He lied

[Anonymous]

OP, how did things go this weekend, what with him supposed to come by and get his stuff and all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, how did things go this weekend, what with him supposed to come by and get his stuff and all?

He came and got everything! It's done. I feel so relived it's over and can move on!! He was very apologetic and we talked, he seemed crushed that I couldn't get past it.
I had to re explain that it wasn't even the initial lie, it was ALL the lies and making stuff up around the initial lie over the years. He said his worst nightmare was me finding out about it. That is he relieved its out, but devastated. He asked if we can get coffee sometime this week and talk. I said yes, pretty much so he would leave. I just am not going to agree to a coffee date. We both need to move on. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how did things go this weekend, what with him supposed to come by and get his stuff and all?

He came and got everything! It's done. I feel so relived it's over and can move on!! He was very apologetic and we talked, he seemed crushed that I couldn't get past it.
I had to re explain that it wasn't even the initial lie, it was ALL the lies and making stuff up around the initial lie over the years. He said his worst nightmare was me finding out about it. That is he relieved its out, but devastated. He asked if we can get coffee sometime this week and talk. I said yes, pretty much so he would leave. I just am not going to agree to a coffee date. We both need to move on. Ugh.

I know this really blows, OP. But you've got a ton of people who are happy for you right now and wishing you well in the future.

There's something funny here that I've been learning to identify while dating after divorce. It's that little being crushed that *you* couldn't get past it. He made it your problem. How about being crushed that he hurt you so badly? Crushed that he broke your trust? Crushed that his bad actions resulted in the end of the relationship?

[Anonymous]

I know this really blows, OP. But you've got a ton of people who are happy for you right now and wishing you well in the future.

There's something funny here that I've been learning to identify while dating after divorce. It's that little being crushed that *you* couldn't get past it. He made it your problem. How about being crushed that he hurt you so badly? Crushed that he broke your trust? Crushed that his bad actions resulted in the end of the relationship?

+1 Thanks for the update, OP. I'm sure you'll find you dodge a bullet. Please keep us update when you find out other lies he told!

[Anonymous]

I've had two friends marry guys they caught in major lies before the wedding. Needless to say one is divorced and the other should divorce but is scared to. This is your red flag. If he went on with a lie that large for so long, believe me he's got a ton of other lies you haven't found out about. Postpone until you can trust him.

[Anonymous]

Ok, call me crazy here - but how old are you both? I'm not condoning his behavior, but I'm wondering if he perhaps felt insecure about admitting he was renting, and just stupidly got wrapped up into his lie. Or maybe there was just a misunderstanding? It just seems so strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, call me crazy here - but how old are you both? I'm not condoning his behavior, but I'm wondering if he perhaps felt insecure about admitting he was renting, and just stupidly got wrapped up into his lie. Or maybe there was just a misunderstanding? It just seems so strange.

Mid thirties, professionals. Mature enough to know right from wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, call me crazy here - but how old are you both? I'm not condoning his behavior, but I'm wondering if he perhaps felt insecure about admitting he was renting, and just stupidly got wrapped up into his lie. Or maybe there was just a misunderstanding? It just seems so strange.

That would be a little bit funny if this was a C-grade sitcom with a laugh track , but in real life it's just wrong and not funny at all.
Have coffee with him in 5 years if he has grown into a good man and you are, for some strange reason, still single.

[Anonymous]

I didn't read the whole thread, just want to say yes, this is big, and you should not marry this man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how did things go this weekend, what with him supposed to come by and get his stuff and all?

He came and got everything! It's done. I feel so relived it's over and can move on!! He was very apologetic and we talked, he seemed crushed that I couldn't get past it.
I had to re explain that it wasn't even the initial lie, it was ALL the lies and making stuff up around the initial lie over the years. He said his worst nightmare was me finding out about it. That is he relieved its out, but devastated. He asked if we can get coffee sometime this week and talk. I said yes, pretty much so he would leave. I just am not going to agree to a coffee date. We both need to move on. Ugh.

Proud of you OP!

[Anonymous]

Lol this comes to mind
[img]
http://www.fvquotes.com/10416/this-is-what-happens-quotes/[/img]

[Anonymous]

This is MAJOR. Do not marry him.

[Anonymous]

Oops just read! Good riddance and good luck op!

[Anonymous]

Little lies snowball. He probably told you this during courting / dating stage to impress you, didn't want you thinking he was a broke schmuck. It got too hard to walk back when it became serious, so he doubled down.

It's literally what Brian Williams got caught up in. He probably told a white lie first ... but then people kept bringing it up, so it got more extravagant each time. If Brian Williams can get another chair on MSNBC then you can get past this.