Stay-At-Home-Mother but not Housekeeper

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand what all the derision and questioning is about. I do what OP is asking about and it has worked out great.

I was a nanny for a high profile family during college and got my masters in Early Childhood Education. I worked as a teacher and then director of a preschool before becoming a mother. When I was pregnant, DH and I had many discussions about what our roles would be after our baby was born. I made it clear that I was not giving up a great job to start picking up his socks or taking out the trash. Our lives in regard to our home would remain the same with me switching from teaching other children to teaching our children.

I did nurse for 18 months, narrated for DD, went to a class nearly every morning and read to her for over an hour every day. DH and I both work out in the morning but alternate who goes first - whomever is in bed last makes the bed. We do dishes as we use them. We have a cleaning service once a week and a maid who comes in once a week (DH's bachelor maid) who does all laundry for both DH and myself as well as picking up our dry cleaning.

My days are devoted to my daughter. We do a lot of slow cooker meals that DH and I prepare together the night before or make salads after DH comes home. I do the dinner dishes and DH does the bath, books, bed routine with DD. I have always done the grocery shopping and he has always done errands and that hasn't changed.

It takes organization, OP, and a manageable house (we have a five room townhouse with a deck we have set up as an outdoor playroom). Good luck! I have truly loved being home with my kid!

What on earth is 'narrating for DD?'

You sound like the biggest helicopter imaginable.

[Anonymous]

If you have the money to SAHM and be with your kids then good for you! If you have the money to outsource the drudge work of running a household? Even better.

You are providing employment opportunity to someone who needs it. Good for you!

SAHM =/= Housekeeper. You stayed at home to be with your kids, so be with your kids. Your DH and family will appreciate a stress free wife/mom at home. Obviously, if you cannot afford to outsource then you will have to divvy up the work with your family. But that is not what you are asking are you?

OP, go and have a good life. It is your business how you live it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand what all the derision and questioning is about. I do what OP is asking about and it has worked out great.

I was a nanny for a high profile family during college and got my masters in Early Childhood Education. I worked as a teacher and then director of a preschool before becoming a mother. When I was pregnant, DH and I had many discussions about what our roles would be after our baby was born. I made it clear that I was not giving up a great job to start picking up his socks or taking out the trash. Our lives in regard to our home would remain the same with me switching from teaching other children to teaching our children.

I did nurse for 18 months, narrated for DD, went to a class nearly every morning and read to her for over an hour every day. DH and I both work out in the morning but alternate who goes first - whomever is in bed last makes the bed. We do dishes as we use them. We have a cleaning service once a week and a maid who comes in once a week (DH's bachelor maid) who does all laundry for both DH and myself as well as picking up our dry cleaning.

My days are devoted to my daughter. We do a lot of slow cooker meals that DH and I prepare together the night before or make salads after DH comes home. I do the dinner dishes and DH does the bath, books, bed routine with DD. I have always done the grocery shopping and he has always done errands and that hasn't changed.

It takes organization, OP, and a manageable house (we have a five room townhouse with a deck we have set up as an outdoor playroom). Good luck! I have truly loved being home with my kid!

What on earth is 'narrating for DD?'

You sound like the biggest helicopter imaginable.

Says the person whose kid is dumped in a daycare! Obviously, you are not a early childhood expert like the Ppp is so STFU!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand what all the derision and questioning is about. I do what OP is asking about and it has worked out great.

I was a nanny for a high profile family during college and got my masters in Early Childhood Education. I worked as a teacher and then director of a preschool before becoming a mother. When I was pregnant, DH and I had many discussions about what our roles would be after our baby was born. I made it clear that I was not giving up a great job to start picking up his socks or taking out the trash. Our lives in regard to our home would remain the same with me switching from teaching other children to teaching our children.

I did nurse for 18 months, narrated for DD, went to a class nearly every morning and read to her for over an hour every day. DH and I both work out in the morning but alternate who goes first - whomever is in bed last makes the bed. We do dishes as we use them. We have a cleaning service once a week and a maid who comes in once a week (DH's bachelor maid) who does all laundry for both DH and myself as well as picking up our dry cleaning.

My days are devoted to my daughter. We do a lot of slow cooker meals that DH and I prepare together the night before or make salads after DH comes home. I do the dinner dishes and DH does the bath, books, bed routine with DD. I have always done the grocery shopping and he has always done errands and that hasn't changed.


It takes organization, OP, and a manageable house (we have a five room townhouse with a deck we have set up as an outdoor playroom). Good luck! I have truly loved being home with my kid!

What on earth is 'narrating for DD?'

You sound like the biggest helicopter imaginable.

Wait, what's the difference between a cleaning service and a maid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you asking if you can hire a cleaning lady/housekeeper? Of course you can if your finances permit. I'm a SAHM with young children and have a housekeeper 3x/week. She does the deep cleaning/tidying, laundry for the entire family and some food prep. I recommend it. Of course, with young children at home - especially the 2-4 set, even with a housekeeper I find myself constantly picking up, cooking and doing food prep -- but it is way less this way.

What is is that you do, exactly?

I think the (p)pp spends time with her kids? She is not a maid or a housekeeper. You know some WOHMs are also not maids and housekeepers. They also outsource house work so that they can spend time with their kids or spouse. Do you not understand this or are you not UMC?

[Anonymous]

^ I understand if you have a maid come frequently... I guess they would change Tp, cook, do laundry, make beds. But only weekly I don't see what a maid would do that the house cleaners don't, as cleaners will make the beds, change sheets, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand what all the derision and questioning is about. I do what OP is asking about and it has worked out great.

I was a nanny for a high profile family during college and got my masters in Early Childhood Education. I worked as a teacher and then director of a preschool before becoming a mother. When I was pregnant, DH and I had many discussions about what our roles would be after our baby was born. I made it clear that I was not giving up a great job to start picking up his socks or taking out the trash. Our lives in regard to our home would remain the same with me switching from teaching other children to teaching our children.

I did nurse for 18 months, narrated for DD, went to a class nearly every morning and read to her for over an hour every day. DH and I both work out in the morning but alternate who goes first - whomever is in bed last makes the bed. We do dishes as we use them. We have a cleaning service once a week and a maid who comes in once a week (DH's bachelor maid) who does all laundry for both DH and myself as well as picking up our dry cleaning.

My days are devoted to my daughter. We do a lot of slow cooker meals that DH and I prepare together the night before or make salads after DH comes home. I do the dinner dishes and DH does the bath, books, bed routine with DD. I have always done the grocery shopping and he has always done errands and that hasn't changed.


It takes organization, OP, and a manageable house (we have a five room townhouse with a deck we have set up as an outdoor playroom). Good luck! I have truly loved being home with my kid!

What on earth is 'narrating for DD?'

You sound like the biggest helicopter imaginable.

Wait, what's the difference between a cleaning service and a maid?

I am guessing cleaning service does a prescribed routine of cleaning only. Maid will do the tasks you want her to - decluttering, cleaning, laundry, food prep etc. I have found that having two sets of helpers on different days actually provides better coverage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand what all the derision and questioning is about. I do what OP is asking about and it has worked out great.

I was a nanny for a high profile family during college and got my masters in Early Childhood Education. I worked as a teacher and then director of a preschool before becoming a mother. When I was pregnant, DH and I had many discussions about what our roles would be after our baby was born. I made it clear that I was not giving up a great job to start picking up his socks or taking out the trash. Our lives in regard to our home would remain the same with me switching from teaching other children to teaching our children.

I did nurse for 18 months, narrated for DD, went to a class nearly every morning and read to her for over an hour every day. DH and I both work out in the morning but alternate who goes first - whomever is in bed last makes the bed. We do dishes as we use them. We have a cleaning service once a week and a maid who comes in once a week (DH's bachelor maid) who does all laundry for both DH and myself as well as picking up our dry cleaning.

My days are devoted to my daughter. We do a lot of slow cooker meals that DH and I prepare together the night before or make salads after DH comes home. I do the dinner dishes and DH does the bath, books, bed routine with DD. I have always done the grocery shopping and he has always done errands and that hasn't changed.

It takes organization, OP, and a manageable house (we have a five room townhouse with a deck we have set up as an outdoor playroom). Good luck! I have truly loved being home with my kid!

What on earth is 'narrating for DD?'

You sound like the biggest helicopter imaginable.

It isn't. Narration is actually pretty amazing and respectful of the baby as a person. You simply narrate everything that you're doing "I am picking you up now", We're walking into the kitchen. ". I was truly amazed by how three month old babies can understand and react accordingly (like tense their muscles when you tell them you are picking them up).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ I understand if you have a maid come frequently... I guess they would change Tp, cook, do laundry, make beds. But only weekly I don't see what a maid would do that the house cleaners don't, as cleaners will make the beds, change sheets, etc.

NP here. I do not know how it works for others, but I have an hourly helper who helps me to deep clean and declutter. Stuff she does - sorting out the pantry, cleaning the refrigerator, yard work, cleaning garage, organizing stuff, putting away clothes, organizing closets, cleaning out drawers and cabinets, food prep, washing school bags, lunch boxes, rugs, sneakers, recycling, picking drycleaning, childcare, pick up or drop off my children (at times), cleaning the interior of my cars, helping me with dinner parties, serving etc. I pay her exceedingly well and she has been with me for 15 years. She employs another lady to do the cleaning for me. She comes twice a week. I have been very lucky to have her, because she has an innate sense of organization and is very self directed. She will find something in my house that needs doing - be it watering my plants, putting my groceries away, refilling soap pumps, even painting smudges off my walls and do it.

[Anonymous]

My crystal ball tells me OP is going to be the worst helicopter mom on Planet Earth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ I understand if you have a maid come frequently... I guess they would change Tp, cook, do laundry, make beds. But only weekly I don't see what a maid would do that the house cleaners don't, as cleaners will make the beds, change sheets, etc.

NP here. I do not know how it works for others, but I have an hourly helper who helps me to deep clean and declutter. Stuff she does - sorting out the pantry, cleaning the refrigerator, yard work, cleaning garage, organizing stuff, putting away clothes, organizing closets, cleaning out drawers and cabinets, food prep, washing school bags, lunch boxes, rugs, sneakers, recycling, picking drycleaning, childcare, pick up or drop off my children (at times), cleaning the interior of my cars, helping me with dinner parties, serving etc. I pay her exceedingly well and she has been with me for 15 years. She employs another lady to do the cleaning for me. She comes twice a week. I have been very lucky to have her, because she has an innate sense of organization and is very self directed. She will find something in my house that needs doing - be it watering my plants, putting my groceries away, refilling soap pumps, even painting smudges off my walls and do it.

Lol ok. If you say so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:so does this also mean you won't do grocery shopping, cook dinner, etc? I also don't know why you need to nap when baby naps (not talking the first few months). I was back at work at 4-5 months and didn't have the luxury to nap. Not sure why you can't do household laundry (non baby), start dinner, etc while baby naps...

Sweetie, you do you! Ok? Yes, you are very organized and super capable. I hope your DH appreciates that and worships the ground you walk on. You get the medal for the best mom on DCUM! Enjoy!

You do not need to understand why others live their lives the way they do. That should not be your concern. You keep doing the awesome work you are doing in your own life. ok?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ I understand if you have a maid come frequently... I guess they would change Tp, cook, do laundry, make beds. But only weekly I don't see what a maid would do that the house cleaners don't, as cleaners will make the beds, change sheets, etc.

NP here. I do not know how it works for others, but I have an hourly helper who helps me to deep clean and declutter. Stuff she does - sorting out the pantry, cleaning the refrigerator, yard work, cleaning garage, organizing stuff, putting away clothes, organizing closets, cleaning out drawers and cabinets, food prep, washing school bags, lunch boxes, rugs, sneakers, recycling, picking drycleaning, childcare, pick up or drop off my children (at times), cleaning the interior of my cars, helping me with dinner parties, serving etc. I pay her exceedingly well and she has been with me for 15 years. She employs another lady to do the cleaning for me. She comes twice a week. I have been very lucky to have her, because she has an innate sense of organization and is very self directed. She will find something in my house that needs doing - be it watering my plants, putting my groceries away, refilling soap pumps, even painting smudges off my walls and do it.

Lol ok. If you say so.

Lol! I do say so! There is a reason people cannot retain great staff and the reason is that they are too cheap to pay them well. Thankfully, she understands that and has been with me for a long time. Do you even know how difficult it is to find good help (probably not, because you do not believe anyone can or should pay domestic staff well)? For most people it is a revolving door of cleaners and maids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My crystal ball tells me OP is going to be the worst helicopter mom on Planet Earth.

Maybe, but she will not miss a day of her kids childhood, and will have a clean and well run house. Being a helicopter mom is better than a negligent mom!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My crystal ball tells me OP is going to be the worst helicopter mom on Planet Earth.

Get a life, PP. we all know exactly who you are and what kind of a parent you are.