready, then go ahead and start him. Holding a child who is otherwise ready is not doing them any favors. Only people who know your child can advise you. There are many factors to consider, but age should be the least of these.

Yes, the entitlement. Studies are showing pretty clearly that redshirting ends up being a disadvantage, so who is to determine whats actually "best"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are overthinking this, OP. Your child was born days prior to the cutoff. It is too early to make a decision as a lot can happen developmentally between now and late-August.

Ask the preschool teachers why they recommend he wait a year — it is simply age-based, or it is immaturity, trouble following directions or other classroom behavior?

+1 People get irritated at the parents of the redshirted kid who is born 6 months before the cutoff, without no obvious developmental issues, but the parents decided to hold him back because he wasn't yet reading Cat in the Hat before kindergarten and his parents were afraid he would be average. And then when the kid enters kindergarten, he's like 1.5 years oldest than the youngest kid.

This. And it's worse when they start complaining that their kid isn't challenged, and I'm thinking, your kid isn't some kind of genius, he's just way older than the other kids. If you were so worried about him being challenged, maybe you should have sent him to school with his cohort.

I also don't like the way that higher SES parents use it to confer some advantage on their already-advantaged child, when it's an option that's not really available to lower SES kids because their parents can't afford the extra year of child care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS turns 5 on September 27th and in our state, any kid who turns 5 by September 30th is eligible to go to Kindergarten. His preschool teachers have me advising us to redshirt him though. However, I feel like this would be morally wrong. I feel like redshirting him would would be cheating and giving an unfair advantage over his classmates. In our family, playing by the rules is heavily valued. Even though I know he will probably do better if we wait a year, I'd much rather he learn the value of hard work and fair play. In general, I would a lot better if he did okay in school, playing by the rules, than if he excelled in school by cheating. I also don't want criticism from other parents for gaming the system.

Good news, OP! The rules allow for a one-year delayed entry to kindergarten! If you delay your child's entry to kindergarten by one year, you are playing by the rules!

Does My Child Have To Go To Kindergarten?

Under the compulsory attendance laws of Virginia, a child whose fifth birthday falls on or before September 30 of a given year must be enrolled in school for that school year. However, a child's attendance may be delayed for one year if, in the opinion of the parent or guardian, the child is not mentally, physically, or emotionally prepared to attend school. You must inform the Department of Pupil Services, Pupil Services Coordinator, in writing if you decide not to register your child. A letter may be sent to Pupil Services Coordinator, Loudoun County Public Schools, 21000 Education Court, Ashburn, Virginia 20148.

https://www.lcps.org/page/395

Alternatively, if the rules do not allow for a one-year delayed entry to kindergarten, then a one-year delayed entry isn't "cheating", it's "breaking the law".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

+1 People get irritated at the parents of the redshirted kid who is born 6 months before the cutoff, without no obvious developmental issues, but the parents decided to hold him back because he wasn't yet reading Cat in the Hat before kindergarten and his parents were afraid he would be average. And then when the kid enters kindergarten, he's like 1.5 years oldest than the youngest kid.

People who? I don't get irritated. Within the bounds of what's allowed, you should do what you think best for your kid (early entry, on time, late entry), and I'll do what I think best for mine.

In fact, I wouldn't have known to get irritated. Unless you invited my kid to your kid's birthday party, I don't know when your kid's birthday is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS turns 5 on September 27th and in our state, any kid who turns 5 by September 30th is eligible to go to Kindergarten. His preschool teachers have me advising us to redshirt him though. However, I feel like this would be morally wrong. I feel like redshirting him would would be cheating and giving an unfair advantage over his classmates. In our family, playing by the rules is heavily valued. Even though I know he will probably do better if we wait a year, I'd much rather he learn the value of hard work and fair play. In general, I would a lot better if he did okay in school, playing by the rules, than if he excelled in school by cheating. I also don't want criticism from other parents for gaming the system.

If your child who meets the cutoff by three days is not ready to begin kindergarten based on input from his preschool teachers, and if you yourself value their input and agree with their assessment, then IMO it is morally wrong to send your child to kindergarten too early.

The rules exist for a reason, and so do the exceptions. A child who meets the cutoff by three days may not be ready to go and it is entirely reasonable to hold him back.

FWIW, my son met the cutoff by one week and we held him back. He is a college sophomore now, doing very well. Over the years, DH (who was NOT held back and should have been, and struggled a lot) and I have commented repeatedly that we are so glad that we made that choice.

This is not a choice for a single year. It is a choice for his entire school career. Consider it from that point of view.

[Anonymous]

+1 People get irritated at the parents of the redshirted kid who is born 6 months before the cutoff, without no obvious developmental issues, but the parents decided to hold him back because he wasn't yet reading Cat in the Hat before kindergarten and his parents were afraid he would be average. And then when the kid enters kindergarten, he's like 1.5 years oldest than the youngest kid.

Irritated might be too strong of a word, but yes, it's weird when these kids with February/March birthdays get their learners permits in 9th grade and graduate from HS months after turning 19. Especially if the parents did it for bragging rights, which is probably not uncommon.

Starting a September birthday kid a year late is not cheating. I didn't do it with my September kid, but I thought he was ready and he didn't have great options for another year of pre-school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do consider it gaming the system. Parents redshirt their children to give them an advantage. It also rewards school systems for having unrealistic expectations, reinforcing the cycle of redshirting and inappropriate expectations.

Also, from my DS's experience (September birthday sent on time) and his cousin's experience (September birthday redshirted), in the first couple years, the children either get a false sense of poor behavior or a false sense of mastery. Neither are ideal, but in older elementary school, DS's cousin is really struggling with not finding school easy anymore.

This would be my fear with my Sept. bday child--that if everything is easy because she's so much older, that she won't get practice with challenging herself.

Many or maybe most kindergarten students from affluent families find school very easy and are not challenged, whether or not they were held back.

Come back and talk to me when they are in middle and high school. A young-for-his-grade boy is highly likely to struggle, which creates a host of other issues in addition to the academic ones.